Before - Legends I Suffered and Died While People Wrote This Story In A Committee! (Writer's Race Challenge 3 entry)

Title: I Suffered and Died While People Wrote This Story In A Committee!
Author: Knight_Dilettante with "help" from the Writer's Race entrants
Genre: Quite possibly the worst Star Trek/Star Wars cross-over ever. I don't remember whose fault Spock's appearance is but blame him or her. Not me.
Notes: An entry for challenge three in the Writer's Race. I have no other excuse to offer for it.

Edited with permission from Kettch to make it easier to see the sentences I was incorporating from challenge 3 (ya'll should go check those out - Kettch is an inventive little sadist - I mean that as the highest of compliments, by the way, Kettch). All sentences are in order for the mini story they came from of course. I believe I did however switch which story was first. It was too hard to do otherwise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't Jump." Kirk shouted. The group at the door of the burning shuttlecraft turned to look at him as if he were insane. "Someone has tampered with the parachutes." He said, pointing to the pack on Obi-Wan's back.

Qui-Gon looked at it closely. "It would appear that Captain Kirk is correct. We will be unable to survive if we rely on the self-opening mechanism.

Obi-Wan looked at his Master with wide eyes. "How can you be so calm, while you're telling me this?"

Kirk didn't wait for Qui-Gon to answer. "Panic won't help. Calm is definitely better."

"As long as you don't go all pathological with it like our pointy-eared friend here." McCoy said.

"There is no need to be insulting Dr McCoy." Spock said.

"We'll just have to pull each other's 'chutes." Chekov said as if that solved everything.

"Yes, that should work nicely." Qui-Gon said. Then he pushed the entire group out of the hatchway in a clump.

McCoy's cry of surprise was echoed somewhat less stridently by Chekov and Obi-Wan.

Those who could reach another person's release cord pulled them. But that still left Qui-Gon, Kirk and Chekov free falling. Qui-Gon closed his eyes and concentrated. Ah, there. Chekov's parachute opened and he disappeared from Kirk's view as his plunge ceased.

Kirk looked at Qui-Gon still falling opposite him and shouted across to him, "Did you do that?" Qui-Gon nodded. "How?" Kirk asked as Qui-Gon's eyes closed again. Kirk's parachute opened and dragged him away just as the answer came.

"I just let the Force guide me." Qui-Gon shouted. Then he closed his eyes once more and his own parachute opened.

They hit the ground in various places and at different times due to the delay in opening some of the parachutes. Qui-Gon was badly injured due to his being the last to open and thus his not having had enough time in the wind currents to avoid the cliffs that had been approaching.

The others scrambled down to him very quickly, McCoy already pulling out his medical tricorder and Kirk his communicator. Within moments they had been beamed back to the ship and were on their way to sickbay.

Qui-Gon had gone in and out of consciousness during the time it took to get to sickbay. Once McCoy had him on the biobed and had gotten the data he needed he had explained to Kirk and both Jedi that Qui-Gon would need surgery to repair some damaged tissue.

"Will you be alright, Master?" Obi-Wan asked quietly while McCoy and his nurse discussed the surgery.

"What is the Force telling you?" Qui-Gon asked Obi-Wan.

"That my Master is a very determined man." Obi-Wan answered a bit shakily.

"You are mis-translating to soothe my ego again. I'm sure it said stubborn." Qui-gon teased weakly.

"That's it. Time for you to go under Mr. Jinn." Dr. McCoy said briskly as if operating on a patient from an unknown alternate universe was something he did every day.

"Master? What is your answer about if you will teach me the fifty-seventh kata?" Obi-Wan asked as the mask was lowered over Qui-Gon's face and the gas to s

 

Just to clarify the title:

I suffered (aching sides from laughing too hard) and died (laughing, natch) while the contest was on to write the mini-stories this is supposed to include. When Kettch tells me it is ok to edit I will go in and put some kind of highlighting on the sentences from the challenge so that people can see it better. I don't like bolding it because that messes up emphasis but I realized (after I had posted unfortunately) that I had not thought about the simple expedient of changing the color of the text. It looks like that should work fine without being too alarming.

KD

 

That was quite wonderful, actually. I laughed hard and often. My family (I'm sitting in the kitchen at home right now) thought I was nuts. I loved all the mini scenes, but especially the one with Obi-Wan making Spock emotional. "Familiarity is not the same as desirability." Very Jedi. Great job!

 

You see, I liked the title best and the story was great, too.

 

That was great, KD. You really managed to make sense of this. I'm not an ST fan, but I loved this, especially Spock and his emotional outburst.

The whole story was completely different from the sentences we wrote in the challenge, yet you still managed to include them without them seeming out of place. Great job.
Oh, and I love the titel.

 

Wonderful! I actually understood this one. That's sorty of scary!

 

K_D what dose it say about me that I really liked this one?

I liked how Qui-Gon opened the parachutes with the Force. The diologe in general. And the whole thing with Obi messing with Spock's mind, too funny.