main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends A Flourishing Flame--An Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon Short Story-Complete-Replies 6.17

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LuvEwan, Jun 16, 2004.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    A Flourishing Flame
    A Vignette by LuvEwan

    Rating: PG

    Disclaimer: I own nothing.

    A milestone of young Obi-Wan Kenobi's life is celebrated among the unusual circumstances of a mission. Four years prior to TPM.

    **Okay, okay. I admit, this was inspired mostly by, well, me. The idea was sparked on the (boring) eve of my eighteenth birthday, so of course the subject was foremost in my mind, and it seemed as good a topic as any to tackle. What better way to overcome (I hope) writer's block on multiple stories, than to write a quickie?


    ((**))

    "That's a load of rotted, Garblian garbage." A gruff voice chortled. "You've had the verse go completely screwy at the best part!"

    "Sorry, my friend, but the verse is correct--and as for what is ruled as the 'best part'?that depends solely on opinion."

    In the gutted cavern, five ambassadors of the Republic were gathered. Outside the mottled rock walls, a breeze sifted through the leaves and whistled sharply. But nature's cool aria could not steal, nor soothe, the heated words between Chorb Liyu of Douglai VI and the Garblia resident Birel.

    Chorb was a thickly built humanoid, his only contrasting feature from normal men being the bruise-purple tint of his skin. He was large in stature as well, towering over all others in the musty shelter, with muscles that seemed to strain against vein and flesh. He was sitting on a boulder, stripped to the waist, for although the night held chill for the rest, his unique skin was glazed with sweat.

    The Douglai and the Garblians were quasi adversaries, joining in battle and politics when necessary, but forever separated by an age-old, but hardly severe, feud. And while the two appeared genuine in their frustrations with one another, more joy was garnered from the bickering than anything else.

    "To hell with opinions! There's no opinion about what's right and what's wrong. That kind of stuff is set in stone." Chorb's coal eyes flickered with wicked humor. "And I know what's right."

    Birel lifted an eyebrow. "I take it you credit yourself as the sculptor?"

    The hulking figure leaned forward with a menacing grin. "You bet your bony Garblian butt."

    And although it was less than delicately worded, Chorb's physical assessment of Birel was correct. Unlike his hulking counterpart, Birel was human. The Garblian strain of the race were naturally slender, with bones jutting out at the ankles, wrists, and pointed at the chin. Their faces were drained of color, save the yellow flush that lined prominent cheekbones, leading back into similarly hued, thin locks. Overall, Garblians were a nondescript group and largely underestimated by potential enemies. For within their narrow skulls were housed brilliant minds, intelligence granted to perhaps compensate for their gaunt appearance.

    That was one thing about them that bugged Chorb. With their barely concealed skeletons and deep-set eyes, they always looked so damn hungry.

    "Hey, hey." Aurel Frith had been keeping mostly to herself during the animated conversation, contented to watch with laughing chestnut eyes the absurd jabs made by her fellow ambassadors. But now she felt compelled to join in, and moved from her shadowed spot in a corner of the cave to sit beside them. "How in hells did you both fool the Republic into allowing you to represent them? You two are ridiculous!"

    Both Chorb and Birel turned to the woman, clad in a pale green linen top and loose ivory trousers. She was of average weight and height, with brunette hair that brushed across her shoulders. Not particularly breath-taking, but being the sole female in a group of males somehow increased her appeal.

    "Besides," Aurel added with a small smile, the gold ambience reflected from the fire to her face, "You're both wrong."

    Hilariously miffed reactions echoed in the small space.

    Chorb laughed with hearty disbelief. "How's that?"

    Aurel glanced at Qui-Gon Jinn, who looked back at her with a conspiratorial smirk. She fought the giggle bubbling in her throat and regarded
     
  2. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    That was lovely and, for some reason, incredibly sad. In all the birthday wishes, the specter of days yet to come seemed to linger. But it was still a wonderful read.

    Great job, LE but then I expect it of you!
     
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2002
    I always love your vignettes LE and this one was very sweet. :)

    By your comments I take it you have turned or are about to turn 18? Congratulations! You can't drink but you can vote. :D
     
  4. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    "Maybe for your thirtieth birthday." / "Hm. Maybe on your sixtieth birthday."

    I got all choked up by these lines. To think that they never reached those moments. [face_plain] :( :_|

    Very bittersweet!
     
  5. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    That was sweet. So your 18th is tomorrow? Happy b-day!!! I have another few days until mine rolls around.
     
  6. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 3, 2004
    Happy Birthday LE! A great post--Obi-Wan's 21st birthday! It is sad to think though that they will not celebrate Qui's 60th and Obi's 30th together! Wonderful job! =D=
     
  7. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    Happy Birthday! [face_clown] :D

    "Would you tell me if you've had any other alcohol?"

    "Hm. Maybe on your sixtieth birthday."


    [face_laugh] That was cute, even if it was bittersweet knowing all those tomorrows are limited. A wonderfully written little story.
     
  8. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    That was soooooo heartwarming!! Loved the mixed humor and the others were great!

    Loved this! The paths will be tangled with discord, with uncertainty--and pain. But you have the Light to help you find your way. And once you've outgrown the braid, it will be your own path you must walk.

    "But know that you will always have me on your side" His voice was but a breath carried in the quiet, "Know that that is where I've been all along, even when it did not seem so."


    Makes ya wonder if that was a slight 'foretelling' but who knows ;) in actuality all our lives are sorta like that (minus the braid part of course! hehehe)

    Loved the batter about 'on your 30th b-day' then the 'on your 60th b-day' that was juz priceless! *snrk*!! hehehe loved it!! And if your b-day is/has here/passed happy b-day/belated!!! :D
     
  9. AnariaZar-Rel

    AnariaZar-Rel Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 8, 2004
    That was a wonderful little short fic. Very touching. Special for them, but sad knowing that they didn't have as long together as they both hoped. I loved the little moments between them. Great work :)

    BTW: Happy Birthday LE! :)

    (here in NZ, the legal drinking age is 18, but I'm 21 anyway).


     
  10. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Like the others have said, very bittersweet knowing they won't have those days they talk about. A lovely little fic about growing up and growing away. Happy birthday, dear. :)

    Shaindl
     
  11. Opal

    Opal Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2003
  12. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    To clear up any confusion, my birthday was Sunday, the thirteenth. ;) And there's an update on 'Blurred Visions' in the Classics Thread today. :)

    I also need to thank Shaindl and o_e for betaing 'The Salvation in Sacrifice', which was accepted at the Archive and already has a cover. You guys were so kind to edit for me. [face_love] And also, a thanks to diane for offering her services. ;)

    diane What was weird about reading these replies was that, while I was writing it, I never thought much about the measure of sadness there was to it, at least toward the end. I guess I was writing more 'in the moment' and didn't realize that Qui-Gon wouldn't leave to experience those upcoming milestones in his life. :( Thank you for your comments and for your encouragement in the Workshop thread.

    Sheila If only I was 21! *snaps fingers* Nah, not really. I don't plan on ever even sampling the stuff. ;) Thank you for your reply. [face_love]

    o_e Aw. See what happens when I take a stab at happy fluffy stuff? [face_laugh]

    PK And a happy birthday to you! :)

    jm2 Thank you! [face_love]

    red Oooh. Thanks for the pretty decoration. :D

    Kynstar It is really sad to hear Qui-Gon talking about his Padawan's difficult future. I think that even he would have to know a little about what was to come. Thank you for the review! [face_love]

    Anaria Zar-Rey Thanks! ;)

    Shaindl A review from you is always so welcome and appreciated. :)

    Opal ;)
     
  13. TraxxasJedi

    TraxxasJedi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 9, 2004
    Cute little story. One question though. You mentioned that you dealt with a writers road block in the story. what do you mean and/or what block was it.
     
  14. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    TJ Thanks. ;) My writer's block is actually on a few other, longer stories I'm currently writing. This story was something of a breeze, without much in the way of writing troubles. :) One of those stories I neglected for a few months, after over a year of near-daily updates, so I've felt a little strange tryin to come back to it. Thanks for the review.
     
  15. TraxxasJedi

    TraxxasJedi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 9, 2004
    Ok thanks for clearing that upfor me.
     
  16. In_Luv_wit_kenobi

    In_Luv_wit_kenobi Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 2003
    that 30/60 b-day stuff is so sad. but drinking until 21? c'mon. come up to canada and you'll get all the free booze you want at any bar on your 18th. at least tradicionaly. so, you coming anytime soon?

    [face_chicken]
     
  17. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    sorry I missed such a fun day of yours, LE. but better late than never, right? :)
    happy belated b'day. o to be 18 again....lol *not really*!!

    great story. hate thinking of when I'll be like that with my little girl *sniff*
    powerfully sweet! :D
     
  18. mad4dos

    mad4dos Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 3, 2003
    a very nice sweet fic :)


    mad4dos
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.