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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

The IRS comes to Coruscant (aka. The Revenge of the Healers - a JA fanfic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jedi_Daphne, May 1, 2000.

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  1. Jedi_Daphne

    Jedi_Daphne Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2000
    Lurking I have been. Posting my first story I am. Forgive me you will for stealing characters. (Please?) Forgive me you will for having no beta reader as well. Enjoy the Obi-torture you will. Finished this story is. More posted when comments there are. Understand you do? You post. I post.
    -----------------------------------------

    An-Paj paced the floor of the healers. If only Master Yoda didn't insist on each department within the Temple going through this pointless bit of accounting. Signing, he realized that it would be so bad except... Sith. If Jinn and Kenobi could stay out of trouble for 5 seconds the books might accually balance for once.

    Turning to Master Yoda and the Sith of an accountant sitting next to him he wondered how to convince the little green troll and that sniveling darksided bureacrat that that particular Master and Padawan pair were the source of all his trouble.

    Suddenly it came to him. Whether inspired out of revenge - surely not, that was of the darkside - or merely the spicy bantha roast his 4th wife had prepared for dinner last night he would never know. Sitting down he shared his plan.

    "Work this will. Evidence of your claims we need. Provide it this does," Yoda replied.

    The accountant, who reminded him more of a Hutt every minute, nodded in ageement.

    As they turned and left An-Paj couldn't help himself. //This may prove my point, but the blackmail makes it even more worthwhile.//

    Yoda turned and shook his gimer stick at the master healer. //Share this blackmail you will.// "Hmph."

    As the door closed, An-Paj allowed himself a guilty smile as he called the padawan healers into the room. 'Surely it can't be that sithly if Master Yoda agrees.'

    On the other side of the Temple Obi-Wan shook off a nightmare with the logic that nothing that bad could happen in the Temple.
     
  2. padawan lunetta

    padawan lunetta Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 15, 1999
    Great start Jedi Daphne!
     
  3. K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku

    K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 18, 2000
    Great start! Accounting always makes me grumpy too. What's next?
     
  4. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Very intriguing in a Sithly sort of way. Now come on, where's more?
     
  5. Jedi_Daphne

    Jedi_Daphne Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2000
    Here's the next short bit.
    --------------------------


    "But An-Paj! That's unethical!"

    Glaring at the apprentice healers An-Paj repeated himself. "Now look. If we want resources, we're going to have to prove that they're needed. Go out and follow Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi. I want a record of every trip to the healer they make for the next few days."

    "But what if they're sent off-planet?"

    Gazing at the four disbelieving faces, An-Paj smiled. "Oh, there's a snowball's chance on Tatoinne they'll have a mission. Master Yoda gave us permission."

    Leaning in closer, An-Paj whispered conspiratorally. "And if they have an untypically safe and painfree few days... make sure they get here anyways."

    Ignoring the gasping youngsters, An-Paj reminded himself that this was for a good cause. You can't treat patients if they won't give you resources. And those two use up alot of resources.

    "Now go. You can catch them at breakfast if you hurry."
     
  6. Jedi_Daphne

    Jedi_Daphne Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2000
    Alright. It's pretty late here, so I am going to bed. If there are some replies tomorrow (feed my ego and let me know people are reading), there will be a long post... chock full of things like... OBI-TORTURE... QUI-TORTURE... and... well, do I need anything else to get you attention.
     
  7. HealerLeona

    HealerLeona Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2000
    Great idea for a story Jedi_Daphne- it'd be a shame if Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had to start paying for all their trips to the infirmary.

    Now I see where the annual charity drive comes in handy.
     
  8. Rani Veko

    Rani Veko Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2000
    It was the "Revenge of the Healers" that got my attention right off. Nice start, especially Obi-Wan's self-reassurance that "nothing bad could happen in the Temple". The Force certainly speaks to Obi-wan, and it keeps saying "duck!" Now if only he'd be mindful of his feelings.

    - Rani
     
  9. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    "And if they have an untypically safe and painfree few days...make sure they get here anyways."

    I love it! I can't wait! I'm drooling already in anticipation of Obi-Torture and Qui-Torture and An-Paj!
     
  10. Jedi Dejara

    Jedi Dejara Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 29, 2000
    This sounds promising...

    Very promising...

    [This message has been edited by Jedi Dejara (edited 05-01-2000).]
     
  11. Jedi_Daphne

    Jedi_Daphne Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2000
    "Padawan Giana, may I help you?"

    "Well, actually Healer Leona, I'm supposed to be checking the records on two patients and An-Paj said you might be of help."

    Leona studied the padawan briefly. 'Something's going on here.' The girl looked like a rancor was waiting for her. Even her wings were twitching. Putting on her most benign expression Leona asked which patients.

    "Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi, ma'am."

    Flinching lightly at the indignity of being called ma'am, Leona gestured towards a case of datapads.

    Surveying the case Giana noticed hundreds of datapads stacked into piles. "But which one has their information Healer Leona?"

    "All of them, dear. You are looking at the Jinn/Kenobi medical library."

    Giana groaned as she headed over do to a bit of research.

    **********************************

    Obi-Wan Kenobi awoke suddenly. Instantly awake and on his feet his fished around for his lightsaber before remembering where he was. //Master?//

    //I'm alright, Padawan. Just a little accident.//

    Venturing out into the kitchen, Obi-Wan saw his Master stooped over the sink, pouring water over his burned tunic sleeve. "Master, don't tell me you were trying to cook breakfast."

    If looks could kill, Qui-Gon thought he would be standing in front of the Council for padawancide. He didn't care.

    Obi-Wan ambled over. 'I shouldn't be this amused, should I?' "Master, perhaps you should go see the healer's. That does look rather painful."

    'So he thinks _I_ should go see the healers? I bet he'd like that. Why that little Sith. See if he gets any sympathy from me next time he... No, Jedi Master. Calm.

    "Of course Obi-Wan. Why don't you meet me at the dining hall for breakfast then?"

    Grabbing his cloak, Qui-Gon tried to regain a little dignity before the healer's took even more away.

    **************************************

    "This could be the easiest thing An-Paj has asked us to do yet," Padawan Hrothar exclaimed.

    His companion sighed. Obviously he didn't know the pair in question if he thought following them without being seen would be easy. However, Bant knew that the blackmail she would have on Obi-Wan would entitled her to quite a few victories in the Paddawan Days competition when she was done.

    Suddenly, Hrothar pulled her back into a crevice in the wall. Staring at Master Jinn heading for the healer's section of the Temple they both wondered 'How much trouble can he have gotton in before the sun's up?'


     
  12. Jedi_Daphne

    Jedi_Daphne Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2000
    I forget to say "Thanks to the famous Jane Jinn (Mistress of Obi-Torture) and Healer Leona for reading my story. Awwww, don't I feel special

    And now, here's a bit more before I go to work.

    -----------------------------

    Obi-Wan Kenobi ventured out of his quarters hesitantly. 'Force, why does it feel like I'm being watched.' Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, the 16 year old padawan tossed his braid over his shoulder and began to strut towards the dining hall. 'If I'm being watched, I'll give them something to watch.'

    Bant peered out from around the corner and began to film Obi-Wan swaying behind with her holocam.

    She caught every strut and sway on tape.... right up until the moment Obi-Wan tripped and went flying down the hall. And down three flights of stairs in the process.

    Looking up, Obi-Wan realized he was standing, no laying, just outside the door to the healer's. 'I think the force is trying to tell me something', he groaned.

    *****************************

    Padawan Miran glanced up from her datapad. //Both of them?//

    An-Paj smiled from where he was working. //Make sure you get all the material used recorded Padawan.//

    Glancing at Qui-Gon squirming in front of the master healer, Miran began to type.

    Jinn, Master
    3 bacta pads
    1 tube of burn cream
    2 shots of painkiller

    'Two? I thought Jedi Master's could control pain?'

    Eyeing Obi-Wan, she added...

    Kenobi, Padawan
    1 swab
    2 bacta patches - one per knee

    Wincing as Padawan Dimallie tripped over Obi-Wan's feet, she wrote.

    1 tray of syringes




    [This message has been edited by Jedi_Daphne (edited 05-01-2000).]
     
  13. Jedi_Daphne

    Jedi_Daphne Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2000
    The sithly server won't show my post!
     
  14. Norbooboo

    Norbooboo Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2000
    Thank you Thank you Thank you!!! I woke up this morning and read this thread. Starting off the week with a laugh is a good sign!!! Love the story!
     
  15. jodiwent

    jodiwent Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2000
    I go to all that trouble getting them depressed, and you go and make them laugh!

    I'm laughting too. I'll be laughing all day.

    Very good. Moe soon!
     
  16. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    LOL I love this story, so nice to be getting a laugh over my two favorite Jedi rather than worrying about how they are going to survive the latest round of torture. Also, love seeing the sithly side of An-Paj, he is the greatest. Working as an accountant I can certainly sympathize with being audited and having to justify everything you need.
     
  17. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 6, 2000
    Oh, this is too funny!
     
  18. Jedi_Daphne

    Jedi_Daphne Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2000
    An-Paj waved Bant and Hrothar out the door after the exiting Jedi. "And don't let them out of your site."

    Following at a discret distance Bant could not help but notice the aura of calm around them. Apparently, her scaley companion noticed as well. "You wouldn't know they had a suicidal streak by looking at them, now would you," Hrothgar remarked. Bant answered in the only way possible. She beaned him with the hilt of her lightsaber and kept on walking.

    "Now what did you do that for?"

    "Shhhhhhhhhhh."

    As Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon entered the dining all, their stalkers came close enough to over-here "I have a bad feeling about this, Master."
     
  19. Jedi_Daphne

    Jedi_Daphne Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2000
    I thought I would stick the next bit up during my coffee break. Hope you enjoy.

    ----------------------------

    Obi-Wan parted ways with his master as they entered the dining hall. Moving ever so cautiously across the room, he gathered his tray and sat with several other padawans. Bant gave up the chase and joined her friends for breakfast.

    Qui-Gon looked over his shoulder at the dull roar from the initiates and padawans and gave a small sigh of relief to be at a table alone with the other Masters.

    "Qui-Gon?"

    "Sorry Mace. Just thinking that I need to get away from the Temple a bit more. It's starting to wear on me."

    The Councillor eyed his friend's charred sleeve. "Something's wearing on you, but I don't think it's the Temple. You ever wonder if the Force doesn't have a grudge against you and Obi-Wan?"

    "Preposterous."

    "Have it your way. Since you're fed up with Temple life, how would you like to join a few of us for a night on the town?"

    Qui-Gon eyed his friend warily. Years of experience told him Mace was up to something. Even without that knowledge, the Force screamed at him 'don't do it Jinn.'

    "It's either come with us, or join Yoda for his weekly session of "Master's and Padawans". He thinks you and Obi-Wan need to work on your issues.

    Qui-Gon raised a single eyebrow at the prospect of going to therapy with his padawan. 'Issues indeed.'

    The rest of breakfast was spent working out the details of the "boy's night out".

    **********************************

    Padawan Giana stretched wearily from her spot beneath the stacks of datapads. "Sith, if I would have known this was just their records since they became a pair, I would never have volunteered for this."

    Glancing across the room, Giana was certain Healer Leona was smirking. Well, we'll just see about that. I'll prove to her I can do this. I can handle anything they throw at me. Activating the next series of records she began to read about what An-Paj had colorfully titled "The Silk Panty Incident". 'Hmmm, this should be interesting.'
     
  20. Jedi Erica Amidala

    Jedi Erica Amidala Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 1999
    I love it! Obi-Wan must have depleted the galaxys supply of bacta by now!
     
  21. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    The Silk Panty Incident? Interesting? You'd better be prepared to go into this in detail! Lots and lots of details!
     
  22. Jedi Erica Amidala

    Jedi Erica Amidala Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 1999
    "The Silk Pantie incedent..." Now, THIS sounds intersting!
     
  23. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    How right you are The Silk Panty Incident would very interesing
     
  24. Jedi_Daphne

    Jedi_Daphne Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2000
    The silk panty incident isn't explained 'til later. It's part of the reward for sticking with the story Yup, I am an evil little Sith sometimes.

    -------------------------------------

    Obi-Wan groaned softly. 'No, not Bruck.' It was definately too early in the morning for this. Sighing with relief, Obi-Wan noticed that Bruck made no effort to harrass him. 'Small gifts of the Force.' And then, she appeared. Obi-Wan would have reminded Jay Abram to close his mouth, but he was a Jedi and he would NOT act jealous. Standing so that Jemmiah could see where he was, Obi-Wan waved her over.

    Barely noticing Bruck's look of... intent? Obi-Wan sat back down. He looked up again in time to see Bruck kissing Jemmiah. Spewing water across the table, Obi-Wan decided that all this light-sidedness was for saps. 'I am going to kill that... that... son of a rancor. Walking over to the odd couple, Obi-Wan realized that Jemmiah looked, well, she looked like she was enjoying herself.

    "Sith. Could today get any worse?"

    "Master Jinn?"

    "Yes?"

    "Ah, well, I am terribly sorry to disturb your breakfast, but it seems one of the creche masters has come down with a bit of the Lichaem flu. I was hoping you would be so kind as to supervise one of the classes today."

    Qui-Gon surveyed Master Gerof. As head of the creche, he was renowed for his calm collected demeanor. 'So why then does he look like I'm about to hit him with force lightening?' "Of course I'd be willing to help. And which class would I be working with?"

    Master Gerof mummered quickly "the 2 to 4 year old" before dashing out the door in a dead run.

     
  25. Jedi_Daphne

    Jedi_Daphne Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2000
    Anyone out there? I know I know, patience isn't my best virtue, but I expected at least one reply after that. *pout*

    Alright. If I get some replies, the next part will be up when I get home from work. And I'm glad you're all laughing. I'm cracking up so badly proofreading that my co workers think I've lost it.

    [This message has been edited by Jedi_Daphne (edited 05-01-2000).]
     
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