FIC: I Listen to the Silence (JA angst, H/C)

Title: I Listen to the Silence
Author: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)
Rating: G
Summary: Obi POV. Non-Slash. Takes place 3 days after Qui-Gon's death on Naboo.
Archive: Please ask me.
Feedback: Always in need of it!! Thanks!
Disclaimer: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.


Special Notes: I need to take this opportunity to thank my loyal readers, who write me EVERYTIME I post?you guys know who you are. I can't thank you enough for you comments, suggestions and encouragement. Thank you!!

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I Listen to the Silence
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Three days have passed since your death. The celebrations of victory are complete. The feeling of joy is all around. I do not feel that. I feel only emptiness in my life where you used to be. That place in my consciousness where your signature once was, is now silent. I miss that comforting presence that made me feel safe.

I listen to the silence and wonder how I function with its monotonous sound. There is nothing there, yet there is. When you died, part of my own self did as well. I didn't know how connected we were, until there was only silence left in your wake.

Everyone has been generous in their offerings. They tell me how sorry they are for my loss and how they understand how painful it must be. I know they mean well, but how can they understand how I feel? Have they lost the only parent they have ever known? Have they lost the one person that meant everything to them? Do they understand the shock that I know now? This silence that is so deafening?

I listen to the silence and reach out for what we once had. I miss you Master. More that you will ever know. I don't want my world to be silent. I want to laugh and live again. Will I ever be able to do that? I haven't cried since I held you in my arms as you died. I need to cry. I need to release this pent up anger and frustration that I feel. But there is no one there to help me. No one who can offer the shoulder that I need to cry on. You were always there. If I could see you just once more, just long enough to say goodbye. Why did you leave me Master? I don't believe that is was the will of the Force. There is peace with the Force, not the pain that I am suffering. If only I could hear you one last time. Be comforted by you again. Perhaps then, this awful silence would fade.

I listen to the silence and know that it is forever. I need to let go. I need to move on. How can I do that? How do I just forget what you meant in my life? I can't let your memory go. I don't want to let you go. I want you at my side again. I want to walk in your shadow once more. I want to follow two steps behind. I want you in my life. I want this sickening silence to end. Please Master; let me hear your voice once more. This is not how it was supposed to end. How can I go return home knowing that less than a week ago, you sat in that chair, you slept in that bed?you stood at my side. The silence will be even more intense. I need help Master. I don't think that I can do this. I am not ready to train Anakin. I am not ready for what you ask of me.

I listen to the silence and for a brief second, I think I hear your voice. Is that you master? Where are you? Don't leave me again. Please. I want to say goodbye, tell you that I love you. You are my father and best friend. Can't you stay just a bit longer? Help me adjust to this?this silence?

I listen to the silence and it speaks to me. It is you master. Your calming voice and your soothing presence. I feel your hand on my shoulder. You tell me that it's okay for me to cry for what I've lost. You say that you will always be with me. You offer that should I ever need you, all I need do is find that place in my heart

 

*sniffle* Oh gosh, Obi the Kid, that was so awesome! *sniffle* It seriously had me in tears!!! You did a wonderful job with the emotion - it was so sad!! Thanks for sharing it with us!!

 

"Three days have passed since your death"...
It's thrilling, Obi the Kid, it's thrilling from the very first line!
Brief and touching...
Thank you so much!

 

That was beautiful! You had me in tears from the first sentence!!

 

Thanks guys! This is one of my favorites. I was so happy with the way it turned out. This one is special to me!!

Forgot to put my website addy in there:

http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/

 

Oh man... *burst in to tears, AGAIN* That was so...sad, yet it had a happy ending! Thank you for the great fic. OTK!!!

It was another beautiful story that you have written. You ROCK!!!

 

I forgot the tissue warning!!

 

Oh, I thought this was going to be a continuation of that other fic "If I listen real hard" where Obi-Wan has to endure The Silence of not having a bond with his master for four days. Oh, well. This was good, too. Very poignant.

 

Thanks Jane...sorry to say that there won't be a sequel to that fic that you are thinking of. But I do have lots of others in the works.

 

That was so heart-wrenching! But I was happy to see he was at peace at the end! Wonderful OTK!

 

OTK you rarely fail to leave me in tears!!

LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Have a tissue kelly!!

 

That was too good! I am on the verge of tears... *sniff,sniff* keep up the good work
MB

 

you guys need to remind me to issues tissue warnings before I post these things. My next will be a humor fic I think...to lighten to mood a bit...BUT...more angst on the way!!

 

Up!!!

 

TOPPERS!!!!

 

UP!

 

one more time!!