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Author	Topic: A Skirmish in the Snow (Essential OC challenge, OC's, Battle of Hoth, War, Vig) CO-WINNER!
yodas_waiter Registered: Oct '06	Date Posted: 2/28 4:30pm Subject: A Skirmish in the Snow (Essential OC challenge, OC's, Battle of Hoth, War, Vig) CO-WINNER! - Date Edited: 3/27 3:51am (2 edits total) Edited By: yodas_waiter
	Title: A Skirmish in the Snow Author: yodas_waiter Genre: War This is my response to the Essential OC challenge called "Snow Wars" which was to depict a battle on a snowy planet through the eyes of an OC. Hope you enjoy it! --------------------------------------- ‘Keep your eyes peeled,’ Djorik said as he paced up and down the trench. ‘We know the enemy is out there and they are coming for us,’ He stopped and faced the snowy field which lay in front of him. There was a haze in the distance which made it hard to see. Djorik didn’t like it. ‘The weather seems to be against us,’ Djorik said as he resumed his pacing. ‘We won’t be able to see them until their right on top of us. Perhaps we should send out scouts,’ ‘No, everyone should stay in the trench. We must defend the base,’ someone said behind Djorik. He turned around to see who had said it. The voice belonged to Sly. Sly seemed to always disagree with Djorik out of principle. ‘Our defence is no good if we don’t know they’re coming,’ ‘Is our defence going to be any better if we send out two scouts that will be taken down anyway?’ Sly said, coming up close to Djorik and staring him right in the eyes. ‘Besides, who made you the General?’ ‘I got the most last time,’ Djorik said. ‘No you didn’t and that’s not how it works!’ Sly protested. ‘Everyone gets a turn,’ ‘Well, then it’s my turn,’ ‘You’ve already had your turn,’ Sly said and turned to the rest of the boys. ‘Who hasn’t been the General?’ Three boys raised their hands and stood up. A quick game of rock-paper-scissors determined who would be the general. ‘Who won?’ Sly asked. ‘I did,’ a boy named Frei said, holding up his hand. ‘Who’s your second?’ ‘I guess you can be my second, if you want,’ Frei said. ‘And what do you think about sending out scouts?’ Sly asked, turning to Frei but glancing at Djorik with a small smile on his face. ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea,’ Frei said. ‘Fine,’ Sly said. ‘Anything else?’ ‘Well, we could use some more snowballs,’ Frei said as he looked around. ‘Okay, everyone! You heard the General! Make more snowballs!’ Sly turned to Djorik. ‘That means you too, soldier,’ * ‘That means you too, soldier!’ Djorik barked at the soldier, a Private, standing just in front of him. The private jumped and looked up at his Lieutenant. ‘Sorry sir,’ the Private said, looking all jittery. ‘I guess I’m nervous,’ ‘Show me someone who isn’t,’ Djorik said. ‘Still, we must do our job and that includes you. Now, set up that repeater-turret,’ ‘Yes sir!’ the Private said as he got quickly to work. Djorik kept on pacing up and down the trench, supervising the preparation his troops were making for the coming onslaught. Onslaught. Some would call him a pessimist but Djorik used that word because he found it the most fitting. Brave and passionate as they were, his troops did not have a chance in hell of repelling the Imperial invasion. The fact that the evacuation of Echo Base already been started proved as much. Their job was simple, to hold of the Imperials long enough for evacuation to get under way. To act as living roadblocks. Djorik did not doubt his men’s ability to hold the Imperials off for a while, but he doubted that they all would escape alive. Of course, Djorik did not utter a word of this and instead walked around encouraging his men as they set up their defences. ‘How is everything looking, Lieutenant?’ Captain Siles asked as he entered the trench. ‘Looking good, considering the circumstances, sir,’ Djorik answered. ‘I know what you mean,’ Siles sighed. ‘They really want us to prove our mettle, don’t they?’ ‘I wouldn’t be doing anything else,’ Djorik answered. ‘That’s the spirit,’ Siles chuckled and patted Djorik on the shoulder. ‘I hear that General Skywalker is prepping Rogue Squadron. Perhaps they might cover us when we’ve done our bit,’ ‘Let’s hope,’ Djorik said. ‘Well, I shouldn’t be holding you any longer,’ Siles said. ‘Get back to what you were doing,’ ‘Yes, sir,’ Djorik said and continued down the trench. The men were busy preparing for the battle. Some where checking their guns for the fourth or fifth time, others where praying or resting with a few scanning the horizon, shivering as they did so. Djorik did not need to check his gun, it had already served him faithfully in enough battles nor did he pray since he knew that the enemy was doing the same thing. Neither did he shiver. He never shivered. However, what he did do was stop and scan the horizon with his electro-binoculars. * ‘I think I see something,’ Djorik said, squinting as he looked out towards the fog. A few seconds passed where all the boys quietened down and gazed out towards the snowy plain, straining their eyes to see something. Suddenly, shouts of confirmed sightings were heard throughout the trench and then Djorik saw the shapes moving in closer, trying to hide behind the twisted trees. ‘Get ready! Here they come!’ Djorik shouted as he grabbed the topmost snowball on the pile next to him. The enemy was nearing and already some snowballs were being lobbed into the trench. Djorik kept low and saw several snowballs whiz over him and land nearby. Further down the trench, he heard some boys shouting as the enemy got close. But Djorik still kept low until he could hear the crunching approach of the enemy coming within a few metres of where he was crouching. Djorik steeled himself and as the final footfall fell close to him, he sprung up with a roar. Without even aiming clearly, Djorik unleashed a torrent of snowballs on the attackers. He heard shouts of surprise and some snowballs were feebly launched at him but they weren’t even close. Eventually, the attackers fell back and there were only black shapes moving further back in the haze. Djorik took cover and started to roll more snowballs quickly. * Djorik fumbled as he loaded his blaster. He swore. He had been through several campaigns and never once had he had the shakes as bad as now and the reason for that were the metal behemoths that had entered the battlefield. AT-AT’s. Djorik had only heard about the AT-AT through frightful rumours, about how these machines left death and devastation in their wake. Djorik believed most of it was hyperbole but at the same time he would think himself lucky that he had never faced such a monstrosity. But today, it would seem that his luck had run out. He had already shot at some snowtroopers advancing on his position, forcing them down, but it all seemed to postponing the inevitable as the AT-AT’s started to break down the Rebel defences. ‘Stand firm boys!’ Djorik said as he finished loading his blaster. He looked down the line and saw all the anxious faces and the men shivering. However, it wasn’t the cold that made them shiver this time. ‘Got to make sure enough people get off this snowball,’ Then, overhead, there came a roar and several snowspeeders flew over the battlefield. A cheer rose from the trenches. ‘And here comes the cavalry,’ Djorik said to himself. Maybe they would have a chance after all. * Something had gone really wrong. The enemy had broken through the ranks and was now in the trench, unleashing an unrelenting torrent of snowballs down on the defenders. Some of the boys were even wrestled down and had their faces pushed into a pile of snow, a sign of submission and that you were now out of the game. But Djorik didn’t want to give up. He grabbed his last snowballs and threw them at random into the crowd in the trench before turning around to run to the base. ‘Fall back!’ he shouted and all the boys that still stood all fell back to the base. * The call had gone out; the Empire had breached the defences and destroyed the shield generator. All those still standing were to move back and defend Echo Base. Djorik had clambered out of the trench alongside five other men, climbing over the bodies of their dead comrades lying face first in the snow as the Imperial barrage got heavier. He had seen Siles and saw that he would never get up again. Now Djorik was the highest ranking officer and he was forging a way through the snow as his legs grew stiffer by every push. Behind him, the AT-AT’s, now gunning down the retreating soldiers, seemed to be getting ever closer. ‘Can we make it?’ the private, Mendriks, panted as he fell slightly behind. ‘Yes,’ Djorik said through gritted teeth as he moved through the pain. He could see Echo Base now, a large icy mass just in front of them. On the other side was the evacuation site. Djorik felt that if they reached Echo Base, they might still have a chance of surviving the battle. He could see other troops retreating up ahead. At least they weren’t alone. ‘Come on!’ he urged his men. ‘I’ll buy a drink to the guy who reaches the base before me,’ he turned around and smiled through his frosty beard and the fatigued men behind them. The offer seemed to do the trick and the men moved with renewed energy. * Djorik had now reached the base were seven other boys were waiting. They were the last line of defence and if they lost the base, they would lose the battle. Djorik was one of eight boys who had come from the trench, making the total number of defenders fifteen. However, they knew that their attackers were more than double that and that nothing short of a miracle would turn the battle in their favour. But the seven boys who had held the base hadn’t been idle and there were several piles of snowballs waiting to be grabbed. All the boys grabbed an armful of snowballs with a look of steely resolve on their faces and they positioned themselves for the final defence. Djorik ended up next to Sly. ‘Did you get any?’ Sly asked, leaning back against the rock which they were hiding behind. ‘I hit a few, yes,’ ‘Hmm…’ Sly did not look impressed. ‘You?’ ‘Wrestled down Rock and Tannon. Zwart, Kleerson and Pruiit got it right on the nose,’ he mimicked the looks of his victims and laughed. Djorik laughed half-heartedly. He hated being always outdone by Sly. There came shouts from the other side of the base and Sly snapped to attention in an instant. ‘Get ready,’ he grabbed a snowball. ‘Here they come,’ * Echo Base had been breached well before Djorik had reached it and he was now stuck in the middle of a fire-fight in one of the corridors. Two of his men had already been shot and there seemed to be more stormtroopers entering the fray every minute. Things were not looking good. ‘We can’t hold this much longer,’ Mendriks said as he took cover. ‘What should we do, Lieutenant?’ Djorik said nothing. ‘Lieutenant?’ ‘Sir?’ the Corporal named Sanks, nudged him. Djorik looked at each of them slowly. ‘We fight,’ he said with a cracked voice. It was cracked, not because of emotion, but because of fatigue. ‘We will finish our job and fight,’ They could hear bolts impacting on the crates behind which they were covering and the smell of ozone lay heavy in the air. The two men looked blankly at their commanding officer. ‘Remember how we always say that the real heroes always get left behind in battle?’ Djorik asked. The men nodded. ‘Want to be real heroes?’ Djorik held out his hand. The two men looked doubtful for a few seconds before both taking a deep breath and laying their hands on top of his. Something in them seemed to change: their posture and the look on their face. They looked like soldiers, real soldiers. ‘Ready?’ Djorik asked. * The constant spatter of snowballs could be heard hitting the rock as Sly and Djorik were rolling snowballs at a ferocious pace. Things had gotten worse and Djorik wasn’t even sure there were any defenders left but them. Sly, however, insisted on keeping on fighting but they had been forced down for several minutes now. Suddenly, the barrage stopped. ‘Come on, you guys. Surrender!’ a call floated up to them. ‘Never!’ Sly shouted back. ‘It’s getting dark and we’re all wet and cold. Surrender and we’ll not push you into the snow,’ ‘Sounds good,’ Djorik said. ‘Fool,’ Sly said. ‘They’ll do it anyway. They’re just bored of waiting,’ ‘Guys?’ ‘What should we do?’ ‘A final charge,’ Sly said, grabbing an armful of snowballs. ‘Like in the stories. Are you with me?’ ‘Yes,’ Djorik said without even doubting. Sly smiled and it was a different kind of smile. A friendly one. Djorik grabbed an armful of snow and looked at Sly. Sly made a nod and the both climbed over the rock, shouting as they did so. * All three men stood up at once and started firing. Mendriks was cut down instantly whilst Sanks managed to gun down a few stormtroopers before getting hit several times squarely on the chest. Djorik kept on firing, forcing the stormtroopers to take cover. He fired without aiming and he screamed at the top of his voice as he did so. He did not hear the stormtroopers coming up behind him. He felt a burning sensation and then came a chill as he fell face first to the ground. He could hear the stormtroopers walking around his body. There was no more strength in him and he felt his thoughts slowly dissipating. Djorik shivered. * There was whiteness and there was pain. Djorik sensed that he was rolling down the hill and he could feel the cold of the snow against his face but he seemed detached from it all. From far away he could hear a voice, Sly’s, angrily shouting. ‘Who did this?!’ the voice got clearer and it was filled with the uncontrollable rage of a boy. ‘Who had ice in the snowball!? Tell me or I will take all of you down!? Who did this?! All Djorik saw was white. His eye felt strange. He thought he was blind. He then felt the sensation of being lifted up and he saw nothing else. Everything went from whiteness to darkness. Djorik woke up in his own bed. His mother was sitting next to him. He had a patch over his left eye. Djorik touched the patch tenderly. ‘Mommy. What has happened?’ She smiled yet had a concerned look on her face. ‘A naughty boy threw a snowball with ice in it and it hit you in the eye,’ ‘Am I blind?’ ‘No,’ she shook her head. ‘The doctor has taken a look and he believes he can fix it. We’ll be going there after the weekend. Meanwhile, you should keep that bacta patch on it,’ ‘Can I still play snowball warfare?’ ‘Yes, you can,’ she said, but she did not look pleased. ‘But not for a while,’ ‘Okay,’ Djorik said with disappointment in his voice. ‘Do you want some hot chocolate?’ she asked. ‘Yes!’ Djorik smiled. She gave him a stern look. ‘Yes please,’ Her facial expression softened instantly. ‘You’re my little soldier,’ she leaned over to kiss him on the fore-head. ‘A little battle-scarred perhaps but you live to fight another day,’ -----signature----- Padawan to Sionnach-Airgid Author of Chyler databank entry Nominated Best New Author in Before the Saga 06/07 The Enforcer (SW Super-hero tribute): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28028864/p1/?2
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VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 3/1 6:09am Subject: A Skirmish in the Snow (Essential OC challenge, OC's, Battle of Hoth, War)
	Djorik woke up in his own bed. His mother was sitting next to him. He had a patch over his left eye. Djorik touched the patch tenderly. ‘Mommy. What has happened?’ She smiled yet had a concerned look on her face. ‘A naughty boy threw a snowball with ice in it and it hit you in the eye,’ ‘Am I blind?’ ‘No,’ she shook her head. ‘The doctor has taken a look and he believes he can fix it. We’ll be going there after the weekend. Meanwhile, you should keep that bacta patch on it,’ ‘Can I still play snowball warfare?’ ‘Yes, you can,’ she said, but she did not look pleased. ‘But not for a while,’ ‘Okay,’ Djorik said with disappointment in his voice. ‘Do you want some hot chocolate?’ she asked. ‘Yes!’ Djorik smiled. She gave him a stern look. ‘Yes please,’ Her facial expression softened instantly. ‘You’re my little soldier,’ she leaned over to kiss him on the fore-head. ‘A little battle-scarred perhaps but you live to fight another day,’ Loved this, especially the ending! -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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yodas_waiter Registered: Oct '06	Date Posted: 3/11 11:38am Subject: A Skirmish in the Snow (Essential OC challenge, OC's, Battle of Hoth, War, Vig)
	Thank you The ending was hard to write since there was a lot to convey but I didn't know how, so I'm pleased you liked it -----signature----- Padawan to Sionnach-Airgid Author of Chyler databank entry Nominated Best New Author in Before the Saga 06/07 The Enforcer (SW Super-hero tribute): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28028864/p1/?2
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Rau_Fang Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 3/11 2:26pm Subject: A Skirmish in the Snow (Essential OC challenge, OC's, Battle of Hoth, War, Vig)
	Chilling! Way to go Y_W! Once a soldier always a soldier. -----signature----- Get with the OC Revolution, Holmes! Don't check the Profile... my fics couldn't possibly be there... Negachlorian - http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/30251128/p1/?0
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Corellian_Ale Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 3/14 4:57am Subject: A Skirmish in the Snow (Essential OC challenge, OC's, Battle of Hoth, War, Vig)
	It took me a few changes to "get" the scene changes, but once I did... Awesome, loved it! -----signature----- "An elegant weapon for more civilized times, eh?" "Well, guess what, times have changed." - "Boss"; RC-1138 Shades of Gray II - Acts of Contrition: http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/30043243
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Thumper09 Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 3/22 7:50pm Subject: A Skirmish in the Snow (Essential OC challenge, OC's, Battle of Hoth, War, Vig)
	Awesome story! The scene changes from Djorik's childhood to adulthood were great, and I loved how they paralleled each other and at the same time could each stand independently as stories, if that made any sense. The emotions and the descriptions of how the cold and snow felt were very well done. Great job! -----signature----- "Like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method." -Karen Eiffel, Stranger Than Fiction "Adamantine"--Rebel OC vig http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/30390799 "That's 'stupid plan, sir,' Lieutenant." -Wedge
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yodas_waiter Registered: Oct '06	Date Posted: 3/27 3:55am Subject: A Skirmish in the Snow (Essential OC challenge, OC's, Battle of Hoth, War, Vig) CO-WINNER!
	Thanks guys. I'm glad you liked it Thumper, living in Sweden, I've been a fair few snowball fights. So the whole of Djoriks childhood sequence is based on my own experiance having massive snowball warfare in the woods. As you might imagine, I also am very familiar with how it feels to roll around and be forced down in the snow -----signature----- Padawan to Sionnach-Airgid Author of Chyler databank entry Nominated Best New Author in Before the Saga 06/07 The Enforcer (SW Super-hero tribute): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28028864/p1/?2
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