¡Star wars Bloopers! (Round Robin)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Owe-me-one Perogi, Feb 21, 2001.

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  1. Owe-me-one Perogi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2000
    star 4
    I got this idea form ff.net from a sorta-fic on the X-men movie and i thought it would be funny to do it here... i dont know if it has but oh well.. anyways

    its like fake bloopers and Outtakes from the movies I will Start and you can add stuff!! :)


    Vader: "Luke... I am your mother... wait thats not right... Hey! Who Messed with my script!!"


    Obi-wan holds on the a bar on the side of the never ending hole on Naboo. Then he loses his grip and falls.



    Darth Maul shows up in the hangar bay of Naboo awaiting th jedi. He turn on his lightsaber and twirls it around but loses grip and hits Anakin right in the head



    Maul stands next to Palpatine

    Maul: "Yes my Master.. sure i will go kill those stinkin Jedi for Ya alright."
    (Turns toward director)
    "Ya know what! Cant I at least have more than like 3 freakin Lines! I can talk ya know!!"


    Palpatine: *sighs* "I cant take this... Ill be in my trailer.. alright.. bye.."

    Maul:"Can i take his lines?"


    Vader chops off Luke's Hand.

    Luke:"AAAAAh!!" (He starts flailing his arm and then on accident his hand put but from under his sleeve.)

    Luke: *Laughs*. "Ha! HA! You can't beat me!! I have regrowable limbs! So take that robot man!"

    Vader shakes his head.


    Maul:"Oh I SEE! So know your not even gonna give me lines and have someone dubb 'em for me! Ya know what that just ticks me off!!"


    Ill do more later. Those were kinda bad. oh well
  2. DarthTutor Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2001
    star 3
    Obi Wan stands in the Icy Cold of Hoth {Episode 5} and talks to Luke:
    "Luke, Luke you will go to Dagobah. There you will learn from the Jedi Master that once trained me: Yodah"
    Snowstorm impares the vision, "Luke cries out "BEN" as the image of Obi Wan returns:
    "Sorry Luke, I mean Qui Gon trained me but Yoda is on Dagobah and I don't know exactly who Yoda trained, well sort of every one else."
    With his last bit of warm breat Luke answers "So could you get it straight, where do I go and whom should I ask for"
    Obi wan reappears:"Oh well, go to Dagobah to see Yoda who didn't train me whatsoever...."
  3. quigon70 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 5
    lol these are great

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    Error: Only 1 message post per minute is allowed.

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  4. Jaded Skywalker Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 24, 1999
    star 4
  5. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8

    (On the moisture farm when Owen is inspecting the droids..)

    OWEN: What about that blue one?

    JAWA #1: (Speaks in gibberish, subtitle appears) Well, there is something you have to know about this droid.

    OWEN: Yes?

    JAWA #1: (Subtitle) First of all, it hates bright lights, so buying it wasn't such a great idea.

    OWEN: uh huh...

    JAWA #2: (subtitle) Whatever you do, DON'T get it wet.

    JAWA #3 : (subtitle) and most important of all, NEVER feed it after midnight.

    OWEN: What the...

    GEORGE: I told you it wasn't a good idea to let the kids watch Gremlins...
    PALPATINE: Strike me down with your Jedi weapon and feel the full power of the dark side!

    LUKE: (shrugging) Okay. *slice*

    GEORGE: Cut! Cut! Mark, what the #$@# is the matter?

    MARK: Isn't that the line?

    VADER: (right after he chopped off Luke's hand) I have but one question for you, Skywalker.

    LUKE: Yeah? What's that?

    VADER: Who's your daddy?

    LUKE: Wait a sec.. that isn't in the script.

    VADER: Sure it is

    LUKE: (pulls off dead arm extension and pulls out a black sheet of papers labeled 'THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.' He flips around then finds a page.) Nope, that wasn't it.

    VADER: (He then pulls out his script.) Oh, all right. *clears throat* Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father...

    luKE: He told me enough. He told me you killed him!

    VADER: No. Jar Jar killed him.

    GEORGE: For the love of God! That's it! You're all fired!

    I know they must be stupid.. ah well...
  6. Liz Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2000
    star 1
  7. mouse2 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
  8. Owe-me-one Perogi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2000
    star 4

    "WHO's YOUR DADDY?!!"

    thats great.


    Anakin: "Are an angel?"

    Padmé: "No im the DEVIL!! HAHAHA.. 6..6..6!!! HEHE!!"

    Anakin: "Oookaayy..."


    Maul: "Can i at least like have a conversation will I am fighting the 2 jedi?"

    George: "No."

    Luke, Han, Chewie and Ben are on the Millenium falcon.

    (Vader Blows up Alderan)

    Ben grunts and holds his stomach

    Luke: "Are you okay?"

    Ben: "Oh nothing...just shouldnt have eaten that bean burrito before we left"


    The Ewoks are about to sacrifice Luke, Han and Chewie.

    Luke lifts up C3PO to the air. Then the chair tips to the side and C3PO falls onto Liea.


    Qui-gon is dieing.

    Qui-gon: "Obi-wan Promise me you will do one thing."

    Obi-wan: "Yes Master."

    Qui-gon: "Don't use me as an alternate source of food."

    Obi-wan: "Huh? (doesnt know line so makes something up) "Um were on Naboo im sure i could find something else, unless i get *really* Hungry"

  9. Owe-me-one Perogi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2000
    star 4
    Mace: "The question is was it the Pastor or the dentist?"

    "Oh Sh**! that's not right. WHAT MY LINE!?!"


    Yoda: "Fear leads to Anger
    Anger leads to Hate
    Hate leads to the Back Side of the "Horse"!


    Padmé: "Are you cold?"

    Anakin: "No im practicing to be a MIME!! What do you think?!?"


    Amidala: "I will not accept a course or action that will leads us to the Whore!"


  10. I love Sci Fi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2000
    star 4
    OK I can't thinkof much but let's see what I can do..... (I don't know where it was or exactly what was said but something similar)
    (on Naboo)

    Yoda: Always two there are.

    Mace: I knew there had to be an accomplice.

    Yoda: That's not your line, your supposed to ask if it was the master or the apprentace.

    Mace: Actually I thought it was the sith in the reactor core with the lightsaber.

    (Anikan and Obi-Wan walk up.)

    Anikan: No, no, it was the womp rat in the duggle with the water gun.

    Obi-Wan: No I was there, it was definatly the tricerotops in the jungle with the horns.

    Others: Tricerotops?!?

    Obi-Wan: Well he had horns.
    Hope that wasn't to bad. :)
  11. Owe-me-one Perogi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2000
    star 4
  12. DarthTutor Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2001
    star 3
    Darth Vader to Admiral Piet:
    {Episode 5 Grande Finale} "Admiral, have your men disengaged their hyperdive?"

    Piet looking for his line: "Oh bugger, why would you sabotage a hypedrive that never works in the first place."
    Vader to Piet after the escape from Cloud Ciy: "Admiral, you will not fail me again"
    Piet: "I know".
  13. JediCandy Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2000
    star 3
    Luke and Leia are trapped on a short walkway and Stormtroopers are blasting their way through the shield doors. Luke pulls an utility line from his belt and he manages to snag a pipe in the ceiling. He grabs Leia by her waist and she kisses him. "For luck," she whispers. They leap off of the platform together and........

    take 1:
    ..........they swing helplessly from side to side, as Luke hadn't used enough force to actually make it to the other side.......

    take 2:

    take 29:

    take 30:
    ..........they start to swing helplessly when, suddenly, the rope snaps from the stress put on it from the previous 29 takes...........

    take 31:
    ..........Luke grabs Leia by the waist and she kisses his cheek. "For luck," she says, then she adds in a fierce aside, "just get it right this time, dough-boy!" Luke mightily thrust away from the platform and they arc across the empty expanse to.......smack full-force into the side of the wall and they slide from sight, the Princess doing her best to choke the life from the farmboy.....
  14. Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Only because my daughter and I have yelled this at least twelve times while watching TPM.... :p

    Qui-Gon is running through Tattoine desert, a small boy hopelessly lagging behind.

    "Master Qui-Gon wait!"

    Qui-Gon feeling a disturbance in the Force turns to see a black-cloaked rider on a swoop during closer to the boy.

    "Anakin,...jump!" [face_devil]
  15. Gandalf the Grey Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 14, 2000
    star 6
    [Han and Luke are fighting Jabba's goons on the sail barge]

    [Han swings around with the spear, hits Fett's backback]

    FETT: What the heck are you trying to do?


    That was bad...
  16. JediCandy Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2000
    star 3
    Obi-Wan watched as the Sith fell in two pieces into the reactor shaft. He then turned and ran to Qui-Gon. Gathering him into his arms, he cried, "Oh, master! The evil Sith has killed you and you are no more!" He starts to wail. There is some movement in the figure he holds so close.

    "Obi-Wan...padawan. I'm not dead yet."

    "Oh, master! The evil Sith has mortally wounded you and soon you will be no more," and Obi-Wan again starts to wail. There is some stronger movement from the figure he holds so close.

    "Obi-Wan...padawan. I'm getting better."

    "Oh, master! The evil Sith has seriously wounded you and soon you will be hopitalized," followed by some half-hearted wails. The figure starts to struggle in earnest, trying to break away from the arms that hold him so close.

    "Obi-Wan...padawan. I think I'll go for a walk."

    "Oh, master? The evil Sith hadn't harmed you? Oh, master!" as Obi-Wan engulfs Qui-Gin in an enormous bearhug. Muffled sounds come from the weakily struggling figure held too securely in his padawan's arms. Suddenly, the figure ceased all sound and movement. Obi-Wan looks down, "Ooopsy."

    He glances over his shoulder and sees that there is no one there...he starts to wail, "Oh, master! The evil Sith has killed you and you are no more!" He starts to wail. There is no movement in the figure he holds so close...:eek: :( :_|
  17. Owe-me-one Perogi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2000
    star 4
  18. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    he he he.. monty python...

    YODA: Always three there are. No more, no less. A murderer, a weapon, and a room.

    MAcE: But which three was it?

    YODA: Think it was Professor Plum in the ballroom with the knife, I do.

    MACE: I was thinking along the lines of Miss Scarlet in the kitchen with the rope...


  19. Owe-me-one Perogi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2000
    star 4
    hmmmm lets see...


    Palpatine: "You have folded Young Skywalker!"

    Luke: Not a chance! I Have a Royal Flush! Take that!"

    Palpatine: "Doh!"

    (Oh my god that was BAD! :( I will make up for it i promise. )


    Bartender: "We don't Serve their *Kind* here!...their just to crunchy..."


    HUMAN: He doesn't like you.

    LUKE: I'm sorry.

    HUMAN: I don't like you either

    LUKE: Well Gosh Darnit! I didnt do anything to you! (IN a gay sounding voice)


    LUKE: What a piece of junk.

    HAN:Ya know.. Youre Right.. Isn't she?


  20. Uisceban Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 2000
    star 4
    Obi-wan is hanging on to the shaft. Then calls his Maters lightsabre to him but on the way he loses control and it clunks Maul on the

    "OUCH!! You idiot. Watch it!"


  21. Owe-me-one Perogi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2000
    star 4
  22. Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 1999
    star 3
    OBI; "Master, I have a bad feeling about this. Like I've forgotten something important."
    VOICE FROM CONTROL BOOTH; "The owner of a silver Ford sedan, XFY-359, your lights are on. Ewan, isn't that your car?"
    OBI; (Rushes off the set) "%#$@."
    QUI; "Aren't I always telling you to be mindful of your Focus, Padawan?"
  23. Owe-me-one Perogi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2000
    star 4
  24. Frostfyre Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 1999
    star 3

    ROFL!!!! :D These are great.


    Ackbar: Prepare to jump into hyperspace on my mark...

    (Crew waits expectantly)

    Ackbar: Engage. Oh, wait...I've got the wrong show, haven't I?


    (The duel in the Theed reactor. Maul has run Qui-Gon through, and comes to the point in the duel where he's supposed to do a butterfly kick. Unfortunately, he fumbles it, and lands flat on his face. Obi-Wan stares at him in astonishment, then runs over and sits on him.)

    Obi-Wan: I won! I won!

    Maul: Geroff me, you big dork!

    ((Okay, so they could be better...))
  25. Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 8
    Battle in the shield generator: Take 1
    Han throws his dufflebag missing the Imperial completely.

    Take two: Han throws bag, hitting another stormtrooper.

    Take three: Han throws bag hitting one of his own men in the back of the head.

    Take four: Han throws bag hitting Imp in the face. Imp begins to curse, saying, "Excuse me, in the chest please. It doesn't hurt as much there."

    Take five: Han prepares to throw but breaks into laughter. Everyone throws up their hands and walks away.
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