Excerpts From the Diary of a Handmaiden 3--Speaking Up--Rabe's Diary

Well, in honor of my 500th post , I've decided to start posting this now, rather than waiting for it to be done.
I've got it written almost up to the final battle in TPM, so it should be done soon. I will try to post daily, but what with midterms that might not always be possible.
Here goes:

Author: Rabé, Handmaiden to Queen Amidala of the Naboo
(edited and posted by princess-sari )
Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by George Lucas and Lucasfilm, Ltd. No money is being made off this story.
Editor's Note: If anyone is interested, the first part of this series can be found at:
http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=1780595
and there is link to the second part at the end of that thread. You don't need to read the Diaries of Saché and Yané to understand this Diary, but I thought I'd put the link there anyway.

Excerpts From the Diary of a Handmaiden 3--Speaking Up--Rabé's Diary
*****
We just returned from a session with the Council in the Throne Room. Midway through Padmé?s conversation with Senator Palpatine, the connection was cut off and Panaka thinks that this means the Trade Federation is finally invading Naboo.

I am so afraid, and so ashamed of feeling afraid.

I am supposed to be strong. I am one of the chosen bodyguards of the Queen. I have been trained to protect her and fight for her. How can I fear that which my whole existence is based on?

Well, if Yané read that, she?d probably laugh at me. But I can?t help it. I know that my existence is not just based on my being a Handmaiden, but it has changed my life so much that it sometimes feels that way.

Six months ago, I was a simple farmer?s daughter, with no greater ambition than to help my father figure out what had been getting into our longgrain crop.

Then, some of Panaka?s special forces arrived and took me away for testing and the next thing I knew, I became a member of an elite group of specially trained secret soldiers whose purpose in life is to protect the life of our fourteen-year-old Queen!

It wasn?t even my decision at first. It was father who saw the opportunities this would open for me and wanted me to take them. And it is true that I?ve learned more, seen more, done more in the last few months than I ever dreamed possible. But there are times when I long to be home again, just Maren Hilde?s daughter, who is a genius with plants.

Of course, it helps that I have come to love Padmé, both as our Queen and as a friend. Padmé, Sabé, Eirtaé, Yané, Saché?they have all become like sisters to me, even though we are still getting to know one another. Knowing that the Queen trusts me and relies on me is a responsibility that is weighty and frightening and wonderful all at the same time.

And Padmé does trust me?I sometimes think even more that Eirtaé or Sabé. I?m not sure why, though. Maybe it?s because I don?t talk a lot. And *that,* ironically, is mostly because of my accent. It marks me as different from the others and separates me. They never mention it, but I feel different when I speak and so I try not to talk a lot.

Wow, I?m really rambling on, aren?t I? I have to go now. I hope that Panaka is wrong when he says that the Trade Federation is probably invading us as we speak.

I fear he is right, though.
*****
More tomorrow!

 

Yea! Great start. You've really worked on giving each handmaiden her own personality. I like the background you've given her too. I look forward to more.

 

Yea! Very nice, princess-sari! I think Rabe' will be just as interesting as Sache' and Yane'. I loved hearing about her past and I can't wait to hear more about her adventures.

 

Woohoo! A new post. Been waiting for this one. Looking forward to more as and when

Jair

 

Hoorah! And the next chapter begins. Rabe sounds interesting. She is humble yet committed. Can't wait for more, Sari. Brilliant as usual.

 

In the words of Anakin Skywalker, Yipee!!! Rabé's diary is up!!! Great as usual princess-sari!

Here are my favorite lines:

How can I fear that which my whole existence is based on?
Well, if Yané read that, she?d probably laugh at me.

Heh, she very well might. She prefers a fight to sneaking around!


But I can?t help it. I know that my existence is not just based on my being a Handmaiden, but it has changed my life so much that it sometimes feels that way.

I love the character in that people. Knowing you are responsible for the Queen, but recognizing that it is not just that that makes you who you are.

I can't wait to see the next entry.

~*~Bria

 

Cinde and Marie--Glad you like Rabé! I had a hard time with her personality at first but then it just sort of started to flow. There will be some more background info as we go along.

Jairen--It's nice to know you were watching for this.
Sorry to everyone that it took so long to finally get started!

Rokangus-- Wow--thanks!
"Humble yet committed" is a good way to describe Rabé. She's pretty smart and observant, but she doesn't give herself a whole lot of credit for it. (When I first read your comments, my immediate thought was "She oughta be committed!" )

Bria--Glad you liked that part. When I first wrote it, I stopped with the "But I can't help it," but I wasn't really satisfied with that, so I added the last part. I figure it would be a real challenge to hold onto your identity when you spend all your time in the background shadowing someone with a very strong personality.

So--here's the next post:

*****
He was right.

I have never seen a more painful sight than Padmé?s face as she watched the droid army enter Theed. Her face only mirrored the thoughts and feelings we must all conceal.

Sabé is now wearing the makeup and gown of the Queen, while Padmé hides herself as one of us?her royal handmaidens, her dutiful bodyguards. None more dutiful than Sabé, who takes all the risks of being the Queen upon herself. If anyone tries to harm the Queen, it will be Sabé who will pay the price. Now Eirtaé and I must protect two people?Padmé and Sabé, the true Queen and the false one. I fear failure in this task now as much as I feared the invasion just a few hours ago.

We are now on the Royal Transport, hurtling through hyperspace toward some backwater planet called Tatooine. Yané and Saché are still on Naboo. I am so thankful that I was not left behind with those nasty Neimoidians and their horrible battle-droids.

Yep, I?d rather be where I am, on a spaceship that?s falling apart, on my way to a half-civilized planet that is ruled by the Hutts.

You are perfectly justified in wondering if I?m crazy.

At least we have the Jedi with us. And two very handsome Jedi at that. Not that whether or not they?re handsome has anything to do with how well they can do their job, but it?s a nice diversion to have such good-looking men to look at for a change. Sometimes spending ninety percent of your time with five other women can get a teensy bit tedious.

There?s a Gungan with the Jedi, too. He doesn?t appear to be a particular friend of theirs?I happened to notice the young one (sigh) locking him in the droid storage area?so I wonder exactly what he?s doing with them. All I picked up was something about being clumsy and banished, which seems a bit harsh to me. (Says the girl who once burned down an entire work shed by tripping over a power converter. {Long story. And I am *not* telling it now.} Let's just say that it?s a good thing I have such a forgiving father.)

Eirtaé is calling me?she needs help getting Sabé?s outfit ready, so?later!
*****

 

Fun! I love the comments on the Jedi. And Rabé's clumsy too, eh? heehee....

 

This is so great, princess_sari! And I'm already liking Rabe so much!! I love the way you've made all the handmaidens so distinctive in their personalties too! I've been waiting for the next entry in the Handmaiden Diary series. And, yes, I too loved Rabe's observations regarding the Jedi. And don't forget, the actress who plays Sabe is playing the title role in a Disney movie special called "The Princess of Thieves". Force.Net has an article up about it on the main site. Now we can see what she looks like when she's not made up as the Queen.

 

Very nice, Sari! I love the way you're providing such distinctive personalities for the girls who are sort of anonymous because of thier position as handmaidens. Of course, that is the point; if they're unnoticed they can do their job better. But it's still nice to have an idea of what could have been going on in their minds.

 

Another great entry princess-sari! As everyone else has said, I love that each handmaiden has a different personality. It makes them more real.

~*~Bria

 

I also loved the part about the Jedi the most. Keep it up Sari

 

I echo all the thoughts mentioned earlier. Great job. Not only are the personalities distinct, but realistic as well. As for the Jedi: Ewan and Liam...they got charms, what can you say?

Can't wait for s'more!

 

Oh, Sari, please forgive me! I hadn't realized this thread was up until now! Suffice it to say it was worth the wait (not that I want to wait).

OK, um, comments: You've got the same amazing writing style you exemplified in your other two diaries. I love it, I love it, I love it -- what more can I say? Well, actually, I just realized we don't know where she's recording this (not that it's important; just that the other two diaries started off like that and I'm greedily curious). I especially liked the comments on the Jedi being attractive, however -- not to say that there aren't any hot guys on Naboo (like Raiden!)...

Now... you will post more!

 

Great beginning Sari! I have to say I'm intrigued by the title.

I agree with the others, the differences in personality are done really well.

I look forward to more!

 

I had this whole post worked out, with responses for each of my wonderful readers, but when I went to post it, I got sent to the JC main board and my message was lost!

Which means that since I'm running out of time, I will have to make some general responses instead.

So--thank you to Cinde, MoonScribe, Marie, Bria, Arctic Wolf, Rokangus, Melne, and imzadi for your comments!!

For everyone who mentioned Rabe's comments on the Jedi--there will be more where that came from.

Glad you all seem to like the different personalities the handmaidens have. Sabe, BTW, is the one I have the most trouble connecting with, maybe 'cause she gets so much attention and I'm always looking out for the underdog. Thanks for mentioning that article, MoonScribe!

As for the title, imzadi, I had a hard time coming up with one that wasn't cliche or overused. This one at least fits the story pretty well. It will make more sense later on.

Melne, thanks for reminding me to mention about the diary. In the first two, what the hm was using to write on/in was important to understanding their personalities a little better. In this case, it doesn't really matter what Rabe is writing this in, but there is something special...I just decided to make you wait until the end to find out. MWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!! It will make more sense then.

Well, if I didn't get to respond to you by name, which I like to try to do, blame whatever it was that lost my message.

Onto the post:

*****
Well, we?re on Tatooine, and it is more desolate than I ever could have imagined. Sand and dirt and rocks as far as you can see, except where the city makes the slightest little smudge on the horizon. Padmé is even now walking toward that smudge, probably watching it grow larger, the buildings more distinct.

When she announced her desire to join the Jedi Master, whose name I now know is Qui-Gon Jinn, and the Gungan, Jar-Jar Binks, and the little droid, R2-D2, that saved us while we fled Naboo, I tried to talk her out of it.

We had retired into our chambers on the ship while the flight continued. When we came out of hyperspace and landed, Padmé went to find out what the Jedi were planning herself, while ?The Queen? continued resting privately. Padmé returned several moments later, furious at how the Jedi had condescended to her. I think having to live as we handmaidens do for even a few short hours has been enough for Padmé. She?s used to being listened to respectfully and obeyed.

In any case, she started changing into more practical clothes immediately and had Eirtaé get Panaka, the only one with us who knows about the whole Handmaiden Deception. She told him she was going with the Jedi to see that things were done properly and she wanted him to back her up.

Quite an argument ensued, with Panaka and I pointing out all the horrible things that could happen to Padmé in a place as uncivilized as this, Eirtaé saying nothing while she helped me braid Padmé?s hair, Sabé barely managing not to wail as she wondered how she would know what to do without Padmé, and Padmé herself ignoring us all. Of course Padmé won. She always does. She?s the Queen.

She gave us all quick hugs, whispering something to Sabé that was apparently meant to give her strength, and then she and Panaka hiked off across the burning sand to catch up to Master Jinn.

The younger Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi, stayed behind on the ship with us. And, No! I am not getting any ideas. It isn?t likely he would ever notice me anyways. And I have no intention of ever drawing attention to myself by speaking to him more than is absolutely necessary, either. Still, I can?t help feeling that we (meaning Sabé, Eirtaé, and I, who stayed behind) got the better end of *that* deal.

Listen to me, completely unprofessional. Panaka would order me to give him fifty pushups and a hundred sit-ups if he could hear me being so childish and immature. We aren?t supposed to think about such trivial things?we have a higher calling as the Protectors of the Queen.

It isn?t like I don?t agr

 

Oh, looking good.

I liked this:

Of course Padmé won. She always does. She?s the Queen.

And I agree with Rabe about the hms getting the better end of the deal staying on the ship with Obi-Wan.

~*~Bria

 

Very nice! "Purge myself of all unworthy thoughts and feelings so that when I have to act mature and handmaidenly, I can."

LOLOLOL. Very nice, I think this one is turning out to be my favorite so far.

 

Hehe, I loved all that stuff about Panaka thinking Rabé's fantasies were immature. It's cute. I wonder what's going to happen now that Padmé's gone? I bet there's going to be some genuinely memorable scenes -- and I hope somehow, Rabé will confront her fear and talk to Obi-Wan! I think Rabé is afraid of talking too much because she has that accent in TPM... I can't remember what I've read about her except that she does the hairdos. I guess I can be a good handmaiden-wannabe and be patient.

BTW, I think I've figured out her diary medium

 

Just gets better and better, doesn't it?! Sari, you continually improve on each of these diaries, so much so that I'm scared how good the rest will be

I loved this:

"I think having to live as we handmaidens do for even a few short hours has been enough for Padmé. She?s used to being listened to respectfully and obeyed."

It really showed the same understanding of Padmé as we all get when she pouted after Qui-Gon told her to trust him because the "Queen" trusted him. Great.

Keep up the great work, eagerly awaiting more. (And I promise to post something on mine for you to read soon, honest

Jair

 

"I like the parts of me that are still normal"

I wonder of any parts of *me* are still normal?

I love this series - we know so little about the handmaidens. It's nice to see something on them.

 

Hmm.. stuck on a ship with Obi.. Yep, that's DEFINATELY the better end!

mORE!

 

I wonder how much the handmaidens will worry about "Padme'" while she's gone. I liked the little glimpses of the other two handmaidens as well as the information about the queen that we saw in that last post. I'm also interested to see whether or not Rabe' ever gets up the courage to talk to Obi Wan!

 

More please!! Up!!

 

Great post Sari! Again the insights into her personality and well as her thoughts on the others and the Queen are really interesting.

Have you ever thought of writing these into stories?