Saga Splintered Path - A Post AOTC Vignette

Splintered Path
Written by LuvEwan

PG

Oh man, I can only imagine the jumbled up mess this is. I refuse to read it over. Then I'd chicken out and not post it at all.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.

Count Dooku is reminded of his past-and most recent-betrayals.

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The wine stood as dark velvet in the chalice, flawless at its surface, then ripened beyond that supple perfection as it slid from glass to throat. The flavor merely teased his tongue at first, an almost sensuous hinting that gave way to well-aged and carefully cultivated taste. The bottle had come at the expense of more than a few coins?some would warn this wasn?t the time to throw away money in frivolity, but all men came with at least one weakness that begged, no, fairly demanded indulgence.

Count Dooku leaned back in his chair, and with a deeper swallow, thought himself fortunate that his weakness was easily and harmlessly fulfilled.

Others sacrificed far more.

The Palace of Yujia was decadent, but in a somber tone of ebony and darkly stained crystal. The King of the newest addition to the widely gaining Separatist movement had been quite generous, lending the Count use of the spacious guest wing. Yet, for all his grateful speeches and hospitality, the Dark leader would not have been able to relay the name of the man, not even under pain of death. It was of little consequence: ?Your Royal Highness? would bode well as a title. However generic, it would still stir a ready wealth of pride.

The fire reflected in dark, languorously watchful eyes. Shadows cast over to the wall in fevered flickers and sharp leaps, exaggerating, as though mocking the conflagration from which it was born.

A dryness tingled in the man?s throat and he rested his lips on the cool edge of the chalice, inhaling the fine scent of the fading wine before he partook of another drink, his senses savoring the moment.

?You so enjoy it, one would think it was really blood.?

The lively jolt of the flames appeared to cower in the heated face of the words.

But Dooku?s face was smoothed of any reaction. ?I fear blood would linger too long on the palate.? He drawled.

There was a pregnant pause, during which the absence of laughter was palpable. ?No, my Master, it lingers longer on the hands.?

The comment managed to carve away a sliver of the man?s reserve. A smile twitched at the corner of his slender mouth. ?And what blood do you detect on my skin, old Padawan??

For the first time in many years, Dooku sat before his former apprentice in physical audience. The ethereal, azure glow flooded the room and chased off the darkness. The features were restored, untouchable. And though he was mildly irritated by the accusations thrust at him, he could not deny his pleasure at seeing the form of his slain comrade again.

Qui-Gon Jinn?s eyes were steady, piercing as they had been in life, reduced none by the very slight blur to the lines of his powerful, grace-blessed body. No time was reserved for peaceful ruminations or warm exchanges. There was anger pounding in that gaze. ?You would have killed him.?

Hard lines were worn in the Count?s face. He didn?t require clarification. ?I would have done what was necessary.?

The ire of a caged beast was present in Qui-Gon, for he could not throttle the man for his cold indifference. ?Murder is never necessary. Especially when the victim is one of complete innocence.?

?Your memory has softened, friend. He has not been innocent for a long while.?

?Whatever crimes you perceived him to commit?they belong to me.? The baritone was low and harsh with self-incrimination. ?I paved his path for him, and gave him no choice but to follow it.?

?He had a choice,? Dooku argued, ?I offered him another option, a different path.?

?You tried to feed him lies!? The ghost of the Jedi Master barked in outright contempt, ?It was only his inherent good sense that saved him then.?

?He would be safe in league with me, Qui-Gon. You know this. My influence h

 

LE,

In my opinion, I would say definitely DON'T change this story. This was...was... beyond words. It was awesome. I just love the description that you used in 'Splintered Path'.



The lively jolt of the flames appeared to cower in the heated face of the words.

But Dooku?s face was smoothed of any reaction. ?I fear blood would linger too long on the palate.? He drawled.

There was a pregnant pause, during which the absence of laughter was palpable. ?No, my Master, it lingers longer on the hands.?

The comment managed to carve away a sliver of the man?s reserve. A smile twitched at the corner of his slender mouth. ?And what blood do you detect on my skin, old Padawan??

Definitely love the description here with the blood.



?They were going to kill him, because their ransom demands were not being meant.?

?I couldn?t?? Qui-Gon shook his head, swallowed, and had to start again, ?I couldn?t sacrifice the mission. The Jedi couldn?t bend to them.?

?And while they were unyielding, your student sat in the cell with admirable stoicism. Before I arranged his release, he collapsed. From what I could tell, he hadn?t slept in days.?

What a knuckle-head. (QGJ)


I also love how you wrote Dooku in this.

 

A Dooku viggie from LE! Have you been spending too much time with Kynstar?

Seriously, that was fantastic. I loved it and wouldn't change a thing unless you were thinking of adding on to it.

 

Lovely language LE. It may just be me since my two predecessors made no mention of it, but I had to read this several times before I figured out what was going on. Which maybe that's what you're going for, in which case ignore me.

 

LE Your language as always is quite exquisite, using relatively common words in new ways to get your point across. The wine stood as dark velvet in the chalice, flawless at its surface, then ripened beyond that supple perfection as it slid from glass to throat.

I didn't have any problem understanding what was going on and I loved the memories of what had happened with Obi/Qui/Dooku. However, since you asked, the last 4 lines of dialogue, I was unsure of who was speaking. You might want to tweak it a bit....

Of course, being a 'Jinn' lover, I'd have to disagree with the secure your name as savior of the Chosen One thing but I figured that was what you were aiming for. And while we might disagree with that whole idea , I still love your work!

You should write more Dooku. You did him much justice in this one.

 

Oh my! Great work indeed! Loooooved it all! how could I not with him being in it??

Excellent dialogue!! Loved this especially when Dooku throws the part of Obi and the 'Chose One'!

The rage was a boiling storm in Qui-Gon?s cerulean-tinted visage.

?You accused me of using him as, what was it? Oh, a bargaining chip. But you were willing to trade him in to secure your name as savior of the Chosen One. You?ll be the one to kill him in the end.

?Now, I ask, how are we any different??

Through his anguish, Qui-Gon managed to hear, ?I?ll tell you. I have been far kinder in my methods, old friend.

?I would have spared him so much more.?

Dooku's response was priceless! Great job! The descriptions of the surroundings and that tid bit with the drink was great too! hehehehe blood would be linger too long on the palate. *SNRK!* hehehe

Poor Qui... even in the afterlife.. what he told Obi were not lies... at least the Sith in the Senate part wasn't hehehe

Magnificent work!!

 

MR13 Thank you! Thank you so much.

Opal Kyn actually inspired me to write my first totally non-Obi-Wan story ever, centered around Jocasta Nu and Dooku, of course.

o_e What do you mean? You didn't understand it altogether?

diane Dooku was trying to hit a nerve with Qui-Gon when he said that part about securing his place as the finder of the Chosen One. Or maybe I was just trying to hit a nerve with you. I was in a rush to get through with writing this, can you tell? I'll tweak those lines tomorrow. And Dooku is such a blast to write. He's just so smooooth.

Kynstar I bow before you, oh Queen of the Dookus, and humbly accept your generous compliments. Thank you, really. You know his character so well, its such a compliment that you think this did him justice.

 

Bravo

 

PK Thank you.

I also changed the last few lines to hopefully clear up the confusion.

 

Yikes--did I attach an anchor to this thread? It's sinking.

 

LE--i'm so sorry I didn't get to post about your story before now. I read it the day you posted, but had some weird internet problems and failed to be able to post until now. i want you to know that I talked my hubby's ears off about this story all weekend! lol--seriously--he knows i love this one!

i love the opening dialog between Qui & Dooku--the banter about the wine & blood and Dooku asking And what blood do you detect on my skin, old Padawan? man! what a great opening!

and then the compliment paid to Qui from Dooku: ?You were created to teach, Qui-Gon.? Dooku said in a hush, burnished rose and orange glowing at the window beyond him, ?Failure and insecurity aside, it was what you were made to do. It was the ultimate will of the Force.? such insight into their relationship at that moment!

i think i quoted this verbatim to my hubby as i was sharing this story with him: I KNOW YOU, Master. My Padawan doesn?t have to. i loved this! and i keep thinking, "if only Obi had known about all this"!!

overall, very sad, but so powerful of a look into this moment! I think you've done a great job with this!
bravo!!

 

Oh wow LE what a wonderful post -- I'm a JInn love like Diane and I think you did a most excellent job with his character. I absolutely agree that the language of the story was beautiful -- you did such a wonderful job -- great work! I wish you'd write more of these

 

I don't think I've ever seen Dooku so well written before. He also isn't usually the main character in fanfiction, and it's rather refreshing to see him used as such here.

 

How could I have missed this LE! That was a beautiful and interesting vignette. I wouldn't change a thing. And your rendition of Dooku was WONDERFUL! Loved the part where Qui-Gon didn't want him to leave, another piece of his life he would never see again.

 

Oh wow! You write Dooku so well! Who knew? An incredible vignette, really amazing. But then, considering the author, that is no surprise!

 

SarkaVrae Oh, your poor husband! Thank you very much.

Layren No, I can't write more! I have ongoing stories to write on! No! Don't tempt me! *runs off screaming* And thank you.

Ailowyn What a compliment! Writing Dooku is fun. I think I have a smirk on my face the whole time, he's such a wicked, complicated guy.

t_s I think I should have waited to post after the holiday weekend was over. But I just couldn't hold off. Thank you so much for reading.

VL64 Aw, thank you.

 

What a compliment! Writing Dooku is fun. I think I have a smirk on my face the whole time, he's such a wicked, complicated guy.

Isn't he though LE? And deliciously so too!!!

I second them perhaps you should do some more viggies like that with him! I soooo loved the one you did with Jo and Dooku! Poor guy at least he did ask her to go with him hehehehe and of course her dedication and loyalty to the Order surpassed their old flame.

I know I'm gonna bawl my eyes out in the theater come May 19!!! *SNIFF* Hooray for FanFic!!!!

 

Friendly up! And congrads on the nom

 

How did I not post a reply here? *smacks self*

Okay...

What else can I say that hasn't been said? What a lovely piece! So... emotional. Dooku was a pure, chilling figure here. He was set just right. And the flashback! It was tense, it was descriptive... I love Qui/Obi angst! And Dooku...

Dooku=

?Murder is never necessary. Especially when the victim is one of complete innocence.?

?Your memory has softened, friend. He has not been innocent for a long while.?

That was the greatest stand-out for me. Although I love Obi, you're right, he's not innocent. And the fact that Qui-Gon doesn't see it, and that Dooku does and believes it... wooo!

Great job and all that jazz. A great piece!

-Krystal

 

Kynstar Ew, don't get your Dooku drool all over the place! This is my third piece with him. Are you never satisfied? And thank you so much for the 'up'.

Healer_Leona It slowly hit me what a colossal mistake Qui-Gon makes in TPM with the whole Anakin thing. It leaves such a lasting mark on Obi-Wan emotionally. I don't think even he could deny that he was wrong to go about it the way he did. Thank you for your review.

Krystal How did I not post a reply here? *smacks self* Yes, I'm very upset about your tardiness. To make amends, you must post several new chapters of Breathe, including many scenes with a shirtless Obi-Wan.

Deal?

Drat. I guess your horrible sig says it all.

 

Congrats on the well deserved nom for this piece, LE! Sure You don't want more? dangles more bunnies temptingly you know you want them .....

 

Satisfied? About seeing enough Dooku fanfic? Hmmmmmm

Noppers!! can't have enough of that man!!

As for drool... what this? hehehehehe

Hehehehe yeah yeah I'm a nut! And I know it!

Congrads on the nom!

(And in the background a strong voice calls out... *MORE* hehehehe )

 

Finally, I get time to sit down and read this. That was great. The characterizations and relationships were spot on. The lines about the blood were an excellent exchange. The flashback was delightful. So good to see Dooku not running about chopping off heads, as it were, because there is good in him, such as not allowing Obi-Wan to be harmed because he was a child. Really shows his whole person. I found the end... disturbing, almost a bit abrupt, but it actually seems fitting in a way, like Dooku's words snapped Qui-Gon's connection to the tangible world. Or that's the image I get anyway. Yes, silly Dooku to think either of them, stubborn heads that they are, would leave the Jedi. But he does care for Qui-Gon, and I have to agree that writing Dooku is much fun. Lovely work.

 

Yes, I'm very upset about your tardiness. To make amends, you must post several new chapters of Breathe, including many scenes with a shirtless Obi-Wan.

Deal?

Drat. I guess your horrible sig says it all

*considers*

DOESN'T IT?

Although a shirtless Obi-Wan does sound... fun... heh heh.

And congrats on the nom! Dooku deserved it here.

-Krystal