First FanFic--I Will Wait--Excerpts from the Diary of a Handmaiden

Okay, well, this is the first fanfic of my own that I am posting, and I?m sorta nervous, so please be nice. I can take criticism, but please make it constructive. This is totally different from anything else I?ve written, but since the other stories I?m working on are coming along pretty slowly, I decided to force myself to write just a short fic and actually post it.
I know other people have done diaries of the characters in TPM, but I?ve never seen one like this, so I hope that either nobody has done this before, or that if they have, they won?t hate me for doing it, too.
And ... I hope you like!

Author: princess-sari
Comments: Post them here, pm me, or email me at the address in my profile.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars and I am not making any money off this.


~Pages torn from the diary of Saché, Handmaiden to Queen Amidala of Naboo.~
~Written during the occupation of Naboo by the Trade Federation.~


-------~~^^^~~^~~~~^^^^^^^^------------~~~~^~^~^~^^^^^~^^^^^^^^^^^
As I sit here on a balcony of Theed Palace, I wonder what the next few days will hold.
The Jedi are supposed to arrive tomorrow. We can only hope that their intervention will stop the Trade Federation?s blockade. Our people are beginning to go hungry. If someone doesn?t do something soon, I don?t know what will happen. We do have one thing on our side, though--our Queen.

How proud I am now to serve her!
When I was first chosen to be a handmaiden, I had mixed feelings, but now I know I am in the right place.

Padmé is proof that leadership does not require years, only wisdom. Without her leadership, I am sure Naboo would have fallen long ago...

^^^^^------~~~~~~----^^^^^^^^^^^----~~~~~^^^^~~~~~~~~^~^~^~^~^~-
We are alone now. It is just Yané and I. Our Mistress left Naboo today with the two Jedi and took only Rabé and Eirtaé, and, of course, Sabé. I understand why Padmé left us behind, but it is still difficult.

Yané and I must represent the Queen while she is gone. We must be brave, just as Padmé would be if she was still here. We must convince the people, by the way we act, that the Queen is still with us, even though she is far away. I am determined to show the people that they must not give up hope?no matter what.

I just hope that wherever Padmé, Sabé, Eirtaé, and Rabé are, they are safe. I hope that when the Queen goes before the Senate, they will listen. I hope that soon our planet will be free again. I hope that my friends come back soon...safe...and alive.

~~~~~-----^^^^^~^~^~^~------~~~^^^^^^^-------~~~~~~~^^~^~^~^^^^^^
Governor Bibble sent a message to the Queen?s ship last night. Wherever they are, I hope they got it...and I hope they didn?t.

I am not sure why the Governor chose to send such a message. Of course our people are dying, they have been dying. Padmé does not need a message to tell her that. And I fear that getting such a message will cause her to return before she can convince the Senate to help us. That it will make her feel guilt she does not deserve.

*Why* did he send that message?

~~~^^^^~^~~~---------^^^^^^~~~~~^~^~^~^~^~^~------------------~~~~~~


There is more if anybody wants it, although only enough for one long post or two short ones...
Respond please...
Have pity on a newbie writer.

 

Good job, princess-sari! Yes, please do post more! Sometime I forget about the handmaidens who were left behind on Naboo.

 

I'm interested in reading this, it has potential. You can offer a new perspective of the battle here...go for it.- excal

 

Ohh... haven't seen too much of Saché and Yané, the two handmaidens left behind. Good work! I look forward to seeing more!

~*~Bria

 

Whoa, you guys are fast readers!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You have made me very happy.
I will post the rest tomorrow.

 

Yea for handmaiden stories! Keep going.

 

this is soooooooo good I can't wait for more

 

Looks pretty good. I can't wait to see more

 

YEAH! Sari's writting a fan fic!

UP!

 

I don't read a lot of Prequel era fanfic, but this looks very interesting. I'm looking forward to your next post, princess-sari.

 

<grins>
Wow, thanks everybody. It really means a lot to me that people are actually reading this.
I will post more later.

 

What a good idea! I like how we get to see what's going on back at the palace while Phantom Menace was going on. I look foward to you posting the rest of this.

 

Well, had I known there would be so much interest in this, I would have written more...
Thanks to everybody who has commented!!!


~~~^^^^~^~~~---------^^^^^^~~~~~^~^~^~^~^~^~------------------~~~~~~
This is one of the times I am glad I never gave up recording my thoughts on flimsy. There are times when the sound of the stylus as I write is almost as comforting as pouring out my thoughts is. Datapads just aren?t the same.

Why am I so in need of comfort?
Today I watched as battle-droids executed a group of ?rebels? in Theed?s main plaza. They simply shot them down in cold blood.
The Neimodians forced Yané and I to watch along with Governor Bibble and the Council members. We stood together, surrounded by battle-droids, and watched helplessly and silently.

But not without protest. I am almost afraid to write these words, for fear someone might find and read them and we would lose our only method of communication and resistance.
It has long been the custom on Naboo to use clothing as a form of communication, with different colors used for their symbolism. Now we are using this old custom to fight the Trade Federation in the only way we can.

Today, when we were told there would be an execution of some of the leaders of the ?rebel cells? in the plaza, the same thought must have occurred to all of us. For though we had no chance to speak with one another, when we were gathered to be escorted to the plaza, we were all dressed in colors and styles to symbolize our grief, anger, determination, and resistance.
Yané and I, of course, have been allowed to stay together in our rooms in the Palace. I am not sure why this is so. After all, we were on our way to be ?processed? when the Jedi appeared and took away Padmé, and the others.

Yané and I didn?t need to speak to decide what we would wear. We simply chose our clothes together. One of us held up a gown, the other chose shoes, and so on.
Knowing that we were all speaking this secret language, that while to the Trade Federation we may seem to be beaten, but we are really protesting at every step, and that even now Padmé must be pleading our cause and getting help for Naboo, is all that got me through the execution.
Because there is something I told no one, not even Yané.

When we arrived at the plaza and I looked across and saw the Naboo to be executed, I knew one of them. Better than knew him?he was my brother.

I would have run across the plaza to him, thrown myself in front of him, let them shoot me or beat me or kill me, except that at the same time I saw Zac, he saw me. All the way across the plaza our eyes met, and I knew he didn?t want me to do any of that. We are not Jedi, we cannot read minds, but somehow Zac and I have always been able to know what the other is thinking. And I knew then that he was proud to die for Naboo and that he wanted to me to stay silent so that I can fight tomorrow or the next day or the next or whenever Padmé returns to lead our people. I knew that he would tell me, if he could, that his death would serve a purpose and so would my life.

And so I stood still and watched them kill my brother, fighting with every ounce of strength and control that I have learned while serving the Queen not to give away my secret.

And now I must live with the fact that I succeeded...that I did nothing while they killed Zac.

I did nothing...

----^~^~^~^----^~^-^-^-^~^~~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~~~~~~~^^^^^^~^~^~^~

 

This is really good! Can't wait for more!!

 

More Sari, more. I love seeing the occupation from the eyes of one of the handmaidens. You've started to capture the feelings that she must have had during that affair. Keep going!

Jair

 

That was a bittersweet post sari, but it was very well written. If youhave any more to this story I'd love to see it. If not, you should consider writing more.

 

Thanks, again, everybody!

Marie--There is one more post written, and since ppl seem to like it, I have another thought out and I will get it written and post it, too. After that, who knows? I wasn't expecting this kind of response!

 

Keep writing, princess-sari! Eager to read more!

 

Ohhhhhhh, that's so sad! It reminds me of my fic, in a way. That whole Naboo thing (I love names ending in "é") and executions... yeah, quite similar. But seriously, your writing is amazing. I love the simulations of "torn" flimsiplast -- very cool. Post more!

 

I really like this fic I am hopeing for more soon

 

I'm only finding this now??

Seriously, great idea Sari. And you've written it so well. I really liked the descriptions of the clothing and what they symbolised etc. And you've given a wonderful insight into their thoughts, the general reaction of all the people too. And the handmaiden's thoughts about being left behind were acurate I think. I hope you can post the next part soon!

 

Actually, the stuff about the clothing I got from the Visual Dictionary--I thought it was a cool idea, so I included it.
I'm glad everybody is enjoying this.
Will post more tomorrow!

 

UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Well, I decided to post early today. Hope everybody enjoys this. This is the last part I have written and it's supposed to be the end, but I'm going to try to write more today and post it tomorrow as sort of an epilogue. Oh, and Melne, I forgot to thank you for noticing the torn flimsy edges!


----^~^~^~^----^~^-^-^-^~^~~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~~~~~~~^^^^^^~^~^~^~
As I read over yesterday?s entry and as I write now, I am struck by how coolly I am able to write about Zac?s death. I think it is because it has not yet become real to me. None of this is. I feel like it is all happening to someone else, or like it is a dream?no a nightmare?that I will soon wake up from That Eirtaé will be standing over me, wondering why I always have to be shaken awake in the morning to start preparing the Queen?s wardrobe for the day.

How can I feel like this?

I have not even cried yet. Not one tear for my brother who died so bravely.
What is wrong with me? Why am I so unfeeling?
And at the same time that I feel guilty and wrong for feeling nothing, I am afraid to start to feel. I am afraid that once I start to cry, I will never stop, that once it starts to hurt it will always hurt.I have always heard people say this about grief, and I never understood. It was just words to me. But now I know. And I wish I also knew the answer, the solution, but I don?t.
There is only one thing I can do. Only one way I can think of to ease the pain of feeling no pain.

That is to make a promise to do what I know Zac wanted me to do.

And so I write here, now, in my diary, that promise.

I promise to live and to fight. I promise that I will wait for the Queen to return so that I will be ready to help in her in any way I can. And if she never returns, although I am certain she will, I will wait until someone else stands up to lead our people to overthrow the Trade Federation. And if no one stands up, then I will wait for the right time and I will stand up and lead our people myself. I will wait as long as I have to, as long as it takes.
That is my promise...I will wait...
^^^^~~~~~-----^^~^~^~^^^^^^^^-----------~~~~~~^^^^~^~^~~~~~----~~~

 

Good job, princess-sari! I hope you are going to write more fanfic. I especially like the fact that you chose to write about characters that I think tend to get lost among the major characters. It was refreshing to read about characters other than Amidala, Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon, etc. (Not that there's anything wrong with those characters!

Just nice to get a fresh perspective.