Saga Operation Darkside II: The Ride of Yoda's Life (1post, humor)

Operation Darkside II

By: lordmaul13

Disclaimer: It's the flannelled one's sandbox, I'm just playing in it. Please don't anybody sue me.


?The plan is ready to go?? Qui Gonn Jinn asked.

?Yes? but there is one thing I don?t understand,? Obi Wan Kenobi replied.

?What?s that?? Qui Gonn asked.

?Well?? Obi Wan continued. ?Darth Maul killed you and then I killed him so??

?So how are we alive and well now, just a few months before Attack of the Clones?? Qui Gonn finished. ?Simple. We never really died. Didn?t you notice at the end of the movie when they were ?burning? my body that my hair and beard weren?t even singed??

?Oh yes?? Obi Wan said thoughtfully. ?So what are you and Maul going to do while they?re shooting episode II??

?The Flannelled One paid for a vacation for us. We?ll be picking up scantily clad chicks on the beach while you?re fighting a bounty hunter in the pouring down rain. Well, Maul will be picking up chicks anyway.?

?A bounty hunter in the pouring down rain?? a befuddled Obi Wan asked.

?That?s right, I forgot you haven?t seen the script yet,? Qui Gonn said. ?Oh look! There they are.?

Further down the hallway Anakin Skywalker was walking next to Master Yoda who was hovering nearby on his floaty thing.

Mace Windu stepped out of a nearby doorway. ?Ah, Master Yoda,? he said. ?I?m glad I found you. I have an urgent matter to discuss.?

?Very well,? Yoda said. He hopped off of the floaty thing.

?After you,? Windu said, ushering the short Jedi inside. He paused in the doorway and looked over his shoulder. He held up on hand and mouthed the words ?five minutes?, indicating he could only guarantee them five Yoda-free minutes.

As soon as the door closed Anakin set to work on the floaty thing.

?Can you do it, my Padawan?? Obi Wan asked.

?I can break anything that?s mechanical,? Anakin replied. A few minutes later the floaty thing was re-assembled. ?Done,? he said simply.

A moment later masters Windu and Yoda stepped back outside. Windu glanced down the hallway. Right on cue Darth Maul appeared around the corner. ?Isn?t that Darth Maul?? he asked innocently.

Maul glared at the group as he approached and stopped when he reached them. He didn?t speak, he merely folded his arms in front of his chest and continued to glare.

Obi Wan broke the silence. ?Hey Maul, how?re you doing??

?Nice beard,? Maul said, putting all the power of the darkside into the sarcasm in his voice. He uncrossed his arms long enough to slap Obi Wan upside the head.

?Owww!!? Obi Wan said. ?That wasn?t part of the plan!?

Yoda hopped up onto the floaty thing so he wouldn?t be stepped on if a fight broke out. ?What plan?? he wondered.

?Plans change,? Maul shrugged.

?Why I oughta-? Obi Wan began.

Maul force shoved him, knocking him to the ground. ?Another change of plans,? he said. While Obi Wan was groaning and writhing theatrically on the floor Maul reached out and Yoda?s lightsaber flew to his hand.

Yoda?s eyes widened in surprise.

?If you want a Yoda lightsaber I?m sure the props department can get you one,? Qui Gonn said, trying to hide a smile. Except for the slapping and shoving the somewhat unreliable Maul was following the plan very well.

?Why don?t you try to take it away from me so I can put another hole in you,? Maul said.

All traces of a smile left Qui Gonn?s face. That certainly wasn?t a nice thing to say. Besides, the only reason Maul had ?killed? him was because that was how the script went. That and Obi Wan hadn?t run fast like he should?ve?

?Listen, mothuh f-? Mace began.

?Easy Mace,? Qui Gonn cut him off. ?This isn?t Shaft. Plus the author might get banned if he used that word.?

?My lightsaber! To me you give it!? Yoda said.

?No,? Maul replied.

?Mine! Mine! Mine!? Yoda screamed, beginning to wildly swing his walking stick, pummeling the Sith Lord and knocking Obi Wan, who had only just sufficiently recovered enough to sit up, back to the ground.

Maul cursed and ducked away from the walking s

 

Another good one, I think this one was better than the first.

?Listen, mothuh f-? Mace began. That was my favorite part by far. I honestly lost it (if I had it to begin with that is)

?Easy Mace,? Qui Gonn cut him off. ?This isn?t Shaft. Plus the author might get banned if he used that word.?

No... Really...

?Get them back, I must,? Yoda muttered as the trash buried him.

Master Yoda! Tisk. Tisk.

Can anyone say Operation Dark Side III?

 

Another good one, I think this one was better than the first.

I agree. I think this is better than the other too.

That was my favorite part by far. I honestly lost it (if I had it to begin with that is)

I had help coming up with that. Years ago in my first run through college I found this website called Melrose Naboo and in that set of stories Mace Windu was a drug dealer. That was a funny site. I'll have to look for it again sometime.

Master Yoda! Tisk. Tisk.

Can anyone say Operation Dark Side III?

Right now I don't have a plot bunny for that but it'll probably happen someday.

lordmaul13

 

Yoda hopped up onto the floaty thing so he wouldn?t be stepped on if a fight broke out.

 

I liked that line too, Spike. But my personal favorite part was Maul slapping Obi Wan around.

lordmaul13

 

Yeah, "groaning and writhing theatrically"

Heh heh

 

Tee-Hee! Now that was funny! I've always imagined Mace talking like Shaft.

Bu I love what happens to Yoda on his 'floaty thing'. I might have to borrow yhat term.

BTW, It's just the two and they're 5 years apart. I couldn't have two in one year. I'd go insane!

 

Tee-Hee! Now that was funny! I've always imagined Mace talking like Shaft.

I can't imagine why. And like I said, I had help coming up with that. The Melrose Naboo thing had him talking like that but it was before the Shaft movie was made.

I might have to borrow yhat term.

As far as I'm concerned that's fine. There was an idea posted a long time back in the plot bunny thread that called it, I think, the floaty thing.

I couldn't have two in one year. I'd go insane!

They drive me nuts and they're hardly ever over here and they're not even my kids.

lordmaul13

 

Oh, just give this an up.

lordmaul13