Saga Star Wars: Episode I- The Phantom Menace... Our Edition (Humour, parody)

These scripts kind of have a long story behind them. It started when I was 12 and had only seen Return of the Jedi, and my two best friends and I got together to rewrite the Original Trilogy as Hope College vs. Calvin College to surprise our gym teacher on the last day of class. We enjoyed writing them so much that Megan and I decided to rewrite The Phantom Menace after it came out. We even have maybe half of Attack of the Clones done, though it's hard to work on when we go to college 5 hours apart from each other.

Some of the names might seem a little odd, most notably Obi-Ann's. Remember, when we wrote the Original Trilogy, we actually were going to perform them. And we had more girls than boys involved. So a girl named Anna was going to be our Obi-Wan, hence Obi-Ann.

In any case, here is the first part of Star Wars: Episode I.

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Republic ship with Obi-Ann and Qui-Stay on Trade Federation battleship. They are taken into a conference room.

Obi-Ann: I have a bad feeling about this.

Qui-Stay: Whaddya MEAN you have a bad feeling about this?

Obi-Ann: It?s that Fruit guy. I don?t like him.

Qui-Stay: I?m sure there?s nothing to worry about. The negotiations should be short.

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On the bridge of the ship

Fruit Cannonball: to hologram of Lont Sidious What are we gonna do?!? They?re Jedi Knights!

Sidious: Don?t worry. Just send Bought Codd to negotiate. AND GET RID OF THEM!

Codd: Are you braindead? You aren?t getting me anywhere near that room. Send the droid.

Sidious: Fruit, I don?t want to see this loser anymore. *You* go negotiate.

Fruit: Yes, sir. turns off hologram. Calls to droid Go take drinks to the Ambassadors.

droid leaves

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Droid arrives, and gives Obi-Ann and Qui-Stay drinks

Qui-Stay: I don?t know what?s with these guys. They seem awfully afraid for something like this.

Obi-Ann: I *told* you we should have come in disguise.

hears loud boom

Obi-Ann: What the heck was that?!?

Qui-Stay: I didn?t hear anything.

Obi-Ann: What are you, deaf? I?m serious!

Qui-Stay: I think they just blew up our ship.

Maroon and gold gas starts spouting out of vents

Obi-Ann: What the heck is THAT?

Qui-Stay: Can you say anything else? It?s poison gas, you idiot!

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Hologram of Fruit: They ought to be dead. Get rid of what?s left.

B-droid 1: Yes sir turns to B-droid 2 Let?s go.

B-droid 2: Roger, roger.

two lightsabers come on in the middle of the gas

B-Droid 1: Uh oh.

Qui-Stay and Obi-Ann run out and slice the droids to little shreds. Then they run, and run into D-droids. Then they run into the main hangar place.

Qui-Stay: Looks like an invasion army.

Obi-Ann: Really? I thought Bill Gates was inviting them all to tea.

Qui-Stay: Who?s Bill Gates?

Obi-Ann: Never mind. to audience Who says the master knows everything? I?ve always wanted to say that.

Qui-Stay: We?ll sneak down to the planet on different ships. You?ll find me.

Obi-Ann: And what happens if I?m lost forever in the jungle? Wouldn?t you feel guilty then?

Qui-Stay: You won?t get lost, because I said so.

Obi-Ann: When you actually start looking for me three weeks later and find me face down in the swamp, half eaten by carnivorous fish, remember that.

Qui-Stay: Just get moving. to himself Sometimes I wonder why I ever agreed to train him.

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Down on Cebu, Qui-Stay is running from a large semi truck. He runs into Can Can sinks. The semi rolls over them.

?Can Can? starts playing

Can Can: GEORGE! Turn off dat looney music! Tis evil music!

Qui-Stay: Okay, lemme get this straight. I save your life, and all you can think about is the music?

Can

 

Very good, wonder what siddie and maul will be like hmmmm.