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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Random Chance -Harmony Misunderstood - Part 3 - the conclusion 09/05/03

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by CYNICAL21, Sep 5, 2003.

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  1. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    * * * * * *

    This is the conclusion of a trilogy of vignettes, which was never meant to be more than one simple exploration of the "What if . . ." scenario - but the Muse would not be silenced, resulting in Part 2, the Reprise.

    And now - now fate has spun on its axis, and random chance - exactly as visualized herein - has taken its best shot and ravaged innocent hearts.

    Consider yourself warned. Though stringently within the PG rating - this is exceedingly dark - and not for the faint of heart; its creation was a form of catharsis for me - and there will be more, undoubtedly, as time unfolds.

    Some things one cannot speak of - not even to those near and dear, and certainly not to strangers, no matter how sympathetic.

    I will continue to write - and I will leave no stories dangling or unfinished - but more than that I cannot promise.

    Beyond that I will say only this; in this twisted, heartless, cruel world - there is no justice - but there is also no avoiding the path one is meant to take, and I am overwhelmed with the irony of these musings occurring to me at this exact time, as that haunting line echoes in my mind.

    Sometimes you only have to pay a little, but mostly it's a lot. And once in a while it's all you have.

    And I wonder if Mr. King knew - in his gut - the true meaning of those words when he wrote them. For his sake, I rather hope not.

    If George wishes to sue - he is welcome to take his best shot; I can guarantee that I won't even notice.

    REMEMBER: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


    ********** ************ *************



    RANDOM CHANCE - HARMONY MISUNDERSTOOD


    All nature is but art, unknown to thee;
    All chance, direction, which thou canst not see;
    All discord, harmony not understood;
    All partial evil, universal good;
    And spite of pride, in erring reason's spite,
    One truth is clear, Whatever is, is right.

    --- Essay on Man
    - Alexander Pope



    There was only the blinding, bright, painful, chilling whiteness - as opposed to the absolute, relentless, smothering blanket of starless night.

    There was nothing else; HE was nothing else, existing only in the one or the other, at the whim of the power - whatever it might be - that controlled this barren place.

    Awareness had crept up on him, like a beast stalking helpless prey - and sprung, clawed and pungent and shrieking, at the last moment, causing him to leap to his feet within the core of that brilliance, his mind scrabbling for purchase on a slick, oily reality that would not be grasped.

    Disorientation had swelled within him, until it consumed him and exploded through his consciousness to join and intensify the piercing brightness, and he had been forced to swallow the nausea that gripped him with clammy tendrils of foreboding.

    Where was he? What was this place?

    It was the first question - the instinctive question - but, as it happened, it would not be the most important of those that would soon occur to him.

    He spun wildly, shading his eyes against the white glare - only to comprehend that his efforts were futile; there was nothing to see.

    He was at the center of a big, white, featureless box - walls, floors, ceilings all composed of some kind of ceramic substance, stark white - with a hard gloss, creating subtle reflections of the shadowless illumination which bathed every inch of the cube with an ice-edged glow.

    The light itself seemed strange - hued slightly toward blueness, but with warm undertones, so that his hands, when he looked at them, appeared bloodless and spectral, but backlit as if touched by some inner fire.

    He looked around again - and blinked to focus - but it was difficult. The intensity of the light was just below the threshold of pain - just within the limits of tolerance - and he was unable to control a shiver that traced up his spine.

    Instinctively, he recoiled - and felt the back of his knees impact against the only object - other than himself - within the box; a padded platform, as white as the environment around it -
     
  2. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    I'm truly speechless. I can only hope that whatever Darkness life has thrown your way, this masterpiece of writing has helped you face it head on. My thoughts are with you.
     
  3. PaddyJuan

    PaddyJuan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2002
    I don't know what shadows you see, to write them so clearly, but my thoughts and wishes go with you on whatever road you find yourself on. I hope that your choices are less clouded and that you can see some sort of resolution less extreme.

    This does not feel like a story, a tale to entertain, but rather an expression of your own mental turmoil. I suppose that all authors with the level of talent and expression that you have shown put a part of themselves into each enactment, but you do so in a way that pulls your readers completely into your world and then forces us to see the bare truth in a way that the characters themselves seldom admit.

    I hope, for your sake, that you will once again find yourself in the position of being able to write of hope and of achievement. Until then, know that I am thinking of you and take care. I hope that this is not too personal for your tastes. If so, I will edit it. But I dislike seeing anyone hurt.

     
  4. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    I have only a few moments to prepare a response, oe & froggy, and I trust you'll forgive my brevity - but I would like to tell you a bare-bones story.

    Once upon a time, there was a young man, who was bright and witty and tremendously gifted - and artistic to such a degree that he astonished friends and family with his talents. He had a cousin - one day younger than he - a girl - and the two grew up together - closer than many siblings.

    When he was fifteen, he realized that he was gay; it wasn't a choice he made - or a conscious decision; it was simply what he was. His family was devastated; some of them turned their backs on him; others - like the cousin who loved him so - gave him their support and accepted him for who he was.

    When he was 28, he met the man who would be the love of his life, until his death 20 years later. After that death, he could find no solace in America, where so much hatred and prejudice continues to exist, so he moved to Europe, where he has been for the past decade.

    He came back to the States a week ago, and into my home three days ago, where he sat down at my kitchen table, folded his lovely, elegant hands together - and announced that he has AIDS. It really wasn't necessary for him to say it; I knew it the moment I saw him.

    You will have guessed, of course, that I was the cousin.

    He is the gentlest, most generous, most unselfish man I have ever known - and he will die soon - and there are those who look down their noses at him and observe that he's only getting what he deserves - that if he'd just 'behaved himself' and given up his 'unnatural' practices, it never would have happened.

    I'm not handling this well, it's true - but writing a story like this helps me to express the frustration and pain that I can't seem to handle otherwise.

    I thank you all for your input and your prayers - and I would ask you to pray for my David - if you can find it in your hearts.

    CYN
     
  5. PaddyJuan

    PaddyJuan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2002
    People who decide that a family member can no longer be loved because that person does love are beyond my understanding. Take the time you need to spend with him while you have it. Ignore those who tell you that hate and prejudice are more important than family and love. They are the ones that are wrong. There is nothing more important.

    Redemption is not about changing who you are to fit into the brainless mob mentality, but rather seeking and finding acceptance within yourself for who you are.

    You know how to reach me should you want to do so. My email is always open to you, although aim or pm are more rapidly answered.
     
  6. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    I loathe narrow minded people. Thank God he has wonderfully supportive people like you in his life. Your both in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  7. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I am truly sorry for the pain your David is going through and the pain that you are going through now ...and the pain yet to come.

    There will always be people willing to lay blame for life choices but not all do that, not all are narrow-minded and cruel.

    I hope that, in the times ahead, you will fill his days with love and light. Our thoughts go with you.
     
  8. ObiKajanee

    ObiKajanee Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2003
    You and I may not live to see it, CYN, but hopefully, someday, everybody in this country will grow up and accept one another for the human beings we all are. Perhaps your younger readers will see it.

    My best to you, and to David.
     
  9. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    I have never forgiven my neighbors for turning away their youngest son, also David, when he announced that he was gay. Apparently his choices went against their religious belief. It amazed me that they chose religion over a son. He was a very dear friend all through Jr High and High School. It broke my heart when he moved to another state and his parents acted like he never existed.

    I think his sister and I were the only two who grieved when she told me he was dying of aids. He wouldn't tell her it was aids, but she knew.

    My heart goes out to your cousin. And on the off chance he is also my old friend David ( a wonderful musician) my love goes to him as well.
     
  10. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 1, 2002
    I've heard people tell me that 'gays deserve what they get'. I didn't believe it then and I believe it even less now...

    My thoughts are with you both.
     
  11. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    CYN: :_| :_| :_|

    I am so sorry. What a horrible thing to happen to anyone, much less the sweet, unselfish person your cousin is.

    And in the Bible Belt, I am surrounded by the intolerant people who would say that homosexuals with AIDS are getting what they deserve. The names I would like to call them are not suitable for this family-friendly message board, but you get the point. They are much, much sicker, more deviant, less spiritual, and less deserving of an eternity with a loving Great Creator than your cousin ever was.

    I will pray...to my Higher Power, who loves everyone equally and does not promote the sad intolerance of this world.

    *hugs*
     
  12. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    I cannot tell you how touched I have been by the gentle goodness of the responses you have posted here - and my David (and no, PK - he's NOT a musician; he's grinning at the very notion. He's an architect who turned out to have a matchless genius for the restoration of antiquated buildings) is as grateful as I for your understanding and caring. David - though a whiz with PC programs that adapt and co-opt spacial concepts (and don't ask me because I don't know what it means either) has never been a big WWW user, preferring the real world to the virtual, I guess; anyway, I think if this medium weren't so anonymous, he might have been bothered by my frankness concerning his health - but, after an initial bit of shock, he seems to have recovered nicely, and has now read the entire Random Chance series. He remains, as always, my staunchest supporter - and my toughest critic.

    At any rate, I wanted to express my gratitude for your caring and your concern - but I find that I seem to share a bit of my tragic hero's temperament; I need to deal with this within the silence of my own heart. Hopefully, I can do so more successfully than he did.

    If you wish to comment on the story, by all means, please do so. As always, I am curious to know how you perceived it - if you liked it or hated it - if it inspired you - or made you want to vomit - etc, etc. But I have said my piece concerning this very special man, and I wish to say no more except in the privacy of my own thoughts. I must find my peace within my own spiritual silence. But I want you to know that your prayers and your comments have been much appreciated.

    I have work to do now - stories to write, and there will be little hope of happily-ever-after for a time. Someday maybe - but not now. And just to reiterate - I won't soon forget those who stepped up to offer unqualified support and tender mercy - or those who apparently couldn't find it in their hearts to do so.

    According to my sainted mother (southern belle to the core - but unfailingly adoring of her beautiful nephew who 'knows more about fashion than all of her style-blind daughters put together' - that's a quote) crisis reveals character. True enough!

    And yes, I know it's a stereotype - but it never occurs to her that it's anything but a compliment - and I think he adores her that much more for such lovely naiveté.

    Thanks again. You're the best.

    CYN
     
  13. Captain_Observant

    Captain_Observant Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2002
    Wonderfully written story CYN.
    I am sorry that it has taken me so long to comment on...I have found it incredibly hard to find words adequate enough, and doubt that the ones I give now are.
    I think that saddest part about the story is that it plays true to all of us; it reminds us of the demons we all try to pretend that we don't have.

    "What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal."
    -Albert Pike


    ~ The Captain
    P.S. My prayers are with both of you.
     
  14. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2002
    A truly haunting ending to this series of vignettes CYN.

    You and yours will be in my thoughts.
     
  15. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    A reader posed a question, via PM, that I think deserves to be addressed: how could the Sith have miscalculated so badly that he would damage Obi-Wan beyond recovery.

    And my answer is fairly simple: you have a Sith Lord - who may know everything about greed and manipulation and playing people off against each other, but who knows nothing of true nobility, true selflessness, and - most of all perhaps - true love. He knew that the child would prove to be Obi-Wan's weakness - but he did not understand that the young man's love for the little girl would grow to be the most important, most powerful force in his heart, and that the belief that he had betrayed her trust would ultimately destroy him, beyond any hope of redemption, in his own soul.

    Such is the nature of love - which is totally unknown - and unknowable - to those who only hunger and thirst for power.

    Just a clarification.

    CYN
     
  16. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    I actually found it easier to respond to your family situation that the last chapter. For some reason, that chapter just depressed me utterly. Not that it was bad; just the opposite in fact. The story was so real that I felt sucked in to the emotions, that is why I am upset by it.

    That and the fact that i am not going to Vegas tomorrow as planned. Unfortunately my cousin in Palm Springs died this afternoon (not unexpected) so I will be driving out to a funeral instead. Luckily both the hotel and the airline have been incredibly understanding and have cancelled my reservations with no penalty. So I will be around to visit with all of you this week.
     
  17. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    Thanks, Captain & Sheila - your kindness will not be forgotten.

    And you know you have my sympathy, PK. It takes a tragedy, sometimes, to remind us of where our priorities should lie.

    David and I are debating taking a quick trip to New York - if he feels up to it - a sort of 'farewell' tour, for he has always loved Broadway as much as I. The little devil grins at me and informs me he wants to see Rentagain - and I am just blown away by such courage and grace in the face of the ultimate adversity.

    That's a brand of courage I'm not sure I have - but I hope I could find it within me, if I ever needed to.

    Time will tell, I guess.

    Later, All.

    CYN
     
  18. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Cyn,

    I've been out of town the past few days and only just found this and your note. David sounds like a special, special man and I'm glad that you were blessed with each other. My hope for both of you now is that your time together is filled with much love and laughter.

    While I can't be there with a hug or a shoulder to lean on, I'm always available through PM and e-mail if you ever need it. My prayers and thoughts will be with you both.

    Shaindl
     
  19. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    And the final installment. This was a huge catharsis for me - and I am still rather fond of it, although it is bound now to settle into Board oblivion, though I might post it on SOTJ.
    Thanks for your interest, Tru - and your encouraging comments.

    CYN
     
  20. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I remember this series of vignettes very well. They were riveting, and darkly disturbing - the harsh images stayed with me long after I'd finished reading. And rereading them only brought the images back in full force.

    Brilliant as always.
     
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