Before - Legends The Long Run (JA, Obi/Qui) - *Complete, Author Replies*

Title: The Long Run
Author: P_A
Genre: Angst (hopefully), Mush
Timeline: Obi's seventeen.
Summary: An ordinary occurance that goes wrong.
Notes: Not another one. Gah. Ignore it, if you find it too much. I needed to get this off my system.

**************

Obi-Wan was perspiring.

Considering that this was a training salle, it wasn?t a very uncommon occurrence. Considering that he was now involved in a duel, brandishing his lightsabre against his opponent, it was a very common occurrence indeed.

What was unique?considering his usual schedule during non-mission periods of relative respite in the Temple, was the fact that he was duelling with his age-mates. One of them ? a Zabrak, to be exact.

He flipped gracefully, twirling his sabre with his wrist, a trick he had learnt from Qui-Gon. At the completion of seventeen cycles, and more than four standard years of training under his Master (however broken that training might have been), he had managed to acquire a good deal of Qui-Gon?s unpredictability and poise in battle. Not to the extent that he barrelled into any situation headlong (as had happened more than once, on a few of their so-called peaceful missions gone spectacularly wrong) ? but then, Qui-Gon had accomplished some success on those, and though Obi-Wan was confused and sometimes disoriented by the paths his erratic mentor?s brainwaves sometimes took, he was fast learning how to cope with them. And to acquire some of those erratic manoeuvres himself.

Which was what he was attempting at this moment, in a long, high-ceilinged salle, circling his opponent at half-crouch, with four of the Council members and sabre masters as audience. Not to mention the scattered sprinkle of padawans and knights, watching, or sparring idly.

He sent out a swift tendril of the Force, his mind processing his opponent?s thoughts and inclinations as quickly as his hands and feet moved to accommodate them. That was another trick Qui-Gon had taught him?enveloping the opponent with the Force, while trying to guard your own defences. It wasn?t the purest form of light-sabre duelling, and his former sabre-master, Master Del?el, had not been happy to see this minor deviation from the pristine rules of combat ? but this was battle, as Obi-Wan had taken some pains to explain. And one did not pause to think if he was following the exact specifications of the Dellei strategy, when one was facing a group of snarling rancors.

Padawan Teal paused, his black and orange face screwed in concentration, obviously having sensed Obi-Wan?s Force probes. His lips curved in a half tilt, making him look particularly vicious. He curved his body, twisting it so that he ended up at Obi-Wan?s left, in an attempt to place his sabre at his neck.

It was a move Obi-Wan had been waiting for. He waited for the last possible moment for Teal to complete his twist, then abruptly somersaulted, his right boot kicking Teal?s sabre, while pulling hard at Teal's braid.

Teal let out a unwarrior-like grunt, scrabbled for his sabre, and the next instant felt a blue sabre sizzling at his chest.

A faint buzzing arose among his audience. Obi-Wan withdrew his sabre, and bowed. Padawan Teal recovered his poise and retrieved his sabre, bowing in return.

?You pulled my braid,? he remarked. There was a faint note of astonished admiration in his voice. ?I didn?t expect that.?

?Expect the unexpected,? said Obi-Wan, smiling slightly. His gaze had caught Qui-Gon standing by one of the spectator seats, immersed in conversation with Master Del?el.

?This is a sparring session.? Teal pointed out.

?And this is what we?ll do, when it comes to battle.?

Teal appeared to ponder this. ?Could you teach me the Dellei strategy? I?m afraid I haven?t?? he paused. ?I can never get the last kata right.?

?Certainly.?

Teal gave him a strained smile and walked away.

Obi-wan watched as the padawan went to meet his master, and walked to meet his own. Qui-Gon had been watching the session w

 

ohhh! Do I get to be first? That's not right! It's just not! More soon, please? Obi wasn't being *that* bad. After all, anything can be used as a weapon. This being a salle, I'm betting it's got lots and lots of natural light--Obi could have manuvered his opponent so that the sun was in his eyes or any number of perfectly legal, but dirty tricks!

BrightFeather

Edit: Don't they know? Always playing by the rules can get you killed. Bad guys always cheat... And in war, there are no rules...
BF (who's been reading far too many books about swordplay and stuff)

 

The one he beat was chosen and he wasn't? Dang, I can see why he would be upset.

 

How could you stop there? How?

Wonderful, intriguing and original, as always, P_A. Your characterization of Obi-Wan was spot-on. I loved that he had his mouth covered, determined to be calm and quiet, despite his surprise and hurt. Qui-Gon was his usual maddening self. Great beginning.

More soon. Or else.

 

Aw, I can see why Obi would be upset, but I'm sure he'll come out of this having learned another lesson. Can't wait to see more.

 

Awwww you had to stop there??? More, dear darling, Princess, we need more

 

OH, nicely done. I loved that Obi-Wan wasn't chosen, probably for political reasons and a possible punishment for battling as if you want to win, not as if it has to be perfect. Qui-Gon was not happy about it either but he couldn't very well tell Obi-Wan that.

Wonder what they will both do next????

 

Hmmmm.....curious beginning and I am intrigued. More soon!

 

Interesting....*bookmarks*

 

Nice start- I'm in!

I liked your portrayal of both obi and qui- perfect! Qui was his stoic self-but I'm wondering if perhaps he blames himself a little if obi was not on the list b/c of following his teachings...
Obi's reaction, especially the litany, made me wonnder if perhaps he was reliving his initiate days?

Hope you update soon!

 

You're back! *grins* I'm sure my family now thinks I'm mad, as I laughed aloud (in delight) when I saw your name on the update list. I'm in, of course.

 

poor Obi-Wan is learning what it is like to be a rogue

 

Well done - Love it! Poor Obi - am I the only one who feels sorry for him?
Silly Master Windu...

Looking forward to more!

 

Ouch. How very painful for poor Obi-Wan, to be standing there listening to the names being read, age-mates and equals, and to not be chosen himself. Qui-Gon seems pretty inscrutable on the whole matter, but I'm sure he's aware of how much it hurt his Padawan.

Can't wait for more!

 

<<Teal appeared to ponder this. ?Could you teach me the Dellei strategy? I?m afraid I haven?t?? he paused. ?I can never get the last kata right.?

?Certainly.?

Teal gave him a strained smile and walked away.>>

This section in particular stood out to me. Good writing--truly good writing--says a lot with a small amount of words and allows the reader to take an active part in visualizing the scene--while, in a way, still represents exactly what the writer intended.

Once more, you've trapped my interest. "Uh-oh, not good." *Insert the long-absent tongue-in-cheek comment*

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

 

Yay! Angst!
*falls asleep*
(I'll be back with a better, longer review, I promise, as soon as I wake up.)

 

Wow, this is good. Your characterizations are incredible--you manage to evoke such depth of feeling in only a few words. I love the complexity of the situation you've set up here--Obi-Wan may be better, but perfect form is prized, and following Qui-Gon is not politically correct in the Jedi Temple. And Obi-Wan's wish to be chosen is so human--and very him, as well--and it came across perfectly.

 

Obi-Wan not chosen? How could this be? I'm shocked, but there must be reasons behind this. Still....ouch, ouch, ouch.
Brilliantly written and the descriptions were just beautiful.
I can't wait to see where this leads!
Wonderful, P_A!

 

I managed to hurt my shoulder, and I cannot do my usual reviews for a while. I don?t want to stop reading, but I can only type with one very tired hand.

When you don?t see this, you?ll know I am better.

New, and very interesting!

I think that if I were Obi-Wan, I would prefer to meditate on this alone, too.

More, please!

 

Replies:.

BrightFeather: Yep, you get to be first. And what may appear right to Obi, may not appear the same way to someone else. All that jazz about rules of the game.

Don't they know? Always playing by the rules can get you killed. Bad guys always cheat... And in war, there are no rules...
BF (who's been reading far too many books about swordplay and stuff)

Ah well. Qui-Gon always played by a different set of rules. And you are too perceptive for your own good. Thanks!

Fat_Bird : Yep, Obi's very upset. It's hard to swallow defeat when you know you're good. Thanks for reading.

LuvEwan : Ackkk! She's going to kill me!

<comes back after a respite> Qui-Gon is being very maddening, isn't he? Master's prerogative, I tell ya. Not that that's helping Obi any. Thanks, m'dear.

Healer_Leona : Trust you to spot typical Qui-Gon. Yes, this is another of a long series of lessons. Not that he likes t any. Thanks!

Jedi_Tigris: Obi is a survivor. Thank you.

Layren : Darling Layren, you'll have more, I promise. Thanks, girl.

dianethx: They'll have plenty to do - they always do. Yep, Qui-Gon was not very happy about it, but there was little he could do. And 'political reasons' might be right. Or not. Keep guessing. Thanks, m'lady.

Arwen-Jade_Kenobi : More soon, yes. Thanks.

-Darksaber- : Hi there, Jodie-Wan, Hope you like.

Stella_Ripple : More than the initiate days, he was perhaps reliving his recent past. And about how far he was going to fulfill his master's expectations. As for Qui...that man, I tell you, is maddening. Thanks for reading.

Dragonlady : Wow. Thanks so much. I'm so glad you like this.

PadawanKitara: PK, you are so.... right.

Kestrel_Kenobi : Silly Master Windu, indeed. Thanks for reading!

maychorian: Thanks, May. I'm sure Qui-Gon was aware of more than he was letting on - but then, he believes in being a stoic Master. But Obi-Wan is feeling pretty awful, at the moment. I plan on keeping him that way. For a while.

Fluff-Slayer:

Good writing--truly good writing--says a lot with a small amount of words and allows the reader to take an active part in visualizing the scene--while, in a way, still represents exactly what the writer intended.

My dear, I'm truly flattered. Thank you so much. So I've caught your interest, eh? I'm glad. I hope I can retain it.

PadawanEstel : <waits for PE to wake up> Thank you.

SakuraTsukikage: I'm honoured that you dropped in. I'm always worried about the characterization, so I'm glad that came out well. Yes, it *is* Obi-Wan, to feel so...intense, I suppose. Thanks for reading!

DriftingThread : Ouch, ouch, ouch. Yes. It hurts. Badly. We're a ll a cruel set of people, aren't we? Thanks, dear.

Star_Drifter: You know how much I appreciate your reviews. Thanks so much. Get better soon!

Update soon - this evening, if possible.

 

Okay, I managed to get that done earlier than I thought. For a long time, I debated if I should post the epilogue with this...and then decided that I'd do that in a separate post.

Onto the update.

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Part II

There was no doubt in his mind about where exactly he must go. Obi-Wan rejected the gardens outright, as well as the meditation chambers normally in use for the padawans. Instead, he hastened down one small corridor that branched off from the salle, until he reached a nondescript door with a complicated control panel. One of the numerous rooms on the training floor, that could be used for private practice.

He stopped for a moment. It had been quite a while since he had used this particular room ? the last time he had been here, he had done some ?work?, after a mission to evacuate a planet ravaged by an epidemic. Perhaps he mustn?t be using this room again for such a trivial reason as the one revolving in his mind now. And yet?

He checked the control panel to see if the room was occupied?the light blinked green, which meant that it wasn?t. He drew a deep breath, gave the code, and stepped in.

Inside, everything was as he had thought it might be. A training mat lay in the middle of the small chamber, while a metal ledge ran along one side of it. On a tiny shelf in one corner were stacked a few datapads. Soothing light illuminated the room.

Obi-Wan threw off his cloak - it fell into a crumpled heap by the wall. His hand automatically found the hilt of his sabre, pried it off, and activated it. At other moments, he might have found the blue light and the faint thrumming comforting?but this was not one of those moments.

He waved his hand. There was a clicking sound, and the side of the metal ledge opened, revealing a receptacle. Through it flew out a small remote.

?Activate.? Obi-Wan murmured. ?The highest setting.?

?One THR456 remote activated.? Answered a metallic voice, echoing around the room.

?How many more??

?There are eight remotes in total, padawan Kenobi.?

?Activate them all.?

?Standard protocol: activation of two remotes in the first ten minutes??

?Override protocol. I repeat: activate them all.?

A vague humming proceeded as eight more remotes flew out of the metal ledge. Obi-Wan paused a moment as he stared at the small spheres, buzzing in the air. His fingers touched his tunic. Abruptly, he tore off a corner of his tunic, tied it and around his eyes in a blindfold, and held out his sabre. ?Begin offensive strategy sequence 3i5,? he said.

The remotes whizzed into position.

Thirty standard minutes later, he ripped off his blindfold, chest heaving and in a half crouch, tunics clinging to his back. He straightened, and felt a sense of disgust as he looked at his sword-arm, in front of his face. His blue sabre hummed quietly, the light almost blinding everything else into nothingness. Eight small remotes rolled about his feet in various stages of dismemberment. It had taken him barely a few minutes to determine the capabilities of all eight. He usually worked with not more than three at a moment, although he had worked with more ? but eight THR456 standard remotes simultaneously was an exercise he had not tried before. Pulling them apart had taken a good deal of strategy and concentration?even if it had resulted in a bit of singed tunic and burns on his face.

He had wanted that. The pain. The sharp sting as the remotes delivered energy blasts calculated to send a normal Jedi to his or her knees. That instantaneous moment of burning agony as the bolts pierced his skin. He had wanted to crush them, and feel the pain they could inflict - all at the same time.

Ridiculous, he told himself. He was magnifying this too much. A Jedi ought always to practice moderation, not let anything blow out of proportion.

A Jedi ought not to fail in simple championship selection sessions either. Not after all the training he had been through. Or the missions he had seen. Or the opponents he had faced. He was the padawan

 

Wow, that was awesome. I loved the Jedi philosophy, and the story from the Mahabharata--great! It fits the Jedi, doesn't it? Arjuna might have made a good Jedi, I think.

The ending was great. Obi-Wan lying in Qui-Gon's lap, the joking about the Healer's and Qui-Gon's concern . . . You're very good. I'm impressed.

 

*contented sigh* Oh that was loverly....

 

Poor Obi-Wan, thinking that he had not done well because it wasn't perfect. Heck, perfect would get him killed in the field.

Loved the interaction between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. You do those two so very well. Every time I read them, I get warm fuzzies even when they are talking about serious things. Their relationship just shines out.

Bravo.