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Topic:
Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 16 - *10/05
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HandmaidenVeme
Registered:
Jun '04
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Date Posted:
5/31 10:51pm
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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Poor Padme...there's no use fighting it. Both being older and wiser it could be different this time around.
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Angel #1 the "Mischievous" one
"Anakin Skywalker's Towel Girl"
Team Edward!
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ROTSFan
Registered:
Jul '06
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Date Posted:
5/31 11:38pm
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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The terrible things he’d done when he’d turned to the dark side no longer helped her hold him at bay. She could see how desperately he wanted to atone and it made her heart ache.
The last day and night had proved that she couldn’t separate the two halves of his life, deluding herself that she only loved one and despised the other. Padmé didn’t pretend to understand how Anakin could be both, or how he could have done the things he had, but she loved him regardless.
That was her weakness.
Another tear slipped free, splashing onto her cheek. Pain bloomed, riding on the back of resentment and quenched the heat. Except nothing else had changed.
The second world was a dangerous place. If she let herself follow her heart, could she guarantee that history wouldn’t repeat itself on this too? Anakin’s weakness was the fear of loss. The horror that was Vader had been born out of that fear. She remembered the nightmares, rash paranoia, and black obsession all too well. The memories roughened her skin with goose-bumps. What if he had another nightmare about her? What if she were under threat—as she was now? If she were to die now, she would go to the first world: this time to stay, separating them again. If she told him she loved him, they’d become lovers. What would Anakin then do if he was faced with her losing her a second time?
Last time, millions had paid for her mistake in tempting him to defy the Jedi Code. Did she even have the right to risk it again?
Chest aching, Padmé already knew the answer. No. But, still, a part of her was teetering on the brink of not caring about right and wrong. If he pushed it, she might crumble.
 So beautiful. So poignant, I hope they both find their peace together very soon. To his credit, Anakin does seem like he's matured and taken the best of all of his experiences (Vader, Anakin, Obi-Wan) with him.
“You arrested the Wookiee. That was not in the plan. If losing her has cost you then you must look to yourself for the blame.” The icy chill in that reply had Lyonides head bowing against his will. It was as if a heavy hand had grasped his head, forcing the mark of respect, and obedience. Wounded pride quailed as dread skittered down his spine. All of a sudden, he could no longer ignore the bodies still shackled to the walls. From underneath his lashes, his eyes flickered from one to another; gleaming bone, flaps of grey skin, dark pools underneath.
Sidious finally allowed himself to give his full attention to his ‘guest’. He approached slowly, savouring the stench of futile terror. The dark energies in the room seethed with it, every bit as ravenous as he. At first, this new hunger in him had elicited a faint disgust, but survival made any necessity palatable—even, dare he say it—enjoyable. Reaching out, he stroked one cheek, scraping by the eye he hadn’t yet plucked out. She gave him so much gratification, as well as nourishment; puffs of horror, strangled wails of agony, icy sweat that tingled saltily on the tongue, desperate, uncontrollable urination.
You certainly write Palps really well. This is some really creepy stuff, and I mean skillfully creepy. This would give Steven King's writing a run for his money. 
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 Fics in profile; ask me to unlock ~I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I hoped it would be." - Office Space
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FitJedi
Registered:
Jan '06
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Date Posted:
5/31 11:49pm
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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Once again so much drama and so much emotion. I love how Anakin put Padme and Freyr before him to ensure they could get out. Even in the afterworld Padme still is fighting her emotions over him. Can't wait for more.
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naadi
Registered:
Mar '05
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Date Posted:
6/1 4:57am
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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I loved this chapter,as i scrolled down the page I was hoping it wouldn't end lol.I loved the depth and mixture of all the emotions padme is feeling.I believe this is their second chance and she should take it.Can't wait for more as usual.Keep up the great work!!
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Anakin/Padme
Hayden/Nat
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_ThatJediScum_
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
6/1 4:52pm
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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A quick note before reading the update-- I found this story about two weeks ago and fell in love with it. You are doing a wonderful job.
A question: Most of the people on this particular plane of existence seem to be "living" there as if this was their last stop, whereas Anakin seems to be trying to learn something so he can move on to the next plane of existence. Are most people there trying to move on? Or do they not know they can move on? Or do they just think that where they are is where they are supposed to end up after they die?
bran
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Helen_Taft
Registered:
Mar '08
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Date Posted:
6/1 5:49pm
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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Thanks to everyone for commenting!  Author responses will be up in a few days.
_ThatJediScum_ posted:
A quick note before reading the update-- I found this story about two weeks ago and fell in love with it. You are doing a wonderful job.
A question: Most of the people on this particular plane of existence seem to be "living" there as if this was their last stop, whereas Anakin seems to be trying to learn something so he can move on to the next plane of existence. Are most people there trying to move on? Or do they not know they can move on? Or do they just think that where they are is where they are supposed to end up after they die?
bran
Hi Bran. I'm chuffed you're liking the story so far and I'm going to answer your question now. The second world is a waystation and trying for redemption is a big part of most peoples lives--there is a massive temple devoted to atonement. Basically they're all in the same boat as Anakin (although with a few million less deaths on their conscience *g*). This is their second chance to decide their eventual fate: will they go up or down. Some don't try too hard and live pretty much as they did in the 'living' world, either because, while not wholly bad, they don't care to reform, or they're banking on a long second chance considering nobody ages. There is a scene in an upcoming chapter that will make this much clearer. But, it's not spoilery to make it clear for you now.
I hope you enjoy the update. 
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nabooqueen2008
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
6/1 8:00pm
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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Oh I love your posts! They are long and detailed!!!!! This one is the best! Anakin's focus, Padme finally breaking down. I loved every second of it...it's almost like I can see it like in a movie or something. Great! Keep it coming!
~nabooqueen~
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Lisbev
Registered:
May '08
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Date Posted:
6/1 8:30pm
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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OMG! How do you do it? Every chapter is so wonderful!
I love your characterization of A & P. Anakin’s constant struggle to keep the dark urges at bay & Padmé’s struggle not to give into her feelings.  You convey their tumultuous emotions so beautifully. Hopefully they’ll eventually get a chance at happiness. 
So, Sir Creepster Sidious has a personal vendetta against Mr. Cuteness … Yikes!  I’m dying to find out who the poor person being tortured is.
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slow_dawn
Registered:
Apr '06
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Date Posted:
6/2 2:21am
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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Lovely update! As always your A/P characterization is great. Your Palpatine was quite creepy as well.
This is a fantastic story!
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O, Life! That persistent struggle which rises slowly with with the warmth of dawn but fades quickly in the twilight of dusk! The Tragedy of Anakin Skywalker??? The Vig Challenge Board - http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/28176650/p1
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KELIA
Title: Moderator: Fan Fiction
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
6/2 4:01am
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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she loved him regardless.
That was her weakness.
And her strength, even if she's not ready to admit it yet.
You captured Palpatine perfectly
*shudders*
Great update
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JediMasterRev
Registered:
Dec '04
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Date Posted:
6/2 6:20am
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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My apologies for not posting sooner, but was stuck all weekend in marriage classes. Gotta love them. Had to ome back to work in order to 'play.'
Very eventful post. Loved the jailbreak and the images of Anakin cutting down the droids. Thought it was well crafted and really, really enjoy how you take us through each action. I honestly envy your gift  .
Of course our old, dear friend Sidious has decided to make another appearance. I especially enjoyed reading his internal monologue concerning his mistakes with Anakin. I found it curious given his predilection for foresight and his supreme confidence in his machinations. I wonder, in death, has he gotten some measure of 'self evaluation.' This to me would actually make him even more frightening, especially if he learns from his mistakes. Would be an even more formidable adversary.
Nice little Anakin and Padme moments. Seems her well built walls of resistance is crumbling quickly. Will be very curious to see when it all comes down.
Now Anakin going off in the middle of the night to confront the big bad of this realm. I hope he doesn't land himself into more trouble by being impulsive.
Wonderful update, HT. I absolutely can't wait for more. So, get writting! Excellent work.
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"This above all, to thine own self be true." Polonius, Hamlet, Act I, Scene III For the Love of the Queen: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24151408/p1/?0 The Naboo Chronicles: http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/18644312/?162
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Anakins_Kiss
Registered:
Jan '06
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Date Posted:
6/2 6:58am
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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Excellent. I never considered that angle. Padme has a very good reason for keeping her feelings to herself. If she told him anything, it could mean his doom despite his attempts to make things right this time. The burden of keeping something like that to herself would drive her crazy if not cause her agony. Wow.
Great update. Keep it coming!
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VaderLVR64
Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots
Registered:
Feb '04
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Date Posted:
6/3 6:13am
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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Stunning chapter. Absolutely stunning. 
Anakin. This was his bed. He slept here. During their marriage, he’d always come to her bed. Stupidly, she felt as if she’d missed something important.
Those scents were her undoing. She was wreathed in him, surrounded.
Tears trembled unnoticed at the edges of her lashes. Yet, she wasn’t unhappy, just weak. The coverings were tangled around her legs and body. She didn’t attempt to untangle them. If she tried really, really hard, Padmé could imagine that he was here with her; that his legs were tucked between hers, nestling her into the strong, heated curve of his body, his arms around her, his breath caressing her neck. If that were the case, all she had to do was tilt and turn her head to receive his kiss.
She could almost hear the deep rumble of his voice, passion-roughened to new depths, teasing her, Kiss me.
Heavy, liquid heat pooled in her belly. A tear slipped free. More than once during the night the urge to kiss him had swept in out of nowhere. It was those damned heroics of his slipping under her defences, just as they had all those years ago. Watching him fight—defying death right in front of her eyes—had finally ripped her blinders away. A sigh gusted out of her lips, wavering on the air. She was tired of denying it anymore. What was the use? It wasn’t doing her any good. Despite everything, her need for him was growing. She was falling in love again. Anakin was pushing aside every barrier to her heart with an ease that scared her, freeing the well of love she’d already been carrying for him—and always would.
The terrible things he’d done when he’d turned to the dark side no longer helped her hold him at bay. She could see how desperately he wanted to atone and it made her heart ache.
The last day and night had proved that she couldn’t separate the two halves of his life, deluding herself that she only loved one and despised the other. Padmé didn’t pretend to understand how Anakin could be both, or how he could have done the things he had, but she loved him regardless.
That was her weakness.
This really is the reality of their relationship. Perfection!
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If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories.
Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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searth_99
Registered:
Oct '01
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Date Posted:
6/8 6:50am
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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Can't wait for me! The last chapter was great! love the V-A/P interaction!
hope you can put another post up soon!:)
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Helen_Taft
Registered:
Mar '08
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Date Posted:
6/10 6:16am
Subject:
RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 9 updated 5/31*
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Vaders_ Angel – Wow, my first, first post
I loved this chapter! I have to feel bad for poor Padme being so torn, but it's so understandable given what happened last time she allowed herself to love him. Such a predicament, I don't envy her!
Who was that woman Sidious was tormenting? I have a few guesses ..Shmi, perhaps, though I'm likely way off base as I tend to be lol. Great great update, looking forward to more.
I’m so glad it grabbed you and that Padme’s state of mind seems realistic to you. I think it is definitely a case of one burned, twice shy for her when it comes to loving Anakin. Gotta love that angst.
As for the poor woman victim, I’m sorry, hun, but she is just a victim, no more no less. Maybe, I’ve missed out on a plot opportunity there *g*.
powerfulforce – I cannot wait for the next chapter. Padme having to deal with all of her conflicting emotions and when that bomb drops of what Anakin did as Vader, oh man is she going to be even more torn. Please put me on the pm list.
Hey, hun. I’ll happily add you to the list. Padme and Anakin dealing with his past is a little while off yet, but hopefully it will be worth the wait for you. As I said, I have a very specific situation that will bring that out. XX
randomangel22 – Well, that was close...they almost could've died.
Padme you can't fight the feelings you have for Anakin cause they are much deeper than she really thinks.
Great post and thanks for the PM!
You’re welcome! As for Padme, she is coming to that conclusion, but still has some fight left in her, lol. I hope you continue to enjoy the story. Thanks so much for keeping up with it!
Force_Chick – I can remember wondering what Anakin when through after he redeemed himself by saving Luke, at the Galaxy, when he tossed old Palpy over the railing.
I've thoroughly enjoyed everything about this story. It rings very true that both Anakin AND Padme would end up in the "second level" Ani for what he did. Padme for what she didn't do.
The last chapter had my heart racing as Padme realized she loved all of Anakin, the good and the bad.
I would very much like to be added to your PM list for further updates on this exciting story.
Hi, Force_Chick! Welcome to the thread and I’ll happily add you to the pm list. I must admit a large part of the inspiration for this fic came from the very end of ROTJ (the amended one with a young Hayden) and the premise came out from that, and Obi’s comment that Anakin essentially ‘died’ when he turned into Vader. It seemed like a golden opportunity to move A/P to another plane so to speak—with Padme having ‘opted’ to go to the second world rather than being ‘assigned’ there so she wouldn’t have to watch Vader strutting his evil stuff.
I’m so glad that you’re enjoying the story and stopped to comment and let me know.
JediKaren – Good one!
Hi, JediKaren. Thanks for the comment. I’m totally tickled that you’re still enjoying the story!
HandmaidenVeme – Poor Padme...there's no use fighting it. Both being older and wiser it could be different this time around.
LOL I think she’s coming to that conclusion. Hopefully you don’t think that I’m dragging this out *is nervous*. I’ll try not to be spoilery in saying that Padme’s ‘journey’ in this fic is her coming to terms with everything that happened; while Anakin’s is the redemption angle.
ROTSFan – So beautiful. So poignant, I hope they both find their peace together very soon. To his credit, Anakin does seem like he's matured and taken the best of all of his experiences (Vader, Anakin, Obi-Wan) with him.
You certainly write Palps really well. This is some really creepy stuff, and I mean skillfully creepy. This would give Steven King's writing a run for his money
Aww! *Blush* Thanks, hun. I’m so glad that the Padme’ introspection spoke to you, and that the Palpatine scene came off as appropriately creepy. It can be so difficult not to go over-board and make the bad guy seem cartoonish—so I’m chuffed about your comment. Hugs!
FitJedi – Once again so much drama and so much emotion. I love how Anakin put Padme and Freyr before him to ensure they could get out. Even in the afterworld Padme still is fighting her emotions over him. Can't wait for more.
Hi FitJedi! More soon, sorry for the delay. I’m *so* glad that you’re enjoying it. I do see Anakin as a hero, albeit a fallen hero trying to climb back up—something that Padme is seeing for herself. Being reminded of his good qualities is definitely eroding her resistance. Thanks for the comment!
naadi – I loved this chapter,as i scrolled down the page I was hoping it wouldn't end lol.I loved the depth and mixture of all the emotions padme is feeling.I believe this is their second chance and she should take it.Can't wait for more as usual.Keep up the great work!!
Aw! Thank you, hun. I’m can’t say how delighted I am that the story is grabbing you that way. Hopefully I can keep it up. More soon and thanks again!
_ThatJediScum_ -
Just in case you missed it. I responded to you directly after you posted. Thanks once again for commenting!
Nabooqueen2008 – Oh I love your posts! They are long and detailed!!!!! This one is the best! Anakin's focus, Padme finally breaking down. I loved every second of it...it's almost like I can see it like in a movie or something. Great! Keep it coming! ~nabooqueen~
Hugs you! LOL I worry that my posts are too long and make people’s eyes cross. I’m really relieved that’s not the case *g* This is a sort of journey fic for both Anakin and Padme and like any journey there are ups and downs, sidetrips and stumbles. I’m so glad that you’re enjoying it and thank you for keeping up with it. X
Lisbev – OMG! How do you do it? Every chapter is so wonderful!
I love your characterization of A & P. Anakin’s constant struggle to keep the dark urges at bay & Padmé’s struggle not to give into her feelings. You convey their tumultuous emotions so beautifully. Hopefully they’ll eventually get a chance at happiness.
So, Sir Creepster Sidious has a personal vendetta against Mr. Cuteness … Yikes! I’m dying to find out who the poor person being tortured is.
*Blush* Thank you, Lisbev! Your comments made my week! I’m tickled that everything is gelling for you as a reader. Being a writer yourself, you’ll know how much it means to know that the story you’re trying to craft is working out for your readers. Thank you again so much!
Slow_dawn – Lovely update! As always your A/P characterization is great. Your Palpatine was quite creepy as well.
This is a fantastic story!
Hi, slow_dawn! Characterisation is so important and I’m chuffed that you feel that I’ve written them in-character. It’s funny, but a lot of the time it is easier to get the bad guys right than the good guys—go figure! Thank you so much for the comments on the story so far! LOL XX
KELIA – she loved him regardless.
That was her weakness.
And her strength, even if she's not ready to admit it yet.
You captured Palpatine perfectly
*shudders*
Great update
Hi KELIA! You know, your comment reminded me of one of the things that I find a little topsy-turvy in the Swverse—that love is a weakness and not a strength. I suppose it is a part of our culture to believe that love and other strong (associated) emotions push us to do the extraordinary: while in the SWverse they (can) push them to evil. It’s a challenge to marry those two opposing views into a satisfying story. Hopefully I’m up to it *gulp*
Anyway, I’m so glad that you’re still enjoying the story and thanks bunches for the support. X
JediMasterRev – My apologies for not posting sooner, but was stuck all weekend in marriage classes. Gotta love them. Had to ome back to work in order to 'play.'
Very eventful post. Loved the jailbreak and the images of Anakin cutting down the droids. Thought it was well crafted and really, really enjoy how you take us through each action. I honestly envy your gift.
Of course our old, dear friend Sidious has decided to make another appearance. I especially enjoyed reading his internal monologue concerning his mistakes with Anakin. I found it curious given his predilection for foresight and his supreme confidence in his machinations. I wonder, in death, has he gotten some measure of 'self evaluation.' This to me would actually make him even more frightening, especially if he learns from his mistakes. Would be an even more formidable adversary.
Nice little Anakin and Padme moments. Seems her well built walls of resistance is crumbling quickly. Will be very curious to see when it all comes down.
Now Anakin going off in the middle of the night to confront the big bad of this realm. I hope he doesn't land himself into more trouble by being impulsive.
Wonderful update, HT. I absolutely can't wait for more. So, get writting! Excellent work.
No need to apologise, Rev. Hugs! RL has a way of sticking its nose into fun *g*
I do love to write action and I think that comes out when I’m writing. I’m actiongal in everything. You couldn’t pay me to watch a girly movie, while I eat up an action flick. As for Sidious, I definitely think that having his supreme confidence that Vader could never be turned from the darkside found to be in error would make him look at his perceptions of his apprentice. That monologue was more him accepting his own role in letting that happen, and moving on to ways and means of recovering his position. What I always find creepy about Palpatine was his ability to ‘roll with the punches’. He always seemed to be able to turn a loss into a win, somehow. *shudders*
More soon, hun, and thanks as always for the wonderful review!
Anakins_Kiss – Excellent. I never considered that angle. Padme has a very good reason for keeping her feelings to herself. If she told him anything, it could mean his doom despite his attempts to make things right this time. The burden of keeping something like that to herself would drive her crazy if not cause her agony. Wow. Great update. Keep it coming!
Hey there *waves* Padme is definitely torn. She wouldn’t be human if she didn’t have a few weak moments were longing overcomes her worries—which gives some nice moments to break up the action, lol (at least, I hope so). The onus is on Anakin to make those worries seem more and more remote. Thanks for the comment! More soon!
VaderLVR64 – Stunning chapter. Absolutely stunning. This really is the reality of their relationship. Perfection!
Thanks, VaderLVR64! I’m chuffed that the story is still grabbing you and keeping you hooked *g*
Searth_99 – Can't wait for me! The last chapter was great! love the V-A/P interaction! hope you can put another post up soon!:)
Hugs! More soon. Chapter ten is almost finished. Just a few tweaks and then I should be able to post. Thanks so much for keeping up with this and commenting! It really does make all the difference knowing that folks are enjoying the story. XX
PM LIST
ROTSfan
KELIA
HandmaidenVeme
VaderLVR64
Anakin_Panda
Anakins_Kiss
JediMasterRev
nabooqueen2008
slow_dawn
FitJedi
randomangel22
Darthvaderette
BoutousaiCV
naadi
JediKaren
DarthGimpy
Vaders_Angel
Lizbev
Sabriel_Orion
praiseofshadows
powerfulforce
Force_Chick
If I’ve forgotten anyone, please do let me know. Thanks to everyone who commented and making this story such a delight to write! I should be putting up a new post today—barring RL chucking a fit and getting in the way. *fingers crossed*
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