Mini Fic: HIM (River Bank Series) humor

Title: HIM
Author: Obi the Kid
Dislcaimer: Don't own 'em and make no money here.
================


Obi: Master, it's very beautiful up here. Just don't look down.

Qui: Why what's down there?

Obi: Um...the river? Remember? Look at it. Green chunks, possessed tree branches...it's just...I would sure hate to fall into that thing.

Qui: You almost did. Come padawan, I must speak with Wui the mountain man one more time before we leave.

(They approach Wui, who is happily spinning.)

Wui: Back so soon? Would you like to watch me spinnnnnn?

Qui: No, I need to know why you can't just post a sign at the river, rather that have the poor boy stand next to that horrible stench. That cannot be good for him. Don't you feed him?

Wui: Well, he needs the money. So I humor him. It's not easy for me you know. I am up here just SPINNNNNNNING away my day and I have to listen to him yelling every 5 minutes. It can be quite annoying.

Qui: I can't blame him, he has alot of stress to deal with trying to keep everyone away from the river. Hey! Who is that?

(Qui points to 2 individuals who are running in circles over near forest.)

Obi: Um, master? That's Master Bren!

Qui: Your Astro-Physics teacher?

Obi: Yeah, look at her go...why is she chasing that man?

Qui: I have no idea, but...hmmm...perhaps she needs my assistance.

Obi: Master, it's best to keep your hormones under control here, she seems REALLY mad...what's she yelling about?

Qui: Not sure...something about...wait...'death to the sith troll and all his henchmen'?

Obi: Okaaaaaay...We'd better go help.

(They run over to Master Bren and manage to get her to stop running for a minute.)

Qui: Master Bren? Can we help you with anything?

Bren: Yes, you can kill this little sith troll henchman for me.

Qui: hmmm....okay...why do you need to kill him?

Bren: DON'T SAY HIS NAME!!! HIM must die!! By the way, you haven't seen a tall, good-looking Irish man running around swinging crutches at people, have you?

Qui: No, not recently...no...wait...

HIM: Here, let me fix this for you.

Bren: Qui, you'd better hold me back, cause he is gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Qui: Maybe you need to take a few minutes to relax. Focus your mind.

HIM: Here, let me fix this for you.

Bren: That's it! Come here you little...

(The chase begins again.)

Obi: Master? What do we do? I sense angst. But don't think that Master Bren is in the mood for mush right now. BUT, this is stressing ME out, big time. Can I have a hug?

Qui: Obi-Wan? NO! There are more serious things going on right now than you needing a hug. She is gonna kill that man.

Wui: Please stop the commotion! I need QUIET in order to spin correctly.

Bren: I am gonna spin you off this mountain if you don't shut your lips mountain man, I am BUSY here. DIE SITH!!!

Wui: Fine! I will spin while you yell, but if I spin incorrectly, you will have to live with the consequences.

Obi: Master? These people are scaring me. Look at HIM's eyes....NO!! It's the man from my vision. Look how bluuuuuuuuu they are....maaaaaaaasterrrrrrrrrr....I cant resist the eyeeeeeeeeeeeeees......they are drawing me in....sooooooo bluuuuuuuuuuuuu....

(Obi begins a hypnotic walk towards HIM who is still being chased by Master Bren.)

Bren: Keep the kid away Qui, this man is pure EVIL!! He must DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!

Qui: Obi-Wan, STOP!

Obi: Nooooooooo maaaaaaaaasterrrrrrrrr...they eyes are soooooo beautifullllllll...bluuuuuuuuuu...sooooo preeeettyyyyy....

(Qui runs to his padawan, catching him just as IT happens.)

HIM: Here, let me fix this for you.

Bren: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

(She holds HIM by his shoulders, picks him up, throws him in the air, and drop kicks him off the side of the mountain.)

HIM: Heeeeeeeereeeeeeee....leeeeeeet meeeeeee fiiiix thisssssss forrrrrrr yooooouuuuuuuuu...ahhhhhhhhhhhh...

Ewan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Obi: Master? No, he's in the river. The chunks are attacking...

 

great job i like it

 

Thanks!

 

you're welcome why hasn't anyone else posted

 

I think I confused everyone!! HA!

 

confused how by the title

 

no, just with these fics in general. I confuse myself when i write them!! HA!!

They are out there...somewere...lurking..

 

Very funny, as always, OTK!

 

Thanks Star! UP!

 

UP!

 

HAHAHAH!!!

 

I am NOT confused! I don't care what those little blue men tell you.....

 

The smurfs?

 

You know them too?!

 

la la la la la la la la la la la....

 

Excuse me?!

"I'll take Anal bum cover for 500"

"That's An Album Cover...."

 

I told you that you lost it!

 

*sigh* It's from a show! And I told you this story makes me act crazy!

 

Hmmm...i could fit you into one of these stories...how would you like to be a nutty Jedi groupie that wont leave obi alone? I sense a bunny!

 

*raises eyebrow* As long as you don't make me as stupid as I seem here.

 

HA! Nope..your fun, not stupid. let me think on this and see if I can come up with an idea that will work.

 

sounds great obi the kid i like these stories they don't confuse me

 

Thanks Qui!!!

 

*grin* I support Tush! ;p