The Assassin's Sabre (JA)

This is another one of my ventures into JA- any advice on my writing is appreciated.

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Prologue

Intiraph. The planet was small, and by many means, insignificant. A tiny jewel of white in a system in the Outer Rim plagued by asteroid fields and meteor showers, Intiraph shimmered in the light of the double star that served as center of the system. The two small moons of Intiraph, both the same cold climate, shone in the bright light down to the planet below, illuminating a stream of traffic between the moons and the planet.
Snow. It cascaded from the cloud of the planet to the surface, blanketing everything in soft, gleaming, white. From the ground, snow fell in droves from the sky, limiting the view to a few feet in front of the viewer.
The massive trees that lined the city-streets glimmered ebony, a stark contrast to the white snow that fell most of the year. A few grasses and ferns, a light blue that faded against the winter snow, poked through on either side of the marble streets.
Though any resident of the planet would see the sky as a dull gray, an outsider would see it as a bright silver by day. By night, the sky looked as it did on any other planet. The clouds, an eerie green color, were all the green seen on the planet.
A place of perpetual white, Intiraph was often overlooked by most officials. It had only one senator in the Republic, a human. It was rarely visited except for the frequent traffic from its icy moons.
Commonly called Intiraph VII, it was right at the middle of its system, bordering on the frigid limits of the Intisar double-star's heat reach. A small point of light in a galaxy of millions, it was easy to overlook Intiraph.
But today, several members of the Republic had come, and taken notice. For centuries, the planet had been torn in a brutal civil war, each moon siding against each other. The two major continents of Intiraph had been pitted against each other since early in the planet's history, when two families claimed the right to the throne, erupting in a war comparable to Earth's War of the Roses.
The royalty of the moon Tiriath I had sided with one side, while the royalty of Tiriath II had sided with the other, and the war dragged on for centuries. A second inhabitable planet in the system, Intiraph VI, fell under the government of Intiraph VII, but its tiny population remained neutral in the conflict.
But recently, the family of Selmac had won a crucial battle, capturing Intiraph's capital city of Obynne. In one last effort to avoid a bloodshed that would tear the planet apart, they offered the opposition a peace agreement. The opposing family agreed, and peace was finally achieved.
The ceremony was to honor the coronation of the new Selmac king and to celebrate the peace arrangement between the two families. The leader of the second house, the family of Nareji, had accepted the seat as prime minister in the new government.
The crowd near the palace consisted entirely of humans. All the other species on the planet were mere animals.
The palace was made of stone, echoing the architecture of ancient past civilizations. It hinted at the beauty of the Naboo reneissance, the simplicity of the Massassi ruins, and the elegance of the ancient Mikinna.
The ceremony took place in the palace courtyard. A glass roof kept the snow outside, and the new Selmac king and queen sat on the throne on the stage, near the statues and topiaries. The Nareji prime minister sat next to him. Each of the dukes and earls of each territory on the planet sat there as well. The princes and princesses, as well as the new Queen mother, all had spots at the head of the crowd. Standing near the stage were all the members of the Planetary Council, equatable to Earth's Parliment in England. The prime minister of Intiraph VI was there as well, along with the families of the Viceroys of Tiriath I and II. The planet's Senator Akina was there, as well as Senator Palpatine of Naboo, who represented the sector in which the Intiraph system resided.
The crowd grew silent when even Chancellor Valorum appeared.

 

Yay! You started! Very good! Post more soon!
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~Ånika §kywalker
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Great Start! Post more soon!

 

Hey Ty-gon, this is looking AWESOME!!!! More soon por favor!

 

Ty, you've done it again! This is great!

 

Chapter 1

Mace Windu, Adi Gallia, and Yarael Poof walked back to the Republic Cruiser. The cruiser was supposed to leave Intiraph within moments. The three members of the Jedi Council stood on the landing platform.
Windu still stood, looking back at the palace courtyard. He remembered that one chaotic moment. He followed Jo'nar's gaze to the balcony. There was a faint line of smoke coming from the railings- obviously what had attracted Padawan Milone's attention. He had reached out with the Force to look through the bottom. An object was there. It took no time for Gallia to get up there and find the gun.
Milone was always good at guessing- Windu guessed Jo'nar had just figured where the shot had to have been fired from and seen the smoke.
Adi Gallia touched Windu's arm. "He would have been too old anyway. You know that."
"He was only sixteen..."
"...And six is normally too old," Gallia said.
"The people of his family said he had the Force-sensitivity. And we weren't able to get here earlier."
"And that's why we had three extra Jedi Masters here?"
Mace Windu looked at her. "You're right. I'm sorry I dragged you all down here when just Tsiml and Milone' would have sufficed."
"It's okay, Master Windu. Come, we have to get aboard."

*****

Obi-wan Kenobi woke up the next morning on Coruscant. The cruiser with the three members of the Jedi Council was due to arrive within an hour. He pulled on his pants, his shirt, and his boots. He ran some water through a comb to wash out his hair. He washed it out, and adjusted his padawan braid.
The commlink on his nightstand beeped, and he picked it up. "Padawan Kenobi here."
"Obi-wan?"
"Hey, Jo'nar, how did the midichlorian test go?"
"Not well. The boy we were supposed to test was almost our age, and was shot before we could test him."
"Shot?"
"Assassinated is more like it. He took a blast to the chest- I looked to where it had to come from. There was something smoking on a balcony, and Master Gallia found a gun."
"That's terrible."
"Master Tsiml is a wreck. He's from here, you know."
"Oh, I didn't know that. I'm sorry."
Suddenly, a voice from the hall called in. "Obi-wan!" It was Master Qui-gon. "We're supposed to meet with Yoda before the rest of the council returns, remember?"
"Oh, of course, Master Qui-gon. I'll be right there." He turned back to the commlink. "I have to go. Will you be staying on Intiraph long?"
"A little while. I should probably get back to Master Tsiml. It was good talking to you, Obi-wan."

*****

Redeis Tsiml saw Milone' come back in. "Oh, Jo'nar. We finally got peace, and our future in the Force has still been ruined."
"It hasn't been ruined, Master Tsiml. Your mother was a Selmac, it has to run in the family somewhere. The Force potential will be realized again!"
"I know that, Jo'nar. Thanks for reminding me. We need to find Nyis' assassin- that's why we're still here. But we can't start the search now. Can you show me how well you can levitate, say, that droid over there."

*****

Obi-wan walked past the other Padawan quarters in the Jedi Temple. He reached the turbolift elevator, and came out at the balcony at the top level. From there, he could see all of the Coruscant skyline. The traffic stretched out in regular lines over the horizon. The sun was coming up over the Senate hall. The light illuminated the skyscrapers in a beautiful display of the city.
He thought about his friend Jo'nar. When Obi-wan was young, he had been in the care of Che'ka Demarge*- and after he started training with Yoda, he befriended the next boy who was supposed to be under Che'ka's charge. That boy was Jo'nar Milone'. Qui-gon had known Redeis Tsiml, too. It was doubtless that the assassination would have a profound impact on the temple.
Obi-wan felt a hand on his shoulder. Qui-gon Jinn, the Jedi Master responsible for his training, stood behind him. "Come, Obi-wan. We have to meet with Master Yoda."

*****

Far from Intiraph, on the planet Stepula, a small Force testing was going on. It was a more normal proceeding, since it didn't tak

 

Cool story, Ty!

 

I noticed that in my last post I had a * ... Here's the footnote:

*Che'ka Demarge: For more on this story, see Mekial's story "Scissors: A Young Obi-Wan Kenobi Fic."

 

OOOOH evil, evil, evil.

More

 

Ty-Gon...whats the link? I forget it.

 

The address for Mekial's "Scissors" is:
http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=752833&page=1
Mekial and I are good friends, in case you can't tell.

 

LOL Ty-gon. Es good!

 

Post more soon!
______________
~Ånika §kywalker
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LOL Ty-gon! Thanks for the reference to my story. And Stepula? LOL again. It's looking good, Ty! Keep writing!

 

Wow this is great! I look forward to reading more really soon!

 

Good to see you around, Mekial!!

 

Uppers!

 

I like very much, look forward to seeing more!

Btw.... Great description of the planet, I felt like I was there!

 

So did I!

 

Okay, I can't post a chapter today, but I should have one ready tomorrow. In the meantime, UP!

 

MORE Ty-gon!

 

Chapter 2

"Progressed much, Obi-wan has, Qui-gon. Proud you should be."
"Thank you, Master Yoda," Qui-gon said, sitting in a Jedi Council chair. Yoda had been known to use the entire room from time to time.
"Seventeen he is. Be ready to take the trials, soon will he be."
"Wow, Master Yoda. Thank you so much for saying that," Obi-wan replied.
"He has much to learn still of the Living Force, Master Yoda..." Qui-gon began.
"Of course he does. Keep his mind on where he is- what he's doing- that he must learn. And you are to be teaching him, Master Qui-gon."
"Of course, Master Yoda, and he progresses every day."
"Excellent. Going well your training is, Padawan Kenobi."
"Thank you, Master," Obi-wan said. "But may I talk to you about something else??
?Of course, Padawan Kenobi.?
?I'm concerned about the situation on Intiraph."
"Intiraph?" the old, green, Jedi asked.
"The testing of the boy, Nyis Selmac?"
"Sensed trouble near that testing I did."
"Jo'nar Milone' has contacted me- it seems Nyis Selmac was assassinated before the testing would begin."
"He was too old anyway," Qui-gon added.
?Too old or not, right I was. The testing was not to be.?
The light from the Coruscant sunrise finally peeked over the Senate hall, sending bright beams of light through the massive windows of the council chamber. It overpowered the bluish artificial lights of the building and illuminated Yoda in his regular chair. Qui-gon and Obi-wan sat directly across from him.
?Strong am I in the Force, Qui-gon. Felt a disturbance, I did. The testing was not to be, I knew.?
?Why are you two fixated on that?? Qui-gon asked. ?I foresee no impacts on the temple.?
?None at the moment, Qui-gon. While young Obi-wan has much to learn of the living force, you still have trouble with the universal. Impacts there will be. I sense danger still to come on Intiraph- Danger for your friend Redeis- Danger for all Jedi.?

*****

The assassin?s ship landed, this time closer to Intiraph. It landed on the planet Tiriath. Had Tiriath been any closer to Intiraph, it would have become a moon, known as Tiriath III. But as it was, the tiny planet orbited the Intisar double-star on its own.
The planet was torn in civil war, as was Intiraph until recently. Religious differences tore the planet apart, and the northern portion sided with Intiraph, while the southern portion remained Independent.
In the fight against his neighbor, a older warrior, fighting for Northern Tiriath, had discovered an amazing ability he had- the ability to hold out his hands and push opposing troops away through some sort of Invisible force. Many people in the north believed it was an act of the Force, while those in the south believed it was magic. Whatever the reason, the power had drawn the assassin.
The older man, hands outstretched, charged up a hill, holding back the enemy.
Suddenly, a spray of gunfire came from above. The old man was not protecting himself from the sky. They had a shield, but it only handled the larger objects- the blasts of laser pistol fire rained down easily.
The first shot caught the man in the head, the second striking his already dead body.
The assassin?s ship flew off once again, to observe the targets on the planet of Intiraph.

*****

The Obynne plaza was an amazingly beautiful place. One end was a plaza area- a large, brick semicircle that served as sidewalk. On the circumference ran a raised sidewalk that reached its tallest height at the very back, and served as front entrance to the palace. On either side of the palace stood an arch, similar to the ones on Naboo, and each led to a walkway toward a different district of the city. On the right, beyond the arc sat the Obynne courthouse, and gigantic eatery- fine dining on the first floor, a cantina on the second- sat on the left. Beyond that, there were small stores. A thin brick wall, matching the sidewalk, rose one meter off the side of the raised sidewalk, provided a railing so no one fell to the plaza surface. The raised sidewalk ended and flattened into the plaza several meters befo

 

Awesome description of Obynne!

 

Holy cow, I found this on page 8.
I'm working on a post for tomorrow. In the meantime, UP! again!

 

Okay, I take that "tomorrow" part back. Here's the next chapter.

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Chapter 3

Two Weeks Later?

Obi-wan sat pouring over his ?homework.? He was looking through the old books of Jedi lore- the prophecies, the proverbs, the histories, the sayings that sounded like Yoda or a fortune cookie.
A knock at the door disturbed him. He looked up, and Qui-gon came in to the room.
?Hello, Master.?
?Hello, Padawan. I just spoke with Master Tsiml. Now I can understand where you were coming from after you talked to Jo?nar.?
?Is he doing okay??
?He?s a little shook up. He?ll be fine, though. Goodness, Padawan, you don?t have enough light in here. You?ll hurt your eyes.?
He turned on the overhead light, and the bed, the drawers, the big window, the picture of himself as a two-year-old and Che?ka Demarge on his nightstand, and the small closet and bathroom, were all illuminated, overpowering the light from the open door to the hall and the lamp on the desk. Obi-wan squinted.
Qui-gon sat down on the bed. ?I?d never heard a knight as torn up as Re?deis was, Obi-wan. You were right, this is going to have an impact on the temple.?
Obi-wan opened his mouth like he was about to reply, but Qui-gon changed the subject. ?What are you studying right now??
The tired Obi-wan looked back at his book. ?It?s the old Jedi prophecy. I?m almost done with the stuff about the one who will bring balance to the Force.?
?You?d better get some sleep, Obi-wan. I?ll see you in the morning.?
?Goodnight, Master.?
Qui-gon turned the overhead light back out. He closed the door, and left Obi-wan alone.
Obi-wan turned out his lamp to get ready for bed.

*****

Jo?nar Milone? sat in the small room. The palace in Obynne featured a number of small apartments on the upper level, facing the plaza. They served as dwellings for the Senator, visiting Jedi, and other visitors from Coruscant.
The apartments consisted of a tiny front room, a small kitchen, a bedroom, and a bathroom. It was a lot like a hotel suite. Jo?nar sat in the front room.
He sat, looking out the window, when Re?deis Tsiml walked in.
?Hello, Master.?
?Hello, Padawan. I just spoke with Master Jinn. He was very supportive.?
?How was Obi-wan??
?He was fine. You?ve been away from Coruscant for over two weeks now- are you doing okay??
?Yes, sir. I just had to get used to the time difference.?
The sun was just setting over the plaza, though it was after midnight on Coruscant. The Intisar double-star sent bright beams of light into the room, silhouetting Jo?nar. The fountain could be seen outside the window, and some wisps of fog beyond that. The deep red curtains stood out in contrast to the silvery sky, and the blues of the room shone in the light.
Tsiml sat down next to Jo?nar. ?I have been kind of torn up these last few weeks, haven?t I??
?It?s okay, Master Tsiml. I understand.?
?We haven?t had any action out of our assassination since the old man on Tiriath. That?s a good thing.?
?It certainly is, master.?
?Jo?nar, I apologize if I?ve been distant recently..."

*****

?Apparently, Master Tsiml was Nyis? age when he was identified for Jedi training,? Jo?nar said on the commlink to Obi-wan, ?and that?s why he?s getting so torn up. It?s amazing he was even allowed to become a Jedi at all.?
?Oh, I didn?t realize that. But I?ve been studying prophecy recently- one of Master Yoda?s says that one man too old will bring hope to the galaxy.*?
?That?s why Master Tsiml is still only a Knight. He?s still learning.?
?How are things where you are??
?Things are going fine. Our assassin is laying low.?
?That?s good, to some extent. Hold on??
Jo?nar could hear Obi-wan talking to someone, and then Obi-wan came back to the comm. ?I have to go. I?ll see you soon.?
?Bye, Obi-wan.?

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(* This prophecy, of course refers to Luke- I thought I could make things a little more interesting by throwing in an original one.)