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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Parting the Veil - Order 66 Challenge reply

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi_Linewalker, Jun 8, 2005.

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  1. Jedi_Linewalker

    Jedi_Linewalker Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 1, 2005
    Title: Parting the Veil
    Author(s): Jedi Linewalker
    Timeframe: ROTS
    Characters: Various Jedi
    Genre: Vignette, angst, drama
    Keywords: Order 66
    Summary: Order 66 as viewed by one already passed
    Notes: This story is in response to the Order 66 challenge

    Parting the Veil

    In the name of the Force, what have I done? Jedi are dying all over the galaxy, being turned on by the very troops that serve and follow them in this insane war. Commanders of clone troops near and far are hearing the same order, ?Execute Order 66.?

    Those same troops, so loyal and fiercely devoted just moments ago to the Jedi, nod their heads and say, ?It will be done, my lord.? That moment marks the beginning of this nightmare in which my brothers and sisters are finding themselves, a nightmare I?m powerless to help them from. I can only part the veil.

    From here, as part of the living Force, I can see everything, all at once, in its masterful horror, and am unable to do anything about it, unable to warn anyone of the danger that is headed their way. One by one, the Jedi fall. Masters, Knights, padawans, death has no preference. It wraps its cold fingers around them all, patiently and relentlessly.

    Visions pass so quickly on this side of the veil. I can be almost literally everywhere, all at once, I have but to will my consciousness there, and I?m there. The trade off for such a power is amazing, however. I can be here, but I can affect nothing. I can only usher in my brothers and sisters of the Jedi Order that fall in combat to this madman?s directive, and try to assuage their souls, and teach them the secret.

    The pain of so many dying strikes poor Master Yoda so hard. I know his pain is great, for I feel it too. His small, green body stumbles almost helplessly along the floor of the watchtower on Kashyyyk, accompanied by the two large Wookiees, yet he remains in control. He knows that bad times are coming quickly.

    Summoning up every erg of energy I have to me, I focus my mind on one thing: communication. I channel that energy through me, drawing from the vastness of the Force, and whisper in his ear, ?Beware, my Master. Treachery is close at hand. Your turn is quickly approaching.?

    Did he hear me? I don?t know. If so, will he heed my warning? I honestly can?t say. I just know that I can feel so much pain, so much agony, that the very Force itself shimmers with the sorrow. The waves that flow through the all encompassing, living Force flow through me as well, for the Force and I are now one. I am but a small part of it.

    A sharp pain draws me from Yoda?s side, suddenly. The Temple, at night. Troopers, marching on the Temple, in perfect formation, led by a cloaked and hooded figure. A Jedi? Who would dare perpetrate such a thing? Who would dare commit such atrocity in the very sanctity of the Temple? Though my mind knows the answer, and I?ve seen this day coming slowly but surely over the years, my heart screams out in disbelief and refusal to accept this.

    If I still lived, a tear would escape my eye. Regardless of how strongly my heart may shout, my eyes see the truth. I stand, unseen by the living, watching this horror unfold. Anakin. How in the name of the Force did I fail you? How could you fall under Obi-Wan?s wise guidance? You are the Chosen One, the one that will bring balance to the Force, and restore the natural order of things. It is said you?ll destroy the Sith?not become one of them.

    I?ve watched you grow from boyhood, never seen, but always there. I?ve watched Obi-Wan, who I see as my son, train you, teach you, guide you towards the light, towards the good. I?ve watched Master Yoda, and others, help Obi-Wan guide you, and lead you through the trials of your life, and this is where you find yourself?

    The sounds of the blasters are deafening as the troopers are now moving through the Temple, eradicating what Jedi they find. Where are you going? Anakin, Anakin, no! You mustn?t! For the love of life and the Force, please no! My hands c
     
  2. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Wonderful perspective, especially for the younglings part.
     
  3. Jedi_Linewalker

    Jedi_Linewalker Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 1, 2005
    Thank you very much, Ishy This was a stretch, somewhat, in a new direction for writing for me. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I respect your opinion highly
     
  4. AngelQueen

    AngelQueen Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2001
    *wipes away a tear* JL, that was beautiful! Qui-Gon's anguish was so heartfelt! Having to watch the destruction of the Jedi at the hands of a twisted version of a young man he loved so much... I cannot even imagine such agony... :_| Excellent response to the challenge!

    AQ
     
  5. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Awww, thanks.
     
  6. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 1999
    I loved seeing Order 66 from Qui-Gon's point of view. Wonderful yet heartbreaking at the same time.

    Incredible JL!
     
  7. Jedi_Linewalker

    Jedi_Linewalker Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 1, 2005
    Thank you very very much, AngelQueen and Mouse I'm very pleased you enjoyed it!

    Ishy you're very welcome, but truth is truth. *smiles*
     
  8. LadyPadme

    LadyPadme Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2002

    Lovely vignette, Jedi_Linewalker. And I love how it was done from Qui-Gon's POV! Of course he would feel the failure and the pain but at least he can also see from the Skywalker children a glimmering of the future.

    Very nice! =D=
     
  9. Jedi_Linewalker

    Jedi_Linewalker Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 1, 2005
    Thank you very much, LadyPadme It was an unusual idea that struck, and I thought I'd write it down. Glad you liked it
     
  10. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Outstanding!! So much to love here. You captured Qui-Gon perfectly, his sense of guilt and yet the hope in Anakin's tears that the child he knew was still in there. Awesome POV!!
     
  11. Jedi_Linewalker

    Jedi_Linewalker Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 1, 2005
    Healer Leona Outstanding!! So much to love here. You captured Qui-Gon perfectly, his sense of guilt and yet the hope in Anakin's tears that the child he knew was still in there. Awesome POV!!

    Thank you very much for the high praise. Qui-Gon appears to be one of the harder characters for people to characterize, and do so within reasonable limits. I'm very grateful that you enjoyed mine. There is the light of hope in the bleakest of nights, and that was sort of what was going through my head here. Again, thank you!
     
  12. _JM_

    _JM_ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2001
    A terrible combination of knowledge and helplessness. Poor Qui-Gon having to watch and feel the slaughter, and to know that the selfless boy he had known had been twisted to become part of this. Qui-Gon?s thoughts on how shining a future had become so corrupted were very sad, and Qui-Gon (unlike Vader) didn?t even have the release of tears.

    I liked that Luke and Leia felt Qui-Gon?s ghostly presence.

    At least it is some consolation that the Jedi had Qui-Gon to welcome them and help them with their transition. At least it is possibly some consolation to Qui-Gon that he could at least perform some service.

    I also liked Yoda?s reaction to Qui-Gon?s appearance and to Qui-Gon?s words.
     
  13. Jedi_Linewalker

    Jedi_Linewalker Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 1, 2005
    Thank you very much, _JM_ for your comments. I'm glad you enjoyed
     
  14. Jedi_Linewalker

    Jedi_Linewalker Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 1, 2005
  15. DarthPolymerase

    DarthPolymerase Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 22, 2005
    Ooo--I love the use of Qui-Gon's perspective--it gives the whole tone of Order 66 such a sense of desperate helplessness, which is amazingly sad. Great job!
     
  16. Jedi_Linewalker

    Jedi_Linewalker Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 1, 2005
    DarthPolymerase Ooo--I love the use of Qui-Gon's perspective--it gives the whole tone of Order 66 such a sense of desperate helplessness, which is amazingly sad. Great job!

    Thank you for reading. I love the Qui-Gon character and wish he'd had a bigger part in the movies, but the character, his feelings about things, and his position made this the most interesting story to tell. I'm glad you enjoyed
     
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