Saga Flotsam (vignettes)--AU Obi, Qui, part 8 (2/13/04)

Hi! I know this scene has been done to death, but I hope this is a different twist. It just sort of occured to me and demanded to be written.

Again, if there is anything in here that strikes you as deficient, please let me know. It's a kindness to know how one can improve one's self.

* * * * * * * * * *

Rejected.

Unwanted.

Discarded.

Refuse.

Rubbish.

Detrius.

I should have expected this, shouldn't I, Master? You never did want me a decade ago. I just managed to...forget. I thought, hoped, imagined, that if I worked harder, maybe you would accept me as worthy of your tutelege.

I was wrong.

I was only another pathetic lifeform you tolerated until someone better came along.

Even while you asserted my readiness for my Trials, I could tell you didn't mean it, not really, for in your next breath you described me as "competant," still in need of instruction but incapable of learning more from you. Such a ringing endorsement, Master! And you wonder why the Council disregarded your pronouncement?

Force, I could use some meditation, but the sithly Council meeting just won't end! I dare not purge these emotions in front of he Councillors or you, no matter my need: Force forbid the Council should use my inner chaos to justify postponing my Trials an additional year or two! I could see how that would please you, being stuck with your second-rate padawan because I made an Initiate's error.

"--return to Naboo...draw out the attacker," Master Windu drones.

I try, that is, I listen as best I can, considering the circumstances. You look composed, Master, but I know that if I were to open my side of the bond, I'd sense euphoria that you've finally found a worthy apprentice, and frustration that my mere existence had muddled your plans. Fine. I swear I won't remain in your way much longer.

Uh-oh. Master Yoda is staring right at me, and his ears are twitching downwards. Of anyone in the Order--including you, Master--Master Yoda reads me the best. Sometimes I wonder whether...whether he was supposed to have been my master. But that is silly. Why would the Force link the great Master Yoda with a reject such as myself?

Master Yoda interrupts Master Windu mid-word. "Ready for his Trials, say you, Qui-Gon?" You open your mouth, but Yoda taps his stick on the ground. "Think first you must," he chides. "Important this is. More than a prophesy at stake is."

You pause, probably calculating whether your grandmaster can sense the deficiencies within me. Finally you nod, "Yes, Master Yoda."

"Very well." Master Yoda turns back to me. "Padawan Kenobi the Queen will escort. Master Windu accompany him, he will." Mace's eyes bulge as if in surprise, but he makes no outcry. "This mission as Obi-Wan's Trials will serve. What say you?"

"I object!" you shout. "That sith creature is too dangerous--"

Ah, another area in which I need instruction, then? I thought that at least my 'saber skills were adequate. I suppose I should feel gratified that, whatever you think of me, at least you don't want me dead.

"The sith creature no longer your concern is. Choose your padawan's Trials, you cannot. If ready he is, then ready prove himself he will. Padawan Kenobi, ready are you?"

What other choice do I have? Accept, or be tossed aside? "I accept, Master Yoda."

And who knows? I might even survive.

 

The twist at the end was great! Yoda showing Qui-Gon that he's leaping before he looks, only now his apprentice may pay the price.

But then again, Mace may wait for Obi-Wan and they'll fight the sith together, whereas Qui-Gon didn't wait for Obi-Wan, thinking he was protecting him, only to get himself killed and leaving his apprentice to face the sith alone.

~Bek

 

Very moving look into his possible emotions during that hated scene ! Your dialogue and style are very lovely.

 

Bekah_K: Howdy! Thank you for your kind words. And as for your supposition...er, no comment. Lol, that's my way of saying, "You guessed it spot-on." Then again, since I'm not planning to type up anything to do with that battle (I can't visualize, much less write, battles)...well, I don't reckon I'm giving anything away.
Thanks for reviewing.

obi_ew: Hi. You are *way* too kind, like always. I'm probably the least observant person in the world: I never realized the possible emotional fall-out from Qui-Gon's declaration in that scene ("so he's trying to take a 2nd apprentice? so what?") until I started reading the fanfics on these boards, so y'all've been great teachers. And, of course, MBTI theory doesn't hurt either.
I appreciate your gracious feedback.

 

Hi! Somehow this follow-up vignette just sort of came to me. I hope it's to your liking. And if not...well, I wouldn't mind criticism.

* * * * * * * * * *

"But Anakin has come so far," I protest.

Mace Windu shifts slightly in his chair. I recognize that set jaw from our creche days--he will not budge. "Be that as it may, Qui-Gon, it's been ten years, and--" My childhood companion heaves a sigh and seems about to continue when the subject of our discourse interrupts.

"It's all his fault!" My apprentice gestures vehemently at the figure seated just to Depa Billaba's right. Anger ripples across our bond, then ceases as he shuts his end. "He turned the Council against me, just like he did the rest of the Temple."

Ginger eyebrows shift upwards, and the newest councillor stares piercingly, almost accusingly, at me. I sense the mental demurs of the assembly; Anakin does not aid his case here.

Oh, I can understand Anakin's frustration readily enough. Even under optimal circumstances, the Chosen One himself (much less any other Jedi) would be hard pressed to live up to Obi-Wan Kenobi's standard...and Ani's childhood as a slave could only be described as suboptimal, at best. It did not help him either that by having me as his master, he would face the inevitable comparisons. Still I cannot countenance his loss of serenity, or his disrespect towards a blameless man. "Anakin," I reprove him.

I do not often raise my voice to my apprentice. He always reacts poorly to it, a remnant of his enslavement I believe, but he has been improving; if only the Council would notice--why won't they notice?! My padawan bristles slightly but does not speak another word. We will have to talk.

For the slightest fraction of a nanosecond, Mace's eyes drift towards Obi-Wan. Few others, even among the Jedi, would notice this mannerism, but I do. He has always evinced a fondness for my former padawan, but their closeness has only grown since Naboo. I'm not surprised; Obi-Wan is incredibly easy to love. "A Jedi knows not love" indeed! I did not realize how much I would miss him when--

"--That is an...interesting accusation to make of a Council member, Padawan Skywalker," Mace rumbles in full Councillor mode. He shows more restraint, more...compassion, than I anticipate, however.

I cannot reach Ani through our bond, so I drape my arm about my apprentice. Perhaps by reassuring him, he will apologize and abort this folly.

He steps loose from my grip. "Well, it's true! He didn't like me when we met. Then he got jealous when Master Qui-Gon chose me over him, and he's hated me ever since."

This is a unique, albeit twisted, interpretation of events during that Council meeting. I never shunted Obi-Wan aside for Anakin--never!--and I never would. Obi-Wan had been more than ready for his Trials months before Naboo, as his Trials demonstrated; I was just holding him back to let him grow into himself, and (more importantly) to protect him from the Council who would view him as merely another expendable knight. I wonder briefly how Ani came to such an erroneous conclusion before I banish the thought. More important that I disabuse him of the falsehood immediately before it can damage him further. "Anakin, that's not what--"

As Depa Billaba has begun to speak at the same time, and with no inconsiderable fury either, I fall silent for now. "I'll have you know, Padawan, that Councillor Kenobi has recused--"

I blink. Apparently this interpretation is not quite as unique as I supposed, although I don't see how a vaunted Jedi like Depa could have believed the same fantastic tripe as Anakin, especially since she's such a close friend of-- Suddenly I suspect I know, but I deny the reason to myself.

Obi-Wan can't believe that...

My former padawan softly but resolutely interrupts, "Knight Billaba, if I may?" When she bobs her head in acquiecence, Obi-Wan continues. "Master Jinn's opinion of me is irrelevant to the matter at hand," O

 

This story is excellent so far. I can't wait to read what happens next.

And Anakin needs a swift kick to the pants as well. <grin>

 

I'm still very perturbed that it says "vignette" in the title. I want you to keep going!




tf

 

Wow! Obi-Wan is on the Council! That's a new twist! Anakin of course is annoying! Only one word of advice...more!

 

This is quite a twist. So the two never talked about the Council meeting and what it truly meant. Not good! They need to talk! And it's too bad that Anakin didn't realize what was really going on during that time - he might have turned out differently.

Good job. Hope this morphs into a story and not just 2 vignettes!

 

Oh, this is just too intriguing. Marvelous reversal of fortune, Lurkalidth - and tremendously compelling. You simply can NOT leave it like this, when we're all hungering for more and more and more Qui-Gon serving himself huge helpings of crow. Jinn remorse is always welcome - in mega amounts.

Good job.

CYN

 

You captured Obi-Wan's POV perfectly in the last part. The premise is interesting too - I've never seen it done before. Second part, interesting developments. You had better plan on continuing this though - I want to know what happens next.

In the beginning of the second part, the change in POV was a little confusing, but otherwise, this is fantastic.

~Calantha

 

Wow this is great. Obiwan on the council. You must have been reading some of my dreams. I have often thought what it would be like to have him on the council. I think it may be possibe that Obiwan thinks QG chose the boy over him. That council meeting was tense. I am waiting to see what you show us next.

 

**Points up to title bar**

Yes, I agree, that 'vignette' just doesn't go there, does it?

Wonderful work, Lurkalidth. The emotions are so piercing and well expressed, I was hanging off every word. I can't wait for MORE.

 

Very interesting...
It is a unique twist on the story!!
Keep going!!

 

Wonderful post Lurkalidth!

Obi-Wan passed his trials and was given a seat on the Council -- I agree, that's definitely a twist!

How could Qui-Gon not see Obi-Wan's plight when he asked to train Anakin, therefore, pushing Obi-Wan to take his trials and clearing the way for Anakin to take his place as Qui's apprentice. Of course it looked as if he were trying to push him out of the way...and everyone else viewing it the same way only goes to show how naive Qui really was/is.

Hopefully this isn't all!

~Bek

 

Wow! I'm overwhelmed by your very kind (and enthusiastic) responses. Thank y'all very much!

I just wanted to say that the reason these are vignettes is because me 'n' DWB are on a first name basis (he's called "Goliath," btw ), and although I know what I'd like to write next, committing to it is a surefire way for DWB to take up residence inside my brain.

MysteriousRaven13: Hi! Thanks. As for Anakin's behavior, hmm, I can sorta understand it. "Marsha-Marsha-Marsha" indeed.

TheFallen: I appreciate your encouragement. I would like this to continue too. ::crosses fingers::

obi_ew: Actually, you inspired me on that plot point, you know? It was very easy to envision him there, especially since he's had a decade to dedicate towards honing his (already formidable) connection to the Force, w/o having to shepherd you-know-who around. Besides, to our knowledge, he hasn't annoyed/defied the Council as much as BH. But thanks for your generous words. It means a lot to me.

dianethx: Howdy! Yes, you're definitely right on all counts. It's just too easy for a person to assume he knows what's going on in the other's person's head, and if you think you *do* know someone else's motivations, you don't really think there's a reason to ask. I do feel sorry for Anakin, though: the pain he feels was real, even if some/most of it derives from his own misrepresentation of the situation.
Thanks for your comments. I'm very glad you liked this, that it measures up somehow, since I really enjoy your portrayals of Q&O in "Betrayal."

CYNICAL21: I'm very honored that you'd read this. I love all your works, and a lot of your concepts have inspired me. Your works are just so vivid; reading them is like living them. And yeah, I agree w/ you w/r/t Qui-remorse: if he can't feel or express it in the movie(s) or books, dadnabbit, he's going to in my story-attempt. Grr!

Calantha: Hi! I'm sorry about making this more confusing, and I guess I am cheating by changing pov's: if I were a good writer, maybe I'd be able to convey the same message w/o changing the perspective. But thanks for the compliment.

CrystalKenobi: Et tu? Kewl! After all those stories where Obi-Wan's tortured and treated like dreck, it's nice for him to receive the laud he merits even if he is torturing himself.

LuvEwan: Aw, gee; thanks! This is quite the compliment, coming from you. You are a very well-rounded writer, of course--almost everyone on these boards is imho very highly gifted--but I'm in awe of how you portray those special Qui-Obi moments, so your words mean a lot to me. Thanks.

Captain_Observant:: And thank *you*! You've got one of the more unique stories going, in the Before Saga boards. It will be interesting to see what happens on Alderaan (and whether Qui-Gon ever feels remorse for tearing Obi-Wan's life apart).

Bekah_K: Hi! You're way too kind. Well, Obi-Wan's gone from slaying a Sith during his Trials, to being sent Force-knows-where as a solo knight...and I tend to think that, w/ his low self-esteem, he (1) wouldn't have confronted/defied the Council very often and (2) would've been perhaps even more conscientious about doing his best (an overachiever) than others. But oops, I'm giving myself away.
The thing with focusing on the moment is sometimes you don't see the wider ramifications, you don't see how others (who *don't* live in an eternal now) place an event into a context you didn't necessarily intend, and while you've moved onto another moment, others are stuck behind.

 

This is a great story, Lurkalidth, I hope there's more!!

I love that Obi ends up on the council!



Great job!!!

BTW, if you've written anything else you have to let me know so I can read it!!!!

 

Great job, Lurkalidth! I hope there's more - a whole lot more, too!

Shaindl

 

astroanna: Howdy! Gee, thanks; that's really nice of you to say, especially since your writing brings me so much enjoyment.

Shaindl: Hi. I'm very honored by your praise. I have to admit that I've been lurking on your stories. I like your chemistry, the subtle differentiation of relationships, in your works. Your Dreams Die Hard engrossed me. So, um, thanks.

 

Hi! I've evaded DWB once more (yippeee!).

As always, please feel free to tell me if you think something's amiss w/ this attempt, like if this sounds too maudlin, OOC, the writing's lost intensity, etc. I don't mind. It will not hurt my feelings. "Negative" feedback is actually positive, for it helps steer the recipient in the right direction.

Thank you for reading this.


* * * * * * * *

"Master Jinn."

The padawan's eyes narrrow, the voice sounds flat, and I strongly suspect that this young man does not welcome me here--indeed, that he wishes I were anyplace but this stretch of hallway. I wonder briefly why a student--one obviously at leisure, from the partially undone state of his clothing--would answer Obi-Wan's door. Then I remember: this must be Obi-Wan's fosterling, the masterless padawan he'd rescued on a mission months ago, which would mean the youth's name was...

"Padawan Kn'Cor," I nod my head slightly in greeting, "I would like to speak with Ob-, Councillor Kenobi, if he's available."

The youth's shoulders tense slightly, and a pulse of...concern?...escapes his shields. "Master Obi-Wan's not here," he responds reluctantly, almost defiantly.

Master Obi-Wan? He'd adopted the young man as his own padawan, then. I stifle the pain that Obi-Wan never introduced us, never saw fit to notify me of such a momentous decision--this wary lad is my grandpadawan, after all. I'm not especially surprised, however, that he's taken a learner, nor even that he's chosen an orphaned padawan, a man scarcely twelve years his junior for the honor (and it is an honor). It seems I'm not the only one with a penchant for "pathetic lifeforms," despite Obi-Wan's protestations to the contrary. I would have expected the Council to disapprove of the unorthodox pairing, but then I feel the Force swirl around me, and I sense the rightness of the match. The Council wouldn't knowingly defy the Will of the Force...even though they've been doing precisely that with Anakin. Selective blindness, perhaps? I sigh to myself. This isn't about Anakin. Focus on the moment.

The padawan stands still during my ruminations, awaiting his dismissal no doubt. Not this time. "Would you happen to know where he is?" I ask.

He flinches, and now defensiveness pours from him. I resolve to discuss the young man's erratic shielding with my pa-, former padawan. "He's in the salles with an initiate class," the student answers.

"Yes," I murmur. In past years Yoda preferred to teach such classes personally, but I have noticed my grandmaster delegating many of his non-Council responsibilities to Obi-Wan. Does Yoda know something we don't? I quickly consult the Force but find nothing. I resolve to reflect upon this later during meditation. Well, no matter Yoda's motivations, he could not have chosen a more capable steward for these duties.

"Thank you," I tell the young man. I really ought to talk with my former apprentice at once, but the Force has other ideas, and I must obey. "Would you mind if I wait inside?" I find myself asking, when I'd much prefer to head out to the training rooms.

The young man's eyes bulge, and I can sense his alarm seeping into the Force. "Uh...uh...it'll be a while," he squeaks. "He has another class after, a Council meeting, and--"

"That is fine," I tell him. I smile to put him at his ease. It doesn't work. Why would my very presence elicit terror from my own grandpadwan? Strike that; not fear, protectiveness. My stomach roils. First Depa, Mace, Bant, and now Kn'Cor; Force take it, why does half the Temple believe they have to protect Obi-Wan from me?

Because they're right?

I reject the thought. Oh, they certainly think they're right, and misguided though they are, they do have only the best intentions. Unlike Ani, Obi-Wan always excelled at winning defenders.

The padawan silently leads me into the common room. I pause for a moment from the entryway: unadorned white walls, st

 

This was a truly wonderful post! Obi-Wan taking on an appprentice who suffers from the exact same insecurities he had and a nice and understanding Qui? Wish I could offer you some profound comments that would help but you are doing an excellent job already. Eagerly awaiting more.

 

another step in Jedi Kenobi's development at the cost of Obi-Wan Kenobi's humanity. What a wonderful line, Lurkalidth. [face_shocked]

I'm continually loving this. It's so deep and Qui-Gon's so perfectly in character. I like that he can actually make the connection between Obi-Wan and his new Padawan, the pain they don't realize they share. At least he understands how he harmed his apprentice in the past.

There's so much I want to say...It was just so great! But I'll limit myelf to saying this was beyond excellent. Really emotional and I can't wait for more--especially if (when?) Obi-Wan returns to find this unexpected guest!

Wonderful job.

 

I can't think of a thing to say but lovely! It was wonderful, from Qui-Gon's realization of his failures to the poor Padawan anxious to please Obi-Wan and all the emotions in-between. This was very well done. I just hope that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan can reconcile their differences for both their sakes.

Keep going!!!

 

*applauds wildly*

My dear, it's like I said before...you just keep getting better and better...brava on another winner!

The original character you've created is so endearing, I hope we get to see more of him...

I'm so excited for you! Yay!!

 

I love the interaction between qg and obiwan's padawan.