| Author |
Topic:
The Hands of Time -- songfic -- Vader ruminates
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Anakins_Kiss
Registered:
Jan '06
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Date Posted:
4/4 7:15am
Subject:
The Hands of Time -- songfic -- Vader ruminates
- Date Edited:
4/5 12:18pm (6 edits total)
Edited By:
Anakins_Kiss
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Title: The Hands of Time
Author: Anakins_Kiss
Genre: Songfic, Au
Timeline: ROTS
Characters: Vader/Anakin
Summary: When Vader considers what he has lost, the Force shows mercy.
Disclaimer: All star wars characters belong to Lucas. “If I could turn back the hands of time” is written by R. Kelly.
Special thanks to Kelia for betaing this.
Everyone: There is a companion video for this songfic. Its a tear jerker for me.  If you are interested, the link is at the bottom. ENJOY! 
~~~~~~~~~
“Where is Padme? Is she safe, is she all right?”
“It seems in your anger, you killed her.”
~~~~~
How did I ever let you slip away
Never knowing I'd be singing this song some day
And now I'm sinking, sinking to rise no more
Ever since you closed the door
I desperately search the vastness of the force for any sign of her signature, pleading against the veracity of the emperor’s claims. But I find nothing…not a trace…not a impression…just a void where it should have been. In shock, I recoil and an indescribable agony washes over me. My newly recovered body is again assaulted by yet another tragic blow. It knocks the wind from my chest as a torturous reality reveals its full measure. She and I will forever be parted. The sea of the force stands between us, and I...I am no longer powerful enough to reach her. But, she was alive. She was fine. I don’t understand why she closed her eyes for all time.
If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then my darlin' you'd still be mine
If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then darlin' you, you'd still be mine
How can I go on, knowing that I am responsible? That I am the one who let her down? Knowing that I am the one who broke her heart? She was in my every breath. She was my love, my angel. I was once a man that had love and the promise of a growing family. I had it all. Was I wrong to want to keep what I loved more than life itself? I tried to save her and my child from the fate that awaited them. And now, I am doomed to roam the domain of the empire without the beat of my heart. It’s the price of my passion…and lack of faith.
Funny, funny how time goes by
And blessings are missed in the wink of an eye
Oh why oh why oh why should one have to go on suffering
When every day I pray please come back to me
The touch of machines and droids replaced the touch of your soft skin. The horrific sound of my own breathing replaced the sound of your sweet voice calling my name. My voice, nearly forgotten now, overshadowed by a cold mechanical voice. My broken and battery body is now held together by cybernetics and cold steel. What is left of your husband, dear angel, is a hollow tortured ruin. My life is now filled with bitter emptiness and self-hate. It wasn’t long ago that I held you in my arms, that I felt your kiss, and drowned in the deep brown pools of your eyes. It wasn’t long ago that we enjoyed the news that our family was growing. And now…and now, instead of standing beside you as you deliver our child, I stand beside my master watching as the death of liberty is created.
If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then my darlin' you'd still be mine
If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then darlin' you, you'd still be mine
I wish I could hold you in my arms again. I wish I go back to that fateful day and do it all over. I wish I could have chosen the right instead of the wrong. I wish…I wish I had more faith. I lost you when I chose this path. I see that now. You were right; I was blinded by love. I will never be able to hold you again. I will never see you laugh, and blush and smile. I will never…never be a father to our child. All is lost and can never be reclaimed. The agony is too great, my love, too great to bare. I wish I could go back. I would have chosen the light instead of the dark. I would still be with you both. I would still have you in my arms.
And you had enough love for the both of us
But I, I, I did you wrong, I admit I did
But now I'm facing the rest of my life alone, whoa
You were stronger one. You believed in us. You believed in me. But, I didn’t allow your strength to carry me through. I was too afraid to let go. And here I am, reeling from your abrupt departure knowing that it could have been different had I had more faith.
If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then my darlin' you'd still be mine
If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then darlin' you, you'd still be mine
The force is shifting. The images of you come to me more clearly than before. The flat bed takes me back…back to moments before I discovered you were gone. I don’t understand what is happening or why. The darkness is lifting slowly and the light is beginning to penetrate. The sensation of your kiss returns as the helmet is lifted. The sorrow in my heart slowly drains from me as the mask is removed. And now I can see with my own eyes. Hope returns. HOPE...returns.
Yes, something is happening. The force has heard my pleas and time, it seems, is being undone.
I'd never hurt you
If I could turn back
Never do you wrong
If I could turn back
And never leave your side
If I could turn back
If I could turn back the hands
Open your eyes, my love. Awaken and come back to a fresh start. We are given a second chance. This time, I will never do anything to hurt you. I hope you will be there and you will forgive me for all I have done. I remember when you encouraged me and gave strength when I was weak. I miss the moments we shared. I remember when we were happy together. When all we had was our love. I want to turn back. I pray that you stay with me. I hope that I can start over and knowing what I know now. I promise I will do things right this time.
There'd be nothing I wouldn't do for you
If I could turn back
Forever honest and true to you
If I could turn back
If you accept me back in your heart, I love you
If I could turn back the hands
Undo the duel with Obi wan. Force be merciful…undo what I have done to you, my wife. I am sorry for thing I said. I am sorry for hurting you. I can be the good person, you’ve always known me to be. I will be the father our child would need. I will be the husband you need. I’ll be open with you and honest with you. I will never keep anything from you or push you away. I will not let you down. I pray you have faith in me as you once did. Stand with me, please. My heart is yours as it always was and this time… this time, I won’t be afraid to let go.
If I could turn back
That would be my will
If I could turn back
Darlin' I'm begging you to take me by the hands
If I could turn back the hands
Undo the burning of the temple and the attack on the Jedi. On my knees, I beg you, my love, to forgive me. If you chose to leave me still, I will understand. All that I ask for is your forgiveness. This time...this time I will wait for you. Force be merciful, undo my decision to align with the Sith. Please take back my vision of her death, untie the knot that bound me to my fears and compelled me to act diabolically. Put me back to that point in the council chambers and give me another chance to do it right this time. For her…for the family I could've had…for everyone.
I'm going down, yes I am
If I could turn back
Down on my bended knee, yeah
If I could turn back
And I'm gonna be right there until you return to me
If I could turn back the hands
I want to feel her presence in the force again. It would be likened to a angelic song after spending a lifetime in utter silence. I want to see her smile again. It would like refreshing waters against my parched skin. Bring it all back to the moments before I erred. Back in the council chambers when she felt me, just as I felt her. For that moment, we were bonded as husband and wife, as Padme and Anakin through the force. I didn’t know it would be the last time I truly sense her before the darkness touched me. I remember how much I loved her, how much I still love her.
If I could turn back
If I could just turn back that little clock on the wall
If I could turn back
Then I'd come to realize how much I love you
Love you love you love you
If I could turn back the hands
A flash of light blinds me to all else and suddenly I am jerked out of slumber, my breath stolen away. I am confused and frightened. I am in our bedroom. It is night. And as I gasp for breath I feel her warmth and her presence through the force. Partly because of disbelief and partly out of a need to ensure she's safe again, I look at her. And there she is, beside me, asleep. I can sense our unborn, nestled within her womb. And it is again, as it was the night I envisioned her death. For a moment, I question reality. Is this a dream? Will I awaken to the horrid sounds of my breath, surrounded by droids? I blink. Then I realize that this IS real. She is really beside me. And I am whole again--body and soul. I am Anakin Skywalker again. And this time....THIS time I will do things right. Yet, my confusion still begs a question...
Did the force undo time and give me a second chance? Or, was my life as Darth Vader a vision of what awaits if I choose the dark side?
THE END
Here is the music video companion (featuring padme, anakin/vader of course) for this songfic-- THE HANDS OF TIME
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VaderLVR64
Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots
Registered:
Feb '04
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Date Posted:
4/4 7:41am
Subject:
RE: The Hands of Time -- songfic - - Vader ruminates
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Nicely done!
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If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Army Mom! HOOAH! Adopt a soldier: http://soldiersangels.org/
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Teresa
Registered:
Mar '07
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Date Posted:
4/4 9:29am
Subject:
RE: The Hands of Time -- songfic -- Vader ruminates
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Excellent ! I love seeing Anakin get a second chance and make the right choices! 
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KELIA
Title: Fan Fiction Moderator
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
4/4 1:14pm
Subject:
RE: The Hands of Time -- songfic -- Vader ruminates
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How I wish Anakin could have gotten that second chance.
This was beautifully written. I enjoyed it just as much this time as I did the first time I read it.
Great job!
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ROTSFan
Registered:
Jul '06
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Date Posted:
4/4 5:52pm
Subject:
RE: The Hands of Time -- songfic -- Vader ruminates
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Very interesting idea, reversing time! I'd never considered that.
And now…and now, instead of standing beside you as you deliver our child, I stand beside my master watching as the death of liberty is created.
Tragic.
The sorrow in my heart slowly drains from me as the mask is removed. And now I can see with my own eyes. Hope returns. HOPE...returns.
At first I thought this was Luke removing his mask on the Death Star. Good to see that Vaderkin has realized his lack of faith and turn to darkness was the big problem.
Put me back to that point in the council chambers and give me another chance to do it right this time. For her…for the family I could've had…for everyone.
Beautiful plea. Selflessly put.
My heart is yours as it always was and this time… this time, I won’t be afraid to let go.
YES. Exactly! If he ceased to fear letting go, he wouldn't lose it in the first place. Faith is what the Force asks, but it's one of the hardest things to give.
Did the force undo time and give me a second chance? Or, was my life as Darth Vader a vision of what awaits if I choose the dark side?
Answer: Yes, and yes.
Well done. 
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Fics in profile; ask me to unlock ~I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I hoped it would be." - Office Space
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Helen_Taft
Registered:
Mar '08
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Date Posted:
4/5 7:55am
Subject:
RE: The Hands of Time -- songfic -- Vader ruminates
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OMG A tearjerker that ends with wonderful hope. Your writing was so full of emotion you literally wrung me out and then fixed it at the end. Bless you. This was a great ficlet. If only...
Great job!
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earlybird-obi-wan
Registered:
Aug '06
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Date Posted:
4/5 8:10am
Subject:
RE: The Hands of Time -- songfic -- Vader ruminates
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lovely the text so in tune with the song.
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writer and Star Wars fan
FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link]
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Erin_21
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
6/18 9:53pm
Subject:
RE: The Hands of Time -- songfic -- Vader ruminates
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This was really beautiful I love it, I hope you decide to write a sequel 'cause is a beautiful prologue for something more. If not you created something awesome , hugs!! Be well and take care, Monica
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Mónica_O   "Create with your life a Masterpiece" "Human roses may fade but they never die" "Never drive (or fly ^^) faster than your Guardian Angel can fly" "I'm not the reader I should be, I want more!!" http://monicaop.livejournal.com/
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Anakins_Kiss
Registered:
Jan '06
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Date Posted:
6/23 1:08pm
Subject:
RE: The Hands of Time -- songfic -- Vader ruminates
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Vaderlvr64: Thank you. 
Teresa: I share the same feeling.
Kelia: Thank you so much! I wished it for him as well.
ROTS: Thanks. The song seemed to have brought of that out. 
Helen_Taft: Thank you. I tried to make it as emotional as the video. 
Earlybird-Obi-wan: I heard the song years ago. I remembered it one day when I was writing and realized how much the song fit Anakin and Padme's plight. 
Erin21: Thank you. I was really thinking of this as I was writing a different take on Vader undoing time. 
Everyone - Thank you for reading my songfic and I hope you all enjoyed it. I recently received a nomination for best songfic for the summer '08 saga awards. Thank you all. This is the best compliment I could imagine.
~KISS
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JediMasterJessica
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
6/23 1:38pm
Subject:
RE: The Hands of Time -- songfic -- Vader ruminates
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....so pretty. I loved it. awesome job!
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