Saga Final Priority - Qui/Obi Angst - Vignette

Title: Final Priority
Author: Maychorian
Timeframe: TPM
Genre: Angst
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn
Summary: Eleven years ago, Qui-Gon begged the Force for a favor?the only time he ever asked such of that all-powerful ruler of his life. Now has come the reckoning.
Author?s Note: This is along the same story arc as ?Priorities? and makes reference to that story, but it isn?t necessary to read that in order to understand this one.
Disclaimer: Still not mine. Still not getting paid.

Final Priority

It . . . it?s too late . . . it . . .

No!

Obi-Wan, promise . . . promise me you will train the boy . . .

Yes, Master. Frantic nodding. Anything. Obi-Wan would promise anything.

He . . . is the Chosen One. He . . . will bring . . . balance.

Obi-Wan nodded, his eyes begging for more, for something else, for some indication, instruction, something to guide him for the rest of his life. Qui-Gon touched his cheek with one weak finger, felt the tears slicking the smooth, warm flesh.

Train him . . .

Obi-Wan tried to hold him by the sheer force of his love, his anguish. Qui-Gon tried to stay. And failed. One last time, he failed his Padawan. His eyes fell shut against his will, closing away the weeping boy who filled his vision.

Not enough! He roared against the bonds of his fading life as the Force surged in to take him in an embrace of pure white, cold and formless and absolute. Not fair! If I must leave him now, let me give him something else in my last moment, not this cruel imperative! Let me tell him how much I love him, how proud I am to have been his teacher, his confidant and friend through twelve years of strife! Don?t make me use his love for me to chain him to a burden he is not ready to bear! Not fair!

But the inexorable will of the Force did not care about what was fair or right or loving. By the time Obi-Wan had finished the battle?and oh, such a beautiful sight it had been, even couched in fear and anger and grief, the sight of his Padawan coming into his own with the Force singing a glorious aria of triumph and power around him?by the time the boy had rushed over and drawn Qui-Gon?s heavy, limp-necked head into his arms, the precious grains of sand had all but finished trickling through the hourglass, and the ragged thread, fast unraveling, had all but snapped. Every breath was rationed, every word a struggle; only a few remained.

And the Force made its last demand of Qui-Gon Jinn. Anakin Skywalker must be trained. This must be seen to first. Nothing else matters.

But it does! Qui-Gon screamed. Obi-Wan matters! He does, he does!

Qui-Gon had followed the will of the Force all his life, and that priority overrode all others. Now, at the end, he suddenly found that he wanted to change that, just once, wanted to forget the commands of this mystical energy field and follow a different voice. He struggled, but could not overcome more than half a century of inertia, not with the weak and failing shreds of strength left to him. His mouth moved as the Force dictated, even as he would have sold his soul to change this.

Obi-Wan, promise me you will make sure someone trains the boy, make sure it goes as well as it can, oversee from afar, be involved, but don?t bear the weight of the universe on your young shoulders, oh, my Padawan, my son . . . .

The words he wanted to speak emerged from lips numb and trembling, distorted, truncated, and wrong, wrong, wrong . . . .

Qui-Gon Jinn had never been one to see visions and dream dreams, so it was the cruelest irony that now, when it was too late, he saw far ahead. The Force was all but tangible now as his grip on his corporeal form loosened and faded, and the images swirling in the pristine depths made him want to laugh with bitterness, cry with horror, empty the stomach he could no longer feel. This m

 

This was great. What I liked in particular, was the way Qui's words came all twisted and 'truncated' - what he meant to say was vastly different from what he actually said. I belong to the category of SW fans who argue that Qui *must* have communicated something of what he truly felt to Obi-Wan...regardless of his loyalty to his master, Obi would not have felt quite so much conviction to train Ani, else. I think.

Good job.

 

Hmm. Angsty. But I dunno...I think the Jedi saw the Force as impersonal, and thus laid the groundwork for their destruction. (The Jedi were all but extinct by ANH; it's not a spoiler!) It would be more Qui-Gon's style to at first rail against the Force (as he does here) and then, scratching beneath the surface, discover infathomable depths within the Force that the Jedi had not seen before, the thing that would save them. And Qui-Gon's soul remaining behind to try to communicate that to Obi-Wan. But that's more of a personal philosophy thing, I guess.

I do like the scene of Qui-Gon being able to see the future and the hard road ahead for his padawan. And, of course, willing himself to "stay behind" as it were to be there for him.

 

Wow, this is a really powerful piece of writing.

and oh, such a beautiful sight it had been, even couched in fear and anger and grief, the sight of his Padawan coming into his own with the Force singing a glorious aria of triumph and power around him

What a beautiful picture you paint with words here!

Obi-Wan, promise me you will make sure someone trains the boy, make sure it goes as well as it can, oversee from afar, be involved, but don?t bear the weight of the universe on your young shoulders, oh, my Padawan, my son . . . .

The words he wanted to speak emerged from lips numb and trembling, distorted, truncated, and wrong, wrong, wrong . . . .

That's just heartbreaking. Yet I find it comforting, in a way. I'm no expert on Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's relationship; I haven't read any pre-TPM books. Still, I always felt that it was unfair of Qui-Gon to leave Obi-Wan with that directive - as you so eloquently say, to use his love for me to chain him to a burden he is not ready to bear. This perspective makes it easier to deal with, if he had truly felt more reasonable, more attached to Obi-Wan, but the Force willed otherwise.

Too much, too much for his tender-hearted Padawan, always quick to apologize, to volunteer his own slender frame for the hanging of all the guilt and approbation he could remotely claim as his. Qui-Gon knew that the bright smile he treasured, the light laughter that had become increasingly rare even in recent years, would soon fade almost to extinction. And he had no time to lighten that burden even with the small comfort of his pride and love, for Obi-Wan would never know. His last words had been spoken, and they had not been for his Padawan, but for a small boy from the desert, the soldering of the final link in the fetter that bound Obi-Wan Kenobi to his fate.

Even in the midst of the despair, though, what a wonderful portrayal of Qui-Gon's love for Obi-Wan.

He was not strong enough to stay in his body. But his rage against the thing he had surrendered his life to was enough to retain his spirit in coherence, the rarity of a personality within the impersonal Force. He knew this had been rumored of, but never confirmed. It did not matter. In this final matter, he followed the dictates of something besides the Force.

That's a fascinating (and moving) thought.

Truly a beautiful vignette. I'm so glad it caught my eye.

 

Very nicely done. I liked that Qui-Gon's words did not match what he wanted to say but that his will was enough to keep him from going totally into the Force. Great setup for the future.

Lovely!

 

I loved this little story! I seriously felt like you captured the characters and the situation perfectly. I always felt disapointed in Qui Gon for what he said with his dying breath, but I also knew he was very stuborn and dutybound so I let it go. But I became more disapointed in his last words as I began to read the Jedi Apprentice series because they were like a father and son, and I found myself almost tearing up when I would watch Phantom Menace because I was heart broken that he never said anything else to Obi Wan.

I just thought this was a beautiful and tragic story, great job really!

 

That was sweet! I really felt bad for Qui-Gon, he just could not say what he should have and Obi-Wan could not say no. Awesome, gripping stuff. Well done!

 

The words he wanted to speak emerged from lips numb and trembling, distorted, truncated, and wrong, wrong, wrong . . . .

That is heartbreaking! Two people who desperately need all the time in the world to say what they need to say, who only have a nanosecond...and can't say the right words. You managed to express the problem in such a wonderful, if heart-wrenching way. Poor Qui and Obi!

 

Wow, maychorian, that was really really good.

 

Beautiful!

 

Princess_Arulmozhi I belong to the category of SW fans who argue that Qui *must* have communicated something of what he truly felt to Obi-Wan...

I think so too. But knowing those two, Jedi that they are, I get the feeling that they communicated how they felt more in actions and simple gestures than in words. So at the end, when time was almost out, it would have been nice to hear some words. But GL (or the Force) had different plans. Plus, having men in a movie say they love each other would just fuel the slashers. You'd still think they could find a way to get it across, though. Or at least have Qui-Gon's dying words be for the young man who has been his partner for the last twelve years.

agentj But I dunno...I think the Jedi saw the Force as impersonal, and thus laid the groundwork for their destruction. (The Jedi were all but extinct by ANH; it's not a spoiler!) It would be more Qui-Gon's style to at first rail against the Force (as he does here) and then, scratching beneath the surface, discover infathomable depths within the Force that the Jedi had not seen before, the thing that would save them. And Qui-Gon's soul remaining behind to try to communicate that to Obi-Wan.

Hmm. Interesting interpretation. That could very possibly be true. Of course the Force DOES have a reason for insisting that Obi-Wan train Anakin. And Qui-Gon does recognize that, as a Jedi. But as a man, he is greatly frustrated that his last moments serve a Unifying Force problem, while he'd much rather live in the moment, as usual, and tell his young apprentice something more personal. At least, that's the way I see it.

Of course, there are many ways that last moment could have gone, and I'm not the only one to interpret it oddly. This is just the bunny that presented itself to me from that short story I mentioned, and because I heard somewhere that Qui-Gon was the first to keep a coherent personality within the Force, and I wondered why that was. Quite possibly something entirely different was going through Qui's mind at the end.

More replies later.

 

Oh how sad! Poor Qui! And I can see that as to why he could not say what he truly wanted. The Force demanded one last thing of him...despite his wants he did as he was guided to. That I can truly see!

Great work! Loved the feelings here! Well written!

 

Gabri_Jade

Wow, thanks for the in-depth review!

This perspective makes it easier to deal with, if he had truly felt more reasonable, more attached to Obi-Wan, but the Force willed otherwise.

Good! That's what I was trying to do--reconcile the open, compassionate man who did everything in his power to free a slave boy with the man who would practically forget his protege in his last words. Just seemed like it didn't quite mesh.

Truly a beautiful vignette. I'm so glad it caught my eye.

Me too!

dianethx Great setup for the future.

Oh dear. You've just given me ideas . . . .

SiriKenobi12 But I became more disapointed in his last words as I began to read the Jedi Apprentice series because they were like a father and son, and I found myself almost tearing up when I would watch Phantom Menace because I was heart broken that he never said anything else to Obi Wan.

Me too! The first time I saw the movie it didn't really mean anything to me--it was so obviously a plot device to make sure that Obi-Wan turned into the ANH Ben. But as I grew to know and love the characters of Qui and Obi, that scene just became so very heart-wrenching. I watched it at least half a dozen times in a row just before writing this story, to get myself in the proper mood, and I was getting teary-eyed!

Healer_Leona It did not serve a dying man, nor a heartbroken boy left alone to his task, his burden. .. this left me in tears though.

Aw, I'm so glad I affected you so deeply.

Anakin_Heartbreaker I really felt bad for Qui-Gon, he just could not say what he should have and Obi-Wan could not say no.

The Force really stuck them both, didn't it? Stupid Force.

Jemmiah Two people who desperately need all the time in the world to say what they need to say, who only have a nanosecond...and can't say the right words.

Really not fair at all. I want a longer death scene! I want Qui-Gon to linger!

Koori

Thank you! Love the icon.

VaderLVR64

Thanks.

Kynstar The Force demanded one last thing of him...despite his wants he did as he was guided to. That I can truly see!

I really wanted to keep Qui-Gon in character in this short. Though it seems unlike him to get so ticked off at the Force, I thought it seemed appropriate, considering what it was doing to him and Obi-Wan.

Thanks for reading, everyone!

 

This vignette is perfect, just perfect! I can see that scene from TPM running through my head again, and it seems so much stronger now.

Don?t make me use his love for me to chain him to a burden he is not ready to bear! Not fair!

I feel that you've summed up Obi-Wan's situation excellently. Training Anakin was first and foremost a promise that Obi-Wan made to his Master, and it is this promise that Obi-Wan makes on Qui-Gon's deathbed that haunts him after Anakin turns to the Dark Side. It is not only unfair, it is also heartwrenching, simply because of the strength of Obi-Wan's love for Qui-Gon.

and oh, such a beautiful sight it had been, even couched in fear and anger and grief, the sight of his Padawan coming into his own with the Force singing a glorious aria of triumph and power around him

That's a beautiful description! I truly believe that Qui-Gon must have felt very proud of Obi-Wan's victory over Darth Maul, even in those final moments of his life. After all, every Master hopes that his/her Padawan will become a talented Jedi Knight, attuned to the Force.

Obi-Wan, promise me you will make sure someone trains the boy, make sure it goes as well as it can, oversee from afar, be involved, but don?t bear the weight of the universe on your young shoulders, oh, my Padawan, my son . . . .

The words he wanted to speak emerged from lips numb and trembling, distorted, truncated, and wrong, wrong, wrong . . . .

It's really heartbreaking how Qui-Gon wasn't able to get these words across; so different were they from those that we actually heard. Surely there is no greater regret that a dying man can have...

Of course, the Force did not answer. Why would he expect it to? It served the galaxy and stars, the life in every corner of the universe. It did not serve a dying man, nor a heartbroken boy left alone to his task, his burden.

Of course, after RotS, we know that this isn't really the case; that the Force does make allowances for stubborn Masters who have unfinished words for their former Padawans, and Jedi Masters who feel that they have failed in their task. It does, however, raise the following point: why, then, is the Force kind to them? Perhaps it is because the Force knows that it has let some people down; perhaps this is its own way of making up for it.