Before - Legends FIC: Medical Adventures (JA, humor) *COMPLETED 9/12/03*

Here's the first part of my lastest humor story!

TITLE: Medical Adventures
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM. (Obi-Wan is 13) Non-slash. An infection leads to a lengthy stay in the hospital for Obi-Wan.
FEEDBACK: Yes, please.
ARCHIVE: Ask me first.
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

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Medical Adventures
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Qui-Gon Jinn walked in to his padawan?s room. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Obi-Wan?s forehead. Still hot. The fever had taken hold a few days ago without warning. The master had let it go this far, but with still no improvement, he knew it was time to take the boy to the healers. Obi-Wan would surely protest.

He gently roused the boy awake. ?Obi-Wan, wake up.?

Eyes filled with sleep began to open. ?Master?go away?no mush right now?sleepy.?

?Obi-Wan, I am not here to hug you. I am here to take you to see a healer. Your fever is not any better. We need to get you checked out.?

?No?cold hands?don?t let him near me??

?You are in no shape to argue with me. Can you walk or do you need me to carry you??

The young Jedi pulled himself upright and then fell right back down.

?Okay, I will carry you.?

~*~

Healer Terran Va?lor greeted the pair in the waiting area of the temple hospital. Obi-Wan was curled up in a chair moaning about cold hands and mushless masters.

?What?s wrong with him, Qui-Gon??

?I?m not really sure. He?s had a fever for three days now. It?s constant and I haven?t been able to bring it down. I figured it was time I brought him in here.?

?Good idea. We?ll take a look at him. Run the usual tests for viruses. Would you like to come back with him??

?I?d better. He?s already told me to keep you away from him. If he comes around and finds only you, it could get ugly. You know how he is when he?s here.?

?Ah, yes. Yappy.?

?Well, he?s like that everywhere.?

One of the hospitals younger healers came out to help move Obi-Wan to an exam room. An apprentice, Healer Kresh Sarem was new to the medical arena. And when Terran introduced him as his padawan, Qui-Gon offered a confusing look. Kresh was young, but not a newly turned apprentice. Perhaps sixteen or so. Qui-Gon asked Terran about him on the way back to exam.

?Kresh was one of the few who found out a bit late that his strong area was in medicine. He was a padawan to Master Kaim until a week ago. The council spoke with them both after Kresh struggled with a few missions. His saber skills were lacking, despite Master Kaim?s long and patient training sessions. However, during those missions, it was discovered he had a talent for healing. And to make a long story short, they transferred him and asked me if I would like to train him.?

?I thought your training days were over.?

?So did I. And after seeing the um?entertainment that Obi-Wan brings to your life, I never really had interest in taking another padawan.?

?Entertainment??

?What would you call it??

?Insanity.?

?I suppose Brazo can attest to that as well.?

?Brazo is better now. As long as he?s not left alone with Obi-Wan, things are safe. Anyway, congratulations on your new apprentice. Under your care, I know he?ll do well.?

Kresh had positioned Obi-Wan on the bed while the masters were talking. Obi-Wan opened his eyes for the first time since arriving at the hospital. He didn?t recognize the face in front of him. The brilliant copper colored eyes and the dark skin confused him.

?Healer Terran, I think you?ve been out in the sun too long.?

Kresh replied with a smile. ?I am Master Terran?s apprentice.?

?Oh no, more cold hands? Don?t touch

 

Up!

 

More!

 

LOL!!! Yay, another story from you! I really needed a good laugh today.

More soon, please!

 

LOL
He did not kill anybody.
Wow
Do you have more?

 

do to do te do... UP

 

Thanks guys! Glad you're enjoying it. Here's the next part...


~*~

The following day, Obi-Wan did wake up feeling worse. His fever was up and he felt a burning when he used the bathroom. So he flatly refused to go. Terran was in to check on him first thing in the morning.

?Good morning, Obi-Wan.?

?No, it?s not. How can you live with the smell in this place? I want to go home.?

?Sorry. Ah, fever is up I see. Any other?um?problems??

?No.?

?Good, then I want you to get up and use the bathroom.?

?No.?

?Yes.?

?No.?

?Yes.?

?No.?

?Obi-Wan!?

?What??

?Go. Now.?

?You sound like my master.?

?For the time being, I am your master. Go.?

?I can?t. It?hurts.?

?Ah, I see. Well at least you told me. Another symptom we were expecting. It?s normal. Today we will start you on antibiotics. They should help that.?

?Will I have a roommate while I am here? I really could use someone to talk to. I mean, I could always talk to myself, but that seems just a bit odd.?

?Never stopped you before.?

?Now you really sound like Master Qui-Gon. Where is he anyway? Why is he not here holding my hand? Caring for me. Telling me everything will be okay.?

?I sent him home. We are perfectly capable of keeping an eye on you. So, first things first. Give me your arm.?

?NO! You promised me you wouldn?t stick me with needles.?

?I did not. I promised you what my apprentice wouldn?t.?

?You?re getting to sneaky for your own good. Taking advantage of me while I am ill and sickly.?

?Do you want to feel better or do you want to keep talking until you just fade away??

?Feel better.?

?Then hold out your arm. It?ll just pinch your skin for a second. And it will begin to get the infection under control.?

Obi-Wan slowly uncurled his arm and allowed Terran to inject the first round of medicines. Once he was finished, the boy curled up on his side and ushered the healer away.

?You?re done. Go away now. I need rest.?

Shaking his head as he left, Terran muttered to himself. ?This is going to be a very long ordeal.?

~*~

Later that day, as Obi-Wan was stretched out on his bed with a cool towel on his face, his master walked in.

?Good afternoon, Padawan. You look?uh?not very well.?

?You left me here with that maniac, Healer Terran. He stuck a needle in my arm and then came back later to force me to eat this poor excuse for food. And I had to drink this fowl juice that he said would help the?um?burning thing.?

?Would you just relax and allow people to help you. This is not prison. They are here to help you get well. You know how you feel right now??

?Yes.?

?Do you want to continue to feel like that??

?No. I know. I know. Okay, I get it. I?m sorry.?

?Good. Anyway, I brought you some holo-comics and some clean underwear.?

?My boxers??

?No. Terran said no boxers. He doesn?t want there to be any chance of you doing your sexy Obi dance while you are here. You can?t do that in normal underwear. And besides, he will be having you dress in the medical gown today after they run several more tests.?

?Should I be afraid??

As if on command, Terran walked in the room. ?Hello gentlemen. Obi-Wan I have a new wardrobe for you. Here.?

A small, thin fabric robe looking object was placed in the boy?s hands. Obi-Wan unfolded it and stared. ?Um, where is the rest of it??

?That?s it. All patients wear them. I want you to put it on. The opening goes in the back. Do you need help to the bathroom??

Obi-Wan looked at his master in desperation. Qui-Gon was not falling for it. ?I can?t help you here. It?s not that bad. At least you?ll look like everyone else.?

The young Jedi almost snorted in disgust as he wearily made his way from the bed to the tiny bathroom. A few minutes later he came out looking pitiful. Hands clasped around his back trying to keep the gown closed. Skinny legs showing up to the knees. ?Is this how you torture your patients, Healer Terran? I can?t be seen in this. I have a re

 

More!!!

 

Teehee... I want to see Obi in a medical gown!

Awesome post, Obi!

 

laughing in public not good!

Wonderful so far !

 

I started reading this when I was at college today and laughed A LOT (as always ) Now people are gonna think I'm REALLY weird ('cause they already knew I was pretty odd )

Update sooooooon!

 

Thanks everyone! Hmm, Ginger you should know better than to read these stories in public.

Update coming tomorrow morning!

THANKS!

Obi

 

Oh, good...another Obi the Kid fic....Poor Obi-Wan, always in the hospital! And now I'm beginning to wonder where Brazo is? Doesn't Obi deserve a hug???

Keep it up.

 

I like this! More, please

 

funny

 

Thanks everyone!! Diane...hmmm..Brazo. Unfortunately Brazo doesn't make an appearance in this story...BUT look for him in a staring role in an upcoming humor fic!

 

Here's today's post!!!

~*~

Several days passed and the infection was not improving. Obi-Wan?s fever was up and down. He would have periods where he was bouncing to do anything other than lay in the bed. Then other times he felt so bad and only wanted to curl up and shut everyone out. One thing did manage to keep his attention though, no matter how he was feeling. Holo-soaps. Since he?d had the room to himself, he had free control of the holo-vid monitor. And he quickly found that the only thing on during the day were the holo-soaps.

The Old and the Forceless. As the Sith Turns. All My Padawans. Trolls of Our Lives. Guiding Force. The Bald and the Beautiful.

Obi-Wan had easily become addicted to just about all of them. And visiting him during those hours was the wrong thing to do.

Qui-Gon popped in early afternoon to check on his apprentice. ?Obi-Wan, how are you feeling today??

?Master, shhhhhhh. Padawan Kip just confessed to his master that he hates him because he had an affair with Yodera the troll. This is good. Sit down. Watch it with me. You see, Master Lance was secretly seeing Yodera. He knew his padawan didn?t approve, but the man is obsessed with trolls. Icky if you ask me, but whatever floats your boat. So Padawan Kip is getting ready to tell Yodera?s husband?.yes she is married?that Master Lance is seeing her. It?s gonna get ugly soon. You wanna put credits on Yodera? She?s been crossed before and has murdered her previous eight husbands. The original sith troll I think.?

?Padawan, you shouldn?t be watching this junk. It?ll melt your brain.?

?Then on this other soap, All My Padawans, Master Kyle just found out that he is the father of over fifteen of the pada??

?Obi-Wan!?

?What? Is it my fault he?s been a busy guy? Oh, the next hour is the good one. Padawan Connor had an affair with another padawan while his master had an affair with another master. AT THE SAME TIME! These people have such exciting lives. Master, sit down.?

?How about you stick your nose into these holo-books from the classes that you are missing??

?I am sick, Master. That will only make me worse. Don?t you love me anymore??

?Obi-Wan, stop. I am not hugging you right now if that is what you are shooting at. Yes I love you. But no, you can?t leave here. This is a place of healing. So I want you to heal.?

?Should I sit and beg too??

?Not funny. Do you want anything while I?m out? I have to run several errands today.?

?No. I don?t need anything, Master. Your sick and lonely padawan is fine here with what you?ve brought. I?ll somehow muddle through. I?m a survivor. I?m gonna make it.?

?A manipulative monster is what you are.?

Obi-Wan smiled and turned his attention back to the holo-soap on the monitor. Qui-Gon said his goodbyes and headed out the door. He greeted Terran with a nod as they passed in the doorway. The healer grinned as he approached Obi-Wan.

?Obi-Wan, you are going to have a roommate today. Finally someone for you to talk to. That should make your stay a little more enjoyable.?

?Really?? His tired face light up. ?Who??

And in walked the familiar dark-skinned form of Master Mace Windu. The smile on Obi-Wan?s face suddenly seemed to take on more of an evil grin. Like an animal sizing up it?s prey. Mace was protesting being forced into a bed. But he also complained of tremendous pain.

The master healer relieved his apprentice of the whining council member and came to stand at Windu?s bedside. ?Master Windu. We haven?t seen you in here recently. But I see from your chart that you are here for the same reason as before. Burns on your head and legs from hot waxing the hair. I?ve talked to you before about this, haven?t I? We have lasers available now for hair removal. Why you insist on using this primitive method is beyond me.?

?Someone turned the heat up on the wax without my knowledge,? the grumpy man replied. ?Just treat me and get me out of here.?

?Now, now. Is that anyway to behave in front o

 

Oh, Obi - your fics make me laugh.

This is just too good! You've found a way to combine two of my favorite Obi venues (adorable, sick/injured Obi and hysterically annoying Obi) into something that is just so good it must be illegal.

There are so many reasons I don't want tomorrow morning to come, but your fic is most certainly not one of them.

 

Obi-Wan sounds so annoying! He sounds sorta like my little brother.... More please

 

Well, I just reviewed at the 'other' site, so here's an 'up' for ya. Truly hilarious story.

 

Oh oh adult's stuff. Mace is going to be crazy. This story is so funny. Little Obi-Wan talking about soap...
Great post.

 

Loved how Obi-Wan revealed all of Qui-Gon and Master Bren's little "love" sayings to Mace. Kid can't shut up...LOL.

And his addiction to soap operas! Terrific!

Hope Mace won't kill Obi-Wan by the end of the fic. Or maybe he'll just have lots of blackmail material on Qui-Gon when it's all done.

 

You guys make my morning today! Thanks so much for all your fun comments!

Here's the next part for ya!


~*~

It didn?t take long for Mace?s sanity to begin to wane. He took great joy in the times when Obi-Wan?s fever was overwhelming and the boy only wanted to sleep. But other times, the young Jedi was unrelenting. He was almost at the point of bribing the healers to put him in another room. Begging did not seem to work. Four days after Mace was first admitted, he could take no more. Burns or no burns, he had to make plans for escape. Glancing secretly at Obi-Wan, who appeared to be asleep, Mace pushed his way off the bed and towards the bathroom to get dressed. He returned several minutes later still in his gown. Obi-Wan sat up in bed, grinning.

?What is so funny, Kenobi??

?They took your clothes too. Just like they took mine. It?s to prevent escape. Healer Terran may have cold hands, but he?s smart. I even tried hiding my clothes under the mattress. He found them. I think he has a nose for that stuff. How did you get a gown with sabers on it? Do they glow in the dark? My master has boxers just like that. I bet he?d like a gown like that. He would match. My gown has troll heads on it. The healers told me that the gowns for padawans have troll heads. I think they know that trolls scare us to death. So what better way to lead us to nightmares, right? Either that or they got these things on discount. I need to get my hands on one like you have. Do you have boxers that match??

?What is your obsession with underwear? I am not talking to you about that. I already told you.?

?Just making conversation.?

?Well, make it about something else. No, on second thought, don?t make it at all. You?ve been talking almost non-stop since I got here. They only time of quiet I get is when your fever makes you feel bad. I don?t want to talk to you about underwear. I don?t care about the daily events of your master. I don?t care about these holo-soaps. I don?t care about what your gown has on it. I don?t care about adult mush?well, okay I do care about that. But that?s none of your business either. I would like to relax so that I can recover and get out of here. So, please don?t talk to me anymore.?

Obi-Wan frowned slightly as Mace made his way back to his bed. ?You need a hug. I think you?ve been deprived. A hug would make you feel so much better. Can I hug you, Master Windu??

?NO! Don?t touch me.?

?But hugs are a necessary part of life. Even Master Qui-Gon is beginning to realize that. The council is in desperate need of hugs. I would be glad to help out in that matter. All except for Master Yoda and Poofy. I don?t hug trolls. That?s just not right. And Poofy doesn?t deserve mush. All that time he spends mocking my master. How do you work with him for so many hours in a day? Doesn?t his head hypnotize you with it?s swaying? Baaaaaaaaaack and forrrrrrrrrrth?baaaaaaaaack and forrrrrrrrrth?baaaaaack and??

?STOP TALKING! STOP IT! STOP!? Mace began to frantically press the emergency call button. ?Help me. Anyone. Get me away from him. Please.?

Terran came running in, flanked by his apprentice. ?Master Windu? Are you all right? What?s wrong??

?Terran,? Mace replied with clenched teeth and fire in his eyes. ?You will remove me from this room or I will?I will?I will?just get me out of here. PLEASE! I can?t take this abuse any longer. Get me out of here. NOW!?

?Now, Mace. Perhaps I could offer you something to help you sleep. Help you to relax.?

?Chancellor Valium takes that valorum drug to help him relax,? Obi-Wan added. ?That?s what Master Qui-Gon says. It really helps him.?

?Obi-Wan, it?s Chancellor VALORUM. The drug is valium. Don?t confuse the two.?

?Oh, right. I always do that.?

?HELLO!? Mace was close to the edge. ?Remember me? I?m the one who called you in here. Please get me out of here. I don?t want a valium or a valorum or any drug. I just want to get away from the padawan from hell. Is that too mu

 

lol very cute

 

I think Mace is going to need a psychiatrist after this...