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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

The Power of Water Prevails sort of a JA fanfic

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Norbooboo, Apr 1, 2000.

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  1. Norbooboo

    Norbooboo Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2000
    Hello everyone. I confess I am a lurker!!! I have been enjoying all of these stories. I have been reading myself ragged, having found this board only a few days ago!! I think I am going to post a story of mine if that is okay. I is my second story. I have posted it a couple of other places so if you have read it please ignore it (and accept my apology). I am hoping that I can get more constructive criticism so that my next story can be a bit better. It is not quite a JA story, but I don't know what else to call it. It takes place 20 years or so before TPM and is AU. Hope it is acceptable.
    PS This is kind of long. Sorry!!
    Part 1 The Power of Water Prevails

    Note: The title of this story comes from Tao Te Ching 78. As usual The characters in this story are wholly the property of George Lucas and I will make no money from this story. I gain only my own enjoyment.

    The Power of Water Prevails
    Part 1

    It seemed to her that she was never able to be alone. And so Perigilliam san Fi`anna was feeling very excited about her eminent departure from the Jedi Temple on Couresant. The Padawan learner would be completely alone for thirty six hours while she piloted a small transport ship to Demetrus. Her Master had been on the planet for the past week on a solo mission. Perigilliam was to bring him back to Couresant. While she had missed her Master, she could not deny that she was a solitary person and was thoroughly enjoying her time alone. Yet a jedi is never alone in the Temple. The force sensitive minds around oneself could always be felt even sometimes heard. Now, now she was going to be completely alone.

    ?Is the ship ready to leave, Master Cialte??

    ?Yes Padawan Fi?anna. You may leave whenever you are ready.? The old Jedi was wiping his hands on a dirty rag. ?I must apologize for the delay. I had a little initiate hanging on me most of the morning. Has a real affinity for mechanics, but the boy can be a real bother sometimes.? The chiding was gentle, but there was real frustration behind it.

    ?Believe me Master, I know how you feel. I worked in the children?s dormitory yesterday.? She simply shook her head, as Master Cialte laughed gently.

    ?Have a good journey Perigilliam and may the force be with you.?

    ?And you too Master.?

    The cruiser came to life in her hands and after final checks were done she was on her way. Perigilliam was a good pilot. The jump into hyperspace went smoothly. She adjusted the auto-pilot and pushed her seat back. It wasn?t long before she was enjoying the tea she had prepared for the journey and reading an ancient manuscript written about thousands years before she was born. It was written by Sil-A?brim one of the greatest jedi masters to have lived. He and a handful of other force sensitive beings formed the jedi code which she and all others of the order aspired to live by. Soon she was completely absorbed. Perigilliam loved these books. She preferred their company over any single person?s except her Master?s. Master Qui-gon Jinn was a perfect match for her. She couldn?t imagine anyone else as her teacher. He was wise and tolerant. He knew to allow his student plenty of room. Although lately as the twenty year old Perigilliam approached the time when she would attempt the trials to earn her knighthood, Qui-gon was lecturing her more and more about her need for isolation.

    ?It is a weakness,? he told her. ?Not in itself, but in that you have not examined its causes.?

    She knew he was right, but that did not make the ?examination? any easier. She banished these thoughts and was soon enjoying her book and her solitude once again. But something was nagging her, pressing at the very back of her mind. She sat up straight and quickly studied her instruments. Nothing. ?What is it?? she asked herself, exasperated.

    ?I?m really sorry.?

    Perigillaim whirled around, her lightsaber already ignited. What greeted her made her immediately power down her weapon. Standing in the doorway of the cockpit was a very young boy. Fr
     
  2. Kim-kenobi

    Kim-kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 1999
    POST MORE POST MORE

    Kim B
     
  3. Norbooboo

    Norbooboo Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2000
    The Power of Water Prevails
    Part 2

    When they came out of hyperspace Perigilliam knew something was wrong. She knew not to center on her anxiety, though. It accomplished nothing. The boy continued to remain silent. he watched her intently as she worked the controls. She picked up her commlink and opened a line of communication to her Master.

    ?I?m glad you are here Padawan. Just in time I would say.? Qui-Gon Jinn?s voice crackled out of the commlink. She was relieved to hear it. She looked over at Obi-Wan and figured she had better tell her Master about him and get it over with.

    ?Master, I....?

    ? Perigilliam, things have not progressed here as I would have hoped. Both sides are entrenched. I have come to believe that a larger contingent of Jedi will be useful. However communications from the planet's surface have been unpredictable at best. I cannot contact the council. I have information I need you to get to Master Yoda and the council. Tell them that....? The transmission broke up.

    Although she tried over and over again, Perigilliam could not get through to either her Master or the jedi council. She centered herself and opened herself to all of the options. The two choices that kept coming back to her were to either head away from the planet and try to contact the council or land and get her Master?s input. Finally, she decided that while she was very worried about Qui-Gon, it would be more prudent to notify the council. She pulled out of orbit as far as she felt time would allow and tried again to contact the Jedi council. And yet again she failed. In frustration she headed back to Demetrus. She began to descend down to the planet?s surface. She would pick up her Master and they would get far enough from Demetrus to escape the damnable interference.

    After making all of the appropriate post flight checks, she opened the door and lowered the ramp. However nothing was as it should have been when she descended that ramp. Her Master was nowhere in sight. A large group of very nervous Demetrians was, however.

    ?We honestly did not expect them to go this far.? the woman who appeared to be in charge of the group said, wringing her hands forcefully. ?I don't even know how so many of them got into the hanger. We...we just aren?t as strong as them anymore I suppose and now they know it!?

    ?Calm down Foll.? Perigilliam did her best to calm the woman with both her words and with the force. She could sense waves of fear coming from all around her. What kind of place was this and, more importantly, where was Qui-Gon? ?Can you please tell me where Master Qui-Gon Jinn is??

    ?That is what I have been trying to tell you! They have taken him.?

    ?Who? Who took him?? worry was creeping up her spine like a spider up its thread.

    ?The Kell Si`Dar. About thirty of them. They overpowered him. When they were gone, we received a transmission. They will kill him unless the Republic completely withdraws its presence in this system and we, the Demetrian government, abdicate to a Kell Si`Dar appointed government. ?

    ?I must be allowed to find my master and you must contact the Jedi Council, as well as the Republic Senate and tell them what has happened. We must have more Jedi. this situation is out of hand.. I couldn?t make any communications contact from my ship or I would have already done so. ? Perigillaim was completely surprised at how calm and commanding her voice sounded. In her own mind she was fighting the know of fear that had settled at the base of her neck. She did not have a good feeling about this.

    ? That?s just the problem young jedi. A not to distant quasar periodically disturbs communications. We are at the height of the cycle right now. We will not have reliable communications for another two to three days. And those filthy terrorists know it. I don?t know what game they are playing at. They?ll be sorry....?

    ?Okay!? Perigilliam was intent on not being sucked into petty hatreds. If she was going to see her Master alive
     
  4. Norbooboo

    Norbooboo Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2000
    The Power of Water Prevails
    Part 3
    The Dememtrians acted as if finding Qui--Gon were their top priority. They fawned over Perigilliam, offering her all the resources of their planet. However they were completely unable to hide their true interests from her. Their hatred of the Kell Si?Dar filled every thought, every word, and every action. They would like nothing more than to see the terrorist group destroyed.
    Perigilliam wished she had more background of this planet. This had been her Master?s mission. She had been occupied with her required time working in the initiate dormitories and with the Council. All students had rotations working in the temple. This was to assure that all ran smoothly there. They were a community unto themselves and therefore needed to take care of themselves. She just wished that she had made extra time to brief herself on her Master?s activities. ?Regret will get you nowhere,? she chastised herself. ?You are a jedi padawan and the fourth daughter of the house of Fi`anna, now start acting like it.?
    ?Thank you Fell Latour. I appreciate the knowledge you have shared with me.? she said aloud, though she could certainly have hoped for more information. No one seemed willing to explain what the Kell Si?Dar?s goals or beliefs were. They told her they were malcontents who did not understand that the government always acted in the best interest of the people. She had been on enough diplomatic missions to know a government line when she heard one. The young man nodded to her and then retreated as Foll Sheshtar approached.
    Foll Sheshtar was the woman who spoke to Perigilliam when she had first arrived. She was governor of the region of Demetrus that they found themselves. Demsar was apparently the largest land mass on the planet and had lead the unification of Demetrus 200 years prior. All of this history was swirling around in Perigilliam?s brain trying to find a home in her memory. She could feel overwhelming pride bordering on arrogance when anyone spoke of Demsar. She felt that this was important and stored that information away in her memory, as well.
    ?So I understand from my aides that you are ready to depart and have a question for me.? Foll Sheshtar said, obviously glad that she was on her way. The padawan just couldn?t figure out where the root of the happiness was. Was it because the Governor was anxious about Master Jinn?s safety or because she wanted to be rid of the apprentice jedi?
    ?Yes. My companion is much to young to join me. Can I be assured that he will be watched over here?? She caught Obi-Wan?s frightened look. She assumed that he was more frightened of being separated from the one person he knew on this planet, then of any danger they might encounter. Ofcourse, the child had no frame of reference to understand danger or fear even. Students at the temple were brought up in a loving and safe enviroment so that they could learn the nature of the force and the power it allowed them to wield without the extra weight of fear and anger. The dark side was too powerful to be faced before training was complete.
    ?No, no that is completely unacceptable.? Foll Sheshtar had placed her hands on her hips and had suddenly taken on an exasperated air.
    ?What?? was all Perigilliam could manage to say, after she was unable to interpret either the governor?s words, her manner, or even her emotions.
    ?I don?t mean to sound harsh young jedi, but we have gone out of our way to assist you already. We have many more important things to attend to other than baby-sitting! ? She softened her tone and added,? Besides, I do not think that the youngster will be safe here if the Kell Si?Dar find out about him.?
    Perigilliam took in the Governor and felt a soft stirring of anger in her gut. ?That?s all right, Governor, now that I think of it, it will be better to have Obi-Wan with me. He is very mature and skilled. He is a jedi.? She placed her hand on Obi-Wan?s shoulder. ?Come Obi-Wan, we can?t waste anymore time.?
    Side by side they walked towards the Eastern Quarter, where she had been told the Kell Si?Dar strongh
     
  5. Norbooboo

    Norbooboo Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2000
    Well judging from the almost complete lack of feedback, I don't think that this story is going over very well, but you know what I am just sick enough to keep posting it. Does that make me a sadist or a masochist? Well here goes anyway.

    << The Power of Water Prevails
    Part 4

    Perigilliam slowly became aware of something soft and familiar under her
    head and cheek. Her head was swimming, so she didn?t move. She just enjoyed
    the softness of the material, the familiarity of it, the smell of it.
    Suddenly, it hit her. Her master?s cloak, it was her master?s cloak! She
    shot up into an upright position and then immediately regretted it.

    ?It?s all right, Padawan I?m here.? Qui-Gon Jinn gently put his hands on
    her shoulders, easing her back down. ?But may I suggest you take a moment
    to
    center and assess. That was a very nasty knock to the head.?

    She had no problem complying. She focused the force on her own body,
    healing what could be healed, accepting that which could not be. Her head
    stopped spinning and the pain that remained was easy to manage and even
    forget. Her hand strayed to her waist. Her lightsaber was gone!

    ?Is she going to be all right, Master Qui-Gon, sir?? Perigilliam heard a
    familiar voice ask, as she returned from her meditation.

    ?Yes Obi-Wan. I?m fine,? She answered, as she slowly sat up. Now that
    everything had stopped lurching and spinning, she could clearly see her
    surroundings. They were in a five foot by seven foot room hewn from solid
    rock. The door was wood with no window. The light in the room came from a
    couple of flickering candles. All that could be heard was a constant
    dripping from all around. The air was humid and dank. ?And how are you??

    ?I?m fine,? the boy answered, hanging his head. She could make out a
    bruise, which had blossomed at the base of his skull. ?I?m sorry I let down
    my guard. It?s all my fault.?

    ?You did fine Obi-Wan.?

    ?Remember young initiate, those who choose to do evil will always wish
    to
    blame the consequences on others.? Perigilliam marveled that her master
    could turn even this dark and dire situation into an opportunity to teach
    and
    to learn. ?Whatever mistakes you may have made, were born of inexperience.
    It is the poor choices of others which have brought us here. And the force.
    Do not forget, little one, we are not always able to recognize the will of
    the force.?

    ?Yes, Master Qui-Gon, but does the force really want us to be here.?
    Obi-Wan looked concerned. ?Is it the will of the force that we...that
    we....?

    ?We are not to know if it is our time to join the force.? Qui-Gon said.
    He was not a man to mince words, but his kind-hearted smile kept Obi-Wan
    from
    being frightened. ?However, a jedi never accepts fate without fighting.
    While there is life there is always hope.? He now turned his attention to
    his
    Padawan. ?I am glad to find you safe Perigilliam.? He reached out and gave
    her hand a little squeeze. ?I understand from Obi-Wan that you were unable
    to
    contact the temple.?

    ?Yes, Master.? She felt she had let him down and realized she was
    averting her eyes from his in the same way Obi-Wan had from hers. She
    pulled
    her head up and looked into her Master?s eyes. She found only acceptance,
    no
    judgment. ?I should have gone further from Demetrus...?

    ?A choice can not be remade, Padawan. You made it based on your
    knowledge
    at the time. Now will make choices based on the knowledge that we have now.
    What are your impressions of the Demsar government??

    ?They are frightened of something. They are hiding something. They
    obviously care little for the people who live in the Eastern Quarter. I did
    not get to see much of the other areas, but my first impression of this
    place
    was that it was a slum.?

    ?Yes Padawan. A slum that I believe the government would like to see
    maintained. Both sides have lost sight of even wanting peace. These
    people,?
    he nodded his head towards the outer room. ?are oppressed and in need of
    help. I tried to make them see that we could help, but an
     
  6. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Well, this is getting interesting! Except for the fact that Obi-Wan is supposed to be 4-5 years old in this story, everything is perfectly believable and fascinating, and I am looking forward to reading more. But I suppose that children are always portrayed as being more advanced for their ages in science fiction stories, and Obi-Wan's adult behaviour could be explained by his Jedi upbringing. In real life, though, it's hard to imagine that a 5-year-old can get his tongue around words like "trustworthy" and "increase", let alone know when to use them. Just a personal gripe, here, but otherwise the story is very suspenseful, with good characterization, and an excellent underlying theme "the power of water". Keep writing, because I will definitely keep reading!
     
  7. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    I have been reading this on another site and would HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING!!!! I love Little Obi stories and can fully believe him acting far beyond his age due to his upbringing at the Jedi Temple, these are suppose to be extraordinary kids to make it there in the first place!!! Keep reading as this story only gets better!!!
     
  8. Norbooboo

    Norbooboo Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2000
    << The Power of Water Prevails
    Part 4

    Perigilliam slowly became aware of something soft and familiar under her
    head and cheek. Her head was swimming, so she didn?t move. She just enjoyed
    the softness of the material, the familiarity of it, the smell of it.
    Suddenly, it hit her. Her master?s cloak, it was her master?s cloak! She
    shot up into an upright position and then immediately regretted it.

    ?It?s all right, Padawan I?m here.? Qui-Gon Jinn gently put his hands on
    her shoulders, easing her back down. ?But may I suggest you take a moment
    to
    center and assess. That was a very nasty knock to the head.?

    She had no problem complying. She focused the force on her own body,
    healing what could be healed, accepting that which could not be. Her head
    stopped spinning and the pain that remained was easy to manage and even
    forget. Her hand strayed to her waist. Her lightsaber was gone!

    ?Is she going to be all right, Master Qui-Gon, sir?? Perigilliam heard a
    familiar voice ask, as she returned from her meditation.

    ?Yes Obi-Wan. I?m fine,? She answered, as she slowly sat up. Now that
    everything had stopped lurching and spinning, she could clearly see her
    surroundings. They were in a five foot by seven foot room hewn from solid
    rock. The door was wood with no window. The light in the room came from a
    couple of flickering candles. All that could be heard was a constant
    dripping from all around. The air was humid and dank. ?And how are you??

    ?I?m fine,? the boy answered, hanging his head. She could make out a
    bruise, which had blossomed at the base of his skull. ?I?m sorry I let down
    my guard. It?s all my fault.?

    ?You did fine Obi-Wan.?

    ?Remember young initiate, those who choose to do evil will always wish
    to
    blame the consequences on others.? Perigilliam marveled that her master
    could turn even this dark and dire situation into an opportunity to teach
    and
    to learn. ?Whatever mistakes you may have made, were born of inexperience.
    It is the poor choices of others which have brought us here. And the force.
    Do not forget, little one, we are not always able to recognize the will of
    the force.?

    ?Yes, Master Qui-Gon, but does the force really want us to be here.?
    Obi-Wan looked concerned. ?Is it the will of the force that we...that
    we....?

    ?We are not to know if it is our time to join the force.? Qui-Gon said.
    He was not a man to mince words, but his kind-hearted smile kept Obi-Wan
    from
    being frightened. ?However, a jedi never accepts fate without fighting.
    While there is life there is always hope.? He now turned his attention to
    his
    Padawan. ?I am glad to find you safe Perigilliam.? He reached out and gave
    her hand a little squeeze. ?I understand from Obi-Wan that you were unable
    to
    contact the temple.?

    ?Yes, Master.? She felt she had let him down and realized she was
    averting her eyes from his in the same way Obi-Wan had from hers. She
    pulled
    her head up and looked into her Master?s eyes. She found only acceptance,
    no
    judgment. ?I should have gone further from Demetrus...?

    ?A choice can not be remade, Padawan. You made it based on your
    knowledge
    at the time. Now will make choices based on the knowledge that we have now.
    What are your impressions of the Demsar government??

    ?They are frightened of something. They are hiding something. They
    obviously care little for the people who live in the Eastern Quarter. I did
    not get to see much of the other areas, but my first impression of this
    place
    was that it was a slum.?

    ?Yes Padawan. A slum that I believe the government would like to see
    maintained. Both sides have lost sight of even wanting peace. These
    people,?
    he nodded his head towards the outer room. ?are oppressed and in need of
    help. I tried to make them see that we could help, but anger has a grip on
    their hearts. They truly believe that violence is the only way.?

    ?Fell Sheshtar told me that they were holding you until the Republic
    withdraws all presence in this system.?

    ?I?m afraid I do not think that is the
     
  9. JSkywalker

    JSkywalker Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2000
    Interesting story! Poor Obi-Wan only 5 years old and is already getting tortured! Please continue, hopefully the Jedi will get out of this situation soon.

    Jess
     
  10. HealerLeona

    HealerLeona Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2000
    As much as we all enjoy a good Obi-torture, being only five makes it a bit uncomfortable to read.
    Other than that small indiscretion I find your story quite intriguing.
     
  11. Norbooboo

    Norbooboo Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2000
    I am sorry to have offended with Obi-Wan's age!! The last I want to do is to make feel uncomfortable. I really mean that, if anyone is truly too offended I will delete this thread. Feel free to send a personal email if you have problems. Until then I will keep posting if that is alright. Also sorry to double posting part 4...I have a mind like a steel sieve.

    The Power of Water Prevails
    Part 6

    The twin sun of Demetrus had set and the temperature had dropped. They were running out of time. They had been going as fast as their precious burden would allow, in the direction the force told them was the Demsar Spaceport. Qui-Gon knew that the medical center was very close to the spaceport. However they had no idea how far it was or how hotly they were being pursued by the Kell Si?Dar.

    ?Master?? Perigilliam?s voice broke into his thoughts. ?Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!? She had kneeled down and was looking desperately into the boy?s face. Qui-Gon joined her. He looked at the boy and understood her alarm. His small lips were blue and his face was pale. He put his hand on the boy?s chest and reached inward with the force. He cringed as he felt the child slipping away. The breaths were shallow and each one gained with great effort. As he reached further in, he felt with a shock as the tiny heart stopped pumping. He wouldn?t let this happen. Looking inward he could see that a broken rib had collapsed one of the boy?s lungs. The weight of the lung and the rib was in effect smothering the heart muscle. Wasting no time Qui-Gon gathered the force around him and reached into the boy?s body with it. He pulled the rib back into its proper place and when he felt the small heart begin to pump again he knit the bone together as best as he could.

    Perigilliam had sensed her master?s work and had focused her force energies on him. She knew when he was successful and allowed herself to ease back to reality. She and Qui-Gon took a deep breath in unison as they watched the child?s cheeks pink up.

    ?We must find shelter and transportation to the medical center. Come Padawan.?

    ?Yes, Master.?

    Qui-Gon gingerly lifted Obi-Wan onto his shoulder and began going from home to home. Each time they were met with fearful looks and slammed doors. It did not take long for Perigilliam?s patience to dry up. What surprised her was that the same seemed to be true of her master. He had just knocked on the door of the fourth house. An elderly woman opened the door.

    ?I?m sorry to disturb you Fell, but I need your help. We...? The demetrian woman?s eyes widened in alarm as she moved to slam the door. Qui-Gon had had enough, however. He placed his boot in the door preventing the door from closing. ?You have to know that by closing that door you may be condemning this child to death!?

    The woman was still afraid, but she looked at Obi-Wan. The child?s face was pale and drawn, but somehow angelic. Perigilliam could feel the moment the woman?s heart banished the fear away.

    ?Yes, I?m sorry. come in.?

    Perigilliam grasped the woman?s hand. ?Thank you Fell.?

    ?He...Here by the fire,? said the old woman in a wavering voice, as she unrolled a quilted mattress on the floor in front of the modest fireplace.

    He set Obi-Wan down on his side, allowing the boy?s head to rest in Perigilliam?s lap. He began to tear away the ruined fabric of Obi-Wan?s tunic. ?We must get these cuts cleaned.?

    ?Come we will get some cloths and water,? said the woman beckoning Qui-Gon to come with her.

    Now that she had a moment to breathe and reflect, Perigilliam felt a hard lump of regret and self doubts grow in her stomach. Smoothing back the hair from Obi-Wan?s forehead, she could not help seeing every mistake that she had made. ?I will never take a Padawan? she silently vowed. She would live a life in which she alone would have to pay for her mistakes. She felt dangerously close to losing control, but pulled herself together when the two others rejoined her.

    The three worked silently now. The
     
  12. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    I have been reading this, and it is very good. My sithing computer shut down yesterday when I tried to post a reply so I thought I'd put one up now.

    It is very good, if you changed Obi-wan's age from say five to nine it would be sl;ightly more believable, sorry I have to go with Jane Jinn here because I have four younger brothers and siisters under the age of seven and I know how they speak. Other then that....VERY GOOD

    Kithera
     
  13. Norbooboo

    Norbooboo Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2000
    I think that this will be the last post for this story. It isn't complete, but the fatal flaws (Yes I am sure it is fatal) make me want to move on (sniff sniff) Ofcourse my unwarranted pride makes me want to explain the age flaws. In my mind I thought of the things Obi-Wan while under distress as mantras memorized and chanted for meditative purposes. Also I'm a mom of three kids and when my oldest was four she could go from saying "More pasghetti, pease" one minute to saying "Mommy a duck-billed Playtapus is a monotreme" the next. (She knid of has a thing for animals and the duck-billed playtapus is one her favourites) Okay I need to shut up now!! Sorry!!! So anyway here is the last post of this story incomplete, but put out of its misery.
    the power of water prevails part 7

    Perigilliam and Qui-Gon alternated resting and performing healing trances with Obi-Wan. As the first of Demetrus? suns began to rise, so did Perigilliam. The padawan learner stretched her stiff muscles, then tried and failed to stifle a rather loud yawn. Obi-Wan had made it through the night without succumbing to infection. She looked down at the boy, who was sleeping soundly before the fire they had kept going throughout the night.
    The sight of the child so sweat and so vulnerable filled her heart with dread. How could she ever allow herself to become close to him; to anyone; when the price to be paid for the closeness was so high? She leaned down next to Obi-Wan and began smoothing his hair away from his face. She found herself having to fight the urge to gather him up in her arms.

    Qui-Gon awoke with various aches and pains nagging him. He also was immediately aware that his padawan was in turmoil. He watched her intently as she kneeled beside the child. He knew that her agitation had little to do with Obi-Wan?s immediate physical condition, for the boy was doing well (If he was truthful better than he would be doing were their positions reversed). He knew this would have to wait. What was important now was getting to a medical center: getting out of the Eastern Quarter.

    Both Perigilliam and Qui-Gon looked up when their hostess entered the room. She was carrying a bundle of clothes in her arms.

    ?These should fit him.? She lay the clothes down and turned to go. Qui-Gon walked to her and placed a gently restraining hand on her shoulder.

    ?We have not properly introduced ourselves or given you our thanks.? He could feel her relax under his touch, but there was an undercurrent of sadness that was threatening to overwhelm her. ?I am Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and this is my Padawan Perigilliam san Fi`anna. And this? he said nodding to the boy ?is Obi-Wan Kenobi, a jedi initiate and a very unplanned addition to our mission.?

    ?I am Olema Jalin.? she asked, moving to kneel next to Obi-Wan. ?How is he??

    ?He is very will, I think, that we have avoided infection, thanks to you. We owe you his life Fell Jalin.? Perigilliam locked eyes with the Demetrian woman.

    ?Loving a child brings with it great fear. Fear that you will lose them, fear that you will you fail them.? She paused as she unfolded the clothes to measure them against the sleeping child. She ran her fingers against the fabric and closed her eyes. ?My Torel would have been about your age now, but instead he was taken from me when he was only as old as this one here? She paused in her story again to smooth Obi-Wan?s hair.

    Qui-Gon was pleased that his Padawan seemed to understand that Fell Jalin needed to tell her story and needed to do so only at her own pace. She was bestowing a gift on the young woman and it was apparent that Perigilliam knew it.

    ?The police suspected my husband of being a member of the Kell Si Dar. They raided our home. I tried to get to get to Torel, but I could not make my legs move fast enough. His eyes....he looked at me, smiled and then he was gone. And then everything was gone. This child, who amazed me, refreshed me, inspired me every day, was gone. This baby, born of my body, fed of
     
  14. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Never mind about Obi-Wan's age. Just keep posting! This is really good, heartwarming stuff, with a generous dollop of suspense that makes me want more. MORE!
     
  15. JSkywalker

    JSkywalker Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2000
    I agree with Jane Jinn. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that you should delete your story! Keep on posting! This is getting good!

    Jess
     
  16. HealerLeona

    HealerLeona Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2000
    I certainly didn't mean to discourage you from your storyNorbooboo-Please continue it as I'm reading every post.
     
  17. Norbooboo

    Norbooboo Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2000
    First of all thank you for your encouragement All of your prior observations were right on the money! I think that I will keep posting as long as there is someone out there to read. I actually only have one more part written and with three little munchkins running around it gets hard to find time to write, so the story might languish anyway sorry!! You are all so nice!

    The Power of Water Prevails
    Part 8

    Jornay Nestar looked down at his hands, hands that had nearly beaten an innocent child to death. Maybe they had. He shuddered at the thought of the boy being dead. They were hands that would never be clean again.

    ?Please, please understand. We cannot live like this anymore. Our children know nothing, but hate and war. We have taught them nothing else. We have passed down none of the nobility of our forefathers; none of the peace they cherished.? He pleaded with the men and women who surrounded him.

    ?That nobility that peace is what allowed the Demsar to destroy us. How many children, innowcent Dar children, have suffered at their hands?? Mantour Belwar, the Kell Si Dar leader was seething as he spoke to the man, who was like a brother to him. ?And one offworld runt spouts Jedi ramblings at you and you want to forgive everyone. I thought I knew you better than that. I thought you were dedicated to this cause, to the Dar people, to me!?

    ? I am. I am dedicated to all of that and more. I am dedicated to freedom. I am dedicated to the memory of my sweet Amyeel and our baby, whom I won?t see again until the Gods take me from this world! But I won?t be dedicated to revenge anymore.? Jornay was practically in tears now. Tears that had not been shed when his wife and baby had been cut down mercilessly in front of his eyes. ?If Amyeel had witnessed my actions yesterday she would have been ashamed of me. she would have taken the boy in her arms and given him comfort not pain. And as soon as I realized that I was not honouring her, I knew that I was done. There has to be another way.? He held his hands out to Mantour, palms up, imploring him to see.

    ?No Jornay. There has never been another way. The Demsar see the Dar only as bugs to be crushed. The only chance we have is to sting them before they can crush us.? Mantour was mere inches from Jornay?s nose. ?If you no longer have a stomach for the work that must be done, go. Go and bother us no more. I give yuou this chance
    Because of your loyalty for so many years. Mark my words though. If you cross us in any way I will destroy you!?

    There was nothing left to say. Jornay looked down at his hands again. He turned on his heels and fled from all he had known for the past fifteen years. there was only one place on the entire forsaken planet where he would feel welcome now. It was not a long walk to lthe huge Eastern Quarter cemetary. Each year the cemetary seemed to overtake anothyer acre of land. ?Thje dead willl be all that?s left of this place,? he though to himself. He weaved his way through the cemetary, trying to hold back the shiver at the immensity of it all. He came to the cairns he himself had built for his wife and daughter to mark their graves, and sank to his knees.

    ?Oh Amyeel, what have I become?? he wailed. ?Dearest you would be so ashamed of me. I only wish I could join you now, but somehow I must find a way to make things right first.? He laid down between the cairns and the sleep that had been elusive finally crept up on him.

    He awoke to voices close to him in heated argument. Without lifting his head he could see two men only two rows beyond him. He recognized one of them to be a man he only knew as Gullsar; Mantour?s closest advisor. What kept him stark still on the ground was the other man. He was the head of the government ?police?. It was his job to keep the Dar in their place. He was the sworn enemy of the Kell Si Dar and here he was with one of the Kell Si Dar?s top people.

    ?I want you to find them!?
     
  18. Hiroko01

    Hiroko01 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 1998
    AAAAH!! Where's my Yoda icon? ...whew... ok, there 'e is...

    I like this story! The 5-year-old thing doesn't really bother me, but then again I've never been too big on Obi-torture and it looked like a plain old plot/character device to me. How to say this, ahm...

    There is more to a story than Obi-Torture, people!

    Scourging a five-year-old child is a sick and dastardly thing to do, but guess what? People do sick and dastardly things in war! What I saw in that was not a show for the readers' titillation but a realistic and very well-executed depiction of what may actually go on on a Jedi mission. (They wouldn't send the SWAT Team if it wasn't dangerous, would they? )

    Anyway, my opinion is that Norbooboo has done an excellent job of showing the characters' emotions. Perigilliam, Olema, and the Si'Dar's emotional processes and reactions are well-described and completely believable! I'm applauding over here.
     
  19. Kaylla Norn

    Kaylla Norn Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2000
    Sorry. Didn't mean to be preachy or anything. I was just sharing. Again I'm sorry.


    [This message has been edited by Kaylla Norn (edited 05-23-2000).]
     
  20. Wedge33

    Wedge33 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 18, 2000
    Okay, first let me say that I'm a huge fan of the fan films and am greatly anticipating films like PTH and Duality. BUT, doesn't seem like the production quality of these fan films is sky-rocketing? I mean, obviously they are getting better, but some films, like Knight Quest, are just going way beyond the realm of normal fan film and breaking into full-scale productions.

    Now I'm not saying this is bad. In fact, if I had the kind of resources that these filmmakers obviously do, I would probably be making films on that level as well. But it seems like films of these caliber are pushing the bar up so high for the quality of fan films that many people are being left behind. I'm not saying that high production value fan films shouldn't be made. I like to watch them, as most people do. And most of them are usually okay, though most of what we've got so far is just trailers.

    I guess I'm just stating my concern as a fan filmmaker who doesn't have any budget outside of what I make at a part-time job, and that's after the bills get paid. I assume I'm not the only one who has this concern. Perhaps I am, but I was just wondering if any of you other guys ever think about this?

    -Wedge33,
    writer/director: Shards of Power
    producer: Highlander Ascension
     
  21. Flamberge

    Flamberge Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 17, 2000
    I see your point, however I read someone's post from here saying that most of the fans here are pretty easy to please. I personally like any fan film (so far) so long as it has some shred of a script, semi-believable costumes (no t-shirts, except PA Wars), etc etc. While the bigger productions are nice and fun, my fan film will be more like what you describe. Small, small, small. But it will have a storyline, and I will get to dress up like a jedi and wave a PVC pipe around that glows in postproduction, and show all my friends my "special effects prowess" (hehe.) So go for it, no matter what you turn out, even if TFN doesn't host it, give us the URL, and I will go check it out myself. And good luck.
     
  22. Nathan PTH

    Nathan PTH Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 11, 2000
    Okay, I guess as one of those people who are at the forefront of this "huge production" movement, I should take a stab at addressing your concerns and our reasons for pushing the envelope.

    Fan films are like anything else. They grow with technology. One need only look at the sheer number of fan films online these days to see how the Internet and the lowering cost of video capture cards have given the fan film genre a jumpstart. With the technology that comes as time passes, generations also grow. The generation now making fan films, is, for the most part, made up of people who spent at least half of their lives around computers in some way or another. I'm 20 myself, and I'm more confident and skilled in using a computer than I am at, say, working a car stereo. We're a generation born into technology and clinging to computers like a longtime friend, not some kind of startling, scary new technology. In that sense, you've got to expect fan film production scope to grow over time. To think otherwise would be to assume that that one small facet of society, fan films, would freeze in time while the rest of society moved on without it.

    Now, I'm far from putting the blame on just technology. Fan film makers are also having to make conscious decisions to move things forward, but it isn't the kind of malicious "kill the little guys!" mentality that propels us forward, but a sense of excitement over what is now possible. Fan films have always been "work within your means" productions, but today the means have grown by leaps and bounds for many people. The principle hasn't changed, just the scope, and with it, people who would have been ambitiously using the best at their disposal--Hi-Fi VCRs, camcorders, etc.--a few years ago, are now doing the exact same ambitious work, but substituting the new tools of the trade. It's the same "it's there, so let's use it" mindset that existed for years, but what's there is far more "powerful" in terms of film-making power.

    That accounts for a lot of the newer films. A prime example of this is "Maru," which was specifically created to show what can be done with what is, in present standards, a relatively simple setup.

    The trouble with films like "Maru" (okay, that sounded bad, but you know what I mean) is that if the general "look what we can do within our means" films are growing as sophisticated and visually beyond what they would've been years ago, then the more ambitious films of today have to, by default, push the limits beyond what is in the average fan film's means. It's the same as Troops did way back when. There's no way that you can argue that *no one* had made their own fan films at home before Troops was released. But what separated Troops from the other films was its scope of what was within Rubio's means. That is what we are doing with the more ambitious projects today, working within means that just happen to be greater than the average means.

    That being said, the people at the forefront of any endeavor will begin trying to push the limits to be the best of the best. As this happens, it's natural for perceived competition (even friendly competition, like in fan films) to spur film-makers to keep one step ahead of the game. This inevitibly "raises the bar" for fan films, but there is more than one way to interpret that phrase. We are *not* meaning to raise the bar in the sense that all fan films must be the calibur of PTH, KQ, or TDR in order to be good or worth seeing. That would be creating a "quality floor," as it were. Instead, what we're trying to do when we "raise the bar" is to eliminate the "quality ceiling" that has been around for so long. For years, people thought that if it's gonna be a fan film, it can't be high-quality, by its very nature. It can't have an engaging story, great effects, and a well-directed body. We are "raising the bar" in order to eliminate that ceiling and push beyond it, not to show what fan films *have* to be, but to show what they *can* be.

    The creators of PTH, KQ, TDR, and other films have raised the bar of what people
     
  23. Azeem

    Azeem TFN Staff, Manager Emeritus star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 12, 1999
    One thing you can say about the PTH guys, they can type long messages.

    J/K Nathan

    Azeem
     
  24. Semaj Ovured

    Semaj Ovured Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 8, 2000
    I think this is an excellent topic because it causes us to consider our pocketbooks vs. our exuberance in paying tribute to the STAR WARS films with our own.

    I think if you devote a large part of your free time, make your costumes, use your home computer for effects and borrow stuff (unless you upgrade your computer to do the effects, that's cool) and essentially create your fan film on a shoestring, as I suspect most are, then you are doing something with a level head.

    However, if you are spending thousands that you cannot hope to recoup because the films are indeed a copyright issue, then perhaps you are taking it too far. Unless, you are a professional and are using it as a calling card to show producers what you can do. Then it's a win-win.
     
  25. Nathan PTH

    Nathan PTH Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 11, 2000
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Semaj Ovured:
    However, if you are spending thousands that you cannot hope to recoup because the films are indeed a copyright issue, then perhaps you are taking it too far. Unless, you are a professional and are using it as a calling card to show producers what you can do. Then it's a win-win.

    That's what we are doing with PTH over at Clear Concrete. We're going to be making Second Strike under a new R&D experimentation division of CCP and sort of consider it development costs. Then again, compared to PTH, I'm betting that 2S will be much longer and better, but only the same general costs, since we already have all the equipment.

    --Nathan Butler
    Co-Writer, PTH
    Writer, 2S
     
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