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Saga "No Use Wondering" (Qui/Shmi angst, romance) Updated 14 April!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Dantana Skywalker, Mar 12, 2004.

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  1. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2002
    Title: No Use Wondering
    Author: DantanaSkywalker
    Timeframe: TPM
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Shmi Skywalker
    Keywords: angst, romance
    Summary: Former lovers meet again in the hardest of circumstances.
    Notes: This is/was my first story here on the boards. I decided that I might have a better chance at finishing it if I didn't keep forgetting it at the back of the Classic forum, so I've moved it.





    The moment Qui-Gon Jinn followed Anakin Skywalker into his home on Tatooine, he knew his life would never be the same. Something just seemed . . . familiar somehow.

    "Mom! I'm home!" Anakin shouted to his mother.

    Padme entered ahead of Qui-Gon, so he had a moment, only a moment, to get himself together when Shmi Skywalker walked into view.

    [i]"I'll come back, Shmi. I swear it, and I'll get you out of here." An expression of urgency, and determination.

    "What if- What if I am- I am afraid, Qui-Gon. So very afraid." Fear written on her face, in her clear eyes.

    "Don't worry, my love. It's just a short trip back to Coruscant, to choose a Padawan. In fact, I already have one in mind. His name is Xanatos. I'll go and pick him up, and be right back here to get you." A flash of panic at her words, quickly squelched.

    "The slave raiders could come at any time. I'm afraid that without you here . . . I might be taken and sold into-"

    A kiss, to silence her. "Don't be afraid, Shmi. I'll return. And if- If something happens, I'll find you. I swear it."

    "Oh, Qui-Gon. I wish you wouldn't go."[/i]

    Qui-Gon snapped back to the present when Shmi turned quickly away, hiding her own shocked reaction.

    Shmi. He'd found her. After ten long years, of secretly hunting, he'd found her. And she had a SON!

    The Jedi Master suddenly felt faint.

    [hr]


    Dana
     
  2. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2002




    "Oh, my!" Shmi exclaimed, quickly turning to her son, trying--vainly, she thought--to cover her sudden shock at seeing her former lover. "Annie, who are these people?"

    "This is Padme Naberrie," Anakin said. He looked uncertainly at Qui-Gon and Jar Jar. "And, uh, I don't know your names."

    Qui-Gon seemed to force himself to move forward and held out his hand. "I am Qui-Gon Jinn, and this is Jar Jar Binks."

    Shmi reluctantly took his hand. She could still remember the last time his hand had touched hers, ten years before.

    "Come on, Padme, I'll show you my droid!" Anakin started tugging on Padme's arm, leading her from the room.

    "Annie. Why are they here?"

    Anakin pivoted on one foot to face his mother. She looked at him sternly. "There's a sandstorm."

    "Your son was kind enough to offer us shelter," Qui-Gon said quickly.

    Shmi's gaze snapped back to Qui-Gon's face. The same blue eyes as Anakin's looked at her almost pleadingly from under sandy brown brows, above a neatly clipped beard. She sighed. Why had he come now, to see her like this?

    Anakin and Padme went off to see the boy's droid. The astromech unit that had followed the visitors went with. Jar Jar wandered around, oblivious to the two remaining humans.

    Shmi hurried into the kitchen, trying to escape the Jedi Master. Her heart beat fast and furious within her chest, and she felt like her face was flaming.

    She was keenly aware that Qui-Gon had followed.

    "Shmi."

    "I can't talk to you now," she breathed, whirling to face him.

    Qui-Gon took a step back, a little stunned. "Why not?"

    "Wait until Anakin's gone to bed. Please. Then we can talk."

    "Shmi, it's been ten years-"

    "Ten years, I know. Ten years of slavery," she said.

    "When?" he asked, his heart breaking.

    "Two days after you left. They broke down the door and dragged me away. I . . . I lied and told Anakin that I've always been a slave, that I grew up a slave. I couldn't- I couldn't tell him the truth."

    Qui-Gon reached out, and touched her arm. But before he could say anything, Anakin and Padme came back.

    [hr]


    Dana
     
  3. karebear214

    karebear214 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2002
    Okay, you've got my attention. More soon?
     
  4. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2002
    Thanks. :)




    Sitting at the table in the Skywalker home, Qui-Gon found it almost difficult to eat, but he thought he managed nicely.

    While he participated in the conversation, his mind was elsewhere. On Shmi. And then, when Anakin made a remark about Jedi not being able to be killed, Tahl.

    Tahl had been his love after Shmi. He hadn't really meant to fall in love with Tahl, but he had given up hope that he would ever find Shmi. Now, just three years after losing Tahl, he had found Shmi again. Was this meant to be? Or were the fates just playing with his heart and his mind?

    Shmi had changed in the last ten years. Her long dark hair was showing silver highlights, and the lines around her eyes were something she hadn't had when he'd seen her last, standing at the platform by his ship as he departed to get Xanatos.

    He'd come back just two weeks later, to find her home destroyed, and his heart missing from his chest. Perhaps that was what had led to Xanatos' fall to the dark side, the Jedi Master's inability to confide in his Padawan. The brooding, grieved silences that seemed to follow Qui-Gon wherever he went.

    He had never told anyone about Shmi. When Xanatos had asked, he'd simply said that a friend had been kidnapped.

    He searched. Oh, how he searched. But days turned into weeks, and then months. Years passed. He lost Xanatos, and gained Obi-Wan. And he lost Tahl. Now he had found Shmi, and it felt as if his life had come full circle.

    Except Shmi was a slave, and he didn't have the money to free her and her son. He couldn't even fix the ship they'd arrived on. If he couldn't afford those relatively minor repairs, how could he afford to buy the lives of two people?

    The food in his mouth suddenly felt dry, like he'd eaten a mouthful of Tatooine sand. Qui-Gon forced himself to swallow, and took his mind away from his melancholy thoughts.

    Shmi was gazing at him across the table. "He can help you," she said quietly. "He was meant to help you."

    Once more, Qui-Gon wondered if Anakin were his son.

    [hr]


    Dana
     
  5. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2002
    I really need to finish this . . . Can someone mind-trick me into watching TPM again?




    Qui-Gon and Shmi stood watching as Anakin worked on his podracer. The Jedi Master said, "You should be proud of your son. He gives without any thought of reward."

    Shmi didn't look at him. "He knows nothing of greed. He has . . . "

    Qui-Gon said softly, "He has special powers."

    Shmi nodded. "Yes."

    The tall man continued. "He can see things before they happen. That's why he appears to have such quick reflexes. It is a Jedi trait."

    She looked at him then, an expression approaching hope on her tired face. "He deserves better than a slave's life."

    He looked back, feeling that the conversation, which she'd refused the night before, after Anakin had gone to bed, was reaching the most important point. "The Force is unusally strong with him, that much is clear. Who was his father?"

    Qui-Gon almost kicked himself for blurting out that last part. He'd meant to inquire a little more tactfully.

    She responded quietly. "There was no father . . . I carried him, I gave him birth . . . I can't explain what happened."

    Then she asked if Qui-Gon could take her son, help him. He painfully informed her that he couldn't, that he was outside the reach of the Republic, and was now too old to train.

    She looked away, sighing softly.

    "Shmi. Is there really no father?" He touched her arm, lightly.

    The woman turned, looking at him with something like a cross between irritation and sorrow. "Why does it matter to you?"

    Qui-Gon glanced to see if the others were watching, then pulled Shmi inside the house. "It matters because that boy is almost ten years old, and I lost you ten years ago. Is he my son?" he demanded.

    She looked stricken. "I- I do not know, Qui-Gon."

    "When was he born?"

    "Ten months after you left me," she breathed.

    They were silent for several moments as Qui-Gon processed that. Ten months. There was still the possibility, if she'd become pregnant that last time, and carried the child longer than normal.

    "So he could be."

    "Yes, he could be," Shmi relented. "He could very well be your son."

    The breath left Qui-Gon's lungs in a rush. It was what he'd wanted to hear her say, to admit that Anakin Skywalker might in fact be his son, but just hearing the admission of possibility wasn't enough, now. He wanted certainty, but here, on Tatooine, there was no possible way to know.

    He engulfed Shmi in his arms, in a tender embrace. He felt that they'd been brought to Tatooine for a reason. But was the reason Shmi, or Anakin?

    [hr]


    Dana
     
  6. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl

    Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2001
    HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
     
  7. KrystalBlaze

    KrystalBlaze Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Oh wow. Very powerful.

    -Krystal
     
  8. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Quite interesting! The whole ten month things certainly puts a twist on the situation. Please finish this so we don't dangle here, that would be painful, LOL! Great work!
     
  9. AERYN_SUN

    AERYN_SUN Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2001
    I saw this up on board earlier. Interesting AU.

    ~aeryn
     
  10. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2002
    I should probably update this, huh?




    Shmi sat on her bed, quiet so she didn't wake the girl sleeping on a pile of blankets on the floor, thinking about Qui-Gon, and Anakin.

    There was a resemblance between the two, in their blue eyes. She had a feeling that Anakin's hair would darken as he got older, but to what colour?

    Her doubts plagued her. She wanted to tell Qui-Gon that Anakin was his son, wanted to give her son the knowledge that he in fact had a father. But there were too many unknowns.

    Please, she thought. Please, by the Force, even if he is not Annie's father, please let Qui-Gon take him away from here, and raise him to know the father he should have had.

    With a sigh, Shmi slipped under the covers and tried to sleep.

    ----------

    Qui-Gon was trying very hard to keep his hands from shaking as he cleaned young Anakin's wound. The boy was squirming.

    "Sit still, Annie. Let me clean this cut," he said to the boy.

    Anakin was looking up at the stars, blue eyes wide with wonder. "There are so many! Do they all have a system of planets?"

    Qui-Gon found himself smiling faintly. He could remember being just as curious about everything at the child's age. His heart ached to think that this slave boy could be his son. "Most of them."

    Anakin turned his gaze to the Jedi Master, oblivious to Qui-Gon's thoughts. "Has anyone been to them all?"

    The Jedi Master permitted himself a laugh. "Not likely."

    "I want to be the first one to see them all . . . Ouch!"

    Qui-Gon tried not to flinch, hearing the pain in the boy's voice. He wiped a bit of blood off Anakin's arm. "There, good as new."

    From inside, Shmi called, "Annie, bedtime!"

    Qui-Gon concentrated very hard on scraping some of Anakin's blood into an analyser. He would not look at Shmi. He would not.

    "What are you doing?" Anakin asked, leaning over to see more closely.

    "Checking your blood for infections." Qui-Gon was lying through his teeth. He wasn't going to say anything to the boy until he knew whether he could free him or not.

    "I've never seen-" Anakin began.

    "Annie! I'm not going to tell you again!" Shmi's voice came again, sounding more than a little annoyed.

    Qui-Gon nodded to Anakin. "Go on, you have a big day tomorrow."

    He paused, then, "Goodnight."

    Anakin rolled his eyes and scampered inside. Qui-Gon looked after him for a moment, then contacted his apprentice. "Obi-Wan."

    As always, Obi-Wan answered instantly. "Yes, Master?"

    "Make an analysis of this blood sample I'm sending you."

    "Wait a minute," Obi-Wan said, in a distracted tone.

    Qui-Gon continued, "I need a midi-chlorian count."

    "All right. I've got it."

    His heart pounding in his chest, he asked, "What are your readings?"

    Obi-wan sounded a little bewildered. "Something must be wrong with the transmission."

    The Jedi Master frowned, and checked the signal. He impatiently waited for Obi-Wan to respond.

    "Strange. The transmission seems to be in good order, but the reading's off the chart . . . over twenty thousand."

    For a stunned moment, Qui-Gon just sat there. he murmured to himself, "That's it then."

    His apprentice was oblivious. "Even Master Yoda doesn't have a midi-chlorian count that high!"

    "No Jedi has." Qui-Gon's mind was spinning, searching through all the information stored there for some thread that could lead him to a conclusion.

    "What does it mean?" Obi-Wan asked, interrupting his reverie.

    "I'm not sure," Qui-Gon admitted.

    He glanced up to see Shmi watching him, silhouetted in the doorway. For a moment, she just looked at him, then quickly turned and ducked back inside.

    He didn't want to admit it, but there seemed to be more than coincidence in all of this. He was seeing the signs of the prophecy. Reluctantly, he pondered them.

    If it really was the prophecy, fulfilling itself . . .

    Qui-Gon didn't want to think about what it could mean.

    [hr]


    Dana
     
  11. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Ohhhh wouldn't that be an ironic twist? If Anakin is his kid and being of the prophecy at the same time!!

    Good job! Great work! :D
     
  12. Lady-Kenobi

    Lady-Kenobi Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2003
    *Waves hand at Dantana*
    You will watch The Phantom Menance.

    I LOVE THIS!
    Please post more!
     
  13. Sabacc

    Sabacc Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    Very interesting story. I'm picturing that famous pre-production drawing of Qui-Gon with short hair and beard (and sleeveless tunic) as a quick moment from his early romance with Shmi. Well done- let's see this as a Dark Horse Infinities title.
     
  14. Lady-Kenobi

    Lady-Kenobi Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2003
    Hope we'll get more soon.
    This story is GREAT!
     
  15. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2002
    I'm working on an update, I'm just having a little bit of difficulty.

    Dana
     
  16. Kazzy

    Kazzy Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 17, 2002
    Hey, I like this! :) I'm really interested in where you're going to take this and what you're going to do with the characters. Such an interesting twist you've placed on the story! :)
     
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