Saga ¡Star Wars Bloopers! (2.0) (Round Robin)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Miana Kenobi, May 2, 2004.

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  1. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    Hi everyone!

    I went digging last night and found the original great thread locked. :(

    So here's version 2.0! Just create any kind of blooper and outtake from the Star Wars film.

    Here is the Original "¡Star Wars Bloopers!"

    And, to start it off, here is the one that started it all...

    By Owe-Me-One Perogi:

    Vader: "Luke... I am your mother... wait thats not right... Hey! Who Messed with my script!!"


    Have fun! And keep it clean! ;)
  2. Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
    star 3
    I hope this one's not been done yet:

    Obi-Wan arrives at the bar. He nods to the bartender, BUFON TAIRE, and points out a drink.

    CLOSE SHOT ? Elsewhere in the room, someone unsnaps the safety on their holstered blaster?

    As Obi-Wan picks up his blue drink, he is immediately disturbed by a young gravelly-voiced troublemaker named ELAN SLEAZEBAGGANO.

    ELAN: You want to buy some death sticks?

    Without even looking at him, Obi-Wan casually waves his hand in front of Elan?s face.

    OBI-WAN: You don?t want to sell me death sticks.
    ELAN: I don?t want to sell you death sticks?
    OBI-WAN: You want to go home and rethink your life.
    ELAN: I want to go home and rethink my life?

    The young thug wanders off, hypnotized. Obi-Wan downs his drink in one gulp. His eyes open wide and he begins to gag, spitting and airing out his tongue.

    OBI-WAN: *gasping* Diet....*spits again*
  3. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    Hehehe.. don't think so...

    I don't remember if someone did something like this either...

    Kamino, Obi-Wan goes running towards Jango.

    [Obi-Wan]: *SLIPS*

    [Lucas]: CUT!
  4. DarthMaul431 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2003
    star 2
    How about this...

    After Anakin swiftly slices the two kouhuns off of Padme's bed, Obi-Wan turns to the window and spots an assassin droid attempting to escape. He leaps toward the window. BUMP! The Obi-Wan falls to the floor and passes out.

  5. Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
    star 3
    The diet thing came from RL, my hubby accidentally took a sip of my diet coke once and he carried on as if he were poisoned.

    And here's another blooper:

    WATTO: Here it is...a T-14 hyperdrive generator!! Thee in luck, I'm the only one hereabouts who has one...but thee might as well buy a new ship. It would be cheaper, I think...Saying of which, how's thee going to pay for all this, huh?
    QUI-GON: I have 20,000 Republic dataries.
    WATTO: Republic credits? Republic credits are no good out here. I need something more real.
    QUI-GON: I don't have anything else. (raising his hand) But credits will do fine.
    WATTO: No, they won'ta.

    Qui-Gon sighs.

    QUI-GON: How about Mastercharge?

    He turns to the camera and grins while showing his Galactic Mastercard.

    QUI-GON: It's everywhere I want to be.

    Agonized yell in background of GL losing it yet again.
  6. Connemara Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2000
    star 6
    Hehehe! These are hilarious! :-D
  7. Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
    star 3
    QUI-GON: Had he been born in the Republic, we would have identified him early, and he would have become a Jedi, no doubt...he has the way. The Force is unusually strong with him, that much is clear. Who was his father?

    A long, uncomfortable silence. Qui-Gon stares at Shmi curiously.

    SHMI: Obviously you forgot that Temple Halloween party ten years ago. I was the devil girl with the pink horns, you were in the pirate shirt and kilt...

    Qui-Gon looks sheepish.

    QUI-GON: Ooh..that... (mutters about the spiked punch)

    In the background, GL is heard yelling for who added that to the script.
  8. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    [face_laugh] This is some really funny stuff.

    Diet is definitely disgusting. I could taste it a mile away, ick. And the thing about Obi-Wan bumping into the window and passing out... why can't some of the people here write the intentional bloopers added into the PT reels? :(

    The Mastercharge thing... "It's everywhere I want to be"...wow. Just... wow. I definitely cracked up.

    -sj loves kevin spacey
  9. Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
    star 3
    Anakin jumps into the little capsule behind the two giant engines of his podracer. He puts the power pack back into the dashboard. Everyone backs away, except for Jar-Jar who frantically calls for help. Finally Padme frees him. Artoo beeps.

    THREEPIO: You?re quite right. He?s very odd indeed.
    JAR-JAR: (to Padme) Thank you.

    He gives an ?OK? gesture to Anakin. The little boy works the cockpit controls, and the engines ignite with a ROAR. Everyone cheers.

    ANAKIN: It?s working! IT?S WORKING!!!

    A loud rattle sounds and grows into a deep rumble than the podracer explodes, sending Anakin flying through the air, squealing a rather Mini-Me-ish 'Eeeee'.

    JAR-JAR: Mesa guess itsa not working...
  10. KSA_2 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2004
    star 1
    Hee Hee!

    Here's mine.

    Holy Man: And you may now kiss the bride.

    (Anakin and Padme play tonsil hockey for what seems like 4 hours, even longer than Frodo and Sam's goodbye embrace)

    Obi-Wan strolls onto the set and says: Anakin! You forgot your lightsaber!

    Also:

    Anakin is twirling around and fighting Dooku. Then Anakin starts going 'Woh...vvv...woh woh...vvv...bizz!' as the sabers make contact and twirl around (I know you've done it! I do all the time!).

    The Mighty Flanneled Saint George yells: RICK!!!!!! I THOUGHT HAYDEN WAS OVER THAT!!!!!! LIGHTSABERS SOUND LIKE 'WAH' ZIPPING AROUND!!!!!! IF HE'S GONNA BE OUTRAGEOUSLY ANNOYING, HAYDEN SHOULD DO IT RIGHT!!!!!!
  11. Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
    star 3
    Obi-Wan is being suspended in mid-air by a blue electric beam in the center of a vast circular chamber. Count Dooku walks in, regarding the Jedi with a measure of pity and worry.

    OBI-WAN: Traitor.
    COUNT DOOKU: Oh no, Van Helsing. This time there is no stake, no sunlight, no running water to use against me.

    Obi-Wan blinks and looks at Dooku with a raised eyebrow.

    COUNT DOOKU: Sorry about that, Hammer Studios Dracula flashback.

    In the background, GL is heard sobbing.
  12. DarthMaul431 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2003
    star 2
    Anakin gently grazes his hand over the smooth skin of Padme's back. They slowly turn to each other and passionately kiss. They don't stop.

    (2 minutes later)George: Uh, Natalie, you're supposed to pull back.

    Padme rolls her eyes and turns to the camera.

    Natalie: Do I have to?

    George puts a gun to his head.
  13. Stormtrooper_Shrink Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2004
    star 4
    Anakin: If you'll excuse me...

    Anakin jumps out of the speeder and falls

    A large airbus full of kids cuts into Zam's path. She swerves

    Anakin continues downwards...

    Obi-Wan: Blast, I hate it...*looks down* Ugh...
  14. Fate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    You're hilarious, Vampi_Digitalwytch - but I'm sure you knew that already. [face_mischief] Every single one of your bloopers has has me cracking up. Everyone's doing a great job. :) I think I'll give this a try.

    [It's the scene of the first love confession. A roaring fire crackles in the background.]

    Anakin: From the moment I met you... all those years ago... not a day had gone by when I haven't thought of you. [He pauses for a long moment.]

    Padmé: Anakin? [She eyes him nervously.]

    Anakin (waving a hand): Hold on a minute. I'll think of it.

    [Several awkward moments go by.]

    Anakin: Um... oh, yeah. And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. Um... the closer... I get to you... the worse it gets. Yeah. [He waits a moment.] You're supposed to move away, Natalie.

    Natalie: Oh.. right. [She starts to move away, then gets up suddenly.] I'm sorry. I can barely breathe in this corset - was I supposed to say something? I can't remember.

    Hayden: No, you stay on the sofa until I finish this. [He pulls her back down beside him.] Um... The thought... of not being with you... I'm in agony. No, wait - I said that already. [He furrows his handsome brow.] Um... line?

    [George is weeping loudly.]
  15. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    These are great!



    Hey Miana- are you ok with the fire and everything??
  16. Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
    star 3
    I have an odd sense of humour so too often I don't know if something's just funny to me or is it something more widely funny.

    And now a little something from AOTC:

    Anakin looks around front and back of the 'requisitioned' speeder he's in with Obi-Wan. He spots something. He seems to start counting to himself as he watches something below approach.

    OBI-WAN: That was some shortcut, Anakin. He went completely the other way. Once again, you?ve proved --

    ANAKIN: If you?ll excuse me?

    Suddenly Anakin jumps out of the speeder!! Obi-Wan looks down and sees Zam?s speeder about five stories below them cruising past.

    OBI-WAN: I hate it when he does that.

    Anakin miraculously lands on top of the bounty hunter?s speeder only to have his boots slip on the hood.

    ANAKIN: (screams and the sounds of loud thumps are heard breaking them into segments until they grow faint)

    Obi-Wan watches his padawan's descent and shakes his head.

    OBI-WAN: Now, if you were mindful of the here and now, you would've known that speeder was freshly waxed.

    Obi-Wan starts chuckling as he speeds off.

    GL is on his knees in the background banging his head against the floor moaning 'Why?' repeatedly.
  17. DarthMaul431 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2003
    star 2
    Here's one:

    Obi-Wan and Anakin carry the mysterious assassin out of the nightclub and into a dark alley.

    Obi-Wan: Do you know who it was you were trying to kill?

    Zam: It was a senator from Naboo.

    Obi-Wan: And who hired you?

    Zam: It was just a job.

    Anakin: Who hired you, tell us. [pauses for a few moments] TELL US NOW!

    Zam: It was bounty hunter called --

    Obi-Wan: Uuuughhh [Passes out]

    Anakin and Zam look back and Jango shrugs.

    Jango: Oops, Sorry.

    George: [Looking up] WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!!
  18. red rose knight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2001
    star 4
    You all are some twisted puppies! [face_laugh]Keep it up! Thank goodness I decided to read this at lunch?
  19. Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
    star 3
    From ANH, and has sat in my head all these years:

    R2-D2 waddles along the rugged trail until suddenly, out of nowhere, a powerful magnetic ray shoots out of the rocks and engulfs him in an eerie glow.

    He manages one short electronic squeak before he topples over onto his back. His bright computer lights flicker off, then on, then off again. Out of the rocks scurry three Jawas, no taller than Artoo. They holster strange and complex weapons as they cautiously approach the robot. They wear grubby cloaks and their faces are shrouded so that only their glowing yellow eyes can be seen. They hiss and make odd guttural sounds as they heave the heavy robot onto their shoulders.

    LEAD JAWA: Hi-Ho!

    JAWAS:Hi-Ho!

    LEAD JAWA:Hi-Ho!

    JAWAS: Hi-Ho!

    ALL JAWAS: Hi-Ho! Hi-Ho! It's off to work we go...

    GL yells in exasperation and stamps his feet in the dust.

  20. Sara_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 7


    "I've been waiting for you Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last."

    [Vader ignites his lightsaber and waves it around in a circle motion.]

    "You've been waiting for me?" Obi-Wan replies. "All this time, and you've been waiting for me, right here? It's been twenty years, Vader. No wonder you need those big turbo legs of yours."


  21. Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
    star 3
    Obi-Wan and Anakin approach the bar to look for Zam.

    ANAKIN: Where are you going, Master?
    OBI-WAN: For a drink.

    Obi-Wan heads for the bar. Anakin blinks in surprise, then moves into the room where alien faces look back at him with hostility, suspicion, and invitation as he moves among the tables.

    Anakin loses track of time watching the podrace on the screen and is pulled from his viewing by the raucous cheers of females and some loud pumping music. He heads to where he saw Obi-Wan heading and is greeted by the view of his master tunicless and gyrating wildly to the delight of the crowd of females who have already stuffed quite a few credit notes in his belt.

    ANAKIN: (muttering) When will I learn, it's never just 'a' drink...
  22. DarthMaul431 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2003
    star 2
    Got another...

    Obi-Wan quietly listens to the Separatist's plans for the Republic.

    Dooku: The Trade Federation have pledged their support, and when their battle droids are combined with yours, we shall have an army greater than anything in the galaxy. The Republic will be overwhelmed.

    Obi-Wan: AAAAHHHH! [Falls through the hole he was watching from, and lands on the table right in front of Dooku]

    Obi-Wan: Uh --- Hi?

    George: CUT!!!
  23. Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
    star 3
    Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan wait on the Trade Federation's ship after being greeted by the female droid.

    OBI-WAN: I have a bad feeling about this.
    QUI-GON: I warned you about having those burritos for lunch.
  24. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    At Comic Con 2004....


    ANNOUNCER DUDE: We therefore announce that the title of Star Wars Episode Three shall be... "Give Hayden a Pay Raise?" What the...


    (Hayden laughs as he tried to run off-stage).
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