That Darn Cat- JA, humor, Obi-torture- complete Jan. 10th 03

OK I wanted to start posting this fic before beginning Everything That Can Go Wrong IV, expecially since I finished this one at school today. Enjoy.



Time: twelve years pre TPM- Obi= 13
Rating: G- Pg for some brief violence
Genre: humor and humorous (and not so humorous) Obi-torture.
Summary: Thirteen year old Obi finds out about Qui's thing for pathetic lifeforms when he has some trouble with Qui's new pet.
Feedback: [face_sad_puppy] Please? Pretty please?





That Darn Cat





"Master?" Thirteen-year-old Jedi Apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi asked suddenly, "what is that sound?"

His Master, Qui-Gon Jinn paused to listen for a moment. The two Jedi returned to Coruscant after a mission, and were on their way back to the Jedi Temple.

"I'm not certain," Qui-Gon said after a moment, "but I have a feeling I know where it is. And where it's coming from."

He reached under the transport and, sure enough, pulled out a slender little ball of warm, slightly damp fur. The cat mewed lowly, and curled away from Qui-Gon, favoring its hind paw.

"Master, what is it?"

"A stray cat. Look, Obi-Wan, it's hurt."

The Padawan looked at the small fuzzy curled up creature and tried to pat it.

"Poor thing," he said. "Can we keep it until it gets better?"

"Absolutely. Perhaps we'll even keep it for a while."

Qui-Gon picked up the cat and stroked it soothingly. It would have been a beautiful creature had its ginger fur been washed and brushed instead of dirty and matted. One paw was slightly twisted to the side in what looked a painful predicament but the heart-shaped nose was almost pinkish, signifying relative good health. The animal stared at the two Jedi curiously out of keen yellow-green eyes.

"Is he okay?" Obi-Wan asked.

"One paw looks sprained, but with food and care he should be fine."

The cat mewed more loudly and stood up. Qui-Gon smiled for a moment.

"Excuse me. This cat's not a "he," it's a "she." "

"I suppose we'll have to give her a name, Master?"

The elder Jedi thought about it.

"Cosette," he suggested finally.

"Cosette? What in Sith kind of name is that?"

"It's her name now and watch your language, Padawan."

"Sorry, Master," the boy stammered. Like Qui-Gon, he'd already been taken in by the cat's sheer cuteness, and neglected to mention that years ago he'd had some bad allergies to cats a few years ago. Perhaps that was Obi-Wan's first mistake. By the time the three reached the Temple, Cosette had ingratiated herself by nuzzling Qui-Gon's hand and purring lovingly.







Soon, allergies proved to be the least of Obi-Wan's worries. Within a day, he had discovered that sweet little Cosette hated him. Within three days, they were mortal enemies.Cosette's hurt paw healed suspiciously and startlingly fast. She took a while to explore the Jinn/ Kenobi quarters. After that she amused herself by sparking an all-out war with Obi-Wan. It involved clawing up most of the boy's furniture and drapes, scratching him twice (Qui-Gon said that the boy had frightened her,) and getting cat hair everywhere. The hair further aggravated the Padawan's allergies, making it harder for him to hold his own in the conflict. But the worst was yet to come. Soon Cosette began to infringe upon Obi-Wan's relationship with Qui-Gon.

It started in minor ways. Obi-Wan returned one day after several difficult classes but, when Qui-Gon tried to talk to him and offer him some comfort, the boy broke into a fit of sneezing and coughing.

"Forgive me," the Jedi Master said dryly. "I was just brushing Cosette."

Great now I can't even go near my Master without- cough- having an al- cough- allergy attack.

"You should really go down to the healers and get allergy shots, Padawan," Qui-Gon continued.

"It's all right, Master-" cough- "I'm-" achoo!- "fine."

"If you say so, Obi-Wan-" skeptically.

That same evening, as Obi-Wan finished cleaning up the dishes after the evening meal, he was confronted with a very d

 

OK I'm not terribly pleased with the very emphatic turnout that's about to overload my computer. Come on, someone, please, it can't be that bad!

 

Of course it's not, obi-wannabe!



It's adorable! Man, Qui's not being very sensitive, is he?



Very cute, indeed, obi-wannabe, and I feel bad for Obi....

Is there more?

 

Mortal enemies?



Oh, gosh, I just loved that line, obi-wannabe!!!

The whole post was lovely and downright funny. Still, I feel kinda sorry for our stuffy-nosed Obi! More soon, please.

 

poor Obi!

 

Astro: Thanks! No Qui isn't being very sensitive and you might see the point to this later.
Obi_ew:
LuvEwan: Well poor stuffynosed Obi is right! And there's even worse to come for him in this fic. Thanks for reading!
JKH:










Obi-Wan felt like gagging. It was ninth hour the next morning and Qui-Gon was already almost late for a meeting with the Jedi Council. Cosette had whined and cried and mewed about the prospect of being separated from her owner all morning, which in turn had gotten her hours worth of petting and coddling.

In the meantime, Qui-Gon had barely said a word to his Padawan. Obi-Wan considered apologizing, but his own pride and hurt got in the way. He'd thought that there was affection between him and Qui-Gon, that they were almost father and son. Now though he wasn't so sure. If there was really fondness between them, how could a bag of fleas take the boy's place so easily?

"Have the apartment in one piece when I get back Obi-Wan and don't forget to feed Cosette," Qui-Gon said curtly.

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan answered, his voice as cold as stone. It was the only goodbye they exchanged. Qui-Gon walked out of the door briskly. The thirteen year old considered going after him to apologize, then reconsidered.

He owes me an apology more, the boy reflected. He coughed and headed back to his own room to sulk for a while. Within moments, Cosette had opened the door and invited herself in.

"What do you want?" the teenager asked unhappily.

"Meow," answered Cosette. She padded over to a corner of the room and picked up a datapad in hre mouth. Before Obi-Wan could stop her, the datapad and all its contents were destroyed. He finally managed to grab it from her (resulting in two new scratches.) It had been his astrophysics report.

"Hey!" Obi-Wan suppressed the urge to strangle the creature and sighed. "You really hate me, don't you?"

"Meow," said Cosette again. The young Jedi glared at her.

"It's fun, isn't it? It must be great fun for you to eat my projects, pee on my clothes, and use me as your scratching post while you take my place at Qui-Gon's side."

"Meow."

With that final, definitive statement, Cosette leaped up onto the desk and jumped out the open window. Her lithe body twisted in mid air and she landed on an appropriately named catwalk and ran off into the depths of Coruscant.

Obi-Wan stared after her, shocked.

Oh, Sith. Qui-Gon's going to kill me.

Frustrated he momentarily lost control and kicked at the wall. Unfortunately, all that did was cause Obi-Wan to have a sore foot to go with allergies, scratches and a room that looked like a warzone. I guess I should go after that bag of fleas or else I'll surely die. He put on his cloak and left the room.

 

Haha haha haha, cat landed on the Catwalk...haha haha haha. Er...meow? Great story so far. Love it! haha haha haha...catwalk...haha haha haha haha...okay, I'm over it...heeheehee...

 

great story so far. update soon.

 

Up!

 

"What do you want?" the teenager asked unhappily.

"Meow,"

For some reason, that bit had me laughing my socks off!!!

And this is a great fic, obi-wannabe. Keep it comin'. You're a wonderful writer.

 

IceAngel: Actually that happened by accident and I tried to make it work. Glad it did.
PadawanLily: Thanks! Not much more to go in this one though I'm afraid but I try.
LE: Thanks! I liked that conversation myself. Kinda shows how Obi's overreacting just a wee bit.










An hour later Obi-Wan had walked for what felt like an eternity. He'd been attacked on the way several times and managed to escape with his life only thanks to his Jedi abilities. Right after leaving the Temple, he'd encountered a gang of ruffians who'd refused to let him cross their territory. This, the first attack, had been easy enough to deal with. The incidents however had grown steadily worse until attack number three, when a huge alien thing had grabbed Obi-Wan from behind and tried to stab him. He'd gotten away, barely. The only wound he'd received was a minor cut to the back. He had the feeling that somehow Cosette had arranged for him to be attacked, too.

Obi-Wan knew that the chances of his finding the cat were less than nil. But he had to try at least. Qui-Gon would be furious that he'd lost the fleabag. Though really the boy had not lost Cosette, she had run away. He did not realize that occasionally cats liked to go off by themselves. Thirteen years of having severe allergies to cat hair had restricted his relations with any and all feline creatures.

It's hopeless, he thought. I'll never find her. But just when he'd about given up, he saw a tuft of ginger fur perched on a rooftop above him. He jumped up, but Cosette saw him. She hissed and darted across a beam to a neighboring roof. Obi-Wan followed her over various ledges and catwalks. It did not take him long to realize where she was headed- the Coruscant Planetary Park. He watched the cat scamper over the skybridge and finally jump down to the park surface.

Now how am I going to get down?

Obi-Wan had to chase around for another hour before he found his way into the park. He ignored the various beings who stared at him as he ran. Great- I get to serve as entertainment for the whole planet. I should probably charge for this. Although he was not surprised that the sight of a young Jedi Padawan running around, panting, clothes and braid askance, like a Nubian waterfowl with its head chopped off, was amusing to most people.

He took a turbolift down to the ground level and searched the park hopelessly. At last he came to its edge and saw Cosette sunning herself on a mossy rock. The boy crept up towards her.

"Stupid fleabag," he muttered. He approached the animal-

- And with a loud meow Cosette took off again. Obi-Wan hadn't realised how fast the little bag of fleas could be. He followed her, panting, then with dismay saw where she was headed. Cosette was running straight into the worst, roughest district of Coruscant!

Sith- I can't get after her there, it's like going out with a big Murder Me sign on my back. But if I don't get her back Qui-Gon will kill me.

There was little doubt left in Obi-Wan's mind as he charged into the slum.

This mangy alleycat is going to be the death of me.

The streets here were gritty and lined with various beings begging for food and money. The Padawan had neither, and tried to avoid confrontation. He found Cosette standing on the back doorstep of a seedy bar, picking at the garbage.

"What's the matter, stupid cat?" He knew he should not take his anger out on an animal, but could not help it. "You've only been eating us out of house and home- the stuff Master Qui-Gon gives you isn't good enough? You have to go eat garbage and try to get us both killed?"

To these accusations, Cosette responded with an emphatic "Meow!" and went back to her foraging.

"So what are you going to do, boy?"

The voice startled Obi-Wan. He whirled around. A large humanoid man stood in the mouth of the alley, blocking out the little bit of light that entered. He was armed with a

 

YARG!

*screams*

*faints*

*dies*

*reborn*

that was a very evil cliffie!

 

You're cruel, CRUEL, CRUEL, CRUEL, CRUEL! Stupid CAT! I think the cat died, and was reincarnated as Anakin...SEE! The cat WAS the death of Obi! Just in a different form...ahha!

Great post! Update soon!
-Ice

 

Oh man that was good!! Qui isn't being very nice though. Though I have to say this...

POOR OBI!!!!!!!!!!!

The thing with the mean guy...ouch. Awaiting for more.

 

Thanks guys.










Am I dead? Or alive? Where am I?

Slowly, Obi-Wan opened his eyes. Immediately he recognized the healers' ward back at the Temple. Oh great. Here again. Well I guess it's better than being dead.

"Obi-Wan?"

"Master?"

Joy filled the boy's voice until he recalled that he had just caused the death of Qui-Gon's pet- a pet which the Jedi had been very fond of.

"Master, I'm so sorry, it was completely my fault that Cosette got killed, and I feel awful. I tried to save her but-"

"Rest easy, my Padawan. I don't blame you for that."

"You don't?"

Qui-Gon shook his head.

"No. Not a bit."

"Then- You're not going to punish me? I'm so sorry I couldn't protect her...."

"It's all right, Obi-Wan."

"Oh." Obi-Wan spoke again a few minutes later. "Master, I'm sorry I've been acting this way lately. I'm sorry I couldn't be kinder to your cat." Even if you did like her better than me.

"Padawan, I said it's all right."

"I was- a bit- well, jealous, Master. It wasn't easy seeing your pet taking my place in your heart, and getting all the attention."

Qui-Gon looked concerned.

"Obi-Wan, why would you say that?"

"Well- Never mind, Master. It's nothing." He regretted having said too much already. "Just forget about it."

"No. Tell me what made you say that."

"It's nothing important. It's just that Cosette seemed to occupy all your attention. I wanted some too. Forgive me for acting so childish."

"Obi-Wan, don't apologize. Listen to me. Just because I was keeping a pet that I liked didn't mean you'd been replaced."

"I-"

"Padawan, I really want you to know that I love you. Like a son. You'll never be replaced in my heart." He smiled and ruffled his Apprentice's hair. Obi-Wan looked really embarrassed.

"Well- you could've mentioned that before, you know."

"Should I have? Well, perhaps. At least you know now, Padawan. Besides, didn't you know about my penchant for pathetic life forms?"

"No. Master, I've only just become your Padawan."

Qui-Gon nodded.

"That's true. Still, I expected the whole Order knew about that. You never heard the story of that time I brought home a baby Wampa cub?"

The boy's eyes went wide.

"Master, I have got to hear this."

"There isn't much to tell, really. There was a Wampa cub escaped from a zoo on Alderaan. I was there on my first ever solo mission when I was eighteen, and rather than see the poor thing sent back to captivity, I brought it home with me. Angel, his name was."

"So what happened?"

"Master Dooku was not happy. It was the only time he and the Council ever agreed to my knowledge. They ganged up on me and made me send him back."

"Sorry about that. Master? How did you find me when I was attacked?"

"When I got home, I couldn't find you and sensed you were in danger."

"How'd you know where to look?"

"The Force guided me."

"Oh."

"Then I broke up the gang that had attacked you. Care to explain what happened?"

"Cosette ran away. It wasn't my fault, honestly, Master, I couldn't stop her. I chased her though until she went to this nasty bar where you found us. Then those guys attacked. They killed her and- Master, she'd tried to help me. She tried to protect me and herself. She was so nice. At the end, she was so nice."

Qui-Gon's expression was bittersweet.

"I'd hoped you'd come to realize that, Padawan."

"I feel terrible..."

"Sh. I understand, my boy. Don't blame yourself."

"Sorry I..."

"I already told you, Obi-Wan, there's no need to apologize."

"Thanks." Suddenly, Obi-Wan's eyes began to water. He broke into a fit of coughing.

"Master, you've still got cat hair all over you!"



Finis.

 

Oh my this story was good. Thank you.)

 

Awwww. That was really good!! It was funny and sweet. The cat didn't end up being so evil after all, did she?
Again., a wonderfully written story with a great touch of humor. The ending was a killer!!

 

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS!!!! Its so sweet! I have similar problems with my cat...Somedays I swear she's trying to dilibratly sabatoge me!!!