| Author |
Topic:
In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Updated 5/20!
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Vaders_Angel
Registered:
Jun '05
|
Date Posted:
5/5 1:46pm
Subject:
In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Updated 5/20!
- Date Edited:
5/20 10:11pm (10 edits total)
Edited By:
Vaders_Angel
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For some reason this topic was locked about a year and a half ago, along with 'all' of my topics. I was not banned, did nothing wrong to instigate this, so I didn't understand the reason for it, and no mods would answer when I inquired, and life interfered with my online time, hence my disappearence for awhile from the forum. But I've found time to repost it, so, hope you enjoy.
TITLE: In Your Honor
AUTHOR: Vaders_Angel
TIMEFRAME: 3 yrs post ROTS
CHARACTERS: Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan, Sidious, a few OCs.
GENRE: Drama, Action, Romance, Adventure.
SUMMARY: A post ROTS AU. The Emporer has killed Padme, and Vader is
coping with the loss of his family, struggling between
his loyalty to the Empire and Anakins love for Padme
and wish to do justice to her memory.
Notes:
In this story, Padme was not killed by Anakin in their confrontation on Mustafar, but the babies were lost as a result of her injuries. Anakin somehow (we will see how later on) convinced Padme that he truly had repented for it, and she forgave him, staying with him, though they constantly warred over his allegeance to the Dark Side. Palpy/Sidious has at last tired of the conflict Padme is capable of instilling within his apprentice, and has seen fit to kill her, and send Vader off on a wild goose chase to turn his focus elsewhere. It is an ongoing project I begain somewhere about 5 years ago and I hope to finish it this year. Hope you enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: All characters, places, names, etc and so forth are property of George Lucas. He owns all, I own nothing except for the original character of Ommji. No copyright infringement is intended etc and so forth
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Click above for a book cover/movie poster image I made to go along with the story.
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By my own Masters hand, you had been murdered. My beautiful angel, in death as in life you are still exquisite. As I stared down at your lifeless body, a sob almost broke through the shell that had formed over my soul long ago. I questioned why. Why you had been subjected to such a horrible fate. I was told you were no longer a neccessity. You had done your part and now you must die. He'd had to, he replied, it was for the good of the Empire. You had a strangle hold on my heart and would not relinquish it to the bitterness that threatened to claim it. Your strength was formidable, your resolve was great. You refused to give up on me, even as the monster I was now. I had fallen in love with that part of you, that refused to be dominated, did away with injustice, and despised anything but pure truth.
All of this ran through my mind as I gazed down at your broken lifeless form. My Master could read through my thoughts like a data card. He recoiled in disgust when I mentally took stock of your attributes, remembering the beautiful strength you held, and the love I could feel in your eyes. He said you had weakened me, you drained me of the darkness he needed for me to posess. You had filled me with happiness, an emotion most unwelcome in a Sith. You put light in my eyes that should only know the Darkness.
Now, upon your death, he told me I would begin to experiance the feelings I would need, to lead me further on the path to the Dark side. I had known fear, when I began having the dreams of losing you in childbirth.
I now felt all consuming anger, for his selfish, unspeakable act, striking down the one person I had left who had meant something to me.
I felt rage scathing me down to the very core of my being, and boiling over to a bubbling mass of darkness, darkness he would use to his advantage. My hand twitched a bit as it rested mere inches from my sabor.
I considered killing him myself and taking the Empire as my own. Unquestioned Master to all surrounding me. My heart thumped louder in my chest as I pondered. I was almost drunk with the thought when something spoke to me.
What would you do to bring her back?
I was suddenly jolted out of my thought proccess by a female voice that posed the ultimate question. The one question I dreaded, but had known since I saw you lying there motionless, that I would ultimately have to find the answer to inside myself.
But who had posed the question? That I did not know, it had come to me in a voice so loud and clear that I thought it certain that the Emporer had heard it as well. But he did not acknowledge it, and I said nothing.
I looked around, your lifeless body was still at my feet. Their was no other female in the room, only my Master and I. The voice was still for a few seconds as if waiting for a response. Or waiting for me to acknowledge what I felt deep within my being. The Force was speaking directly to me!
That can't be, I thought, trying to push the thought aside and return to matters at hand. But he could tell something was distracting me. "What is it? Speak up!...Do you see something?" I looked away, unable to gaze upon your killer. Even if he was my Master. He nodded knowingly and his face broke into a smile, "Good," he sneered, his face becoming a steel wall of hatred. "Feel the anger rising in you Lord Vader. It will make you strong, not weak like the emotions our simpering, young, former Senator was somehow able to inspire in you." I jerked my head up to look at him when he had the audacity to mention her name. "Maybe in death she can be of some use to the Empire, instead of trying to destroy it as she did in life. I know you hate me right now for killing her. But you will remain faithful even now. For who but me will have you as you are? As you have been. Who among the Jedi would forgive your actions along the road to ultimate power? Need I remind you of your last visit to the Jedi academy?"
His hand fell upon my shoulder, falsely portraying the caring Master.
What would you do to bring her back?
The same voice haunted me, replaying itself over and over again, in my mind. I felt seething anger welling up inside of me, burning for release, begging me to plunge my blade so deep into his neck as he stood there mere inches from my reach. But I maintained my calm facade and bowed my head placidly.
I shuddered inside when he mentioned that fateful day. The day I had pledged my allegiance to the Empire, and to him, and the mission he had sent me on that day. I could still hear the younglings screams every night in my dreams night as I tried to sleep, to no avail.
It was the feeling of my first surge of true power that made me feel then that I couldn't give it up. To fight him in Padme's honor would turn me into what I hated most. A hypocrite. I had stood by and even taken part while he killed thousands in the name of the Empire. I was responsible for the death of my own children. And to now turn from the Dark side and put Anakins life back together without her....without them..
I could not further degrade her memory by dishonering the person she was in life in such a way. I shook my head in defeat, and turned to look at him. My head bowed, my face complescent, I replied, "No Master. I am grateful to you for accepting me. I will do whatever you ask." His face softened into the face I recognised as Senator Palpetine, the face I had trusted so much. The face that would lead me down the doorway to certain destruction of any shred of humanity and compassion within me.
He had truelly made me into a machine, that could afford no emotion.
I had no choice now, my fate had been sealed. "Good, now I have heard rumours surrounding the death of Jedi Master Yoda. I want you to go to his home planet and see what information you can gleen from the locals there, then I will send one of my less,..recognisable affiliates to the Jedi Temple ruins, to look around."
He paused, and after a moment said with a satisfied sneer, "You would be a bit .....recognizable I think. And after another long pause with both of us making unspoken challenges, he sneered in disgust, and perhaps a small ammount of pity....If Sithlords were ever afforded with such emotions. I only knew of myself. And I knew that I had pitied many of the victims I has eradicated with my light sabor. But not enough to keep from completing my task.
Master spoke again, his voice taking on a soothing, syrupy tone " I can see inside your soul, read your every intention. You think I don't know you hate me? Trust me, I know. I will teach you to turn that hate into power. That power will serve you well. Trust me Vader, as you did that day you pledged your loyalty. And together we will rule this galexy!"
Without thinking I shot out, "Will you bring back Padme?" It was not a sarcastically rhetorical question, or a question of blackmail. I honestly wanted him to at least consider it. Perhaps if I couldn't save her from death the first time, I would succeed the second. And then I may be able to convince her to join me.
But I knew that, given a second chance to save our love I would be more vulnerable to her wishes, I may give up everything I had worked toward, in an effort to keep her with me always.
His face became an evil mask of rage, and in a flash his face was mere inches from mine as he raged, "I killed her for the good of the Empire!! And dead she shall remain! Now to your task!" His yellow eyes tinged with the blood of all of his victims now burned into me. Dejectedly, I once again bowed my head and in a flourish of black, I went to do his bidding.
I raced my speeder furiously towards the small apartment that Padme and I had shared. I jabbed at the button to open the door so hard I thought my finger might break, and used the Force to close it behind me, but still it slammed shut with a thunderous sound. Like bars on a prison cell of old, I thought ironically, realizing I was indeed imprisoned. I was imprisoned by my lust for power, my need to control my own destiny.
Once inside, surrounded by memories of her, for the first timesince I had carried out Order 66........ I wept.
I wept for myself, for the monster I had become in order to save her, only to have that very decision become her undoing. I wept for all I'd lost in the proccess, the kinships, the love. She had said she hated what I had become, that she'd never accept me as I was, even if I was doing it for her. She didn't want it. I remembered the tears she had shed for the person I used to be. The love she still held for me, trying with all of her strength to drag me back into the light of day that my soul had once basked in.
Once I regained my composure, I ordered the helper droid to pack my things and called on the telecom to my Liutenant, telling him we were to set course to Dagobah at once. He had been sleeping, I mused. Almost envious of the fact, but as some took pleasure in saying, no rest for the wicked. After I made the order I cut off the connection and sat down, waiting for my baggage to be packed. I let out a deep sigh, and ran my finger along the line on my face, so marred, and rippled. A constant reminder of why she had feared for my life as much as I had for hers. I knew she had loved me, and I had loved her. More than almost anything in life.
An hour later I boarded my craft and ordered my Lieutenant to set course for Degobah, realizing for the moment I had a duty to fulfill. I would play along, and be the dutiful Sith I was supposed to be. Until I could figure out what my next move would be. I had promised her I would not shame her memory by turning it into a charade. I would not attempt to rectify my mistakes by a last effort of decency and think that would erase all I had done. But the thought still plagued me,
refusing to evaporate.
He must pay!! My heart screamed. It raged on until I thought I would go mad with the thought. He took what was yours from you! He killed the only person you could love. The only one that mattered. What would your mother think if you let her down again!! You know what Padme would have wanted, you're just too scared of the Emperor to risk being forced into battle with him! But it will come, whether you want it to or not! Whether you choose it for the right reasons or not, it will come!" There was no sabor mark on her, I recalled. She had not been cut down by a blade, but by his own hands and the power that dwelled there.
The finality of that realization threw itself at me with a forceful thud, making my heart pound furiously in my chest. It also sealed my destiny in one way or another. One day, by my own initiation or his, we would meet in battle. I had foreseen it in my nightmares, felt the pain as force lightning was pumped into my body with such brutality that my very breathe was stolen from me. Just as Padmes had been drained slowly from her body. But until now I had not known what the reason was behind my anger. I had not questioned it, only assumed I would attempt to overthrow him once I became strong enough.
Until I saw my loves limp form lying on the filthy floor in his chambers. It was not filthy from dirt or debris, but tainted with the blood of the innocent. Just as the blade of my light sabor had been soiled many times in his name. The final shock of the viciousness he posessed hit me when I saw what he had done to her. That alone was a sufficient reason to bring my dreams to the realm of reality. I would fight him, I would attempt to destroy his Empire and the evil that had dwelt there for far too long. I gave up the notion that it would be a desecration to her memory, I had desecrated it by what I had become after her death. And the only way to put things right after what I had done was to destroy the thcome between us.
Did I really believe I would win? He had already begun to mistrust me, with my reaction over Padmes death. He had known the one vulnerable spot I had left and he destroyed it. That alone showed that in the event he was challenged, he would be merciless. He would stop at nothing to exact revenge on a treachorous adversary, one he had once trusted. H would first attempt to regain control.
But I was no longer under even my own control. I was almost afraid of myself, of the rage that boiled through me, scorching my veins. My fists clenched tighter as I thought of what she must have felt, at his merciless hand. He had used the very powers the Force had granted him, to destroy one of its most precious wonders. The only mistake she had made was in placing her faith in the heart of a Sith.
I would now show the Emporer that even the countinance of his apprentice had it's limits. And in destroying her, he had destroyed all loyalty I had to any being in the gallexy. In her own way, she had kept me anchored to my being. She had made me believe their were limits to the actions I would perform. Now those limits were fallable. But now it was not the Jedi, nor the Rebels that would feel my wrath. It was the very person who had sought to rip my heart out of her grasp. He would soon wish he had reconsidered that notion.
"Lord Vader?" I heard a voice behind me speak softly, I did not turn around, afraid my thoughts would betray me in merely a facial expression. I could feel his nervousness permeating the air around me as he quietly continued, "We will be arriving on Degobah in just a few moments, Sir." I nodded and with a wave of my hand, dismissed him, listening to him quickly take his leave. I had to push my current thoughts aside for now. I had to go along, to play his game until I could proccur the right situation to form a reliable plan. So as I stood to step onto Degobah soil for the first time in years, I became Vader and left Anakin behind once more.
The guards I had brought with me began to get into formation around me as I walked down the gangplank. I fixed my eyes into a hard cold stare and glanced at passers by as though daring them to challenge me. A man came up to greet me, his head bowed humbly. He didn't dare look me in the eye as he stammered, "Greetings, Lord Vader. Welcome to Degobah. We are most pleased to have you grace this humble planet with your presence. I am Ambassador Liam Rokjah. Is their anything you need to make your stay here more pleasant? We-" I cut him off swiftly with a raise of one gloved hand. "I am not here on a social visit. I am here on a mission for the Empire. Have you heard anything regarding the death of Jedi Master Yoda?" He shook his head, visibly stunned by my inquiry. "No My Lord, though I must say I haven't heard that name spoken all too often in many a year." The young man swallowed nervously as though afraid I would not believe his words. But through the Force, I could sense no dishonesty in the man, so I allowed him to live, and he stepped aside.
I inquired of the location of Jedi Master Yodas quarters, and was also given a incredulous glance before he said, "I'm afraid I do not know, M'Lord. He was not one to make himself a spectacle, he kept himself hidden deep within the swamps, never interacting with the townsfolk. And we kindly kept our distance as that seemed to be his wish. The only townsperson who might remember is the healer, Omji. She was said to have gone there once, long ago searching for him. But she never speaks of it. Nobody knows what the purpose of her visit was or what happened while she was there. But she is old now, and her memory is surely aging along with her body. I'd be suprised if she still remembered the way." I nodded, "I shall see," I said. "If she does not remember consciously, their are other ways of extracting the information." His eyes grew wider with fear and he stopped walking for a moment. I had no such inclination, so I kept going. After a moment he hurried up to my side, "Oh but you would not hurt her M'Lord, would you? She is weak now, old and very frail."
"I will do what is neccessary to complete the task I was sent here to do, Ambassador." I stated bluntly. He fumbled with his tunic for a moment, then nodded in acceptance, knowing nothing he said would make a difference. I do not know if it was Anakin Skywalker speaking at that instant, or if I had a change of mind thinking the old lady might prove useful in other ways, but I found myself saying, "If she cooperates and tells me what she knows, no harm will come to her." And with that, I left a very stunned Ambassador Rokjah standing with his mouth agape as I hurried to fulfill the task at hand.
After walking without a guide for what seemed like hours in search of the healer woman, I happened upon a small child who, by twist of fate or sheer luck I could not decide, happened to say she knew exactly where Omji was.
I came upon a ramshackle old shack made crudely of some kind of sticks which were held together by mud and an unidentifyable substance. Their were two small windows cut out on one side of the structure, and in the window sills were pots filled with green herbs growing in them. In between the pots there were small jars filled with strange looking mixtures. Some had things floating in them, although I did not stop to find out exactly what these objects were. The hut was a very quaintly built structure with foliage growing wildly around it, climbing the walls and making it almost look alive. As though built from plant life instead of sticks and mud. It reminded me of something that, as a child I would have been in great awe of and perhaps curious to see how it were built.
But that was a lifetime ago, now all that was on my mind was on was getting this wretched task overwith.It was not one I looked forward to, as I knew that if I discover the whereabouts of Master Yoda, I would then be dispatched to kill him. No Jedi must be left alive, he said.
I walked stealthily up to the door, giving it a sharp rap and barked out "Hello?! I am here sent by His Highness the Emporer. I have a matter of great importance to discuss."
No answer. Not a voice, nor did the door move even slightly to open. Silence. I waited several moments, thinking if this woman was as frail as the Ambassador had said, she may take some time to walk to the door. But after several standard minutes had passed, my patiance wore thin, then evaporated. I gave the door a push, and it opened with a loud crash, the force almost draging me to the floor of the small living quarters.
The inside of the cottage was even more cluttered with debris than the outside had been. The walls were a deep ruddy brown, from the mixture of mud and other fixiations it had been constructed with. The floor, I saw was made of the ground itself, with small patches of strange looking plant-life growing up here and there. Their were crates of every size, from large to very small cluttering everything. And there was a large stone oven in the middle of the room. Insects crawled along the floor in hurried fashion, as if trying to escape from the stench of the room, which permeated the room heavily. It was a mixture of what I took to be herbs, and....body odors.
The smell of unwashed human flesh was sickening and I quickly covered my nose and mouth, and went in search of the woman. I looked throughout the hovel, searching every crevice, thinking perhaps she had gone hiding when she heard my calling. These marsh people were never known for taking kindly to visitors they didn't know. Suddenly I heard a voice singing faintly, as though from a distance away. I realised it was coming from outside. The old one was returning. She must have been out the entire time, probably gathering herbs for one of her infernal potions. But how would she react to coming home to find a Dark Lord of the Sith...standing in her living room? I didn't need any help from the Force to foresee that scene. I thought for a moment, then decided to go outside, wait for her to return, and then knock on the door.
But I took just a little too long in my pondering. For when I turned toward the door, there was a figure, clothed in a brown sack cloth robe in the doorway. The eyes that peered out at me were round, and the color of blood, crimson, with silver lining, kind yet full of worry . Since joining with the Dark Side I had not been as nervous in anyones presence other than my Master. But soon I realised it was not only the womans screaming that had me shaking slightly. It was the atmosphere that had somehow wandered into the room along with her. The feeling of warmth, of welcome, of feeling I belonged here. It was a feeling I hadn't had since...
"You miss her don't you?" The question came like a bolt of Force lightning, piercing my very core. This woman couldn't possibly know about Padme. Was she reffering to my mother? Word travelled among the gallexy at a fast pace when it revolved around the Empire. Perhaps she had somehow heard the rumours being spread about the mother of Lord Vader. I stumbled around the answer as I fought to maintain control of my nerves, to do what I had been sent here to do. After a few moments I regained my composure and asked, as gruffly as I could, "Do you know the where abouts of Jedi Master Yoda?"
She turned around, presenting her back to me. My first thought was that this peasent woman was being obstinant, and disrespectful, but then...she turned back around. And what she held out in her hand sent a shiver up my spine. That small trinket that had meant the world to my wife, just because I had made it with my own hands. I held out one hand to the woman, and she gently placed the japor snippet into it. I felt no shame to cry in front of this woman as I sank to my knees and let out the pains kept inside for over 15 years from my mothers death, and the more recent torment of my wifes demise. The fact that she hadn't worn the trinket in over a year did not suprise me, she had detested what I had become and had tried to convince me that the Emporer would come between us. That he was jealous of my devotion to her. But I had not listened. And now, because of my loyalty to him...my angel was gone.
"You do not wish to find Yoda." She said simply. "If you find him, you will be forced to kill him. I can see your heart, it still lives. You do not wish to do this task. But you feel you owe someone. Whomever it is...You feel bound to them. Feel that he is all you have left, and yet you hate him, would kill him if you could, for what he did to her. And to your mother."
In the years since she had been murdered, I had buried my mind in the fact that my mother had been murdered by the Tuskin raiders senselessly. Trying not to consider the possibility that their was any meaning to it. Was she now telling me their was some significant thing that connected her death to that of Padme? My mind reeled at the possibility. If it were possible that they were connected...did that mean he was to blame for Mothers death as well? Was I to trust this woman who may only be saying these things to sway my attention from the subject? "Why should I trust you?" I asked.
She smiled. "Don't trust me....trust your heart, Anakin. You know it to be true. He murdered your wife because she was a hinderance to your service to him. You would have eventually seen the wisdom of her words, and he couldn't have that. He planted the first taste of bitterness, hate, and vengeance into you with the only thing that could fill you with that much anger at that point. The murder of your mother. The one thing that had the power to bring you closer to the Darkness...closer to him."
I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat, and searched frantically for a place to sit. She raised her hands, and a wicker chair seemed to glide toward me and position itself behind me. Without thinking I sat down. I barely noticed her use of the Force, which told me she had had some form of training. From whom, I did not ask, for I didn't have to. I knew it to be Master Yoda.
I Sat soaking in my anger for what felt like standard hours but was in fact only moments. If what the old lady was telling me was true...but it couldn't be..but if it was, May the Force have mercy on my Master....for I would not!
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The old woman peered up at me with those glaring eyes,
"I can see into your soul , you are not following your heart at this moment. You are troubled.You are filled with rage at his actions against those you've loved.......
The only ones you've ever opened yourself to enough to care for..... He wiped them out like insects. If you are honest with yourself, you know he cares nothing for you, only for what you can do for him. To increase his power."
As I sat there silently absorbing all she had said and this new revelation, she looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, and then came the question I had been avoiding within myself. "Answer me this ....Anakin Skywalker. Look within yourself, within the heart that still beats inside you. Do you grieve her death for her sake, because her light was extinguished so tragically..........or for yourself?" All composure I had attempted to maintain up to this point evaporated with that question. I stood up to my full height, and glared at her, "Do not presume to pry into my soul and attempt to degrade my love for her!! You do not now as much as you think you do, old one!" I stalked around the chair and stood face to face with her, so close I could reach out and choke her if I so chose. I looked her squarely in the eye and spit out, " If you dare speak another word of this I will destroy you. I will teach you the appropriate way to speak to a Sithlord! I will have the answers I came here to find. Where is Yoda?!" She did not move, did not flinch, nor even blink at my tirade.She simply stood there waiting patiently for me to finish, like a mother waiting out the tantrum of a petulant child. After a few moments ticked away, she sighed deeply and walked over to another wicker chair a few feet away. She slowly sat down, like the aged do when pains have made rising and sitting difficult and painful. Then she raised her hands, and thinking she was going to attack, I immediately ran my own hand up to my light sabor hilt. But I stopped when I saw a small wooden chest floating it's way towards her. It paused briefly when it came to her, then gently rested itself on her delicate lap. She glanced at me warrily, then beckoned me to her. I walked over until I was a few metres away and she opened the box. When she opened it I saw a blue light eminating from whatever was inside it. "This is the Star of Morgmaa. I was chosen as its keeper by Jedi Master Windu when he became head of the Jedi Council. It has the power to show the location of any Jedi you wish it to... he knew the Empire were wiping out all Jedi and thought it would be safer with me, which obviously proved to be true since he has met his...... demise." She glared at me when she said this, and I felt a momentary twinge of remorse for Master Windus death at my own hand when I was trying to prove my loyalty to Sidious.
My mind registered all of this information and I felt a smile take shape upon my face. This would solve all of my Mast...of Sidious' problems. I refused to call him Master any longer. I would decide later what to do about the Empire, but he would not live.
This was the one thing that would have made his dream of making the Jedi completely extinct a reality. And I had it within my grasp, if I would simply take it. After all....how much of a fight could this ancient put up?
"That would not be a wise move on your part, Anakin Skywalker. You do not know the power you are dealing with. I will help you find Yoda. But you will not harm him, and you will not turn him over to your Master. He is far too valuable to you alive. You would be wiser to listen to your heart this time." I looked at her, the confusion plain in my face, so she replied, "He knows of what I speak. He will know why I have sent you to him, but I can see your heart is still torn. I will not turn him over to your Empire to be slaughtered as you have done to so many Jedi before him."
I glanced away for a moment so she could not read the expression in my eyes, the regret of things I had done that bred there. But her senses took hold of me and I could feel her searching my mind with the Force. Opening my soul to her, revealing my deepest secrets. I tried to nudge her out of my mind, but her power with the Force was shockingly stronger than even my own and she overpowered me easilly. "He knows you are useful to him as long as you depend upon him, so he keeps you that way by removing any other source of caring, or comfort you have, don't continue to allow this!" She pleaded. Those eyes pierced me like two tiny blades of steel. My shock at her use of my former name overthrew any argument I could muster. How she had known it was not yet a question I had had time to fathom. The power this old one posessed was amazing to me. I had grown to believe I was the most powerful wielder of the Force. But here stood a tiny woman, whom, if I didn't know better I'd say was........the physical embodiment of the Force itself!!! My own thought nearly knocked me over with the sheer amazement of it. It couldn't be. She was simply a woman, who admittedly had been very well trained in the ways of the Force, but was she...The Force in physical form??
She paused, put her hand up and an intricately carved wooden walking stick floated over to her. She grasped it, placed the end gently on the floor and strained to stand, using the stick to hoist up her tiny frame. Then she hobbled over to the other side of the room and turned, presenting me with her back once again. I was humbled so by the being so much more powerful than I that even this action did not anger me. I almost had the impuls to foolishly bow to her as I had once done to Master Yoda. She hobbled over to me and placed the small box in my hands.
I now had it in my control. Absolute power and an Empire in my firm control, with not a single Jedi left to question me, or a chance to regain any honor Padme had ever placed in me. She had believed in me, had always held steadfastly to the good she saw in me.
Conflict burned inside my being, stirring the pot until it was a frothy mass in my mind, brimming to the top, about to overflow. What was more important, power, or honor? Which would engrave one into the memories of the gallexy? Which create a legacy? And which would be my downfall?
If I went to Master Yoda, nothing guarunteed he would forgive my heinous actions. Nothing said he had any reason to believe my heart had changed. If I were to humble myself before him, and beg for my life back, what would come of it if he shunned me for what I was now? Would he attempt to bring me down, forcing me to commit another act of murder? For I would not accept death in any form as long as Sidious was still alive! I would kill Yoda if neccessary, in order to live long enough to avenge my loves death. As I stood there, I realised that she once again was in my thoughts, listening to everything as it played in my mind. "Yoda will not draw a light sabor unless you attack him first." She said, " He waits for you, he expects you to come to him. He welcomes your return to the Light, as long as you do it for the correct reasons. You see, if you return only to gain vengeance upon Sidious, you will be easilly returned to the Darkness. Anger leads to hate...Hate to the Dark Side. He warned you once, you would not listen then. Please Anakin, do not repeat past mistakes. Learn from them. Do this because you know it's the right thing to do. Do it for yourself, as well as for Padme. Don't you think that's what she would want as well? She would want you to be happy, not to force yourself into something for her benifit."
I nodded and looked down at the box in my hands...I opened it and looked at the Star of Morgmaa. It was a beautiful glowing purple orb, about the size of a grapefruit. I wondered how such an artifact ould tell me where Master Yoda was. As soon as the thought entered my mind...the ball seemed to fill with smoke. It got more and more dense as I watched silently, then the smoke slowly cleared. Once it had cleared completely I saw an image of Master Yoda,...clear as day. He was sitting beside a small pond, watching fish jump playfully. He looked to be deeply in thought, perhaps meditating. Then all at once, as though he had felt me watching him, he shuddered slightly and opened his eyes. He tapped his stick on the ground gently, and then stood. The image slowly began to fade, and the word Coruscant crept into my mind.
That must be where he is, I thought. I closed the box and ran my finger over its wooden cover as a wide, slightly lopsidded grin slowly took shape on my lips....Coruscant, eh? I hadn't been there in quite awhile anyway. The old woman didn't say anything, simply looked at me with a slightly nervous look in her eyes, and sighed deeply.
I placed the box inside my cloak, bid her farewell, and left. I had made my decision, and consequences be damned.
As I sat aboard my ship, pondering all that had occured, I was once again overwhelmed with images of my Padme, so beautiful and strong. They burned in my memory like white hot flames. Painful yet wonderous. In effect, they were also what was keeping me alive at this moment, and the cause of my turmoil. I wanted to find the Emporer, and see him go through the same agony, and torture he had put her through. Hurt him the way I was now hurting. But some small part of me, the part that was still human, begged me to let the past die with Padme. To go on with my life the way she would have wanted me to. She would not wish me to suffer the way I had since her death, I knew that. But the fact remained, that the person who had taken her from me lived on. And it was one fact I could not ignore.
I reached for my satchel, and withdrew the box containing the Star of Morgmaa. I took a deep breath, and cleared my mind as best I could, before opening it and gingerly lifting out the orb. It began to glow purple almost immediately. My breath caught in my chest as I waited once again for the smoke to clear from deep within it. And I began seeing images of trees, brush, and a bit of plant-life. But Master Yoda was nowhere to be found. After a few moments, the image faded, and the ball was suddenly black as night. I exhaled sharply, and put it back down into its box. Looking up, I gave a great sigh, almost of relief it seemed. I was still unsure of my own reliability, even as contrite and respectful of him as I now felt. For even though I now realised what I had become at Sidious' hand, I also knew in my own mind that my feelings were not trustworthy. I had a demon inside of me in Vader. And it was only a matter of time before I must face him as well. What would happen when that occured, Force only knew. But I was through fooling myself. I knew I'd face whatever happened head on. And whatever happened at that moment, was my destiny.
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See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me  Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now!  Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Anakins_Kiss
Registered:
Jan '06
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Date Posted:
5/6 6:32am
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Repost
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great story so far. Interesting.
About the locked topic thing. The same thing happened to me with a couple of my fics. I think the mods lock stories that have been inactive for a long period of time. I don't know why none have mentioned that to you. I was told by one mod that if you ask them to unlock it, they will. Hope that helps.
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Vaders_Angel
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
5/8 1:10pm
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Repost
- Date Edited:
5/8 2:20pm (4 edits total)
Edited By:
Vaders_Angel
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Anakins_Kiss:
Thank you very much for reading and replying. I have chosen to just repost them, as I would like a bit of a fresh start on the boards anyway. Last time I was here I was a bit of..well, I guess a noob, constantly bumping my fics and such.. but to be fair I had only just discovered the internet as a whole so, net ettiquete was lost on me a bit  But thank you for the advice.
A nights 'sleep' is what followed..if it could be called that, for it was fraught with visions, haunting memories of my heinous acts. I was forced in my minds eye to bear witness to my former self, doing things I knew I had done but in some ways it felt foreign. Like watching a holomovie of this untamable beast, a killing machine, for that was what I had become. I watched myself, killing mercilessly and without cause. No thought to the rights of the people as I used the Force, weilding it with no mercy to any that happened to cross me, and..many who had not. I saw myself, choking guards, cutting down Jedie padawans in the temple, and many other deplorable acts. Lastly though, I was tormented by the vision of the fateful day, when I found my mother, barely alive, holding onto her last breathe. For me. She had waited for me.
I let her down once, twice, too many times to count. I would not do so again. I would perform this task, but it would be on my terms. I would not kill Yoda unless absolutely neccessary. He would be taken to the emporer for whatever questioning that was deemed so neccessary, and then I washed my hands of it. As much as my mind screamed that he was amongst those responsible for the death of Anakin Skywalker, I wouldn't allow myself to place blame elsewhere any longer. I had made my decisions, not Yoda and not even Obi-Wan.
'Maybe in death, she can be of some use to the Empire'
He hadn't known how right he was, because of her death, the people would one day soon have a ruler who was just. One who delt out punishment to fit the crime, mandated laws for the good of the populace, not his own selfish desires.
As I shook off the haze of sleep, though the few snatched hours I'd managed to get had left me perhaps more tired than when I'd collapsed here, I pulled on my black cloak, my boots were still in place I hadn't bothered to discard them. And walked out onto the holodeck. The captain looked up at me nervously from the controls, but said nothing.
"Captain, set course back to Coroscant. I have a duty to perform there and I shall be needing your assistance once we disembark."
"Very good, sir" But I could tell he sensed something different about my composure. The way he couldn't resist eyeing me for just that snatched few moments as he bustled about. I ignored him, turning and taking my usual place.
Some time passed this way, with the crew, even the droids seemingly treading lightly around me, sensing some disturbance and fearing for their lives. They needn't worry. The murderous glare they saw hiding in the depths of my eyes had focus on one target in particular.
The comm bleeped to my side and I reached to activate, watching as the image of my Master ..or so he thought himself to be, appeared.
"Status report!" He barked, in a tone that said he was in no mood for idle chatter, which I took to be a good thing, for I would have little to say at this juncture.
"Master Yoda is no longer on Degobah, my Master. The locals there assume him dead, but I have it on authority that he is on Coroscant, I am headed there now."
'Good authority? Whos authority would that be, my young friend?"
"There is a seer, I have spoken to her and she's told me his whereabouts." I would not tell him of the Star of Morgmaa, that would be the same as handing over Yoda and any remaining Jedi to his waiting hands. I had already all but destroyed them, I wouldn't let it happen again.
I knew I was walking a fine line now, between Darkness and Light, between Good and Evil. I couldn't deny the power still tempted me, and I still felt I owed him something, had a duty to perform.
He had saved my life, after all. One does not forget such a debt so quickly.
He smiled a saccerine sweet grin, teeth that I'd never noticed much before suddenly looking yellowed and rotting. His skin sagging from bone in places, looking like it would pull from the bone and drop to the floor at his feet at any moment. I'd never taken the time to really look at him. Though of course, with my many battle scars I wasn't one to talk of such things.
If at all surprised to hear of this seer, he made a good show of knowing of her.
"Ahh yes, the seer. I trust then, that you know where he is, and will act accordingly?"
"Yes, Master, I will go and meet with him now, if he is truly still alive, and bring him back to you."
The emporers face lit up, eyes gleaming white with red lines piercing throughout as they tended to do when he was anxious. "Excellant, do so, capture him as swiftly as possible, I want Master Yoda in my clutches by the end of 2 standard days. No later."
With that, he cut the comm and I watched his image evaporate before slowly sinking back into the chair. This was one moment I'd give anything to remove this wretched helm. If I were capable of it, I'd be sweating profusely, my clothing, everything felt suddenly tight. Cloying, smothering. My nerves on edge, perhaps just fear he would see into my core and know the truth as soon as he reached out to me, but I had been able to keep my shields up around that part of me that hated him.
How long I would be able to continue to do so, I could not know, only that first I must find Yoda. If not for my Masters purpose, for my own peace of mind. I hated the little green jedi knight, always had really, he was a pious, self rightious little thing with no regard for human emotions. But, I couldn't deny that he and the others, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, they were responsible, all of them, for introducing me to the ways of the Force. Without them, there could have never beeen an Anakin Skywalker, Jedi opprentice, not a Darth Vader, Sith. I would still be the angry little slave-boy on Tatooine. Loathe of my station but powerless to change it. The Dark Side had given me power, but the Jedi had given me purpose, a chance to change the world for the better, and..they'd given me Padme. Then promptly tried to take her away again, but I could see the wisdom in their words if I looked deeply enough. Even now, love is ruling my actions. I cannot escape her memory, nor the hatred and boiling anger I feel at her death. Our children, which I had killed the day I Force choked her on the banks of Mustafar.
I wonder what they would have been like. Millions of times since then I have traced every imaginary curve of their tiny faces, an image I've held in my mind for so long, walking on the white sandy beaches of Naboo, holding the hand of one, my arm round Padme as she clasped another tiny hand. They were so beautiful, in my minds eye. Butthen of course, being that they were Padmes children, how could they not be?
Okay, I know this is about two thirds introspection and not exactly action-packed lol..just trying to get myself back into where Anakins head is at, since I haven't done any work on this story in quite some time. The next chapter will be more exciting, promise. 
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See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Vaders_Angel
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
5/10 12:13pm
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Repost
- Date Edited:
5/10 12:13pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Vaders_Angel
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next chapter on Monday..I'm working on it now, though I could really use a beta, if anyone's interested, mainly to look out for such things as story continuity and misspells, as well as a nasty habit I have in the overuse of commas.
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See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Mystralgurl
Registered:
Oct '04
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Date Posted:
5/10 1:37pm
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Repost
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wow. Just.. wow. I've read stories where Padme survives. But never brought back from the dead. Very good so far!
'Maybe in death, she can be of some use to the Empire' sent chills down my spine.
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Finally writing again... Child of the Shadows: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28428878&brd=10476&start=28428884 Sorry, my brain was thinking one thing, and my mouth was saying the same. - Me, after accidentally insulting my mother
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Helen_Taft
Registered:
Mar '08
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Date Posted:
5/11 12:27pm
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Repost
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This is really, really good! I don't normally go for stories written in the first person, preferring third, but you have me hooked. There is a HUGE amount of conflict here and the angst is throughly mined. I can't wait to read where you take this and just had to point out this bit as a wonderful couple of lines: The Dark Side had given me power, but the Jedi had given me purpose, a chance to change the world for the better, and..they'd given me Padme. Then promptly tried to take her away again, but I could see the wisdom in their words if I looked deeply enough. Even now, love is ruling my actions. I cannot escape her memory, nor the hatred and boiling anger I feel at her death.
Great job! 
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Vaders_Angel
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
5/12 9:29pm
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Repost
- Date Edited:
5/13 2:47am (2 edits total)
Edited By:
Vaders_Angel
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Thank you both so much for reading and commenting! I'll do individual replies later on, just want to get this next post up before Raw comes on. Yes, I watch wrestling >.< I'm a 30 yr old geek rofl.
Please forgive any typos/misspellings. I have no beta.
Her body lies on a cold metal slab. Wrists chained as well as her ankles, tightly shackled to the unforgiving steel upon which she lay. Lifeless. Or so it seems. A needle slipped deftly into her arm provides sustaining fluids. And she'd been nearly awake several times, only to be quickly medicated, plunged back into the cold, dark world her fragile psyche now calls home. Her very essence so weak now that it's nearly untracable, even to her pathetic, greiving husband. Her lips, now a pale purplish hue. Having been given only the amount of oxygen absolutely neccesary to sustain her life. For he'd spare not a microb more, the dry, purple lips that had once been a rosy pink, now stand out in sharp contrast to ghostly pale skin that has not seen the light of day in weeks.
Anyone looking on would most assuredly assume her dead. Most would feel sorry for her. Anyone, but him. He enters the chamber where he's kept her body ever since he'd ordered it taken to the morgue, and looks down upon her. His lips drawing together in a grim line.
Darth Vader would by now be on his way to Corascant, he's certain. The seer had directed him as instructed. He feels out briefly, sensing he had the Star of Morgmaa in his possesion.
"Ah, Senator Amidala. So good to see you again. Such a shame you cannot return the compliment." His smile as he moved swiftly up to her prone form was sickening, more of a leer. His hand moving upward, palm stroking over her cheek.
"I do so hate to see you like this, Senator. Such beauty you possess, should not be shackled like an animal." He hissed, his voice soft, but cold. Appropriate, for his mannorisms changed as soon as he entered, now more serpant than human. One would expect her to recoil in disgust if she were capable.
Still she does not move, her eyes slammed tightly shut, breathing supported by a host of machines, remaining even.
"Yet it's a neccesity I'm afraid. You were always the strong willed one, Padme. More full of your own sense of duty than of common sense. I had to get him away from your poisonous influence. He has such potential, you know that as well as I. But you fear that, you cannot stand for the little slave boy to have surpassed you in power and position, so you corrupted him, held him back. Convinced him I meant to harm him when I offered him a gift the likes of which many would sell their very essance for a mere fragment.."
He spat these words at her. Not that she could hear him but that seemed to matter very little.
"With my power I could have given my apprentice anything his heart desires, and you would one day be Empress. But instead you chose to defy me at every turn, try to fill his head with your propoganda."
His hand moves from it's place on her brow, to rest upon her shoulder, and down a little to the small swell of her bosom. It rests there and his smile deepens, thrilling in this, defiling her young body in this small way. Which her husband would never know of. This prompts a little boasting.
"I'll wager you're hoping that your knight in shining armor will sweep in and gallently rescue his fair maiden, aren't you?"
A chuckle steeped in pure wickedness followed this statement which I'm sure he believes is rather witty. Her face remains still, but he could sense her aggitation growing. Surely she would wriggle out of his grasp, if only she could. A thought that thrilled him no end, but he maintained his composure. Turning and walking across the tiny room, he checked over some of the equipment in the room, talking idly over his shoulder.
"I regretfully inform you that Lord Vader will not be joining us anytime soon." He placed great emphasis on stating his apprentices name. The sooner she accepted the new changes, the sooner she could return to him. "In the meantime, Senator, perhaps we should get better acquainted. I know you can hear every word I am speaking." He paused, having let that last statement hang in the air between them. If he didn't know better he'd think she had possibly just flinched slightly. Probably just the lighting in the room.
"I also know ..that it is impossible for you to speak at this time, so why not just listen, hmm? It's not as though you have anything better to do for the time being after all. Now then. I suppose you'll be wondering, what exactly it is that I've done to you. Your ..husband believes you dead after all, so it stands to reason that you are. If not, why would he not have sensed you in The Force, hmm? You're wondering why he cannot sense your presence...Well, that is an easy one to answer so perhaps we should start there. I've given you something, putting you in something of a transe. Your entire body is paralized, obviously, can't have you running off after all. " He grinned at her, a little triumphantly. His hand once again beginning its roaming journey over her every curve, exploring all the hills and valleys of her body. A truly a sickening sight.
Mercifully, a knock at the door to this secret chamber, broke the ensuing silence. He drew his hand back sharply. Replacing her garments just so.
"Enter!"
The door was then opened swiftly and in marched two clone troopers, one moving to the Emporers side and informing him that his presence is requested on deck. Lord Vader was on hold to deliver a status report.
"Very well." He glared at the clone, whos eyes had of course fallen on Padmes sleeping form, surprise evident. "Tell no one what you see here." Palpatine snapped.
His tone gave no room for further discussion. The clone merely nodded. "Yes, my Lord."
Satisfied, he took his leave, ordering the nurse droid to re enter and continue her vigile and care over Padme. "Let no one enter here. If anyone attempts to enter in my absence, I'm to be informed immediately."
The robotic voice replied affirmatively and he took his leave, hurrying up to the deck.
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See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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Helen_Taft
Registered:
Mar '08
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Date Posted:
5/13 2:22am
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Repost
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Yay! Padme isn't dead, but it's seriously creepy that Palpatine is mauling her. I hope Anakin cuts his hands off *grr* or better yet, Padme does it.  Just a note. You need to edit your title (on the first post) with evey update so that people know at a glance that you have updated. Great update!
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Vaders_Angel
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
5/13 2:41pm
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Updated 5/13
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Helen_Taft posted:
Yay! Padme isn't dead, but it's seriously creepy that Palpatine is mauling her. I hope Anakin cuts his hands off *grr* or better yet, Padme does it. Just a note. You need to edit your title (on the first post) with evey update so that people know at a glance that you have updated. Great update!
Yes Palpy is indeed an evil little thing, isn't he? Don't worry, Padme will be a more active part of the story later on.  As for how exactly though..well, Why don't I just let you continue reading and find out for yourself.  Oops, I've said too much already I think.
Thanks for that tip about the title, I had forgotten to do that, it's been awhile since I posted fics on these boards regularly lol.
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See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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JediMasterRev
Registered:
Dec '04
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Date Posted:
5/13 9:28pm
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Updated 5/13
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Very chilling introspection. I love how you are taking time to really thread through the heart of Anakin. I can literally feel the misery and pain dripping from him. The detail you are putting into each post shows your hard work and dedication. Excellent job!
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"This above all, to thine own self be true." Polonius, Hamlet, Act I, Scene III For the Love of the Queen: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24151408/p1/?0 The Naboo Chronicles: http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/18644312/?162
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Mystralgurl
Registered:
Oct '04
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Date Posted:
5/18 9:48am
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Updated 5/13
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*shudder*
That was very descriptive. In a disturbing way. Poor Padme! Anakin needs to come rescue her and live happily ever after.. 
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Finally writing again... Child of the Shadows: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28428878&brd=10476&start=28428884 Sorry, my brain was thinking one thing, and my mouth was saying the same. - Me, after accidentally insulting my mother
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Vaders_Angel
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
5/20 10:09pm
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Updated 5/13
- Date Edited:
5/20 10:16pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Vaders_Angel
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Thanks everyone for your comments, I'm glad you're enjoying this story!
Okay, finally got inspiration to do the next piece. Big thanks to KELIA for stepping in to Beta this fic. 
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The way his hand gracefully swirled over the roundness of her belly was almost hypnotic. The contractions had begun to get really heavy only an hour ago and they'd decided to put off going to the hospital until the last possible second. Or rather, she'd decided. So he had to settle for this, rocking back and forth with her cradled in his arms while she moaned her way through them. It hurt to see her in this much pain, but he had to remind himself it was for their child, bringing into the world a small fragment of their love in human form, a son for him to teach all the wonders of growing up into a decent, respectable man. Or a daughter for them to pamper beyond all tolerance, treating her like the precious princess she is. He felt slightly sorry for any boys a daughter of his brought home in future. The thought made him chuckle and she looked back at him incredulously. A frown and she spoke through gritted teeth as the next wave tapered slowly off, though it sure was taking its time.
"Well I'm glad you are finding something funny about this! Oh Force, it hurts!!"
What followed were a string of curses he hadn't even known she'd heard in her life. Such words were usually reserved for taverns and flesh houses. Still, he could only guess the pain she was in right now, so, he supposed, just imagining it, that he would find it rather difficult maintaining his composure too.
Padme had long ago put her foot down. She refused to allow drugs of any kind into her system, including pain relievers, though she was not opposed to his loaning a soothing hand, reaching out with the Force to ease the pain a little. Mainly because, he isn't telling her that that's what he is doing. Just a slow, gentle massage of her belly, nothing more....Right.
He can't help smirking a little from behind her as she seems to compose herself almost seconds after he does so, straightening herself a little and looking at him rather sheepishly. Obviously still very uncomfortable, but at least she's able to speak again. She murmurs something about it being 'not so bad now' which makes him grin, though he hides it well by pulling her closer and burying his face in her neck for a moment. She'd began having the contractions on a much lighter scale at about ten pm last night, waking him out of a light sleep to tell him she was badly in need of a backrub. He'd gladly given it and they'd fallen back to sleep, or at least, he had. She was apparently up and walking round to relieve the tension in her lower back.
It was now 2 pm, and they'd gotten steadily more intense. She asked him in a low, somewhat humiliated tone, to aid her into the 'fresher and of course he shot up out of that chair and to her side in a heartbeat. "This is so embarrassing!" She wailed.
He merely smiled, telling her there's nothing to be embarrassed about. It was partly his fault she was in this predicament after all. That worked, at last bringing a soft, tired giggle. That giggle was something all too rare over the past few months and he cherished it, drawing it into his heart to keep. Her laughter was a gift to him, it felt like…home.
Levity was immediately cut off though by a gasp, as she stopped in her tracks and he had to tighten his grip on her shoulders a little before she slumped to the floor, knees weakening with the pain as another contraction set in for a nice thirty second stay. Again he rubbed his hand along her back, helping her through it as she stood there, hands gripping the wall to balance herself.
He continued the massage, murmuring how much he loved her, how proud he was of her and how very soon they'd have a child of their own. "The most important, precious gift anyone has ever given me. I hope he has your eyes." His hand moved up and over her cheek, her jaw line, stroking over her temple. A smile into her eyes as he brushes one of her long, silky tendrils back from her face. Her expression was pained, nose scrunched up and eyes watery. His own eyes were misting over slightly, seeing her in obvious agony, though he knew it was bound to get worse before it got better. They hadn't even really 'begun' yet, this was just the preliminary.
"I have to..fresher..now!" Panted through clenched teeth, and they continued the slow journey all of ten standard feet toward the small closet. He helped her inside, hating to leave her alone right now but he most certainly wasn't going to stand there and watch her. Instead he settled for standing guard right outside the door, waiting for her signal. She took quite awhile in there, much longer than usual, the pain making her move far more slowly. He wished there were more he could do at this moment than sit there and try to ease her agony, or help her walk. She was depending upon him, but, he really had no idea what for. What exactly is the father supposed to do in this situation. He supposed, 'whatever she asked of him', was likely the answer he'd receive if he were to ask any father. And he was already doing that. Had been doing that since the day they'd married.
And then, it came.
He heard the door to the 'fresher open, and his head snapped in that direction, watching as she emerged. Though she'd been in obvious pain when she'd gone inside, she was now red-faced, tears coursing down her cheeks and as he looked at her with concern, it changed quickly to confusion as her lip began to quiver and she indicated something on the lower half of her blue housedress. He was confused, opening his mouth to speak but as soon as he dropped his gaze to the spot she was pointing at, it clicked. His eyes wide and round as saucers. Fear grabbing hold of his heart which by the way, was now quivering in his throat.
"Your water...broke?"
Through gritted teeth, tears welling up beneath her lids, she looked at him standing there dumbstruck. It was bound to happen, he knew. But this soon? She apparently was running out of patience with his dumbstruck silence, snapping as she spoke.
"It's time to go." Her tone left no room for argument, and her tears were enough, all the persuasion he needed. Shooting over to the closet he yanked out her suitcase which had already been packed by one of the helper droids ages ago, he managed to break the zipper, clothing flying out in all directions, followed by muttered curses which he tried his hardest to keep from his wife’s ears. She had enough to worry about.
"ANIIIII!"
Suitcase forgotten he dashed back over to her, as another wave overtook her, he could feel beneath his fingers, her body tensing up, hand clenching his so hard her already pale knuckles turned an almost ghostly shade of white. As it finally came to an end, he checks on her.
"Will you be alright? I just need to repack the suitcase, I kinda..uh..dropped it." Sheepish grin, and she let out another exhausted chuckle but nods, waving him off with a whispered “hurry.”
He nodded, running over and stuffing everything back in, zipping up the case. Another mad dash over to get her shawl, and he had everything. He'd made sure to get her favorite pale blue one. The one her mother had made her. Placing it over her shoulders as he gently lead her out of their little apartment and out to the transport.
Once inside he gave quick directions to the driver of the air taxi and they sped off. In a way, it was exhilarating, though he'd never tell her so, but this short journey to the hospital was more symbolic to him than he's letting on. It was the first step in the journey toward the rest of their lives together.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*
It felt like I'd been drinking all night, or only been sleeping a few moments when my head jerked upward, yanked from the blissful memory of better times, by the sound of a robotic bleepbleep of the droid I kept with me. My head was pounding but it didn't take long for me to sort it out. The droid moved round the room as though not even noticing I had woken. I looked at it, expecting some news that we were close to home or that there was another call waiting for me. Some explaination for this intrusion, but it didn't come, the droid simply moved about the room tidying up as it usually did each morning. But it wasn't morning yet, was it?
I groaned, shoving up to my feet.
"What's the meaning of this?"
The droid didn't answer, it couldn't, simply going about its task and I couldn't very well get angry with a bucket of bolts when I had built it deliberately without means of speech so I wouldn't be bothered with its idle chatter.
Her face was still swimming before me, in my haze. I pushed it away angrily. I had long ago accepted that love was not something to be ignored or pretended away, as the Jedi believe, but I needed to stay focused. To think of what had happened to her would only bring me grief and anger, throw my focus. Stalking over and checking the time before tending to the usual morning rituals. It was early morning, which surprised me, but I realized, the droid was simply following protocol, programmed to clean his quarters at a certain time each day. Ignoring it, I left the room and exited into the hallway toward the deck, and that's when it hit me. Like a punch to the gut, and brain all at once, the weight of it making me fall back against the wall.
Stunning vision, though hazy I made out her face, and a darkened shape reaching out to her. It left me gasping for air, she was obviously being held down, though her eyes were not opened and she made no move to leave her surroundings. The figure remained shrouded, the image cloudy. It looked menacing, not at all like the droids responsible for inturning the deceased. But the rest of it..her lying on some kind of metal slab. It was surreal, I told myself it couldn't be real. It wasn't a Force vision, it was just my overly active, ever hopeful imagination. Wishful thinking.
"Sir?"
My head jerked up to meet the eyes of the man, as I stood there hunched over, my hand bracing against the wall. Not the most dignified position one expects to find a Lord of the Sith. But he seems to deem it not in his favor to ask questions, and rightly so. Instead merely clearing his throat, gazing at the floor as he informs me we will be landing within the hour. I gasped and he looked a little perplexed. "What is it, Captain?" I bit out impatiently. The vision of Padme still playing heavily on my mind. What could it possibly mean...?
There was a lengthy silence before the Captain broke it. His deep voice slicing into my thoughts, saying the one thing I didn't wish to hear at that moment.
"The Emporer is waiting to hear from you when we touch down. And then he said to inform you that you're to have a day off to visit with your children before continuing with the mission."
This confused me, for he had only last night told me I was to deliver Yoda to him by tomorrow.
Force! I had so hoped for a little time before I'd have to face my children, and tell them that their fathers mistakes had killed their mother. I could only hope, somehow, they wouldn't hate me for it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'd be happy to start a PM list if anyone's interested.
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See user profile for my fics. View my gfx here: http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y294/rhaya/ I'm more than willing to take banner requests ..If you'd like to request, pm me Proud Browncoat - Bring back Serenity now! Padawan of NYCitygurl
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DarthVaderette
Registered:
May '04
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Date Posted:
5/30 1:15pm
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Updated 5/20!
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This is a great story, please PM me with updates. Thanks 
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Anakins_Kiss
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Jan '06
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Date Posted:
5/30 1:44pm
Subject:
RE: In Your Honor - (Ani/Padme -Angst/Drama/Romance) Updated 5/20!
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add me too
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Helen_Taft
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