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Author	Topic: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) Chapter 16 - *10/05
DarthVaderette Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 4/10 8:14am Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 3 UPDATED 4/9*
	Hi, Can you PM me with updates? I like the story. Thanks -----signature----- SW Fan since '77 This is where the fun begins God Bless America
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BattousaiCV Registered: May '07	Date Posted: 4/10 8:48am Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 3 UPDATED 4/9*
	Great action. I'd like to be on the PM list too please. -----signature----- http://www.myspace.com/professorwashu http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=BattousaiCV
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slow_dawn Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 4/14 10:00pm Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 3 UPDATED 4/9*
	Great update! I loved the action scenes. They were really well done. I also enjoy your characterization of Anakin. Can't wait for the next update. -----signature----- O, Life! That persistent struggle which rises slowly with with the warmth of dawn but fades quickly in the twilight of dusk! The Tragedy of Anakin Skywalker??? The Vig Challenge Board - http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/28176650/p1
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searth_99 Registered: Oct '01	Date Posted: 4/15 11:54am Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 3 UPDATED 4/9*
	wow so good.. especially can't wait for the next chapter where A/P reunite! so exciting! hope you can post soon! pretty please!
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Helen_Taft Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 4/15 2:59pm Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 3 UPDATED 4/9* - Date Edited: 4/16 12:33am (2 edits total) Edited By: Helen_Taft
	FitJedi – Ugh I can't believe you left it there, with her staring at him through the rain!! Please add me to the pm list, I must know what happens next, Aw! Sorry for the evil cliffhanger, lol. I’ve added you to the pm list. Welcome! I’m delighted you’re enjoying it. New post soon. randomangel22 – I just found this story and must this is very refreshing and original! Please add me to your PM list! Thank you. I’m tickled you’re enjoyed it. Pm list is updated. HandmaidenVeme – Wow,I don't even know where to begin! That last update was amazing and it was nice to see one of my favorite demons again he seems very at home there. Yay! I’m so glad you’re a Lorne lover like me. I actually got into Angel through Lorne rather than the sexy vamp himself. I’m so, so pleased you’re still enjoying the story. I’m having great fun writing it. Thanks for the response, hun! nabooqueen2008 – PLEASE POST FAST!!!!! I'm just dying for an update. You left us standing there in the rain. Huge clifee!!!! That was amazing though, so so cool! I especially enjoyed feeling Anakin's emotions and his thoughts. Great post, keep it up! Thank you! What a lovely reply, lol. I’m so sorry for leaving you hanging. More is imminent, I promise. No dying on me g KELIA – AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH! That was one of the most evil cliffies I have ever read! Coming face-to-face with one of his victims was so much worse than the dreams and memories That was very poignant. I can only imagine the emotions Anakin went through...and none of them pleasant. Great update Ack! I do have a knack for evil cliffhangers sheepish grin I’ll try and make them less trying in the future, lol. Thanks for the reply, hun. VaderLVR64 – Whoa! Incredible. Fast still wasn’t fast enough. He couldn’t save them all. But he wanted to. That desire alone was a revelation; an epiphany. Most of these people did not have the means to fight back and would be doomed to a fate that was literally worse than death. He was supposed to help. That was what Obi-wan wanted, he knew it now. The furious combat had cleared his mind of fear and uncertainty. The purpose also gave him additional strength. Finally the battering flow began to slow to a trickle. Slicing the last raider in two at the waist, Anakin pounded down the dark, wet street towards the screaming. He was going to find the protector in himself again or die trying. Sheer necessity would mean it had to be the former. I loved the whole chapter, but that part was especially powerful for me. Thanks! I loved writing that scene. I’m an actiongal at heart! hugs Thanks again for all of your help with checking that I wasn’t breaking any rules. This is my first PG rated fic, so I was feeling a little nervous about what would be okay. JediMasterRev – I concur with the others, that was quite the evil cliffe. Excellent update! Where to start... The fight scenes were absolutely amazing. I loved how you took us through each action and slice. You even made us 'smell' the battle as I felt I was right there. Your imagery is impressive--from the fighter chase scene to the lightsaber battle, each seemed like I was 'watching' it rather than reading it. I am especially enjoying your characterization of Anakin. He seems, to me anyway, much more pragmatic in comparison to canon. While he still does feel things very deeply, his past experiences have give him a much more keen perspective as he doesn't appear to be so swayed by emotion as in his first life. Poor Padme. Looks like she will have a lot to contend with now that Anakin has arrived and the Premier has detected a weakness. Amazing how history can repeat itself. Excellent work, as always. Can't wait for the next update! Thanks, hun. Coming from you your reply is a huge compliment. I do love to watch/read/write action scenes and I think that helps, lol. Also, I’m really glad you’ve noticed the differences in Anakin. He isn’t a 23 year-old anymore and he has experiences that have shaped him that were never seen in canon. I’m really chuffed that my interpretations of how those changes might come out in a contrite Anakin. There’s more on Padmé in the next chapter; which I hope you’ll also like. Thanks again for the lovely comments. Anakins_kiss – Oh my goodness. Its the attack of the cliffee. NOOOOO! Great update. Waiting for more. More soon! Hopefully it’ll meet your expectations. g Darthvaderette – Hi, Can you PM me with updates? I like the story. Thanks Pm list is updated. Welcome! BoutousaiCV – Great action. I'd like to be on the PM list too please. Pm list is updated. Welcome! I hope you continue to enjoy. slow_dawn – Great update! I loved the action scenes. They were really well done. I also enjoy your characterization of Anakin. Can't wait for the next update. Thanks! I’m chuffed you think so. Next update is very, very soon. Searth_99 – wow so good. especially can't wait for the next chapter where A/P reunite! so exciting! hope you can post soon! pretty please! LOL. It’s written and ready to be posted. Thanks for the lovely comment! PM LIST ROTSfan KELIA HandmaidenVeme VaderLVR64 Anakin_Panda Anakins_Kiss JediMasterRev nabooqueen2008 slow_dawn FitJedi randomangel22 Darthvaderette BoutousaiCV If I’ve forgotten anyone, please do let me know! ACK! Sorry, KELIA. I somehow managed to PM you twice. D'oh! -----signature----- Purgatory (A/P AU) - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28225076/ I Asked An Angel If I Could Fly (SPN) - http://boards.theforce.net/non_star_wars_fan_fiction/b10808/28873939/p1/?0
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Helen_Taft Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 4/15 3:01pm Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 3 UPDATED 4/9* - Date Edited: 5/9 2:26pm (3 edits total) Edited By: Helen_Taft
	NOTES Thanks once again to YellowDart for the fabulous job she does of beta. Seriously, she made a huge difference to the A/P scene and made me go back over it again, think harder, and add more in. hugs her. Also, thanks and hugs to NikeJ for going over it too. Still, I'm really nervous and biting my nails over this one. Hides Just to remind again that I’ve drafted in an old friend from another fandom (Lorne from Angel) to act as an extra—there is no infringement intended, it’s just fanfic etc etc g. Author responses are in the post above. Thanks to everyone for replying! Chapter Four The silence dragged. The rain drenched. Movement at the top of the gulley behind them signalled the arrival of more people. A crowd was gathering; darker silhouettes against the inky night sky, watching, perched on mountains of discarded droid and speeder parts. Hearing Anakin murmuring Padmé’s name, the Wookiee gave a rumbling growl that sounded half wondering and half concerned. “It’s alright, Freyrr,” she reassured the Wookiee. The sound of her voice sent a shiver through Anakin. The shuttle’s lights wove a halo around Padmé. She looked the same, he thought, wonderingly. He felt dizzy. It was stunning to realise he’d been waiting for this—almost as if a part of him had been holding his breath until he saw her. His wife. His beautiful Padmé. The long, hooded cloak hid her body, but not her face. It might have been only yesterday that she ran into his arms on Mustafar. Staring, mesmerised, he didn’t know how he managed to rise to his feet with every muscle locked tight and quivering. His heart was racing. Pure need thrummed under his skin. He wanted to go to her and touch—just touch—cup her face in his hands and feel again the warmth of her skin under his fingers. He let out a shuddering breath as memory intruded. Let her go, Anakin Obi-Wan’s demand echoed in his ear, bringing with it the images from that same fateful day. Against his will, the scene rushed forward a few moments to Padmé lying crumpled on the floor of the lava moon’s landing bay. His last sight of her…until now. The thought brought with it a savage spasm of pain and crushing regret. He’d used the Force against her, hurting her. Shame writhed in his gut. With a sinking feeling, he wondered if she was remembering their last meeting too. “Anakin,” she greeted him in turn, composedly, “or, should I say, Lord Vader?” Hearing her use that name was a slap to the face. He felt the blow right down to his core. “I’m not Vader.” It came out harsher than he’d intended. He had to swallow before he could continue, more calmly. “Not anymore. I’m Anakin again.” “Very wise,” she said stiffly. “I doubt that using the name Vader would gain you any friends here.” She wasn’t really looking at him—not at him—but at a spot over his left shoulder; while he couldn’t look away from her face. If it wasn’t for the fact that Anakin could feel her agitation through the Force, he might believe she felt nothing. Pain clawed deeper, squeezing his insides. The insinuation that he was merely protecting himself was another nerve-strike. “I’m aware of that, but that’s not why—.” She cut him off. “I’m sure you have your reasons, but that’s not why I’m here.” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know why she was there, just that she was there. “It’s good to see you,” he said softly, thinking of how often over the last few days he’d tormented himself with dreams of somehow going back in time and changing everything. He hadn’t dared imagine this meeting, though, fearing it. Were there any words in any of the millions of languages of the galaxy that would serve as an apology for what he’d done? “Padmé…” he took a thoughtless step towards her, pleading. As easily as that her composure cracked. She took a jerky, instinctive step back, snapping, “Don’t say my name like that.” Anakin froze. It was as if a lever had pulled and the floodgate was lifted. Through the flow of the Force the maelstrom of her emotions battered at him. There were so many of them he could barely tell them apart; except for one—fear. Between them, and rising off her haunches, the Wookiee growled, warningly. Ranged meters behind him, the crowd swelled further, silent, watchful, curious. He was oblivious to anyone but her. “Padmé,” he said again, ignoring the two-and-a-half-meter-tall wall of walking, furry female. He needed Padmé to understand. “I’m not here to frighten you—” “Don’t. Just don’t.” Warding him off with an upheld hand, her chest gave one guttering jerk as she too sucked in a breath, struggling to stay in control. Now that she was finally looking at him properly, he saw what he’d just sensed. The icy composure had been a mere façade. There was a storm of emotion swirling in her eyes with bright fear shining the strongest—the same liquid brown eyes that had once looked at him with a devotion to match his own. She truly feared him! That knowledge silenced him utterly. The pain tripled, turning into a devastating avalanche. He couldn’t move, locked in place while his emotions got the better of his control. Neither noticed the quake-like disturbance affecting a nearby mound of broken mechno-gear parts, sending components slipping and sliding. The Wookiee, obviously uneasy, took up a position much closer to Padmé, laying a thickly furred hand on one cloaked shoulder. The offer of support and strength worked. Anakin saw Padmé’s spine stiffen. “I only came to find out why you’re here. Nothing else.” she told him, bluntly, lifting her chin, defying her own fear. They both knew she was asking why he hadn’t gone straight down to the third world. Did she wish he had? Anakin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The images of his last few moments played clearly in his mind. He tried to hold back any emotion, but he knew he wasn’t succeeding. “Luke,” he told her. “He . . . he saved me.” Her eyes grew wide with horror. “Luke?” she breathed. “You found Luke?” Even in the darkness, he could see that she’d paled to stark white and the sheen of tears now filled her eyes. How he longed to comfort her, but she’d made it clear that he no longer had that right. “He found me – he knew that there was still good in me.” Pausing for a moment, he tried to collect his thoughts. “And when Palpatine tried to kill Luke, I couldn’t let him do it.” His voice was stilted, shattered, “I killed Palpatine . . . and myself in the process. Obi-Wan was waiting for me on the other side. He sent me here.” It seemed like she didn’t hear a word he said. “Luke,” she whispered, “oh, Luke, I tried to protect you from your father.” “He knows,” Anakin whispered, agonised. “They both know. Obi-Wan hid them well. For years I believed they’d died with you.” “The deception was necessary to keep them safe from you!” she reminded him bitterly. Anakin felt like he had been skewered through the heart with a lightsaber. It was getting harder to breathe. He wanted to turn away, pace and protect himself, but he made himself look into her teary eyes. He understood her fear and loathed himself more than ever before. “Luke found me, Padmé. They both did. They grew up to be wonderful people—” “—You got to see them,” she said in a shattered voice. She whirled away and paced; in pain. “I didn’t. I didn’t even get to hold them, or watch my children grow up.” When she turned back, he saw that her face had lost all semblance of calm. She was hugging herself, holding herself in. “Padmé . . . I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am.” He didn’t have words to express his torrent of regret. He settled for the only comfort he could offer. “They’re fine. They’re both fine. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.” After a moment, Padmé nodded again. He watched her pull herself together and clenched his fists to still yet another impulse to go to her. She was strong. She’d always been strong. It’d been one of the things he’d loved about her. As if to prove it, she pinned him with a hard, glittering gaze. “Fine. You’ve told me how you came to be here, but you still haven’t explained your intentions now that you are here.” “You still consider me such a monster?” Anakin asked softly, despairing. More tears shimmered on her lashes. “Just answer the question.” “Obi-Wan believes that I can redeem myself. I want to try.” To hide his own wet eyes, he turned away, looking at the growing gaggle of ragtag humans and non-human sentients rather than Padmé. Despite the distance, he could sense the acrid fear still coming off them in suffocating waves. “I want to help,” he finished. Behind him, her eyes flashed hot. “Like you wanted to help at the peak of the Clone Wars?” she hissed. “Like you want to take over, wrest control, bringing supposed peace by meting out punishment and withdrawing freedom? Tell me,” she asked, her voice hard, “is killing at will still your idea of helping?” Distressed that she’d think that—know enough about him to say such things—Anakin bowed his head, closing his burning eyes and keeping his face averted so she wouldn’t see his suffering. “No.” He didn’t know what else to say. “No—nothing like that.” “Good, because we already have someone like that and one is more than enough.” Exhaustion suddenly seemed to drag at her, turning her even paler. “I don’t know why I bothered to come here.” She gave a helpless gesture. “I can only hope that you mean what you say. Words from you are no guarantee.” He heard the crunch of her steps on the gravel. She was just going to walk away, he realised dully. Unable to stop himself, Anakin swung back to face her and the words were torn from him, “I still love you, Padmé. That will never change.” Padmé froze with her back to him. When she did turn to face him again her expression was so stark that Anakin braced himself for a body-blow. “And, I did and still do love the man you once were before Palpatine twisted you.” she said softly, meaning no comfort and he took none. She wasn’t finished. “As a child, I was taught that absolute power corrupts absolutely.” She gave a jerky wave of her hand. “Stupidly, I dismissed it as a platitude. I wouldn’t have done if I’d realised in time just how much that saying applied to you—” her voice thickened, “—to the young padawan who’d been sent to protect me on my home world.” Thunder rolled overhead. The rain got heavier, running in rivulets down his face. “I didn’t have absolute power.” Padmé shook her head impatiently. “It was within your grasp and we all knew it. You would have been a brave, heroic man without being force-sensitive, but with it you went on to become a murdering tyrant.” Her beautiful face turned granite hard. “I’ve had plenty of time to think about that, what it did to you, to us—and learn to hate it.” The water to his right rippled under an unseen force as Anakin fought himself and won, reigning in his despair enough to speak. Still, his voice was raw. “And do you hate me, Padmé? Do you wish that love for our son hadn’t saved me?” From back near the crowd, Anakin heard his name being called and ignored it. Here in the wet, the dark and the mud, he was waiting, poised on a chasm of agony. For the first time Padmé’s face softened under the hood of her cloak. “No. I’m glad that you and Luke saved each other—for both your sakes. I’m proud of him, and I wish you well.” Their gazes locked and he felt a frisson pass down his spine. A sad smile trembled on her lips. “Good luck with your redemption, Anakin.” The brief, barely-there smile vanished and then she was abruptly solemn again. “For all of our sakes.” With that Anakin had to be content, because this time she didn’t hesitate to walk away. The doors of the shuttle swallowed her along with Freyrr the Wookiee. Moments later, he watched through a blur of intermingled tears and rain as the pristine white shuttle rose up with a whine of repulsorlift engines. It occurred to him that he was seeing the best part of his existence drift inexorably away from him, not wanting to be near him. The howl inside his mind worked up to fever-pitch, blanking out every other thought and letting blessed numbness lead from the top of his head down. o~o~o Padmé deliberately hadn’t brought a pilot. She’d wanted no witnesses to hear what might be said except for Freyrr. Meaning, no matter what, she had to hold it together enough to fly them back. She did it by sheer dint of will. South East Central wasn’t the closest transport hub to where she lived, but it was only a sky-track distant. When she got home, then she could fall apart. He looked the same! How could he look the same? No! She mustn’t think about him, she told herself, fiercely, blinking back the blur of tears. Not yet. Thankfully the landing bay and terminal were deserted except for essential staff; most of whom were droids undertaking cleaning or maintenance tasks. The transparisteel-encased sky-track was similarly quiet. The efficiently humming, effortless glide of the floor bearing her along was soothing. Outside the clear bubble, the night-time cityscape unfolded above and below. Using the track was like riding along a silvery ribbon between huge spires and towers winking with star-bright lights. The contrast between the core and the outer rim of the city had never been greater—tranquillity in one and suffering in the other. There would have been more suffering if Anakin hadn’t intervened. The shimmer of tears in his eyes had arrowed straight to her heart. Gods! She couldn’t go through this again. How could one man cause such a conflict between good and evil? He’d been one and then turned to the other. What was he now? She’d loved him so much. Just the memory of how much hurt. Her hand shook on the cool hand-rail. The sky-lock ahead slid apart. A pair of palace guards appeared on the opposite track, laughing and joking with a female med-tech. The trio looked pleased to have finished their duty shift. Recognising her, the guards inclined their heads respectfully and eyed Freyrr apprehensively as they passed. It was all she could do to return the gesture. She did, however, manage to get a grip on her emotions by pushing Anakin out again. Nearly there. Getting off the sky-track at Temple Arbor, they found the pedestrian walkways busier. The core never really slept. In certain sections, the bars and restaurants didn’t close until dawn. That wasn’t the case here though. The nearby Temple of Atonement occupied a whole city block, dominating the neighbourhood. The smell of incense coupled with low chanting heralded the arrival of a group of temple devotees. As usual they were holding placards and swinging their hand-held burners. Their white cowls were pristine, and the eight humans walked in a tight, exclusive circle to avoid contamination. Padmé and Freyrr let them pass before proceeding to their own destination; the Transvision Tower. City administrators and elected officials, such as Padmé, were quartered in spacious units at the top of the one-hundred and forty level building. The sky-track took them directly to level ninety nine. A short turbolift ride later they were home. The reception room was alive with plants and shrubs in deep pots; a concession to Freyrr’s preferred habitat. Padmé was trembling before the turbolift finished opening its doors. Excusing herself from a vocally concerned Freyrr, she by-passed the courteous enquiries of her in-service droid and all but ran for her bedroom. The doors opened and then shut behind her automatically. She didn’t make it to the bed, but sank to her knees on the lush rug before the bed. The first sob tore from her throat as her fingers dug into the woven pile. Her head bowed under the weight of her anguish. He looked the same. He sounded the same. He’d called her name in that husky voice with his heart in his eyes. She’d hurt him. She’d seen his tears. She’d left him there, alone. “I still love you, Padmé. That will never change.” Oh, how she’d loved him. Despite knowing they mustn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t. In the end, she just couldn’t live without him—literally. She’d dedicated her mind and ambition to serving other people, but after a brief fight alive with denial, her heart and soul had belonged to him. He’d been her fearless, fierce warrior. The touch of his skin on hers had brought a song to her heart, his strength, his love, a balm against the night. She’d lived only a half life when he was away, the Senator coming to the fore and the woman retreating until his return. She’d thought their love made them stronger. How wrong she’d been. Anakin’s love for her had destroyed him. His fear for her had cost millions their lives. Hugging herself, Padmé rocked back and forth on her knees, keening her sobs to muffle them. She couldn’t muffle her thoughts, though. Today had proven something to Padmé. It was both unnatural and dreadful to fear someone you love. She thought she’d been prepared by seeing him on the security holo, but gods! She’d been shockingly wrong. A projected image was nothing to seeing Anakin, alive and in the flesh. The shock of it had stolen her breath. He’d been trying to save an old man, she remembered now. That fact in itself had momentarily blanked her mind. Witnessing that last, furious struggle had wiped her prepared speech right out of her head. They’d landed in time to hear his bellow of fury at failing. Dumbstruck, mesmerised, she’d sat in the pilot seat watching him drag the rest of the body out of the water. Tears had burned her eyes when he’d flopped to the side; exhausted, defeated, and so very much the man she’d loved that it had hurt to look. She couldn’t remember getting out of the seat, or walking to the hatch. All she could recall was standing at the top of the shuttle’s ramp, staring at his limp, sodden figure through the dark, driving rain. It had been like standing in a wind tunnel of memories—they’d hurtled through her as clear as if they’d happened only days ago—all the more painful because of that. Their first meeting after ten years, obliterating her image of him as a sweet little boy and replacing it with the powerful, handsome man he’d become. The thrilling power of a head-strong padawan with love in his blue eyes. A nineteen-year-old’s gentle wooing of her on Naboo. Almost losing him, marrying him, loving him—then loss, then fear, then death. All the things she’d fought so hard to forget after he’d let himself become a monster. Yet, despite the terrible things he’d done, in that moment all she’d wanted to do was run into his arms, bury her face in the hollow where his neck met his shoulder and just breath in the scent of warm, strong, vital male—Anakin’s scent. She’d missed it so much! But she hadn’t run to him. Her legs had been shaking so hard she hadn’t been able to move so much as a step once he’d seen her. She’d been completely frozen—until he’d reached for her, calling her name with a pained crack in his husky voice. It had been a lance to the heart. One single thought only had crystallised; she couldn’t go through what she’d gone through before ever again. She had to keep her distance. Anger had come to her rescue too. Until now. Tomorrow she would be strong again. Tonight, she had to let it out. Just tonight. o~o~o Out of nowhere a cloak had been thrown over him as Anakin walked through the staring crowd. Whispers hissed all around, only to sputter and die as humans and non-humans alike parted for the stranger in their midst to pass through. Curiosity and wariness pressed in on Anakin from all sides. There was fear here too. More fear of him. He was glad of the concealing cloak and the continuing numbness. He was just clearing the edge of the crowd when Sal limped up to him, grinning. “Well! If it isn’t the one-man army himself. I’ve been looking for you. Hey, I saw you down there with the pretty councillor—” Stopping dead, Anakin shook his head. “I need to be alone now,” he said bluntly, not caring if he caused offense. Peering closely at his face, Sal must have seen something raw, because he winced. “Sure. You’ve got a look on your face I’ve seen a time or two before in the mirror.” Anakin went to walk past him. Sal grabbed his arm. “Listen, I’ll be going back to Caritas. If you decide you want drown your sorrows instead of brood, come find me there.” Anakin pulled free. “I’ll bear that in mind.” By the time he’d worked his way out from underneath the maze of pipes dropping down from the overhead recycling plant, his strides were getting longer. At the same junction where Anakin had saved the Twi’lek, he took a right. He didn’t care where he ended up. He was walking with no destination in mind. At first he simply kept his mind blank, retreating. Eventually though, thought trickled back. Anger came to his rescue. Even self-directed fury was better than despair. His time as Vader had taught him that. Under the cloak’s hood, his face became hard and set, in tandem with his thoughts. What had he expected? he asked himself viciously. Sweet smiles and a loving reunion with the wife he’d all but killed while their children still slept in her womb? He should have been better prepared, he berated himself. Where was the vaunted strategist he’d once been? He’d run campaigns in every inch of space, across thousands of worlds, but come apart when faced with Padmé. Anakin had always been better with actions than words, but still he’d done a pathetic job of convincing her that he meant to honour this offer of redemption—that he would do everything in his power to make up for the past. The lightsaber clipped to his belt seemed to burn his thigh, a reminder of what he had been, and still was, capable of. She might not know in detail all that Darth Vader had done since her death, but she knew enough to know that he’d been a being consumed by the need to crush all opposition, subdue and control—killing at will. Just as she’d accused him. If he still needed some convincing that part of his life was over; why was it so surprising that Padmé was doubtful? He hadn’t been prepared for the meeting. On the positive side, at least it was over, Anakin thought, and let go of the anger, feeling it drain. In the void, pain welled up again, but it was softer and more manageable. He would always love her, he hadn’t lied about that. Even becoming Vader hadn’t changed that simple fact—but if he had to accept that she could no longer love him; then he’d somehow, someway find a way to live with it. She’d suffered enough at his hands. He refused to inflict more. No-one knew better than he that he didn’t deserve love. It was time to stop dreaming and start doing. It was all he’d ever been consistently good at; as a Jedi or a Sith. As if to reinforce this simple truth, Anakin became aware of his surroundings now that his emotions were banked. Up and down the street, the carnage; some of which he’d wrought, was being dragged onto grisly piles and set on fire. Smoke plumed and billowed. The stench was atrocious. Here and there, lost looking figures were wandering around aimlessly, calling plaintively for loved ones. Over it all, the sounds of weeping soared over the crackle of the flames. He didn’t need to be told that more of the same was spread all over the hundred of kilometres of outer rim city; he could feel it. Anger, despair, grief and misery were all funnelled through the Force for him to receive as he stood in the midst of the aftermath. His battle had covered only a fraction of it. Distance meant nothing, Anakin could hear the wails of the bereaved; even feel the quaking of the hopelessly terrorised. On Coruscant, the areas of the city affected would be crawling with disaster containment agents, counsellors and security droids. Here there were just survivors. Seeing it, feeling it, the compassion he’d looked for on the first day in the processing centre rose up inside him. That emotion; which he’d believed dead in him, added to his new resolve, was like a lifeline. If redemption was possible for him, he knew he wasn’t going to find it on his knees in some temple. Obi-Wan had been right, he had to earn it. And, perhaps in doing so, he’d earn Padmé’s forgiveness too. He couldn’t hope for more. It was the only bolster he had. Anakin stopped a beefy male with clumps of matted black hair trailing down to his waist. “How many did the Narzgh get?” he asked. The man looked him up and down, squinting suspiciously. “You new?” “Yes. Why?” “It’s a dumb question.” Anakin kept his patience. “Answer it anyway.” The man shrugged. “We don’t know—a couple’a thousand maybe. It’s a big place full of a labyrinth of streets and alleys, with more of them underground. They never count us out here on the rim. It’s not good politics to let the number-crunchers spill the beans on just how bad it is here.” Anakin digested that, and realised that he needed to know a lot more about the set up in Junga Roth. Making an off-the-cuff decision, he thanked the man and turned his steps back the way he’d come. Unerringly, he found his way back to the dingy back street housing the club. A neon, blinking green sign advertising Caritas II was hung over the closed door. It looked closed, but Anakin could sense the activity hidden within. Lifting his hand, he rapped his knuckles on the door, hard. He had to knock twice more before he caught the approach of someone coming up the interior stairs. Clamping locks disengaged and then a face appeared. Despite the green skin, it wasn’t Lorne. He noted large, round eyes and a long snout. It was a Rodian. Anakin couldn’t tell the gender because it wore a baggy grey smock. “What do you want,” asked the Rodian in Basic. “We’re closed.” “I need to see Lorne,” Anakin said. “I think you’ll find he’s expecting me.” “Wait here.” Grumbling in its own language, the Rodian disappeared. When the Rodian came back a moment later, it jerked its snout down the stairs in mute invitation. The locks were reengaged behind Anakin as he went down the stairs and pushed through the bottom doors leading to the bar. The first thing he noticed was that it was all but empty. The second was that the club hadn’t fared too well from the panicked mass exodus of earlier on in the night. The lights were on low. Still, the bar looked forlorn in the semi gloom. Almost everywhere tables had been overthrown and chairs broken in the mad dash. Plasto cups littered every surface. The discarded microphone was the only thing on the stage. Some things were the same though. Sal was sat slumped at the bar. Lorne stood behind it. Sal saluted him with his cup and used his boot to scrape back the stool next to him. “Glad you could make it.” Anakin lowered the hood and took the proffered stool, noticing as he did that Lorne’s smile was strangely resigned. Seeing that Anakin had caught the expression, the Pylean’s smile turned into a grimace. “What’s your poison, cuteness?” He gestured with his own tall plasto cup, topped with a bizarre, brightly coloured paper decoration. “Sorry, I’m all out of O2. Oh wait, wait, I forgot. You’re a different type of hunk of hero sandwich. Not so much of the liquid lunch, huh. Good for you.” “I’m not a hero.” “Pfft! Like I haven’t heard that before.” Red eyes rolled, comically. “Do you guys get a script, because if you do get another one—this one’s old hat, scarf and gloves. Next you’ll be telling me all the wrongs you’ve been doing in the world …” Lorne paused, seeing Anakin’s face freeze, “… And, oookay, I can see by your face not to go there.” There was an awkward pause. To break it and change the subject Anakin asked for something that wasn’t potentially lethal. “Coming up in two ticks.” “So,” said Sal, eyeing him, “did you get a chance to find a medic? You look a little rough.” “I’m fine,” Anakin lied. “You don’t look fine to me, kid.” At that, Anakin quirked an ironic brow. “Look who’s talking.” “Good point.” Downing his drink, Sal signalled for another one and asked, “Alright. Now we’ve got the ‘you’re okay and I’m okay’ crap out of the way. Tell me what’s with the blue flashing blade?” Leaning his elbows on the bar, Anakin sighed and scrubbed his face, feeling like he’d had a bucket load of Qatar sand thrown in his eyes. “It’s called a lightsaber. I’ve been trained to use one and I prefer them over a blaster.” “I knew that, actually.” Sal turned in his seat to look at him fully. “The last I heard though only the Jedi used them—before they got wiped out.” Accepting the tall, cool cup handed him by Lorne, Anakin thought of Luke, his son. “You shouldn’t believe everything you hear. The Jedi are making a comeback.” His face betrayed no reaction while inside he felt a twist of regret in his gut. Not regret that he’d failed to exterminate every remnant of the Order, but that he’d come so very close to doing so. To give himself something to do, Anakin sipped his drink and found it refreshingly fruity. “Nice,” he said to Lorne with a nod of thanks. Lorne accepted the compliment with a gracious inclination of his head. “So, you’re a Jedi? How about doing a stranger a favour and telling me what that is. I’m not exactly from around this neck of the woods—” he gave another grimace, this time self-directed “—hell, even the big toe for that matter. I just took a wrong turn somewhere back by Pluto and ended up in this Garden of Eden—snakes included.” “I’m not a Jedi,” said Anakin, shortly. He didn’t deserve the title and he wasn’t sure he’d want it anyway. To forestall any further questions, he said to Lorne, “But I do need a room, and some information.” “What about that unit above mine,” suggested Sal to Lorne. “The one that freakin’ noisy Nandark moved out of last week.” “That would be died, not moved,” he was caustically corrected. If possible, the Pylean looked even more resigned than when Anakin had walked in. “Alright. A room I can do. It ain’t the Ritz—not that you’d know what that is—but if you want it, then consider it yours.” The green face brightened as a thought occurred to him. “In fact, when words get around about tonight, having you around will probably be good for business.” The grin dimmed; a warning finger wagged. “Just don’t go getting involved with any lawyers, y’hear?” “I don’t like lawyers,” Anakin assured him. “No, neither do I,” sighed Lorne. “And don’t ask me why. It’s too painful.” “What information were you after?” Sal interjected, dark eyes curious in the pitted face. “Everything you can tell me about Roth, who’s running things, and the Narzgh.” Lorne and Sal shared a glance. “Yeesh! You don’t want much do you?” o~o~o Councillors Oboné and Throm were watching the relay of the security holorecording with open mouths. They were in Padmé’s reception room with the projection playing out in the space between matching pairs of emerald green couches. The images were incredibly life-like, if in miniature. On the deeply cushioned seat opposite, Padmé sat with her hands in her lap and waited for them to finish the viewing. Mostly she didn’t watch, but every now and then her eyes would stray to Anakin’s fiercely fighting figure. Lyonides had been right, she thought, aiming for dispassionate. It really was a magnificent display. The recordings cut out when Anakin left the main streets and headed for the recycling plant on the very edge of the city. Thankfully, Security Minister Natar had neglected to install security cams in that particular area. Throm recovered first. He looked between the two women, asking, “Do we know who this man is?” “I don’t know him,” said Oboné, shaking her turbaned head, still stunned. “Is he new?” “He is new,” confirmed Padmé. “His name is Anakin Skywalker.” “Do we know anything else about him?” asked Oboné. “Where he comes from? What he did before death?” “Some, but only the basic details taken at processing. They don’t tell us much.” Padmé shrugged, hating the lie, but she’d made her decision the night before. She would not unmask Anakin as Darth Vader, or reveal that he was her husband. If she came to regret that decision at some later point, then so be it. “Has the Premier seen this?” asked Throm, gesturing at the frozen image of Anakin with his lightsaber held high and over his right shoulder, ready to cut a fresh swathe. “He has,” said Padmé, “and he’s despatched a troop of security guards into the outer rim to search him out. As I understand it, he plans to question this man today at the next ministerial session. I’m also told that Lyonides has called a press conference and requested live feed, including play-back of what you’ve just seen.” “Smart move,” whistled Throm. “He’ll have the ‘Hero of the Outer Rim’ standing by his side on holovid within a day of the man tackling the Narzgh single-handed. It’ll be an excellent boost to his popularity—” “And add credence to his claims that city-wide security is his top priority,” added Padmé bitterly. Standing, she walked to the window offering a panoramic view of the city. Her arms were tightly crossed, shoulders tense. It wasn’t the heavy burgundy brocade of her dress that was weighing her down, but the future. “Is there no way we can locate this Skywalker first?” asked Throm. “And do what?” asked Padmé, not turning around. “Ask him not to accept whatever position Lyonides plans to offer him? That could be construed as treason.” She’d considered it; then discarded the idea. She had no idea how Anakin would view Pilas Lyonides. Considering his past history with authority figures, particularly cunning ones offering him praise and position, it was too risky. TBC -----signature----- Purgatory (A/P AU) - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28225076/ I Asked An Angel If I Could Fly (SPN) - http://boards.theforce.net/non_star_wars_fan_fiction/b10808/28873939/p1/?0
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nabooqueen2008 Registered: Jan '08	Date Posted: 4/15 3:26pm Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 4 UPDATED 4/15*
	Thank you for such a long reply! That was a wonderful post! And Anakin and Padme's meeting was so awesome! It's up to Anakin now to fix things and put them to right. As always, can't wait for the next post. Great Job! ~nabooqueen~
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powerfulforce Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 4/15 3:27pm Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 4 UPDATED 4/15*
	What a wonderful update and it is so sad that Padmé has rejected Anakin. Though she does have every right to do so, it is still sad. -----signature----- The Death of Obi-Wan Kenobi http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27349904&brd=10476&start=27681741
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JediMasterRev Registered: Dec '04	Date Posted: 4/15 6:11pm Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/PadmÃ©-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 4 UPDATED 4/15*
	Another wonderful post!! There's so much I liked, it's hard to pick anything to start. First of all, I love the lengthy chapters. It shows the amount of thought and hard work that goes into each one of your posts. Your readers most certainly appreciate them! The long awaited encounter with Anakin and Padme was very heart wrenching. But as Anakin mused later on the chapter, after all his misdeeds, it wasn't like Padme was going to run into his arms without reservation. I especially enjoyed the inner monologues from both their perspectives as the lessons of the first life are now coming into play in this one. I have to say, the more I read about the city, the more it makes me think of the town from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. It has that interesting feeling of something terrible has already happened, now the inhabitants are just focused on making it day by day. A very 'apocalyptic' feel to it, if that makes sense. I also enjoyed the bar scene with Anakin, Sal and Loren. While normally Im not a big fan of 'Earth'characters in the GFFA, I thought in this scenario, it worked perfectly. Came off as an inside joke, which made it great. Excellent work, Helen. Keep it up! -----signature----- "This above all, to thine own self be true." Polonius, Hamlet, Act I, Scene III For the Love of the Queen: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24151408/p1/?0 The Naboo Chronicles: http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/18644312/?162
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randomangel22 Registered: Feb '06	Date Posted: 4/15 7:33pm Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 4 UPDATED 4/15*
	Wow this is getting better and better! Man, I really loved the meeting between Padme and Anakin. Very realistic and how I would think they would've met in the afterlife. Great post and thanks for the PM! -----signature----- I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. --Demetri Martin Yeah that would suck now wouldn't it?
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FitJedi Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 4/15 9:03pm Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 4 UPDATED 4/15*
	Oh very interesting turn of events which just happened between Anakin and Padme. At least the cards on all the table and both parties have to now chose how to play the game. Very well done, I can't wait for more.
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HandmaidenVeme Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 4/15 9:48pm Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 4 UPDATED 4/15*
	I have a feeling that Anakin might tell Pilas Lyonides to take his offer and stick it where the sun don't shine...well, I hope so atleast. Anakin still has Padme's heart, it was her trust that he lost and that's one of the hardest things to ever win back. Anakin sure has his work cut out for him there, but he's more than ready to take on the herculean task. I was just wondering, was I the only one to recognize Lorne? I always loved his character. He's like the thought that nobody'd dare bring to light or that inner voice that people always tried to ignore only to have it jump out in technicolor splendor..-LOL! Once again, great work on the update!!!! -----signature----- Angel #1 the "Mischievous" one "Anakin Skywalker's Towel Girl" Team Edward!
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slow_dawn Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 4/15 11:08pm Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 4 UPDATED 4/15*
	Great update and thanks for the PM. Were there any words in any of the millions of languages of the galaxy that would serve as an apology for what he’d done? I really loved this bit, and their meeting in general. I have to ask though, who is Lorne??? -----signature----- O, Life! That persistent struggle which rises slowly with with the warmth of dawn but fades quickly in the twilight of dusk! The Tragedy of Anakin Skywalker??? The Vig Challenge Board - http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/28176650/p1
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Anakins_Kiss Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 4/16 8:43am Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 4 UPDATED 4/15*
	Wonderful. Can't wait for more. -----signature----- Learn to HATE Padme. http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27568604/p1/?1 STAR WARS MUSIC VIDEOS http://www.youtube.com/user/luckiwondr
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powerfulforce Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 4/16 8:48am Subject: RE: Purgatory (Anakin/Padmé-AU Angst/Action/Romance) CHP 4 UPDATED 4/15*
	Lorne is from the television show Angel I believe. I don't know where Sal comes from though. -----signature----- The Death of Obi-Wan Kenobi http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27349904&brd=10476&start=27681741
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