Saga The Shifty Troublemaker- (TPM script humour, Note August 2)

Here's what you do: you take the script of TPM and you go through with your friend, making every possible joke there is to make about action or dialogue. It may be odd, it may be obscure, and it's bound to be random, but it could- just could be funny. Possibly? What do you think? Give it a go.

Every part of this story is by both myself and Terr_Mys. Be kind, rewind, take that video back to Blockbuster, come back here, read, review. Maybe later, we can watch some WWF. Or maybe just Howard Dean's rallies (YAAAAARRRRHH!!!).

Oh, by the way, this story is probably rated something in between PG and PG 13. We could call it PG 6.5, but it sounds too much like a Microsoft product. Instead I think we'll call it PGR: Parental Guidance Restricted. Ok, sally forth now.




------

TITLE CARD : A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....

A vast sea of stars serves as the backdrop for the main title, followed by a
roll up, which crawls up into infinity.

STAR WARS
EPISODE I- THE SHIFTY TROUBLEMAKER

Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic, but after excessive indigestion, spat the Galactic Republic back out again and decided to just stare at it threateningly. The taxation of trade routes to outlaying star systems is in dialysis. Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships and antacids, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Naboo.
While the congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict.....

PAN DOWN to reveal a small space cruiser heading TOWARD CAMERA at great speed. PAN with the cruiser as it heads toward the beautiful green planet of Naboo, which is surrounded by hundreds of Trade Federation battleships.


INT. REPUBLIC CRUISER - COCKPIT

In the cockpit of the cruise, the CAPTAIN and PILOT maneuver closer to one of the battleships.


QUI-GON : (off screen voice) Captain.

The Captain turns to an unseen figure sitting behind her.

CAPTAIN
Yes, sir?

QUI-GON(V.O)
Is that all you can say?

CAPTAIN
Yes, sir.

QUI-GON
Tell them we wish to board at once.

CAPTAIN
Yes, sir.


The CAPTAIN looks to her view screen, where NUTE GUNRAY, a Neimoidian trade viceroy, waits for a reply.

CAPTAIN (cont'd)
With all due respect for the Trade Federation, the
Ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately. The younger one has to go pee.

NUTE
Yes, yes, of course...ahhh...as you know, our blockade is perfectly legal, and we'd be happy to receive the Ambassador?s liquid waste...Happy to.


The screen goes black?no, wait, sorry, the screen goes African-American. Out the cockpit window, the sinister battleship looms ever closer.

EXT. FEDERATION BATTLESHIP - DOCKING BAY - SPACE (FX)

The small space cruiser docks in the enormous, impressive CGI, non-miniature main bay of the Federation battleship.

INT. FEDERATION BATTLESHIP - CONFERENCE ROOM

A door slides open, and the two cloaked shapes are led PAST CAMERA into the formal conference room by TC-14.

TC-14
I hope you honored sirs with the most comfortable here. My master will be with you shortly.

The droid bows before OBI-WAN KENOBI and QUI- GON JINN. He backs out the door and it closes. The JEDI lower their hoods and look out a large window at the lush green planet of Naboo. QUI-GON sixty years old, has long white hair in a ponytail he hasn?t cut since Woodstock. He is tall and striking, with blue eyes. OBI-WAN is twenty five, single, and enjoys long walks on the beach.

OBI-WAN
I have a bad feeling about this.

RANDOM FANBOY
Haha, yes!

QUI-GON and OBI-WAN turn to face RANDOM FANBOY for a moment, then go back to their conversation.

QUI-GON
I don't sense anything.

OBI-WAN
It's not about the mission, Master, it's something...elsewhere...elusive... that, and I still really have to go pee.

QUI-GON
Don't center on your anxiety, Obi-Wan.

 

QUI-GON sixty years old, has long white hair in a ponytail he hasn?t cut since Woodstock. He is tall and striking, with blue eyes. OBI-WAN is twenty five, single, and enjoys long walks on the beach.

x 1000

This is hilarious, sj. No other word for it.

 

You ain't seen nothing yet I think as Terr and I went on, we got less and less coherent in our thoughts.

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

You mean there was coherence to begin with?

That Qui-Gon bit was sj's. The Obi-Wan part was mine. We're a great team.

 

*drops into the new thread*


P-F

 

I guess I'll go ahead and post the second section here for all to read. Enjoy!

- - -

INT. FEDERATION BATTLESHIP - BRIDGE

TEY HOW recieves a transmission.

TEY HOW : Sir, a transmission from the planet.
NUTE: It must be the IRS! Tell them I refuse to pay their blood money!
RUNE : It's... Queen Amidala.



On the view screen, QUEEN AMIDALA appears in her throne room. Wearing the entire city of Milan in headdresses and robes, she sits, surrounded by the GOVERNING COUNCIL and FOUR HANDMAIDENS, É1, É2, É3, and TIM.

NUTE : (cont'd) Again you come before me, Your highness. The Federation is pleased.
AMIDALA : You will not be pleased when you hear what I have to say, Viceroy...Your trade boycott of our planet has ended.
NUTE: What the-? When did you hit puberty?! You sound like my uncle!
AMIDALA : I have word that the Senate is finally voting on this blockade of yours.
NUTE : I take it you know the outcome. I wonder why they bother to vote.
AMIDALA: Enough of this pretense, Viceroy! I'm aware the Chancellor's Ambassadors are with you now, and that one of them is a charming, handsome young man. I demand a phone number.
NUTE : I know nothing about telephones...you must be mistaken.

AMIDALA, surprised at his reaction, studies him carefully.

AMIDALA: (normal voice) ... You?ve got an eyelash on your cheek. No, no the other side-there... Now, what were we talking about? Oh, yes. (deep voice) Beware, Viceroy....the Federation is going too far this time...Denying a horny 14-year-old girl her right to a hottie's number. Tsk tsk.
NUTE : Your Highness, we would never do anything without the approval of the film ratings board. This is a PG movie afterall.
AMIDALA : We will see.

The QUEEN fades off, and the view screen goes African-American.

RUNE : She's right, that young Jedi is sooOOoO hott!

RUNE lets out a girlish squeal. NUTE coughs.

RUNE: I mean... something about the Senate?
NUTE : It's too late now.
RUNE : Dammit, why do I always mess up my lines?!
NUTE: I don?t know, but it may have something to do with your homosexual tendencies.

An awkward silence fills the room.

INT. NABOO PALACE - THRONE ROOM

The QUEEN, two of the És, and her Governor, SIBBLE BIO... I mean, SIB LISSLE... er, BIS LIBBLE... who the heck names these characters.

GEORGE LUCAS (O.S.): I do.

Honestly George, do you have to insert yourself in every scene of this movie? ... Anyway, all these ridiculously named characters stand before a hologram of SENATOR PALPATINE, a thin, kindly... Phantom Menace!

PALPATINE : ...How could that be true? I have assurances from the Lucas...my characters are the same. It must be the...n00b...fanboys...

The hologram of PALPATIONE sputters and fades away.

AMIDALA : Senator Palpatine?!? (turns to Panaka) What's happening?

CAPTAIN PANAKA turns to his SARGEANT

CAPT. PANAKA : Hey heey-heeeey!

CAPT. PANAKA breaks into the Rerun Dance.

BIBBLE : ...a malfunction?
CAPT. PANAKA : It could be these tight leather pants, your highness. They?re jamming my-
BIBBLE : (quickly interrupting) A communications disruption can only mean one thing. Invasion.
AMIDALA : Don't jump to conclusions, Governor. The Federation would not dare go that far unless seriously inebriated. Like at that one New Year?s party...
CAPT. PANAKA : The Senate would revoke their trade driver?s licenses, and they'd be finished.
AMIDALA : We must continue to rely on negotiation.
BIBBLE : Negotiation? We've lost all communications! Humiliation, nation, legislation! Little Miss Muffet sat on her Tuffet- wait, is that profane?
CAPT. PANAKA : This is a dangerous situation, Your Highness. Our security volunteers will be no match against a battle-hardened Federation army, if our preseason is any indication anyway.
AMIDALA : I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war. Slow, painful death by lethal gas, yes, but not war.

EXT. SPACE LANDING CRAFT - TWILIGHT (FX)

Six landing craft fly in formation toward the surface of the plan

 

OMBOB hillarious!

...someone had to say it....right?

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

Apparently. *sniff*

*ponders moving back to TPM board*

 

That's it. Your apathy can't dampen our spirits! Super soakers, perhaps, but not apathy.

EXT. NABOO LAKE - UNDERWATER

QUI-GON and OBI-WAN swim behind JAR JAR, who is very much at home in the CGI pixel-environment. Down they swim into murky depths. In the distance the glow of Otoh Gunga, an underwater city made up of large silicone implants, becomes more distinct. They approach the strange, Hugh Hefner inspired habitat. JAR JAR swims magically through one of the "Pamela Andersons", which seals behind him. OBI-WAN and QUI-GON follow.


INT. OTOH GUNGA - CITY SQUARE

GUNGANS in the square scatter when they see the strange smelling JEDI. Four "BUNNY" GUARDS armed with long......."electro-poles" ride two-legged..."KAADUS" into the square. The BUNNY GUARDS, led by CAPTAIN TARPALS, point their lethal..."poles" at the..."dripping" "trio"...my word George, this is a kid?s movie!

JAR JAR : Heyo-dalee, Cap'n Tarpals, Mesa back!
CAPT. TARPALS : Noah gain, Jar Jar. Yousa goen tada Bosses. Yousa in big dudu this time.

(At this point, the computer's spell-checker exploded. Please excuse any spelling errors from here on out. Thank you for your cooperation.)

CAPT. TARPALS gives JAR JAR a slight zap with his "power pole". JAR JAR jumps and moves off, followed by the two JEDI.

JAR JAR : How wude....and yet ewotic.
OBI-WAN: Oh now that?s just sick.

INT. OTOH GUNGA - HIGH TOWER BOARD ROOM

The Bosses' Board Room has bubble walls, with small lighted fish swimming around outside like moving stars. To prove this metaphor, one in the distance collapses, forms a black hole, and sucks in neighboring fish. Look really closely, fanboys. It's in frame 3,271,138. A long circular judge's bench filled with GUNGAN OFFICIALS dominates the room. OBI-WAN and QUI-GON stand facing BOSS NASS, who sits on a bench higher than the others.

BOSS NASS : Yousa cannot bees hair. Dis army of mackineeks up dare tis new weesong!
QUI-GON : (reading from GunGan-Basic dictionary)Thosa makenees is abouts to attack duh Naboo. We must warna dem.
BOSS NASS : Wesa no like da Naboo! Un dey no like uss-ens. Da Naboo tink day so smarty den us-ens. Day tink day brains so big.

OBI-WAN flips through his dictionary.

OBI-WAN: Yousa? There's no way I'm saying that.... Look, the short and long of it is, there's an army up there and you're screwed.
BOSS NASS : No, mesa no tink so. Mesa scant talkie witda Naboo, and no nutten talkie it outlaunders. Dos mackineeks no comen here! Dey not know of uss-en.
EWAN (O.O.C.): What in the-? Look, George...I can't work like this.
George Lucas (O.S.): We?ll fix it in post!
OBI-WAN : Right...You and the Naboo form a symbiotic circle... Like a clown fish and a sea anemone... guess who's the clown fish?
BOSS NASS : Wesa wish no nutten in yousa tings, outlaunder, and wesa no care-n about da Naboo.
QUI-GON : (waves his hand) Then speed us on our way.
BOSS NASS : I'm Toydarian! Mind tricks don-err...Wesa gonna speed yousaway.
QUI-GON : We need a transport.
BOSS NASS : Wesa give yousa una bongo. Da speedest way tooda Naboo tis goen through da core. Now go.
QUI-GON : Thank you for your help. We go in peace. (under breath) Let?s pray he?s not in the next two.

LIAM throws a pointed glance at GEORGE (O.S.)

QUI-GON and OBI-WAN turn to leave.

OBI-WAN : Master, whats a bongo?
QUI-GON: Don't be a square, brother! Have you never felt the beat of the magic drum?! Poetry, man! Beatniks! Hippies, peace and love! Woodstock, '69! Yeaaahhh!!
OBI-WAN: ...
QUI-GON: (clearing throat) Oh, sorry. What's a bong? A transport, I hope.

The JEDI notice JAR JAR in chains to one side, waiting to ?hear his verdict?. QUI-GON stops. JAR JAR gives him a forlorn look.

JAR JAR : Daza setten yous up. Goen through da planet core is bad bombin!!
QUI-GON : ...Thank you, my friend... I think? What did he say, anyway?
JAR JAR : Ahhh...any hep hair would be hot.

OBI-WAN: Did he just call me hot?

JAR JAR's soulful look is counterpointed by a sheepish grin.

RANDOM FANGIRL:

 

I demand you update immeadiately!




*gets pouty* Please?

 

Hee hee hee hee. I love this! Post more!

 

Your wish is our mutual command!

- - -

INT. THEED - PALACE THRONE ROOM - DAY

QUEEN AMIDALA, SIO BIBBLE, and FIVE OF HER HANDMAIDENS (SLEEPY, DOPEY, SNEEZY, HAPPY, DOC) are surrounded by TWENTY DROIDS. CAPTAIN PANAKA and FOUR NABOO GUARDS are also held at gunpoint. NUTE and RUNE stand in the middle of the room. (ENOUGH WITH ALL CAPS, GEORGE, YOU DON'T NEED TO YELL!)

BIBBLE: ...how will you explain those continuity errors to the fans?
GEORGE LUCAS: They won't notice. Now get back to the scene!
BIBBLE : Oh, yes. How will you explain this invasion to the Senate?
NUTE : The Naboo and the Federation will forge a treaty that will legitimize our occupation here. I've been assured by the PHANTOM MENACE it will be ratified by the Senate.
AMIDALA : I will not co-operate.
NUTE : Now, now, your Highness. You are not going to like what we have in store for your people...Teletubbies!

There is a general gasp of horror from the assembled.

NUTE: In time, their suffering will persuade you to see our point of view. Commander. (OOM-9 steps forward) Process them.
OOM-9 : Yes, sir! (turns to his sergeant) Take them to Tinky-Winky.

The SERGEANT marches the GROUP out of the throne room.

EXT. PALACE - PLAZA - DAY

SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES, accompanied by various ACTION FIGURE POSIBILITIES are led out of the palace by ten BATTLE DROIDS. The plaza is filled with tanks and BATTLE DROIDS, which they pass on their way to the detention camp. Unbeknownst to them, QUI-GON, OBI-WAN, and JAR JAR sneak across on a walkway above the plaza (at this point, you may be wondering how JAR JAR sneaks anywhere. But if you'd just watch the movie, you'd see that he obviously has his mouth duck-taped. No, not duct tape, duck tape. You know, from the Duck Planet. More on this later. Meanwhile, I think something's going on... ah yes, here it is...) and jump from a balcony to begin an attack to rescue the QUEEN.

FOUR BATTLE DROIDS (collect them all!) are instantly cut down. MORE DROIDS fall to the ground as they catch a glimpse of that hunky stud-muffin, Ew-err...Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon swings his green laser-bong...err...sword...until there is only the DROID SARGEANT left. The SERGEANT starts to run but is pulled back to QUI-GON by the Force, then let out, then pulled back, in an old Jedi Force Yo-Yo trick, until finally he is dispatched by the JEDI.

JAR JAR : Hmmuumm!
OBI-WAN: (grins) Much better.

GEORGE makes a brief on-screen appearance to remove the duck tape from JAR JAR?s mouth.

EWAN (O.O.C.): You?re no fun.

JAR JAR: Yousa guys bombad!

GEORGE LUCAS (O.S.): WAIT! I've got it! We can make a video game out of that! Yes! A RACING video game! $core! Cha-ching!

RICK McCALLUM (O.S.): It?ll be ******* awesome!

QUEEN AMIDALA and the OTHERS are amazed. JAR JAR is mourning the loss of the skin around his lips. They move between two buildings.

QUI-GON : Your Highness, we are the Ambassadors, for the Supreme Chancellor.
BIBBLE : Your negotiations seem to have failed, Ambassador.
QUI-GON : Gee, thanks RIC! The negotiations never took place. Your Highness, we must make contact with the republic.

CAPTAIN PANAKA steps forward.

CAPT. PANAKA : They've knocked out all our communications, and in the first round! I had a lot of money on that fight!
QUI-GON : Do you have transports?
CAPT. PANAKA : Of course. Because they wouldn't want to destory those too or anything. That would make it impossible for us to escape. They're in the main hanger. This way.

THEY disappear down an alleyway as the COWBELLS are sounded.

Christopher Walken: Mo-ah cowbell!!!

INT. CENTRAL HANGER - HALLWAY - DAY

CAPTAIN PANAKA cracks open a side door to the central hanger. QUI-GON looks in over his shoulder. OBI-WAN, JAR JAR, and the rest of the ACTION FIGURE POSSIBILITES are behind him. They see several STAR WARS LEGO(TM) SET Naboo spacecraft guarded by about FIFTY BATTLE DROIDS. Blue Oyster Cult can be heard in the distance.

CAPT. PANAKA : There are too many of them.
OBI-WAN: Accele

 

...the Ambassador's for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately. The younger one has to go pee.

 

Oh man, I haven't read this in so long.

BIBBLE : Please, Your Highness, reconsider. Our only hope-
RICK McCALLUM (O.S.): Luuuke!
BIBBLE: ...Our only hope-
RICK McCALLUM (O.S.): Luke-*******-Skywalker!
BIBBLE: Our only hope IN THIS FILM is for the Senate to side with us... Senator Palpatine will need your help.
FiveIron87: CAPT. PANAKA : Getting past their blockade is impossible, Your Highness-
RICK McCALLUM (O.S.): Always with you it cannot be done!

I liked that bit. I can't wait to see what we have, in the past, thought up next Since I can't remember. But it'll suck once we get to the part where we haven't written anything new yet. Terr, it's your job to remind me to get you to write TST. It's clearly not my fault. [/Han]


-sj loves kevin spacey

 

yay! new update! However, I demand you update again! Now!

 

OBI-WAN: Master, this Crambette person is starting to worry me.

QUI-GON: Of course she is! She's a Baggins not some- ... ok, I think the Star Wars fanbase needs a severe talking to. And please stop switching our scripts.

OBI-WAN: But wait, I want to be a hobbit. Hobbits get to drink.

QUI-GON: Only if I get to scour your shire.

OBI-WAN blushes and twirls a finger through his braid.

GEORGE (O.S.): WOAH! Ok there guys, what are you doing? Get off this soundstage right now! You're not permitted in here! You'll be deactivated for sure! See, people still quote my movies!!! If this Crambette person wants an update, maybe she should actually try replying with some specific comments. Cold, hard cash never hurt either.

He flicks off the soundstage lights.


....

How's THAT for an update, punk!

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

Haha! This is good stuff, you two!!

More!!

 

OBI-WAN blushes and twirls a finger through his braid.
Now I won't be able to see OW in TOM the same way ever again

P-F

 

This is awesome, you guys!

GEORGE LUCAS (O.S.): WAIT! I've got it! We can make a video game out of that! Yes! A RACING video game! $core! Cha-ching!

RICK McCALLUM (O.S.): It?ll be ******* awesome!

Hilarious.

QUI-GON : The situation here is not what it seems. There is something else behind all this, Your Highness. There is no logic in the Federation's move here.

EVERYONE looks over to see GEORGE LUCAS behind a camera.

I love it. Keep up the good work!

 

*hands sj a pile of make believe money and Monarch of the Glen tapes*

Will that give me an update?

 

Ooooh.... I'll get my cattleprod and find Terr I think I can update tomorrow

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

this is great!! please update, i wanna see how you have little annie act

 

Heh...heh.... you'll see

BTW darthlauren, I love that icon

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

Whoops, sorry I didn't update this sooner. Hope you haven't all run away yet. Because, you know...they'll BLOW. YOU. UP! *boom*

-----

EXT. SPACE - NABOO SPACECRAFT (FX)

The Naboo spacecraft races away.

INT. FEDERATION BATTLESHIP - CONFERENCE ROOM

NUTE and RUNE sit around a conference table with a hologram of THE PHANTOM MENACE.

NUTE : We control all the Wal-Marts and are searching for any other merchandising outlets...
DARTH SIDIOUS : Destroy all high-ranking officials Viceroy...slowly...with deadly gas. And Queen Amidala, has she signed the treaty?
NUTE: She has disappeared, My Lord. (Hesitant) Um...you see, my Lord...my dog ate her.
DARTH SIDIOUS : Like I haven?t heard that one before! Viceroy, find her, before I give you a sithspension! I want that treaty signed.
NUTE : My Lord, it's impossible to locate the ship. It's out of our range.
DARTH SIDIOUS : ...not for a Sith...or someone with a plot necessity on their side.

A COOL LOOKING GUY appears behind DARTH SIDIOUS. (Buy the legos, action figure, poster, backpack, and toothbrush at Wal-Mart today!)

DARTH SIDIOUS: (Cont'd) ...Viceroy, this is my male compan-err, my...apprentice. Darth Maul. He will find your lost ship.
NUTE : Yes, My Lord.

The hologram fades off.

NUTE : (Cont'd) This is getting out of hand...now there are two of them.
RUNE: (welling up with tears) No one told me he was taken! We should not have made this bargain. What will happen when the Jedi become aware of these Sith Lords? What will I do without a date to the Trade Federation Homecoming Dance?!

INT. NABOO SPACECRAFT - QUEENS CHAMBERS

QUI-GON, OBI-WAN, CAPTAIN PANAKA, and the LITTLE BLUE DROID stand before QUEEN AMIDALA and her THREE HANDMAIDENS, PADME, EIRTAE and RABE (who are ready to party).

CAPT. PANAKA : ...An extremely well put together little droid. Without a doubt, it will be in all the movies. It?ll probably do this again, you know.
AMIDALA : It is to be commended...what is its number?

The LITTLE BLUE DROID lets out a series of bleeps. CAPTAIN PANAKA leans over and scrapes some dirt off of the side of the DROID and reads the number:
RANDOM FANBOY: Well, DUH! Are you stupid?!
CAPT. PANAKA: 327-1138, Your Highness
RANDOM FANBOY: Oh...
CAPT. PANAKA: Gotcha! It?s R2-D2, Your Highness.
AMIDALA : Thank you, Artoo Detoo. You have proven to be very loyal. And so very handsome...Padme!

PADME bows before the QUEEN.

AMIDALA: (Cont'd) Clean this droid up the best you can, you COMPLETELY INFERIOR HANDMAIDEN WITH NO ROYAL STATUS OR PHYSICAL RESEMBLANCE TO ME WHATSOEVER. (to Panaka) Continue, Captain.

CAPTAIN PANAKA looks nervously to OBI-WAN and QUI-GON.

QUI-GON : Your Highness, we are heading for a remote planet called Tatooine, which I?m sure no one has ever heard of. It is a system far beyond the reach of the Trade Federation. There we will be able to make needed repairs, maybe hobnob with some of the locals, perhaps do some betting, pick up some strays, then travel on to Coruscant.
CAPTAIN PANAKA: Your Highness, Tatooine is very dangerous. It is controlled by an alliance of gangs called the Libertarian Party. I do not agree with the Jedi on this.
QUI-GON: You must trust my judgement, Your Highness...and dude, Libertarians. Free Weed!!1!!1!

AMIDALA and PADME exchange looks. PADME moves next to the DROID. AMIDALA gives her an envious glare.

INT. NABOO SPACECRAFT - MAIN AREA

PADME sits in the Main Area, "cleaning" R2-D2....with her saliva. JAR JAR pops out of an open door.

JAR JAR : Hidoe!

Both PADME and ARTOO jump and let out a little SCREAM. The Gungan is embarrassed that he frightened them.

PADME: I-I...it's not what it looks like!
JAR JAR : (Cont'd) Sorry, nomeanen to scare yousa.
PADME : That's all right.
JAR JAR : I scovered oily back dare. Needen it?
PADME (raising eyebrow): Hmm...oil...yes. Thank you. This little guy is quite a mess.

JAR JAR hands PADME the oil can.

JAR JAR : Mesa Ja Ja Binksss...
PADME : I'm Padme, I attend Her Highness, You'

 

PADME: Uh, wait, I thought we lived in a galaxy far far away?

There?s a pause.

GEORGE LUCAS (O.S.): SSSHHHHH. Script!
PADME: (rolls eyes) You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?
ANAKIN: I listen to all the traders and star pilots that come through here. I'm a pilot you know, and someday I'm gonna fly away from this place....some day, I'll fly away. Leave all this to yesterday. Why live li-
GEORGE LUCAS (O.S.): NO! Ewan, I?m going to kill you for this, I swear...
Lol! You know, I can actually picture Ewan snickering in the back.

P-F