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Topic:
Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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JediNat
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
6/21 8:50pm
Subject:
Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
- Date Edited:
7/15 4:24am (8 edits total)
Edited By:
JediNat
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This is my first time posting and writing a story here so here it is:
Disclaimer: G. Lucas owns all
19 BBY
Dear Journal,
I just got this great new look! It’s the all black robes and I got a really cool name. Darth Vader, sounds much better then Anakin Skywalker, less whiny and more powerful! Also it justs screams theme music, I've got to hire someone to write it. And wait until I tell Padmé. Oh wait, she’s still believes that the Jedi are good, and the Sith are evil! Isn’t that so stupid! Maybe I shouldn’t tell her, and if I do, maybe I should say: “I going to end this war.” Yeah that’ll work; she’s a peace-loving senator so she’ll buy it! (I hope) I wonder the kid we have will be that dumb, hope not! Speaking of which Padmé said that if it was a boy we name him Luke which supposed to mean light in Nubian, isn’t that a strange name for a son of a Sith Lord?! And a girl, well I hope we won’t have to go down that path! And now since I have this journal NOT a diary, (a diary sounds too girly) I can reveal my feelings without the chance of some author getting hold of it and post it on some message boards. Kid’s today and their crazy HoloNet! Ah, my master is calling me so got to run!
-Darth Vader-
Comments, complaints, anything I'll take it!
PM List:
VaderLVR64
Lisbev
JediMasterAmanda
wolf_kenobi
Darth_Leia_6669
Anakins_Kiss
JediXManSerenaKenobi
alderaanprincess
dm1
-JediNat-
-----signature-----
May the Force be with you!
I'm a little teapot short and stout here is my handle and here's a note from my shrink he says I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster oven *crazy laughter* -Dot
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VaderLVR64
Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots
Registered:
Feb '04
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Date Posted:
6/22 6:28am
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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Loved it! Please PM me when you update. 
-----signature-----
If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories.
Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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JediNat
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
6/22 6:30am
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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 Yay I have a reader! *does happy dance*
And sure I'll PM you! 
-----signature-----
May the Force be with you!
I'm a little teapot short and stout here is my handle and here's a note from my shrink he says I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster oven *crazy laughter* -Dot
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JediNat
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
6/22 7:52am
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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Here's another update, hope you like!
19 BBY
Dear Journal,
I just got the order from my master, he says that the Jedi have betrayed us and are traitors to the republic so he’s sending me to the Jedi Temple to catch them “unawares”. That means killing everyone in the Temple even the infants and younglings! But at least I get to pay back all the stupid Jedi who underestimated me and my amazing power! If Ferris Olen is there he is so dead it’s not funny, it’s hilarious!!!! And luckily for me I have the clones; the great 501st legion, maybe I’ll call them something cool like “Vader’s Fist” yeah that’ll sound awesome! They are here to help me out the Jedi have no chance! So all you Jedi out there better look out because you’re gonna get owned! And my master said he had something planned for the Jedi in battle, hope it’s not a party because he didn’t invite me!! I hate not being invited to parties!
-Darth Vader-
Still 19 BBY!!!
Dear Jounral,
This is the worst day in my life!!!!! With the possible exception of the day I found out where babies came from and I didn’t have a father. That story scared me for life! So after me and the Vader’s Fist (isn’t that a sweet name!) destroyed the Temple. My master contacted all of the clones and told them to execute order 66. I’m thinking; “What are the other orders 1- 65?!” Maybe their orders to put a caf shop on every street on every planet, or to t-pee certain senator’s homes or to make everyone listen to him doing karaoke! Believe me its terrifying! So after that I got to go on another killing spree which is now a lot of fun!!! So I killed all of the Separatist leaders including Nute Gunray saying: “Lord Sidious promised us peace, we only wanted to AH! And I slash my lightsaber and he’s dead! Yay!
And so after that’s done I see that all too familiar Nubian ship; Padmé’s here!! She runs up to me saying how Obi-Wan saying terrible things and me killing younglings and blah, blah, blah!! No wonder she’s only had two boyfriends! Me and some artsy boy Palo, Polo, Pulo or whatever his name was. And then Obi-Wan pops up out of her ship! So I choke Padmé with this really cool Force power, I think that is gonna become my signature move! Then Obi-Wan plays the hero and says; “Let her go!” And now let the lightsaber battle begin, Obi-Wan is gonna get bested by his former Padawan and now awesome, fantastic, amazing Sith Lord!
-Darth Vader-
-----signature-----
May the Force be with you!
I'm a little teapot short and stout here is my handle and here's a note from my shrink he says I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster oven *crazy laughter* -Dot
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VaderLVR64
Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots
Registered:
Feb '04
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Date Posted:
6/22 9:21am
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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My master contacted all of the clones and told them to execute order 66. I’m thinking; “What are the other orders 1- 65?!”
Good question. 
Great update.
-----signature-----
If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories.
Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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Lisbev
Registered:
May '08
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Date Posted:
6/22 10:44am
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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This is funny 
PM list, please? 
-----signature-----
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JediNat
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
6/22 1:08pm
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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Wow I have two readers?! *does longer happy dance*
VaderLVR64 I've always wanted to know that to.
Lisbev Glad you think so! And sure your on the PM list!
-JediNat-
-----signature-----
May the Force be with you!
I'm a little teapot short and stout here is my handle and here's a note from my shrink he says I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster oven *crazy laughter* -Dot
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wolf_kenobi
Registered:
Nov '07
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Date Posted:
6/22 1:25pm
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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Vader certainly has an, hmm, unusual perspective on the events of ROTS. 
"And now since I have this journal NOT a diary, (a diary sounds too girly) I can reveal my feelings without the chance of some author getting hold of it and post it on some message boards. Kid’s today and their crazy HoloNet!"
Hysterical! PM list please?
-----signature-----
Is God willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God. -Epicurus
Proud Vegan
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JediMasterAmanda
Registered:
Sep '05
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Date Posted:
6/22 1:30pm
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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I bet Order 23 was to eat cake and ice cream
hmm ice cream...
anyway good story I find it very interesting
-----signature-----
Jedi Padawan--/---\--Trust in the Force "You have that, 'we're in trouble' look." -Snips "There's a look?" -Skyguy "You can't miss it." -Snips TISSI-2 at your service. 
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JediNat
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
6/22 1:36pm
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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More readers?! *faints*
wolf_kenobi Glad you liked it and your added to the list
JediMasterAmanda I wish!  ice cream! And you're added to the list too!
And about updates, don't know if they'll be regular I have a lot of stuff going on.
-JediNat-
-----signature-----
May the Force be with you!
I'm a little teapot short and stout here is my handle and here's a note from my shrink he says I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster oven *crazy laughter* -Dot
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JediNat
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
6/23 9:12am
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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Here's another update. Enjoy!
It’s Still 19 BBY!
Dear Journal,
This now the worst possible day of my life!!!!!! So here I am fighting this long hard grueling battle on a lava planet! A lava planet is the worst place possible for a huge movie-like confrontation! Because at any moment you, your clothes and any part of you could catch on fire! I wish I had paid attention during the fire safety class in training! Was it; Roll Drop Stop, or Run Around Like A Mad Gundark, I can’t remember! I hoped I didn’t have to use this skill. (man was I wrong!) So Obi-Wan and I are fighting and to me I could hear a chorus in the background! But then again it might just be the Mustafarian operas, and they are some of the loudest in the galaxy! After what seems like 10 hours of fighting Obi-Wan jumps onto s little bit of land exclaiming; “I have the high ground!”
So I, be a total idiot and jump to the same bit of land and he cuts off my arm (yes the other REAL one!) and both of my legs! And then he goes away screaming; “You were brother Anakin, I loved you!” And now in hindsight I find that really creepy, but if here really did love me why did he leave me there! So finally my master comes to my rescue. Yay! And now I’m basically General Grievous but with a little (and only a little) more intact. Okay I have my skin intact but now I have robotic arms and legs, and this really cool new suit with this really deep booming voice. I can’t really sneak up on anyone because of this breathing! And remember Padmé, well she kind of died! Master Hideous said I killed her! So I feel complete and utter anguish and scream: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! For the longest time and I swear I heard someone laughing. Don’t laugh, I know you’re laughing! Do you want to see a Sith Lord cry?!?! More after I’m done crying! You meanies!
-Darth Vader-
-JediNat-
-----signature-----
May the Force be with you!
I'm a little teapot short and stout here is my handle and here's a note from my shrink he says I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster oven *crazy laughter* -Dot
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JediMasterAmanda
Registered:
Sep '05
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Date Posted:
6/23 9:47am
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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he has emotional issues
poor Obi having to leave him to the lava like that.
and yes Vader someone was laughing. it was your so-called master who was laughing
-----signature-----
Jedi Padawan--/---\--Trust in the Force "You have that, 'we're in trouble' look." -Snips "There's a look?" -Skyguy "You can't miss it." -Snips TISSI-2 at your service.
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JediNat
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
6/23 9:55am
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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Yes doesn't he have issues! 
-JediNat-
-----signature-----
May the Force be with you!
I'm a little teapot short and stout here is my handle and here's a note from my shrink he says I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster oven *crazy laughter* -Dot
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VaderLVR64
Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots
Registered:
Feb '04
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Date Posted:
6/23 11:56am
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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So here I am fighting this long hard grueling battle on a lava planet! A lava planet is the worst place possible for a huge movie-like confrontation! Because at any moment you, your clothes and any part of you could catch on fire! I wish I had paid attention during the fire safety class in training! Was it; Roll Drop Stop, or Run Around Like A Mad Gundark, I can’t remember!
Don't you hate it when you forget something that might have proven useful!?
-----signature-----
If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories.
Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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JediNat
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
6/23 12:40pm
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
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VaderLVR64 Thats why you should pay attetion in important classes! Thanks, glad you liked the update!
-JediNat-
-----signature-----
May the Force be with you!
I'm a little teapot short and stout here is my handle and here's a note from my shrink he says I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster oven *crazy laughter* -Dot
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Lisbev
Registered:
May '08
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Date Posted:
6/23 6:40pm
Subject:
RE: Journal (NOT a diary!) of a Sith Lord (DV's Journal) Humor ROTS-ROTJ
|
And remember Padmé, well she kind of died! Master Hideous said I killed her! So I feel complete and utter anguish and scream: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! For the longest time and I swear I heard someone laughing. Don’t laugh, I know you’re laughing.
Oh heck DV, drama & paranoia are not a good mix, may I recommend some psychotherapy?
Hilarious
Great update.
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