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Author	Topic: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
Princess_Arulmozhi Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 5/12 6:00am Subject: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	Title: The Lives of Others Author: Princess_Arulmozhi Timeframe: Pre-RotS Characters: Anakin, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Padmé Genre: Introspective? Summary: Anakin holds a conversation. Notes: I intended this as a oneshot, but it grew and grew ... so it'' be 2 parts. All I can say is its based on a controversial character from an epic.And forgive the title Part 1 Anakin sat on one of the topmost spires of the Temple. It was a ridiculous place to sit, if one thought about it. Jedi did not sit upon temple spires. What would the Council have to say to that? What would Obi-wan say, for that matter? He could still hear that stiff, unyielding voice: “Anakin, I’ve told you a hundred times to behave in a manner more worthy of a Jedi …” But perhaps Obi-Wan wouldn't object to sitting on spires - he had been known to do unconventional things in his time, after all. He would object to other things, though. He gritted his teeth. If Obi-Wan knew in exactly what manner of a way he had been behaving … Anakin gave a derisive laugh. What would his erstwhile master say? “Don’t touch her, Anakin. Love is unworthy of a Jedi Knight, Anakin. Pull your mind away from the pleasures of the flesh, Anakin …” He groaned and clutched his hair. The wind whipped around him, tearing at his Jedi robes. As another hand had done, just hours ago. But it had been far less merciful. It had not stopped until … He shivered. No, no. he would not think of her. Her lips, her fingers, the way she had looked in the smoldering firelight. If he did, the need to be with her again would be uncontrollable. Not wise, in the light of his wretched destiny. The rage would rise in him again, rising like a tide and he would be powerless. As usual. Everything seemed to drag him in a dozen different directions, these days. He wasn’t sure he could put up with it. The only time his mind left him in peace was when he was with her. She could still him. He didn’t have to explain anything. And if words failed, there were always other ways. He touched his lips briefly. But oh, it would be so much better if he could just confess something, anything, to someone. The familiar image of Obi-Wan rose within his mind. Unyielding, rigid, disapproval radiating in every gesture. What would Obi-Wan say, if Anakin confessed that he thought about the way Padmé’s skin felt, during important meetings in the Council Chamber? That he envisioned one of their fiery unions when he was forced to walk sedately, careful to keep himself quiet in a meditation chamber? He could picture Obi-Wan’s outrage: it unfolded within his mind’s eyes more clearly than anything else. Obi-Wan would be shocked, yes – but even he had lived long enough to know that such a thing a physical relationship existed. Anakin snorted. But with Obi-Wan, of course, everything had to ascend to a different level. To rise above normal. To be an epitome of self-possession. A Jedi. Insensitive. Arrogant. Haughty. The words formed in his brain. Obi-Wan might scream himself hoarse about compassion – but he would never understand the need for love. Or acceptance. The simple need to feel another’s caress, and a yearning to return it. Sometimes, Anakin envied him. To be so wedded to one’s life, to the exclusion of everything else – was such a thing even possible? And what did you gain from it, after all? Respect and admiration, yes. Anakin himself had that in abundance. But sometime,s just sometimes, when people thought he wasn’t looking … they would have a look in their eyes. As though viewing a miracle that did not happen each day. Anakin snorted. On one of their missions to a prosperous planet, Obi-Wan and he had been pressed with riches in return for their services. Extraordinary services they had turned out to be too – which involved all the usual when it came to their missions: blasters, riots, duels, blood and pain and torture. The spirit of adventure had worn off for both of them; not so for the delighted King and his exhilarated subjects. They had been offered wine, wealth and every luscious female the court could boast of – only to be awed by Obi-Wan’s steadfast refusal. Jedi, quoted Obi-Wan did not hoard possessions. Or wish for females. They had done their duty, and that was all. Anakin himself had little inclination towards finery, and now that Padmé had entered his life, for females either – but he was aware of the worth of what they had been offered. And the King’s subjects had been lavish in their praise for his master. Obi-Wan had been touted, “He who had taken a Terrible Vow.” Because he had refused females, of course, which to them, was something no human in his senses ever did. Anakin shook his head. His own desires now revolved around Padmé, which had made it easy for him to refuse other pleasures. But how or why Obi-Wan refused such things was impossible to fathom. Damn his code of conduct as Jedi – no one should be able to. Other Jedi, he knew, had sometimes succumbed to such lures, and though they had regretted it bitterly later, had been unable to free themselves of fate’s cruel designs. Qui-Gon himself, for all his control over the Force … But I never acted upon it. The voice shook him so much that he jumped, almost toppling off the spire. The wind had died down. He blinked. Had that been the Force? In a manner of speaking. He stilled his jangled nerves, willing himself to calm down. This was not the Force – its voice was more raucous, demanding, and seldom this clear. No, this was familiar; it held tones of gentle affection. He would almost had thought it his mother – Qui-Gon. There it was. A gentle touch, and awareness bloomed within him. A mingled sense of loneliness and love took root within: of lives lost, memories regained, along with an overpowering sense of loyalty. And regret. And wonder. Loyalty to the man who had once plucked him out of a dust-ball. Regret that he had died, and Obi-Wan had been left to train him. Wonder that Qui-Gon could actually communicate, beyond the veil of death. That the Force still held so many mysteries, and that it should choose him to unveil itself. Despite the fact that Qui-Gon had spoken to him sometimes, each time was still a miracle. He felt anew the startling happiness of knowing a man for whom his heart harboured the deepest respect. It eclipsed, for the moment, the fact that never again would Qui-Gon walk the earth. Underneath it all was the knowledge that while Qui-Gon spoke to him, he never did so to Obi-Wan. It filled him with a strange, tingling power. Master Qui-Gon, he breathed. So it is you. Did you wish for someone? Unbidden, remembrance reared its head within Anakin: Hadn’t he just longed for a confidante, someone he could pour his heart out to? Here was someone who understood his motivations far more clearly than anyone living – and to whom nothing need be explained. I did. And I am honoured that you came for me. The voice was silent for a while. It was still a voice; there was no form to go with it. This did not bother Anakin; Qui-Gon rarely came to him as a blue ghost, any way. Perhaps a disembodied voice suited his purposes better. How may I aid you, Anakin? Anakin, not Ani. The discrepancy was niggling, but he had no time for such niceties. I needn’t explain anything to you – you know it all. Do I? You have not taken me much into your confidence. Yet, as you say, I do know. Anakin felt a little disconcerted. If I have not always confided in others, it is their fault as well, not just mine. I begin to see that you’re thinking of a certain person. Obi-Wan, I presume. A flood of resentment rose within Anakin at the mention of the name. You presume correctly, Sir. What has he done this time? The voice held a blend of humour and understanding that was too much to resist. I don’t understand him. Small wonder. I raised him, and I didn’t understand him myself. Anakin paused. But how can that be? You’re a Jedi Master; your knowledge of the Force was complete even when you trained him. How could you not have understood him? He was your padawan. He still is your padawan, his mind added. True. Qui-Gon’s voice was introspective. Until I left, I did not quite know how many doors were closed to me. How many things had been in plain sight. I saw a great many things, yes, but others were not quite so visible. I see. In other words, Obi-wan was a pious little saint from boyhood, and you realized that only when you passed into the Force. The moment he uttered the words, Anakin felt a pang of remorse. Whatever direction his anger took, Qui-Gon did not deserve to be in its path. You forget yourself, Ani. I’m sorry, Master. I am confused. And I confess … Anakin paused again. I don’t know how I can go on. You are a Jedi, Anakin. Surely you have been taught exactly how to go on. Was there a trace of mockery in those words? Anakin bit his lip. Master Qui-Gon, surely you know exactly what direction my life has taken? And how I’m forced to live? I do. And do you … blame me for my choices? Having committed some of the same deeds you did, I can hardly pass judgment on you. Which is what I was saying when I first began to talk to you. You said that you hadn’t acted on your love. But that doesn’t absolve you from pledging yourself to Tahl. True. But love for Tahl was only one of the deeds that took me away from the Jedi Code, Ani. A sharp burst of pain lanced through Anakin. So you blame me for the sandpeople too. I warned you not to act on your anger. Anakin’s fingers curled. You do not have the right to judge me, Master Qui-Gon. True again. There seemed no trace of mortification in Qui-Gon’s voice. Was that what the Force did to you when you died? Rob you of all emotions and leave you a dry android? However, as one who made certain decisions and lived to undergo their consequences, I merely wished to impart some of my lessons to you. I’ve had many of them from Obi-Wan. I can see that you don’t think much of them. I’m sorry if I sound disrespectful, Master Qui-Gon – but Obi-Wan doesn’t understand. I don’t think he ever will. He does understand the life of a Jedi, Ani. I think we both know that that isn’t what I’m talking about, Master. Silence reigned for a while. When I loved Tahl, Anakin, my life as a Jedi retreated to the background. I still wanted to be a guardian of peace, but I knew that my love for Tahl would always occupy a good deal of my mind. No matter the worlds I helped, the disputes I resolved, her well-being would be something I could never put aside. You would have done anything for her, wouldn’t you? Anakin whispered. A single drop of blood on her finger would turn your life upside down. If someone harmed a hair on her head … Yes. And by the same token, if she had wished for something, then I would have been powerless to not grant it. Anakin shrugged. She was a part of your life. She held your heart. He seemed to be talking to himself. She deserved everything you could give her, and more. She loved you too, didn’t she? She did. But then, Tahl would never have asked me anything that would mean going against the Code, Ani. Neither will Padmé. Anakin’s heart filled and brimmed with a queer blend of pride, love and possession. You know what she is. She has never wished for anything but a better life for her people. She is even more bent on it than me. Again, I acknowledge the truth of your words, Ani. But then, I am seeking to question neither Padmé nor Tahl. I am merely trying to tell you the effect of our love for them, on us. Anakin was silent. Love for a woman is a strange thing, Anakin. It is uplifting. Capable of making us better men than we are. But only as long as the object of our affections is unharmed. Imagine Padmé in danger. What would your instincts be? Imagine Obi-Wan in danger as well. Whom would you save first? This is unfair, Master. They are both important to me. As equal as your two eyes, are they? But Ani … already, there is a difference in your mind about them. Already, you distinguish between the two. Padmé might have your heart – but Obi-Wan has long ceased to be your master. You now think of him and the Order the same way. In any case, Obi-Wan has never held the place in your heart that I did, in his. Anakin gritted his teeth. It doesn’t imply that I’ll leave him in a lurch, when-if, he’s in danger. I never have. I notice that you do not deny what I said. Abruptly, Anakin slumped. Are you determined to fight me, Master? If so, I’ll accept defeat. I’ve no intention of going against you, or being disrespectful. If you want to establish that I don’t respect Obi-Wan, so be it. Qui-Gon was silent. Somewhere, in the busy lanes of Coruscant, air-taxis screeched. You know that that is not what I wish to establish. It is true that Jedi advise against strong bonds between themselves – but this is just a route towards gaining compassion towards every life-form. Once you have gained this, then there are no more rules, no more restrictions. It is not love itself they caution against; only the consequences of the result of your love. Anakin smiled wryly. That’s something I never thought you would say, Master. You remember my defiance, I daresay. For all that, I never forsook the Jedi, Ani. I understood the root of their disciplines, the basic tenets. It was the interpretation that I and the Council differed on. Their masters would have understood my arguments. Today’s Jedi are misled. And Obi-Wan is one of them. Anakin. Yes? Look into your heart and answer: Do you really believe that Obi-Wan is indifferent to you? Do you honestly believe him to be a cruel master? Anakin looked down at his fingers. In the light of air-lanes, they appeared bleached and white, lifeless. He remembered how they had shone red the night before, washed in the fire-glow of Padmé’s apartments. Obi-Wan taught me well, he said finally. I see. He fulfilled his promise to you. Silence. Anakin broke out. He doesn’t know, Master. He can never know. He simply doesn’t understand. He won’t try to understand. Padmé or anything. And that makes him inferior. Anakin … Qui-Gon’s voice was tender. How blind we are, when in reality we have the opportunity of seeing so much. I was so, in my time. So are you. If you want to tell me that I’m being stupid, please go ahead. It’s not going to change my opinion. I may be stupid, but I’m right. Do you believe in past lives, Ani? Anakin paused. Such theories were not new to him, but to say that he believed in them was too much. It would be more accurate to say that he hadn’t really given much thought to them. Jedi principles were so many that he invariably took whatever would work at the moment, and left the rest to impulse. I’ve heard that others believe in re-incarnation, he offered hesitantly. But you yourself have no faith in them? Anakin shrugged. Frankly, the idea seemed a little silly, in the light of Coruscant’s present energy and life. Do you? I confess that I spent as little thought as you did when I was alive. I also confess that I have spent quite some thought on it, ever since. Have you never wondered why you were born as a slave? Or why you became a Jedi? Have you ever thought about why some beings are what they are? And why others are not? Why some are insects, while others are Mon Calamari? Anakin shrugged again. The discussion seemed to have meandered away. The slave-topic wasn’t helping. I haven’t, Master. Implied, was the criticism that it held no point. Some feel that every incident in this life is the result of something that happened in a life before, Anakin. Nothing is coincidence, after all. And I have never believed in luck. If we met, it was because of some event that once bound you to me. And Obi-Wan. And Padmé, perhaps. A wry smile appeared on Anakin’s face. Are you suggesting that I and Padmé are in so much trouble because what we may have done in some past life? You must admit that it is a possibility. Rather than a general, vague belief that everything is random. The choices, we make, the emotions we feel, the situations we find ourselves in – they are all connected. With this life, and others. If you have an explanation about why Obi-Wan is the way he is, I shall be glad of it, Anakin said acidly. Impatient, aren’t we? And I probably inherited it from a womp-rat in my past life. Just as Obi-wan inherited a cursed life. Surely you would want to know the bane of his existence? Anakin sat open-mouthed. (tbc...) -----signature----- Perceptions (Xanatos/Obi/Qui/Anakin) AU:http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25276178/p1/?7 - vignette Stones (Li'l Obi/Qui) - http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/23371821/p1/ Best Author, WFFA (BtS) 05/06 Lore-Master to 7
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager Digging out from Fay Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 5/12 6:51am Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	Absolutely lovely, as is all your work! If you're PMing when you update, please put me on the list. -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. They call me NANA Vader. At least she doesn't lack confidence...
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Valairy_Scot Title: PT Rewrite Winner Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 5/12 3:31pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	Golly, Anakin is harsh towards Obi-Wan in this story. Believably so, though wrong...so very wrong. Can't wait for part 2. -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. A million wins; a gazillion "also rans" - not bad at all! So very honored. Thank you!
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 5/12 5:34pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	I loved that Qui-Gon was trying to get Anakin to see Obi-Wan in a new light, not just as his Master but as a person. Anakin is determined to ignore that but I bet Qui-Gon's not going to let go so easily. Great job. Glad to see you writing again. Any chance on updates on your other stories??? -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 6/28/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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dimyavie Registered: May '06	Date Posted: 5/12 7:54pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	I just found this and you already have me hooked! I'm glad that Qui is trying to get Anakin to see Obi differently. Then again, maybe I'm a little biased since the father/son relationship between Qui and Obi is my favorite Also, since you're back, do you plan on updating any of your other stories? They have me interested too! Thanks for writing!
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LuvEwan Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 5/12 11:24pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	Oh this is beautiful so far. I love how you describe Anakin's thoughts--he is wrestling with so many different parts of himself. How can he acknowledge that he loves and respects Obi-Wan if he believes that Obi-Wan is an obstacle between himself and Padme? A huge part of the SW story arc and you describe it in a very lovely, real way. And Qui-Gon's voice is so clear. The words you put in his mouth are perfectly in keeping with his distinct character. I am very curious (and anxious ) to find out what Qui-Gon has in store for Anakin. -----signature----- So it was Anakin's butt after all. He supposed he might take a modicum of comfort from that. -Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, by Matthew Stover
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KELIA Title: Host: 20 Ques Bet Your Knowledge PT Rewrite Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 5/13 3:34am Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	WOW That was amazing. I loved Qui-Gon's gentle admonishing all the while trying to teach Anakin. Imagine Padmé in danger. What would your instincts be? Imagine Obi-Wan in danger as well. Whom would you save first? Something I'm sure Anakin never thought about...but it is a very good point. Please PM me when you update. Looking forward to more -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 Undue Circumstances: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28530583/p1/?10
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ClaudiaR Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 5/13 5:12am Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	SQUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Princess! how great it is to see you posting especially a fic! I loved it, it was a fine moment though I must confess there were many times I wasn't sure if it was Qui-gon talking or someone else! a fine work and nasty cliffie! -----signature----- LURK&STALK It takes a specialist to do it right " Getting to stalk around importantly was quickly becoming the best part of pretending to be a Sith. " Obi-Wan in Deptions by Amrita_Glittersong
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Lolly_Tolly Registered: Apr '08	Date Posted: 5/13 1:58pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	Wow! This is fantastic! Anakin, in my opinion, was always such a whiner! And him discussing a lot of seeming negativities seems in character! Though if that wasn't what you were planning for it to be, then you could just disregard all of that, because I'm biased. May you please PM when you update? -----signature----- Proud to be Padawan of ZaraValinor! Siriwan shipper! Rise and Fall - (Good character bad) ROTS AU http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28470791&brd=10476&start=28584936 Remember Stressed backwards, is DESSERTS!
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ratna Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 5/14 5:25pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	Jedi principles were so many that he invariably took whatever would work at the moment, and left the rest to impulse. Wonderful characterization of Anakin! Of course I beg you to PM me! -----signature----- Faster than the speed of light is the speed of darkness. Faster than the speed of darkness is the speed of thought. Fic linx in my bio
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slow_dawn Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 5/15 8:01pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	This is a really interesting story. I look forward to reading more. -----signature----- O, Life! That persistent struggle which rises slowly with with the warmth of dawn but fades quickly in the twilight of dusk! The Tragedy of Anakin Skywalker??? The Vig Challenge Board - http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/28176650/p1
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monkeykelci Registered: Apr '08	Date Posted: 5/20 11:39pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	Aaaaah. Cliffie! Add me to your PM, please? =] I loved this first bit of your story. Very, very nice. -----signature----- Hockey players wear numbers because you can’t always identify the body with dental records. Padawan Learner to Oddball_62!! =]
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Gkilkenny Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 5/21 12:00am Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	It sounds like Anakin is going to learn some home truths about Obi-Wan. interesting. -----signature----- Padawan to p_stotts Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear. Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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PadawanKitara Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 5/21 8:24pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	Hurray- you have posted a great new story -----signature----- Courtier of the Royal Order of Shambling Dufi We are Dufi...Resistance is Futile! UCLA BRUINS
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corellian-jedi Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 5/21 9:22pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	Stunning as always. I've missed so many great stories in my long absence. It's a lot of fun to catch up! I look forward to more. -----signature----- In hatred as in love, we grow like the thing we brood upon. What we loathe, we graft into our very soul.
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Anakin_Panda Registered: Nov '06	Date Posted: 5/22 4:14pm Subject: RE: The Lives of Others - (Anakin/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)
	Woah. So very deep. I really like where you're going with this and I can't wait to read more. Please update soon!
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