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Author	Topic: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse, updated 6/5
VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 5/21 10:43am Subject: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse, updated 6/5 - Date Edited: 6/5 6:20am (3 edits total) Edited By: VaderLVR64
	Title: Weekend at Windu’s Author: VaderLVR64 Characters: Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker and an inconvenient corpse. Timeframe: ROTSish Genre: Short story insanity. This story has no redeeming values other than I hope to have fun with it. Notes: Inspired by a movie that probably never got recognized when the Oscars rolled around – Weekend at Bernie’s Weekend at Windu’s “Oh, this is really very bad.” It was Mace Windu who made the announcement. Those doleful words fell heavily between the three men. “Don’t look at me!” Anakin protested loudly. “This isn’t my fault.” “For once,” Obi-Wan might have muttered under his breath. “Miracles do happen, I suppose.” “All right you two,” Mace Windu said with evident disapproval. “Fighting amongst ourselves obviously won’t solve this problem.” “It’s not like it’ll make it any worse,” Anakin pointed out dryly and with some honesty. “Be quiet, Anakin,” Obi-Wan ordered tersely. “For once in your life, just be quiet and let someone with real brains do the thinking.” “Fine,” Anakin snapped. “When they get here, let me know.” Mace heaved a much put-upon sigh and rolled his eyes. “I see now why Master Yoda assigned me to you two.” “What did you ever do to him?” Anakin asked with a smirk. “That’s what I keep asking myself,” Mace replied with a shake of his head. “Master Windu,” Obi-Wan broke in. “If I may… We still have a bit of a situation on our hands.” As one, all three men turned and stared at their problem. Palpatine, Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, was sprawled in a large chair with a rather smug smile on his face, a bottle of ale still clutched in his hand – and also quite appallingly and unexpectedly dead. “The Council isn’t going to like this,” Anakin observed. “Not one bit.” “You think?” Mace snapped with a snort. “For once, you’re the master of understatement, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said. Anakin leaned down and frowned at Palpatine. “He’s starting to look a little…dusky.” He grinned up at his Master. “Sort of like a Twi’Lek.” He pointed. “Just around the lips mostly,” he added helpfully. “Thank you for the update, Anakin,” Obi-Wan hissed. “This could start a war,” Mace replied worriedly. “In case you haven’t noticed, Master Windu,” Anakin murmured. “We’re already at war. That’s why we asked for this meeting in the first place, isn’t it?” “Thank you for stating the obvious, Anakin…again,” Obi-Wan shot back. Anakin sighed and shook his head. “You know what I meant, Master. You’ve been in a mood ever since Master Windu here joined us.” The younger man glanced at the Koran Jedi Master. “So…is there some sort of bad blood between you two?” “That’s none of your business,” Obi-Wan huffed. “And besides, that’s hardly pertinent to the moment.” Anakin grinned and nodded his head. “So there is something.” His tone was smug as he shot a speculative glance between the two men. “This might turn out to be a good weekend, after all.” “With a dead Chancellor sitting in the living area?” Mace asked dryly. “I hardly think this is a promising start.” Anakin shrugged. “As weekends go, I’ve had worse.” “Do not even think about regaling us with sordid stories of your illicit trips to the underground of Coruscant right now, Anakin Skywalker.” “You’re just sore because I have so much more fun than you do,” Anakin retorted, hooking his thumbs in his utility belt. He shook his head and clucked his tongue. “Really, Master, envy is certainly not becoming of a Jedi Master,” he chided in the calm tones of a Jedi at his best, which he ruined by openly smirking. “Neither is killing your Padawan,” Obi-Wan replied grimly. “But I’m willing to consider it.” “Could we please get back to the situation at hand?” Mace interrupted impatiently. “Oh yeah,” Anakin muttered. “Dead chancellor.” He shook his head. “A hell of a thing, don’t you think?” “Not exactly what I expected when we invited the Chancellor here to this retreat to try and work out some of our differences,” Obi-Wan agreed dryly. “You know what they’re going to say, don’t you?” Mace asked softly, looking at the two Jedi. “That he died in bed with a pleasure worker?” Anakin guessed with a snort. “That would be hilarious! I’d love to see the spin his publicity people put on that one.” “That we killed him,” Obi-Wan said. “Could we tell them he died that way?” Anakin asked. “You know, just for laughs?’ “No,” Mace replied. Anakin pouted and Obi-Wan gave him a swift elbow in the ribs. “Ouch!” “Will you shut up and listen to Master Windu, please?” Anakin assumed an overly serious expression and nodded. “Of course, Master, I live to serve.” He bowed to Mace. “Please…share your wisdom with us, oh great Jedi Master.” “I might just turn my back if Master Obi-Wan wants to commit a little Padawan-cide,” Mace warned him. “Some people have no sense of humor,” Anakin grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and scowling at his companions. “We’re Jedi,” Mace and Obi-Wan said together. They both winced when Anakin laughed at them. “Okay, so what do we do about the Palpatine popsicle here?” Anakin asked bluntly. Obi-Wan sighed and shook his head. “A little respect for the dead, all right, Anakin?” “If we let it be known that he’s dead, there is going to be a very large problem for the Order,” Mace said. “What do you mean, if we let it be known?” Obi-Wan asked in disbelief, while Anakin merely looked intrigued. Master Windu began to pace, his hands clasped behind his back as he carefully avoided stepping on Palpatine’s feet. He frowned thoughtfully as he walked, speaking a word here and there that made little sense to either of the other men. “A publicity nightmare…” Neatly, Mace stepped over the edge of the dead man’s robe and continued pacing. “We’ll take the blame of course.” He shook his head. “We always do – stupid reporters!” Anakin opened his mouth to speak, but Obi-Wan quickly shook his head. “Don’t interrupt his train of thought,” he whispered. “I just wanted to-” “Sit down. Shut up. I’ll tell you when to talk,” Obi-Wan said tersely. Anakin started to protest and then took a good look at Obi-Wan’s face. He meekly sat down and folded his hands in his lap, looking very much like a chastised youngling. “There’s a solution, of course,” Mace muttered, still pacing. "I've just got to find it." “Of course there is, Master Windu,” Obi-Wan said soothingly. "And if anyone can find it, you can, Master Windu." "When are you two tying the knot?" Anakin asked, scrunching up his face in a kiss. "I said to be quiet," Obi-Wan snapped. “How come you get to talk?” Anakin asked indignantly. Obi-Wan hissed “Shush!” and put a finger to his lips. When he turned his back, Anakin made a face at him and gave an obscene gesture that would have gotten him arrested on a few systems. Still, he felt better for having done so. Abruptly, Mace stopped pacing. “I’ve got it!” “Excuse me, Master,” Obi-Wan said patiently. “But you’ve got what exactly?” “The answer to our dilemma here,” Mace replied. “I can help you hide his body,” Anakin offered helpfully. “I even know a guy…” Both Masters turned to glare at Anakin, who shrank down into his seat. “I was only offering…” “Never mind that now,” Mace said, waving his hands. “I’ve got a real solution.” “And that would be?” Anakin asked. “Simple. We pretend he isn’t dead,” Mace replied. -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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ZaraValinor Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 5/21 10:51am Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	This is freakin' hilarious. Oh my gosh, I snorted at my desk at work trying to withhold my laughter. Please PM me when you update. -----signature----- Proud Master to Meredith_Kenobi & Lolly_Tolly "He full-on Obi-Wan'd me!" Dean Winchester - Supernatural
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Teresa Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 5/21 11:38am Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse - Date Edited: 5/21 11:44am (2 edits total) Edited By: Teresa
	Shrug....I thought Anakin's idea about the pleasure worker had merit actually! Of course, if they knew he was a Sith they could also describe an epic battle and the reporters would spin the story of the new "Saviors of the Republic" I can see the interviews now! All in all, it's fun to read a story where three of my favorite jedi are trying to work together .......though Anakin has best be careful not to invoke that threat of Padawan-cide. Ponders if Qui-Gon ever had a similar conversation with Mace at some point. He seemed a little too familiar with the situation. Then again, as a council member and Yoda's second he's probably seen quite a bit over the years. Not to mention he'd had a padawan himself! Maybe at some point all masters have those feelings! Many thanks for writing this, and I can't wait to see how the boys get out of this one! PS Hmmmmm.....as inconvient as he is being a corpse, Palpy was much more so as Darth Sidious!
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Valairy_Scot Title: PT Rewrite Winner Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 5/21 12:16pm Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	Oh, dear Force - this is a shoo-in for best humor of the year. “Be quiet, Anakin,” Obi-Wan ordered tersely. “For once in your life, just be quiet and let someone with real brains do the thinking.” It's about time Obi speaks the truth to that boy. Palpatine, Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, was sprawled in a large chair with a rather smug smile on his face, a bottle of ale still clutched in his hand – and also quite appallingly and unexpectedly dead. “The Council isn’t going to like this,” Anakin observed. “Not one bit.” Really?!?!? “You’re just sore because I have so much more fun than you do,” Anakin retorted, hooking his thumbs in his utility belt. He shook his head and clucked his tongue. “Really, Master, envy is certainly not becoming of a Jedi Master,” he chided in the calm tones of a Jedi at his best, which he ruined by openly smirking. “Neither is killing your Padawan,” Obi-Wan replied grimly. “But I’m willing to consider it.” Ah, think of the all the trouble you would have saved the galaxy from. “Will you shut up and listen to Master Windu, please?” Anakin assumed an overly serious expression and nodded. “Of course, Master, I live to serve.” He bowed to Mace. “Please…share your wisdom with us, oh great Jedi Master.” “I might just turn my back if Master Obi-Wan wants to commit a little Padawan-cide,” Mace warned him. “Some people have no sense of humor,” Anakin grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and scowling at his companions. All right - way to go Windu! Obi-Wan hissed “Shush!” and put a finger to his lips. When he turned his back, Anakin made a face at him and gave an obscene gesture that would have gotten him arrested on a few systems. Still, he felt better for having done so. So, who taught Anakin that? Absolutely hilarious! -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping. Writes on inspiration, not a schedule. Proud master of several padawans
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Anakins_Kiss Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 5/21 12:46pm Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	the Palpatine popsicle? No you didn't! That is gold! pure gold! I could imagine Anakin saying that. He is such a bad boy. Great story so far. I know this is going to be as funny as the movie was. -----signature----- Learn to HATE Padme. http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27568604/p1/?1 STAR WARS MUSIC VIDEOS http://www.youtube.com/user/luckiwondr
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Lolly_Tolly Registered: Apr '08	Date Posted: 5/21 1:35pm Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	This was wonderful! “Will you shut up and listen to Master Windu, please?” Anakin assumed an overly serious expression and nodded. “Of course, Master, I live to serve.” He bowed to Mace. “Please…share your wisdom with us, oh great Jedi Master.” “I might just turn my back if Master Obi-Wan wants to commit a little Padawan-cide,” Mace warned him. I found that part absolutely hilarious! If you do have a PM list, could you please add me? -----signature----- Proud to be Padawan of ZaraValinor! Siriwan shipper! Rise and Fall - (Good character bad) ROTS AU http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28470791&brd=10476&start=28584936 Remember Stressed backwards, is DESSERTS!
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 5/21 2:05pm Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	Pretend he isn't dead. Gotta love it. The banter was great, too. Plus Palpatine is dead! Hurray for that. Great job. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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Helen_Taft Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 5/21 3:43pm Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	You were so channelling my eldest son here with Anakin. I could totally relate to Obi-Wan LMAO! Also a fic that begins with a corpsified Palpatine is always a welcome one to me. More, more! -----signature----- Purgatory (A/P AU) - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28225076/ I Asked An Angel If I Could Fly (SPN) - http://boards.theforce.net/non_star_wars_fan_fiction/b10808/28873939/p1/?0
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Alexis_Wingstar Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 5/21 4:39pm Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	Morbid humor. Gotta love it. My favorite line: “Oh yeah,” Anakin muttered. “Dead chancellor.” He shook his head. “A hell of a thing, don’t you think?” I can't wait for more. Can you PM me when you update? -----signature----- "Change. It can be good. It can be bad. It can be expected or come as a thief in the night. Invited or not, it always comes." ~Koria "Tender Shadows", co-written w/ The Musical Jedi Padawan to DarthIshtar NaNoWriMo participant 2nd year in a row.
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Star Wars Trivia Hostess Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 5/21 5:05pm Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	Okay, I started reading it and then recommended it to someone. She grew skeptical and I went "It kills off Palpatine in the first page and I still love it! That has to say something about it!" She couldn't argue with that. -----signature----- "You are some self-important encyclopedia with too much time on his hands. I will see to it personally that you are used for spare parts every time my speeder needs an overhaul. You and that overpriced forklift out there." ~Dr. Bel Maden
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Anakin_Panda Registered: Nov '06	Date Posted: 5/21 6:00pm Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	XDDD Woah. That's really hysterical! I love all of the bickering, especially between Obi-Wan and Anakin. Will this continue?
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corellian-jedi Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 5/21 9:28pm Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	As soon as I saw the title, I knew we were in for a bit of insanity. "Really, Master, envy is certainly not becoming of a Jedi Master," he chided in the calm tones of a Jedi at his best, which he ruined by openly smirking. "Neither is killing your Padawan," Obi-Wan replied grimly. "But I'm willing to consider it." Oh, Obi-Wan, je t'adore. -----signature----- In hatred as in love, we grow like the thing we brood upon. What we loathe, we graft into our very soul.
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KELIA Title: Moderator: Fan Fiction Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 5/22 4:30am Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	We pretend he isn’t dead I can't wait to see how they pull that off! I rather liked Anakin's solution. The press would be so busy imagining all the details of Palpatine's relationship with the pleasure worker, they'd forget all about the Jedi. Talk about a perfect plan! Please PM me when you update. Looking forward to more -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 Undue Circumstances: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28530583/p1/?10
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Gina Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 5/22 6:54am Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	Hilarious start, K! You know I expect PMs when you update! -----signature----- A long time ago in a house far away, there was a mother who was strong in the ways of the Force. She "forced" her sons to clean their room, she "forced" her sons to behave. - Part of a story written by my 9 yr. old sons I found while cleaning their desks
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Star Wars Trivia Hostess Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 5/22 8:59am Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	Oh, I'm sorry. Can I get a PM when this is updated? -----signature----- "You are some self-important encyclopedia with too much time on his hands. I will see to it personally that you are used for spare parts every time my speeder needs an overhaul. You and that overpriced forklift out there." ~Dr. Bel Maden
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slow_dawn Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 5/22 2:11pm Subject: RE: Weekend at Windu's - short story, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace and a corpse
	Palpatine, Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, was sprawled in a large chair with a rather smug smile on his face, a bottle of ale still clutched in his hand – and also quite appallingly and unexpectedly dead. This story is really crazy in the best sense of the word! I love it! -----signature----- O, Life! That persistent struggle which rises slowly with with the warmth of dawn but fades quickly in the twilight of dusk! The Tragedy of Anakin Skywalker??? The Vig Challenge Board - http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/28176650/p1
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