| Author |
Topic:
Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
Master_SweetPea
Registered:
Nov '02
|
Date Posted:
10/14/07 4:56pm
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
Mustafar_66 posted:
Bulies are intrinsically cowards who do it to feel good about themselves. A quick punch to the nose will sort out any problems with bullying.
Sorry i just don't agree at all.
Bullies are only bullies because they are stronger and/or bigger. I was the kid who always stood up to the bully and was then quickly smacked down, till someone pulled him off me., Now i'm talking about when I was in the 1st grade, and the "bully" was in the 4th or 5th grade, but I can not believe that it's not the same, with older kids.
Not everyone is going to stand back and take bad treatment, most people WILL fight back if they can.
the problem is that most bullies are arrogant, thinking that they are the biggest, fastest and strongest,
so either you have to be bigger, faster, and stronger. OR you have to gang up on him, like Bart Simpson and his army.
-----signature-----
I don't like the donkeys and I don't like the Elephants http://www.lp.org "Some people never have anything except ideas Go Do it! Lucky Numbers 3, 11, 21, 31, 41, 43"
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Spike2002
Title: FF-UK RSA
Arena Manager
Registered:
Feb '02
|
Date Posted:
10/18/07 7:04am
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
Master_SweetPea posted:
Mustafar_66 posted:
Bulies are intrinsically cowards who do it to feel good about themselves. A quick punch to the nose will sort out any problems with bullying.
Sorry i just don't agree at all.
Bullies are only bullies because they are stronger and/or bigger. I was the kid who always stood up to the bully and was then quickly smacked down, till someone pulled him off me., Now i'm talking about when I was in the 1st grade, and the "bully" was in the 4th or 5th grade, but I can not believe that it's not the same, with older kids.
Not everyone is going to stand back and take bad treatment, most people WILL fight back if they can.
the problem is that most bullies are arrogant, thinking that they are the biggest, fastest and strongest,
so either you have to be bigger, faster, and stronger. OR you have to gang up on him, like Bart Simpson and his army.
Actually, usually the bullies are bullies because they pick on the target that they think is the least likely to fight back. Usually the quiet kids with no friends, or sometimes the gothy/emo type ppl.
They don't target groups, they'll pick out individuals who are generally isolated. Most of the time yes, a lot of kids they target are smaller and weaker than the bullies, but all it takes is one good right hook in the nose and bullies will leave you alone. They don't expect a target to fight back.
-----signature-----
"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him." - Arthur C. Clarke  I agree with halibut  Master to Louis_Skywalker  Proud Recipient of the Golden Elegos™ 
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Espaldapalabras
Registered:
Aug '05
|
Date Posted:
10/18/07 8:26am
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
In my experience the bullies were often the strongest kids, because many of them were held back a grade or two. Fighting back isn't always a solution. And when you do "fight back" against someone much larger than you and you lose the fight, it makes it much much worse.
Yesterday on NPR I was listening to something about what leads to school shootings. Our schools are not happy places, and more often than not it is a climate of fear. For every child that shoots up the school, the ulitmate way of fighting back when you simply can't punch back, there are at least a thousand others that had the same internalized hate because of the isolation and bullying. The only difference is that they were either more mentally stable or had some outlet for what was happening to them. I can't say I have ever been surprised when some kid shoots up a school. It is simply a byproduct of a school system that systematically alienates and ostracizes children who are viewed as different. So if fighting back is the only recourse we are going to give disenfranchised children, I'm sending mine to school locked and loaded.
-----signature-----
A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.
Theodore Roosevelt
We should be eternally vigilant against attempts to check the expression of opinions that we loathe.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dizfactor
Registered:
Aug '02
|
Date Posted:
10/18/07 10:29am
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
Spike2002 posted:
They don't target groups, they'll pick out individuals who are generally isolated. Most of the time yes, a lot of kids they target are smaller and weaker than the bullies, but all it takes is one good right hook in the nose and bullies will leave you alone. They don't expect a target to fight back.
In my personal experience, this is often untrue. I tried fighting back, and man did I get my ass beat. YMMV.
Espaldapalabras posted:
I can't say I have ever been surprised when some kid shoots up a school. It is simply a byproduct of a school system that systematically alienates and ostracizes children who are viewed as different.
Exactly. I never understood why anyone was surprised by this sort of thing. I mean, I was a bit taken aback by the scale of Columbine, but how could you not see that coming? It was like 9/11 like that for me.
-----signature-----
"Play is going to be for the 21st century what steam was to the 19th century."
Julian Dibbell
"You gotta love an elite killing force that you can fool by putting on a hat."
Gryph
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Spike2002
Title: FF-UK RSA
Arena Manager
Registered:
Feb '02
|
Date Posted:
10/19/07 4:35am
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
In my experience the bullies were often the strongest kids, because many of them were held back a grade or two. Fighting back isn't always a solution. And when you do "fight back" against someone much larger than you and you lose the fight, it makes it much much worse.
Ah. Nobody gets held back a grade in the UK, so everyone in all years are the same age. It doesn't stop some of the older kids bullying younger ones, though. It is harder to do if you don't know who your victim is and see them in class all the time, mind. Most kids pick their victims when they're in the same classrooms.
Our differences in bullying styles is possibly a reflection of our different cultures. I know this topic is about bullying in the US, but bullying is universal, although the method of dealing with it can be different. Here in the UK we tend to have a more overall violent teenage culture than you guys in the US do. Bullying victims are often encouraged to stand up for themselves and solve their own problems.
I've dealt with both bullies and the bullied during both my school years, and as I grew up and coached kids that were being bullied in boxing techniques. I'd advocate similar things for bullying victims too. Not only are they being trained in a fighting technique that increases stamina, fitness and power, but something that immediately raises self-esteem. I've always found that lack of self-esteem can both result in, and from, bullying. Bullies want to see their victims demoralised, showing them that it's not affecting you will help. And if they try and press the issue, then you've been learning how to defend yourself, and you can show you are capable of hurting them back.
Sure, in your personal experience you've tried to fight back and got beaten up. I've got one thing to say to that. If and first you don't succeed, try, try again. Defending yourself and getting in a few good punches will eventually knock some sense into them.
-----signature-----
"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him." - Arthur C. Clarke I agree with halibut Master to Louis_Skywalker Proud Recipient of the Golden Elegos™
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Krayt-Eagle
Registered:
Feb '07
|
Date Posted:
10/19/07 6:53pm
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
Eleventh_Guard posted:
Bullying is a lot different between the sexes, too, although there's some crossover behavior. Boys tend to bully each other primarily with physical violence (and these are the victims that, if sufficiently unstable to begin with, end up doing the shootouts) and girls usually bully each other with psychological attacking (and these victims, while less likely to commit violent acts of vengeance, can end up with deep mental scars that persist to and well into adulthood).
You make a good point, here. I know from experience and of what I hear from others. It makes me wonder, thou, has there ever been a female that ventured into school with a gun? I'm not trying to pin anything on boys, just so you know. I am only curious.
I think the worst bullying takes place in Middle School, at least thats how it is in my area. A kid was teasing me because of my acne (I'm crystal clear now  ) basically saying "You're face is unbeleivable ugly". I replied, "I know, I look in the mirror and cry."
He got so confused.
Then he laughed.
Never bothered me so much after that. I believe the key is 'confusing the enemy', or sarcastically supporting their ideas. People thought I was gay cuz I didn't date anybody and cuz my outfit was pure T-shirt and jeans with a permanent pony-tail attached to my head. There was a rumor that I was going to wear a suite to graduation.When I was asked that, I just rolled my eyes and told them I planned on shaving my head then polishing my dome as well.
When one got wits, you don't need fists. 
-----signature-----
Call me Keagle  My NJO Trailer-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_LULTDGJ60 My fic-KotorIII;SotS-http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2812182/1/Star_Wars_KotOR_III_Scars_of_the_Sith Proud Member of the Witness Protection Program 
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Espaldapalabras
Registered:
Aug '05
|
Date Posted:
10/19/07 7:51pm
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
Perhaps when you are a girl, but at least in my experience it was mostly physical, and the worst of it was when I was the new kid that moved from a small innocent town to Louisiana in 7th grade. I thought it was just stupid that they thought I was gay because as a 12 year old I said I didn't look at porn, but when my fellow 7th graders, some of whom were also 16 years old, could beat me up it didn't matter if I tried to fight back or not. The only thing that helped was an even newer, wierder kid moved in who attracted more attention than me. I even remember my teacher asking me to befriend him because she knew I had gone through the same thing, but the last thing I was going to do was affiliate with other "wierd" kids. For a while I sometimes would hang out with the druggies because they didn't make fun of me. Eventually I won a fight with kid wasn't any bigger than me, and by then I had respect.
Again, I think we could learn a lot about international relations from the study of schoolyard brawls. If you're Grenada, fighting back against the US when it steals your lunch money isn't going to do you much good. But if you're Vietnam, if you bloody them up enough they will eventually leave you alone. And in my case it was a lot easier to fight back against Serbia than it was to fight against Russia. And once I had beat back the Serbians the Russians more or less left me alone. So what we really should be teaching children is how to bully others, not how to fight against bullies.
-----signature-----
A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.
Theodore Roosevelt
We should be eternally vigilant against attempts to check the expression of opinions that we loathe.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Spike2002
Title: FF-UK RSA
Arena Manager
Registered:
Feb '02
|
Date Posted:
10/22/07 9:13am
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
Espaldapalabras posted:
Perhaps when you are a girl, but at least in my experience it was mostly physical, and the worst of it was when I was the new kid that moved from a small innocent town to Louisiana in 7th grade. I thought it was just stupid that they thought I was gay because as a 12 year old I said I didn't look at porn, but when my fellow 7th graders, some of whom were also 16 years old, could beat me up it didn't matter if I tried to fight back or not. The only thing that helped was an even newer, wierder kid moved in who attracted more attention than me. I even remember my teacher asking me to befriend him because she knew I had gone through the same thing, but the last thing I was going to do was affiliate with other "wierd" kids. For a while I sometimes would hang out with the druggies because they didn't make fun of me. Eventually I won a fight with kid wasn't any bigger than me, and by then I had respect.
Again, I think we could learn a lot about international relations from the study of schoolyard brawls. If you're Grenada, fighting back against the US when it steals your lunch money isn't going to do you much good. But if you're Vietnam, if you bloody them up enough they will eventually leave you alone. And in my case it was a lot easier to fight back against Serbia than it was to fight against Russia. And once I had beat back the Serbians the Russians more or less left me alone. So what we really should be teaching children is how to bully others, not how to fight against bullies.
That doesn't really help particularly, because then it's a never-ending cycle.
-----signature-----
"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him." - Arthur C. Clarke I agree with halibut Master to Louis_Skywalker Proud Recipient of the Golden Elegos™
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Lowbacca_1977
Title: Senate Moderator
Registered:
Jun '06
|
Date Posted:
10/22/07 5:09pm
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
Krayt-Eagle posted:
Eleventh_Guard posted:
Bullying is a lot different between the sexes, too, although there's some crossover behavior. Boys tend to bully each other primarily with physical violence (and these are the victims that, if sufficiently unstable to begin with, end up doing the shootouts) and girls usually bully each other with psychological attacking (and these victims, while less likely to commit violent acts of vengeance, can end up with deep mental scars that persist to and well into adulthood).
You make a good point, here. I know from experience and of what I hear from others. It makes me wonder, thou, has there ever been a female that ventured into school with a gun? I'm not trying to pin anything on boys, just so you know. I am only curious.
I'm reminded of the "I don't like mondays" girl.
A 14 year old girl (Emily Bush) opened fire in a cafeteria in 2001 and only injured one person.
Clearly, a gender difference it seems.
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Espaldapalabras
Registered:
Aug '05
|
Date Posted:
10/22/07 5:31pm
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
|
It isn't gender so much as it is video games. There was a recent study that showed that after women played video games they had a marked improvement in their spacial reasoning skills, that closed the gender gap. Men largely didn't do much better. So while girls might not be as good at shooting down classmates because they play less video games, they also are worse drivers.
That doesn't really help particularly, because then it's a never-ending cycle.
I was being sarcastic.
-----signature-----
A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.
Theodore Roosevelt
We should be eternally vigilant against attempts to check the expression of opinions that we loathe.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
Spike2002
Title: FF-UK RSA
Arena Manager
Registered:
Feb '02
|
Date Posted:
10/23/07 10:36am
Subject:
RE: Not enough emphasis is put on bullying in the U.S.
- Date Edited:
10/23/07 5:39pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Spike2002
|
Espaldapalabras posted:
I was being sarcastic.
Make it clear you're being sarcastic next time, please. I've heard some pathetically stupid arguments in the past about bullying solutions and I sometimes wonder which suggestions are serious or joking 
-----signature-----
"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him." - Arthur C. Clarke I agree with halibut Master to Louis_Skywalker Proud Recipient of the Golden Elegos™
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
