| Author |
Topic:
If I'm Not Made For You - Anakin/Padme Vig/Songfic - AOTC
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Anakin_Heartbreaker
Registered:
Sep '04
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Date Posted:
7/5 3:58pm
Subject:
If I'm Not Made For You - Anakin/Padme Vig/Songfic - AOTC
- Date Edited:
7/5 4:02pm (3 edits total)
Edited By:
Anakin_Heartbreaker
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Author - Anakin_Heartbreaker
Title - If I'm Not Made For You
Characters - Anakin, Padme
Genre - Vig, Angst, Songfic
Time Frame - AOTC
Disclaimer - The song If You're Not The One is by Daniel Bedingfield. Lucas owns Star Wars, I'm just a fan with a story to tell. 
Summary - Missing scene in AOTC. Anakin comes to terms with living without Padme.
Hi everyone - I had written this and then I don't know what happened to it. I came across it again, and since I'm leaving the boards in August, I wanted to make sure that I post everything I have before leaving.
If I’m not made for you
The silky velvet drapes gently fluttered in the cool breeze, caressing Anakin’s silhouette, whilst he stood motionless in the heavenly glow of the moon. His deep blue eyes deceivingly allowed the tears to escape their prison and shimmer in the celestial light, painting crooked lines of vulnerability on his handsome face. His heart continued to ache with a pain he was too weak control, mercilessly twisting and torturing him, as he quietly watched Padme sleep.
Her words from earlier that evening relentlessly echoed through to the deepest chasm of his soul. Anakin had opened his heart to her, and shown Padme how deeply her name was carved into it. How it longed for her to vanquish the loneliness that had imperceptibly shrouded his life. For her, to be his…forever. It didn’t matter to his heart that they were from two far away worlds. Worlds that could never come together. His heart only knew how to love, and its incessant yearning for her was the reason it continued to beat in his chest.
However, duty, and sworn oaths to the paths that they had chosen was what she reminded him of. That they weren’t allowed to love. That their lives would be destroyed. Anakin felt the trembling ache in Padme’s voice as she pulled away from, as she reluctantly erected a wall between them. She loved him, he had felt it.
Anakin slowly walked towards the luxurious bed. His aching cerulean orbs lovingly watched the gentle rising and falling of Padme’s chest under the silk sheets, whilst she slept. Each step he took had a cataclysmic affect on his senses; it brought him closer to the most precious creature he had ever known. Her immaculate feminine beauty was only surpassed by the beauty, the benevolence that was within her. But each step continued to maim his heart, forcing him to catch his breath…because he knew she could never be his.
The courageous padawan welcomed the perpetual agony plaguing his life, if it meant that just for a moment he could be close to his true love. Anakin gently sat beside Padme, making certain he didn’t awake her. The young warrior amorously admired his Angel. She was perfect. Even in her sleep, she made his heart skip a beat. Anakin snapped his neck up and stared at the ceiling…the pain was ravaging through his body, vengefully poisoning his soul. But yet, he welcomed it, if it meant he would be close to her for just one night.
Unknowingly a tear rolled down his cheek and fell upon Padme’s open palm, causing her fingers to twitch reflexively. Anakin gasped, and looked back at his true love, hoping that he didn’t awake her, hoping that he didn’t have to see the pain in her chocolate eyes she so gallantly fought to hide. His breathing returned. She was still asleep. The lover looked down at the pain filled tear that betrayed him and fell upon Padme’s hand…why couldn’t she be his?
Anakin carefully lowered his palm over Padme’s, his fingers aligning themselves over hers, his hand a whisker away from touching hers. He was so close to touching her, but that small distance was one that even his love couldn’t break through. Overwhelmed by the raw emotion scorching his heart, and inundating his veins, Anakin abruptly stood up, clenching his hand into a fist. It hurt too much. Why did it hurt so much? Why?
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
Anakin wrestled with the tumultuous emotions bludgeoning his mind, as he briskly walked towards the exit to Padme’s sleeping chamber. He paused at the doorway, clasping the side to stop his momentum. The inexorable pain and longing was tormenting him, her words annihilating what remained of his senses. Anakin looked back over his shoulder…He had a duty to protect her, he had a destiny to fulfill, but why didn’t his heart listen to reason? Why did it continue to call her name?
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
The heartbroken lover dashed into his own chamber. The almost instantaneously weight of Naboo came crashing down upon him; weakening his conditioned legs, and making him fall upon his bed. Tonight he felt alone. More alone than he had ever felt. All those nights he spent dreaming of his true love, hoping, praying to the Force that one day he would see her again. So he could tell her how much he loved her. How much he had loved her since the first moment her angelic presence came into his life.
“Padme…” Her name escaped with the warm breath leaving his lungs, accentuating the emptiness that unremittingly grew within him.
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
Anakin sat up, and stared out at the heavenly moon glistening majestically over Varykino. Padme had requested that he be strong, that he remember what his destiny was, what he fought, dedicated and sacrificed so much to achieve. Skywalker nodded his head. He had to honor what she had asked of him. If only now he could convince his heart.
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Anakin realized that he would have to live without her love for the rest of his life. That there would always be an ache, a yearning to hear her voice, to see her smile, to feel the warmth of her body against his…but at least this way, she was with him. For after they part, and he has completed his duty, knowing he would never see her again, she would be taking his heart with him wherever she went.
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And know I can't be with you tonight
You know MY heart is by YOUR side
I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
*****
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Helen_Taft
Registered:
Mar '08
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Date Posted:
7/6 1:34pm
Subject:
RE: If I'm Not Made For You - Anakin/Padme Vig/Songfic - AOTC
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Fristly, I'm really sorry to read that you're leaving the boards! Secondly, what a great songfic. You did an excellent job of capturing the doomed, chivalrous, old world love that GL was trying in vain to capture in AOTC. Thank you so much for sharing! 
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KELIA
Title: Host: 20 Ques
Bet Your Knowledge
PT Rewrite
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
7/6 2:23pm
Subject:
RE: If I'm Not Made For You - Anakin/Padme Vig/Songfic - AOTC
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For after they part, and he has completed his duty, knowing he would never see her again, she would be taking his heart with him wherever she went.
That was heartbreaking...but sadly, the way it should have been.
I'm sorry to hear you are leaving the boards. It's been a pleasure to read your stories over the past few years.
Great job on this
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Lisbev
Registered:
May '08
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Date Posted:
7/7 10:15pm
Subject:
RE: If I'm Not Made For You - Anakin/Padme Vig/Songfic - AOTC
- Date Edited:
7/13 11:40pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Lisbev
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 BEAUTIFUL, but SOOO PAINFUL
The inexorable pain and longing was tormenting him, her words annihilating what remained of his senses.
“Padme…” Her name escaped with the warm breath leaving his lungs, accentuating the emptiness that unremittingly grew within him.
Padme had requested that he be strong, that he remember what his destiny was, what he fought, dedicated and sacrificed so much to achieve. Skywalker nodded his head. He had to honor what she had asked of him.
Poor Anakin, being strong sure sucks.
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Darthana
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
7/13 4:04pm
Subject:
RE: If I'm Not Made For You - Anakin/Padme Vig/Songfic - AOTC
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So sad, yet so beautiful! 
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"There is still good in him." "You have my undying... gratitude." Anakin & Padmé 4ever! 
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Anakin_Heartbreaker
Registered:
Sep '04
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Date Posted:
7/22 11:42am
Subject:
RE: If I'm Not Made For You - Anakin/Padme Vig/Songfic - AOTC
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Helen_Taft - Please don't be sorry for me, it is my time to leave.  Your kind words have truly floored me, thank you! 
KELIA - You've always been so amazing to me, but please don't be sorry about me leaving, it's my time.
Lisbev - Yes, sometimes being strong does not always mean you'll end up happy. Sometimes you have to be strong to finally let go of the things you love. Thanks for reading!
Darthana - Thank you for the kind words!
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Takianna
Registered:
Apr '05
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Date Posted:
7/24 1:26pm
Subject:
RE: If I'm Not Made For You - Anakin/Padme Vig/Songfic - AOTC
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This is truly wonderful.
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"From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again…I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you—I can't breathe."
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Anakin_Heartbreaker
Registered:
Sep '04
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Date Posted:
8/17 8:39pm
Subject:
RE: If I'm Not Made For You - Anakin/Padme Vig/Songfic - AOTC
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Takianna - Thanks so much for reading.
To anyone who may read this in the future. Thank you.
Nearly done with all my final replies, only the replies for The Hitman is left.
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