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Topic:
The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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darkcide
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 3:21pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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Obviously some clarification is needed here. I said it's way too easy to cheat in a monogomous relationship because you can't keep track of where your "monogomous" partner is every minute of every hour of every day. He/she could have sex with someone else without your knowledge and then have sex with you. But many people in a "monogomous" relationship don't use protection in sex because they believe the other person is being faithful,and very often they don't find out until later that it isn't true.
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SuperWatto
Registered:
Sep '00
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 3:26pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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I suggest you choose your partners more wisely, in the future, darkcide...
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darkcide
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 3:35pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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I think that goes for pretty much everybody,SuperWatto.
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ShaneP
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 3:39pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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Darkcide
because you can't keep track of where your "monogomous" partner is every minute of every hour of every day
You're not supposed to keep track. They're an adult, not your child. It's about trust. If you don't trust your partner, then you have a false relationship.
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SuperWatto
Registered:
Sep '00
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 3:47pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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Moreover, the theory's riddled with vague notions, like 'you' and 'could' and 'many people'.
End of the day, you'd have to compare like 100 people with 10 years of monogamy and 100 people with 10 years of polygamy. Then see how many monogamous people fool around. See how many of them have illnesses. Compare that to the people who have been fooling around for ten years with, well, anybody. Sure, some will use protection, but not all, not by far. See how many of those who don't, catch an illness... Probably more or less the same amount of people as the ones you're left with, from the first group, don't you think?
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Lowbacca_1977
Title: Senate Moderator
Registered:
Jun '06
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 3:47pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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darkcide posted:
Obviously some clarification is needed here. I said it's way too easy to cheat in a monogomous relationship because you can't keep track of where your "monogomous" partner is every minute of every hour of every day. He/she could have sex with someone else without your knowledge and then have sex with you. But many people in a "monogomous" relationship don't use protection in sex because they believe the other person is being faithful,and very often they don't find out until later that it isn't true.
Whats the connection between monogomous relationships and not using protection, exactly? Isn't it equally likely that some in polyamorous relationships would trust any partners that would say they were clean, and not use protection in those cases as well?
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darkcide
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 6:11pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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No. In polyamory you KNOW that you are not the only person having sex with a person. Therefore you and others are more likely to use protection than someone who says "I don't need protection.I'm in a monogomous relationship",only to find out later that the person he or she trusted betrayed that trust and had a secret fling. Once someone cheats while in a monogamous relationship the relationship is no longer monogamous. People who are into polyamory say it's not an alternative to monogamy,it's an alternative to cheating. Because no matter how much "trust" there is in a monogamous relationship,there is always a potential for cheating,no matter how remote,it's always there.
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darth_paul
Registered:
Apr '00
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 6:30pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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darkcide posted:
No. In polyamory you KNOW that you are not the only person having sex with a person. Therefore you and others are more likely to use protection than someone who says "I don't need protection.I'm in a monogomous relationship",only to find out later that the person he or she trusted betrayed that trust and had a secret fling.
But having multiple partners doesn't mean there's a sexual free-for-all. What you're describing seems to fit with "open" relationships, but there can certainly be a closed relationship with more than two partners, and then if you all get tested for STDs and are clean, there's no more imperative to use protection than an a monogamous relationship; one would figure on an equal level of trust and fidelity. And a monogamous relationship is really no more susceptible to the dangers of infidelity, &c. than a closed multiple-partner relationship.
-Paul
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darkcide
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 8:11pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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I was not describing a "sexual free-for-all" FTR.
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ROTSFan
Registered:
Jul '06
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 8:30pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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I once read that porn stars regularly get tested and sign contracts to only have sex with a select group of people. Does anyone have any information on this?
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darkcide
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 9:25pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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I think that is a different subject than this thread.
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Lowbacca_1977
Title: Senate Moderator
Registered:
Jun '06
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 9:43pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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except also darkcide, you're not discussing relationships of one versus more than one, you're arguing relationships with secrets versus without. Neither part is monogamous.
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darkcide
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
5/21/07 11:29pm
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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On that(?),I'll bid farewell to this thread. It's getting dull. 
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SuperWatto
Registered:
Sep '00
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Date Posted:
5/22/07 2:20am
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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Copping out, more like.
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ROTSFan
Registered:
Jul '06
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Date Posted:
5/22/07 10:29am
Subject:
RE: The Polyamorous Partner Movement
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SuperWatto posted:
Copping out, more like.
True, true. I am kind of interested in the porn thing though, because I never got my question answered and it does have to do with multiple partners.
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Fics in profile; ask me to unlock ~I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I hoped it would be." - Office Space
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