I promise (aka Revenge, a sort of JA fanfic)

I am not completely sure about this one, but I hope you guys like it.
****************
The young woman snuck out of the shadows. She would finally get her revenge. It had been three months since her friend's death and his apprentice's kidnapping. She didn't want to think about it but she still could not block the memories of that awful day. It still felt like yesterday when she had seen him die and the kidnappers grabbed his sixteen-year-old apprentice. She had been searching for three months for him. Now she was close to her friend's murderer and she was going to keep her promise.
"I swear, I will revenge you both, Qui-gon and Obi-wan," she growled as she disappeared back into the night.
***************
So what do you think? Should I continue this?


[This message has been edited by Neon Star (edited 05-03-2000).]

 

I see potential...nice concept, I'll let you know more once I read more...hint--hint!!

 

Qui-Gon dead? How could you. Only Lucas himself was sith enough to do that.

So I guess I'll have to keep reading to find out exactly what happened.

Post often, post soon.

HL

 

HEH I know I am sith enough to do it. I am just following GL's example. Thank you, HealerLeona. My mother just read it and she thinks I am nuts for killing him off. Oh well. Thanks, Kid Jedi. Here is another part.
**************
The young woman sat down in the crumbling hotel room. She was meditating on what had brought her here. She still remembered Yoda's desperate plea.
She had gone to the council to inform them that she was going after the kidnappers to get Obi-won back and to bring Qui-gon's killers to justice.
"Do not do this." Windu had pleaded.
"I must," she had said.
"But the security and FBI are looking for the kidnappers and murders now. Please don't do this. You are a Jedi Knight and must not seek revenge."
"He was my friend and I will do as I please. I promised him I would find the criminals and I will."
"Nothing will change your mind?"
"Nothing."
She sat out side while the council disputed her decision. The council left and Windu and informed her that Yoda had wished to speak with her.
She walked back into the room. The old Jedi master was standing in the middle of the room.
"Yes?" she asked.
"Sure you are about this, are you?" he asked.
"Yes, I am."
"Grieving we all are. You mostly. Please stay and heal. No Jedi go out to seek revenge, they must not. To the darkside this leads.
"Then so be it. I promised him. They had no right to kill him and steal Obi-won."
"Wish I could stop you. But know I do that you are right."
"Thank you, does this mean I am allowed to leave?"
"Yes, this does."
She turned to leave.
"Be careful you will, young one. May the Force be with you."
"And with you, Master Yoda."
She walked out of the council room.
**************
A young figure chained to a wall whimpered. Where were they? He couldn't feel Qui-gon and that scared him. But if Qui-gon could not get him, where was Atrus? He hoped they were all right.
*****************
So how was that?


[This message has been edited by Neon Star (edited 05-04-2000).]

 

not bad, not bad...but I have to nit pick here. Obi is not Obi-won (with an O) but
Obi-Wan (with an A in "wan")

Okay...got that out of my system...I patiently await more....

 

Thanks for the comments. Here is the next part.
********************
The young woman continued to remember what had brought the death of her friend and his padawan's kidnapping.
Three months before...
"Qui!" she yelled to him as she walked up to him.
"Atrus! It's good to see you here. Did the council call you too?" Qui-gon asked.
Atrus gave him a kiss on the lips and hugged him, then said,? Yes, maybe we will get pared up again."
Qui-gon returned the kiss and hugged, then said, ?Not after that last one."
"It wasn't my fault that we got stuck in that garbage compactor. It was your padawan's idea. Speaking of him, where is Obi-wan?"
"He'll be here in a minute." Qui-gon said after he finished laughing.
Just as Qui-gon said this, the young man came walking down the hall.
"Hi, Obi!" Atrus said.
"Hi, Atrus. They call you too?"
"Yes."
The doors opened and one of the Jedi Knights motioned them in. They walked in and bowed before the Jedi Council.
"New mission we have for you. Very dangerous it is." Yoda said.
"It is in the Jeronlome system. There is a very unstable peace negations going on there as well as something strange. In certain areas in the mane city there has been many unnatural deaths,? Windu said, ? The cause is still unknown at this time. We are sending you three to make sure that the negations go through and find out the cause of these mysteries deaths. The rest of the information is on this disk."
"Thank you, Masters, we will do our best." Qui-gon said as he took the disk.
"May the Force be with you three." Windu said.
"And with you all." Atrus said as they left.
"And good luck, Force knows you?re going to need it." Windu whispered under his breath.
****************
So how was that?

 

Nice post, but I think I am the only one reading right now, or everyone else is lurking in the shadows....looking forward to more...

 

Hi! Just want to say I will post more soon. Besides how old is everybody that is reading this. I am just curious.

 

Here is the next part.
************
They had just gotten on the ship they were suppose to take and were now one their way to the planet Jeronlome three where their mission was suppose to take place. Obi-wan had gone to meditate. Atrus snuggled closer to Qui-gon as they watched hyperspace streak past them. He had his arm around her. She kissed him again and laid her head on his chest.
"Qui, what do you think is going on?" she asked.
"I don't know, love. But what ever it is. We'll find out," he said quietly as he kissed the top of her head.
"Do you think the council knows about us?"
"No, I think they suspect. Especially Yoda, since we have had this weird link between us."
"Well, we better keep it a secret then. Shouldn't we?" Atrus kidded.
Qui-gon laughed, and then said, "Yes, I think we better."
They continued to watch the view outside.
***********
I know it was short and mushy but I still hope you like it.

 

If you want to know I'am a 15 year old peson out in the far reaches of who knows where.

Excellent story by the way.

 

Hi, Just want to say that I will post soon, maybe tomorrow. I want to know what do you think of my character, Atrus? What do you like or dislike about her?

[This message has been edited by Neon Star (edited 05-10-2000).]

 

HI! Here is the next post.
****************
Obi-wan came in and saw that his Master and friend were snuggled close together sleeping.
"You know, if you don't want the council find out about you two, you better stop acting so affectionate with each other out in the open." Obi-wan commented.
Qui-gon woke up.
"Well, this is not exactly the open, Padawan, and we are keeping it down." he said as he woke Atrus.
"Lets get up, love." he said to her.
"Alright. How much longer till we reach the planet?" Atrus said as she got up.
"About six hours." Obi-wan said.
"Enough time for a lightsaber practice and meditation. Come on Obi" she said.
"Ok." Obi-wan said as they exited the cot pit and went into the recreation area.
They moved the furniture out of the way. Qui-gon stood by the door while the Atrus and Obi-wan went into a fighter?s stance. Atrus called her double blade lightsaber and turned it on, the blue purple blades appeared with a snap hiss. Obi-wan did the same with his lightsaber and they began. Atrus feinted a thrust with one of her blades, but flipped and drove the other close to Obi-wan's shoulder. Obi-wan felt it, turned around, and blocked it. He then thrust at her middle section. She spun and brought her blade up to block the second thrust to her head. She drove one to his legs, but he jumped and kicked. She blocked his leg with her arm and punched him in the stomach. The air went out of him in a whoosh and left her an opening. She tripped him and held her lighsaber at his neck.
"Had enough." she said.
"Yes." he said as she flipped off her lightsaber and helped him up.
"I will beat you one day, Atrus." Obi-wan said playfully.
"Yeah, that will be the day." Atrus replied with the same playfulness.
"Good job, Obi-wan." Qui-gon said as he walked over to them.
"How about a bout with me." he said to Atrus.
"Do you think you can take me on?" she kidded.
"Who knows? Lets find out."
Obi-wan walked over to the door and stood watching them. They went into fighter stances, brought out their lightsabers, and ignited them. They circled each other then attacked. Atrus drove for Qui-gon's chest with one of her blades. Qui-gon blocked it, but Atrus kicked him in the chest. He staggered a little then drove his lightsaber toward her neck. She barely blocked it and thrust her lightsaber at his legs. He flipped over her and drove his lightsaber to her back. She brought her arms above her head and blocked the blow, then spun around. They locked their lightsabers, trying to press them to the opponents. All of a sudden, Qui-gon leaned over and kissed Atrus in the lips. She was shocked for a few moments; Qui-gon tripped her and put his lightsaber to her throat.
"Had enough?" he asked.
"Yeah." she said.
He turned off his blade and bent down to help her up. She took his hand, pulled as hard as she could and tripped him with her legs. He went down. She got up.
"You don't play fare,? he said as he got up.
"Nether do you," she said over her shoulder as she made her way to the fresher.
*****************
I hope you like it.

 

Cute, very cute.

 

Here is the next part.
***************
A few hours later their ship landed. The three Jedi walked out of the ship and was greeted by a man with a speeder.
"Welcome, Jedi. The govenor wishes for you to join him at the captial building so that he may show you what we are up against." the man said.
"Thank you. But we will walk to the captial building." Qui-gon said.
"I am sorry sir, but the govenor has said that you must get there quickly before dark. Thats when the danger starts."
"Fine, lets get going." Qui-gon said then gestured Atrus and Obi-wan into the speeder then followed them.
They rode to the captial building. As soon as they arrived they were quickly ushered into the building and into a small room. There stood a small middle aged man.
"Greatings Jedi. Please have a sit." the govenor said.
"Thank you, govenor." Qui-gon said as they sat down.
"As you know, we have a peace conference going on at this time. Some people are against it, some are for it. But the peace talks are going well. But our main problem is that there has been many unexplained deaths in this capital city. The victioms have no marks on their bodies except these." the govenor said then switched on the the holoprojector.
The pictures that were desplayed there was of various strange bits on the necks. The marks were of two small holes.
Atrus gasped in recongsation and her hand imidtatly went to her neck where similar markings were on her neck.
Qui-gon seeing that his friend was remembering that dedfel night three years ago wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
The govenor contiued to speack.
**************
I hope you like it.

 

Wow, I just finish reading this story(to the most current post) and this is very good.

Please tell me that BOTH of them are still alive(somehow).

I hope the next post is not too far.

Kim B

 

Here is another post. We all now what is coming next, don't we?
*********************
Atrus, still remembered that dreadful night three years ago. She had been rushing through the mediation gardens on her way back to her apartment. It was mid-night and she had been at the council late. She heard a noise behind her and turned around, but there was nothing there. She continued down her path until she heard the noise. Then she quickened her pace. All of a sudden a mysterious creature grabbed her by the neck.
"You will make a lovely addition to our family." He hissed as he drove his fangs into her neck.
She screamed and heard footsteps behind her. Suddenly the creature screeched and flew off. She claspped to the ground. Strong arms lifted her.
"We better get you to the healers." Qui-gon said as they rushed to the healers.
The healers healed her but could not prevent her from becoming a half-vampire.
She didn?t have the urge for blood and she did not have to stay out of the sunlight. She got the strength and flying ability from the vampire.
Now she knew what they were up against. Vampires.
*******************************
I hope you like it.

 

Here is the next post!
****************
The governor finally finished explaining the situation to the three Jedi then had them escorted. On the way the governor looked at the occupied Atrus with concern.
"Is there something wrong?" he asked Qui-gon.
"No, she just contemplating on our mission." Qui-gon said.
Soon the governor left them. The apartment had three main rooms for sleeping in and to freshen up. There was a spaces living and dining room. It was furnished comfortable. But the three Jedi ignored this and sat down.
"Now we know what we are up against." Atrus said softly.
"You can go back to Corcscant. We'll take care of this." Qui-gon commented gently.
"No, I came here with you. Vampires or not I am going to finish this mission." she said determined.
"Are you absolutely sure. You could be in more danger then us." Obi-wan said.
"No, I am in less danger than you. The only one who can finished the job is the one who attacked me," she said.
"Then we need to find a way to draw them out and kill them off quickly, before they hurt anyone else." Obi-wan said.
"We might not have to kill them. If we get the main vampire, we might have a chance to restore the others. Though I doubt that it will work." Qui-gon said.
"The only things that can kill a vampire are sunlight and a stack through the heart. But I doubt we could draw them out willingly into the sunlit. Besides, from were the governor said that the deaths were, which is in sewers and dark areas." Atrus said.
Then we will have to think of a plan." Obi-wan said.
**************
I hope you like it.

 

Did everyone leave? OK, I hope your still reading. Here is the next post.
****************
That night the three Jedi went to bed. Outside a fierce storm was rising. Atrus lay awake in her bed. She felt his presence. She had felt him since they had landed here. She hadn't told Qui-gon or Obi-wan because they would force her to go. But now she was going to have to watch her step. Did he know she was here?"
****************
The silent dark figure lurked outside the windows. He had heard of the newcomers and had felt the weak presence of his almost victim. This time he would get her for sure. But there was also the other two to consider. The boy was vigorous and young with a lot spirit in him. The older one had wisdom and more strength to him with almost the same amount of spirit as the boy. He would just have to wait.
******************
I know it was short but I hope you like it.


[This message has been edited by Neon Star (edited 05-21-2000).]

 

Here is the next part.
*****************
The next morning Atrus was awakened by someone pulling her cover off.
"Time to get up. We have a big day today," the person said cheerfully.
"Go away you big lug or I will kill you." muttered Atrus as she grabbed the cover back and covered her self up.
"You have already slept later then you should. Besides its time for breakfast." he insisted as he pulled the cover off once more.
She tossed a pillow at him. It hit him right in the face. He just laughed then went to the side of her bed and picked her up.
"Put me down!" she shouted as he carried her into the dining room.
There was a bedraggled Obi-wan sitting slumped in one of the chairs. Qui-gon set Atrus down. She hit him in the arm.
He just laughed again and said, "You two are defiantly not morning people."
He then went into the kitchen.
"Good morning, Obi." Atrus grumbled.
"Good morning, I see he got you up like he got me." Obi-wan muttered tiredly.
"What are we having for breakfast?" Atrus asked.
"Qui-gon thought that since there isn't any cooks here that he should fix something."
"Then we better get out of here."
"You got that right."
They got out of their chairs and rushed to their bedrooms. Just then they both felt pillows hit them in the head and turned around. There stood Qui-gon with his arms crossed.
"Where were you two going?" he asked.
"To clean up." Atrus said.
"Yeah right. Come on back here, breakfast is almost done." he said as he walked back into the apartment.
"Man," grumbled Obi-wan as they went and sat back.
Soon Qui-gon came in with a plate. He set the plate down. It was one of his more frequent dishes.
"Is it poisonous?" Atrus asked.
"No, you know that." Qui-gon said giving her a fake dirty look.
"I didn't know Yoda was here." she and Obi-wan said then jumped out of their seats and ran.
Qui-gon rushed after them. They ran into Atrus bedroom and closed the door then ran into the closet.
Qui-gon came in. He knew where they were. He stretched out on both links and stared torturing them both. In a few minutes he heard a burst of laughter coming from the closet followed by another. He opened the closet door and looked at the Atrus and Obi-wan laughing on the floor.
"Quit!" Atrus gasped.
"Not until you both say it."
"NO!" she said then laughed again.
She stretched out with her link and did the same to him. In a few moments the Jedi Master was laughing on the floor with them.
"Atrus, STOP!" Qui-gon yelped as he tired to breath.
"Not until you stop!" she said.
"Not until you both say it."
"Fine, your cooking is the best in the galaxy!" they said. Atrus and Obi-wan really did like Qui-gon's cooking even though it looked like Yoda's gruel.
He stopped tickling them through the Force and Atrus stopped tickling him through their link.
They final got off the floor and walked back to the dining room with Obi-wan and Atrus giggling the whole way.
****************
I hope you liked it. tongue.gif

 

Neona Star, I must admit to being neglectful of this story. For that I humbly apologize. redface.gif

Now on with feed back. Atrus is a vampire, (Ok half-vampire) cool! cool.gif I have to tell you vampires are my all-time favorite monsters. They're just so darn sexy. I see many wonderful possiblities with this story and I promise to do a better job keeping up with you.

I'm enjoying it so far, very much!

 

HealerLeona, don't worry about it; I just wondered where you went. Here is another short post.
**************
After breakfast the three Jedi headed for the peace conference. As soon as they got there they were seated. Then it began. Obi-wan tired to pay attention but they were just saying the same thing over and over again just in a different way each time. Atrus looked like she was bored too while Qui-gon kept his face neutral. All of a sudden one of the aides of one of the delegates nudge him.
"Are you three really Jedi?" asked the young boy.
"Yes," Obi-wan said, glad for the distraction.
"What are you here for?"
"We are here to make sure the peace conference goes well."
"Cool, so which one of them is your Master?"
"The older man between me and her."
"Who is she?"
"Her name is Atrus."
"What is your name?"
"Obi-wan Kenobi. What?s your name?"
"James Kahn."
"Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you two."
"Obi-wan, pay attention." Qui-gon whispered.
"Yes, Master."
"What is your master's name?"
"Qui-gon Jinn."
Qui-gon looked at him again. Obi-wan turned to listen to the boring representative.
*******************
I hope you like it.

 

Has everyone gone? confused.gif I hope not. By the way, HealerLeona, Dreams is finished so please tell me how you liked the ending. Here is the next post.
********************
Final the three Jedi exited the Peace Conference, who was taking a break for the rest of the day.
"We better check out the sites where the creatures stuck." Qui-gon said.
"We should." Obi-wan agreed.
They headed down the streets and into the darker levels. They grow more couscous as they went further. Obi-wan staved close to his Master for reassurance. Atrus kept close to both of them. All three of them could faintly feel the cold presence of the creatures down there. They turned down a corner and continued to look out for danger.
*************
Deep in the shadows a creature watched them. It had been following them down ever since they entered the dark under levels. He could attack now but he would wait just a little bit longer.
****************
I know it was short but I hope you like it.

 

Nope we ain't gone. We still here with the hopes of another post.

 

Thanks, I was wondering where you all went.
Here is another post.
****************
They went down into one of the darkest part of the tunnels unaware of their danger. The rest of the tunnel was blocked and there was still no sign of danger.
"We better get back to the top." Obi-wan said.
"I don't think your going anywhere," hissed a feminine voice from the direction they just came from.
The three Jedi whorled around and looked at the creature in the entrance. It was a female human. She had black hair and gray blue eyes. She also looked dangerous.
"We will leave here no matter what you do." Atrus growled.
The vampire rushed to them with her unnatural speed and hit Atrus before she knew what hit her. Atrus flew a little bit then hit the floor. She quickly got up and rushed back to Qui-gon and Obi-wan.
My, now what should I do with you three." the vampire purred as she looked at the three Jedi.
After a few minutes she said, "I think I'll give you to my Master," she said as she pointed to Atrus, "he has been waiting for you." She then turned to Qui-gon and Obi-wan
"I think I'll keep you two for myself. Especial you." she purred as she drew closer to Obi-wan.
"I don't think so." Qui-gon said as he drew out his lightsaber.
Atrus and Obi-wan followed suit. The vampire hissed then attacked. The three Jedi ignited their lightsabers and fought her off. They maneuvered toward the tunnel and up it all the while keeping the vampire back. All of a sudden the vampire flipped over Atrus and Qui-gon and grabbed Obi-wan.
"Sleep, boy, I will be with you soon,? she purred into his ear.
Obi-wan dropped to the ground asleep.
Atrus seeing what the creature had done to her friend rushed in front of Qui-gon and drove the vampire away from the boy.
"Get Obi-wan out of here!" she yelled as she continued to drive the vampire back.
"No! I will not lose my prey that easily!" the vampire yelled and flipped over Atrus.
Atrus flew up and grabbed her ankle. The vampire came down with a crash. Qui-gon picked the boy up and ran toward the exit. Atrus pointed her lightsaber at the vampire's throat.
"Stay away from them, you hear me." Atrus hissed down at the creature, "and tell your Master that I have been waiting for him to, for a long time."
With that Atrus ran down the tunnel and into the sunlight.
Qui-gon stood there holding the sleeping Obi-wan in his arms protectively.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"Yes, we better get out of here and back to our apartment." Atrus said.
"What about Obi-wan?" he asked.
"He will be alright in a few hours,? she said.
They then rushed back to their apartment.
***************
I hope you like it. Please comment.

 

For all of you who likes my charactor. I was wandering, I am wrighting a story that shows when Qui-gon and Atrus met for the frist time and contiues to a few of their adventures and other things. If I post it on this thread as a topic would any of you read it. Please let me know. I will post tonight.