Before - Legends Balking At a Winter Wonderland--A Jemmiah Chronicles vacation!--COMPLETED 1/1

Title: Balking At a Winter Wonderland
Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Jemmiah
Timeframe: 10 years pre-TPM
Summary: A winter excursion goes...well...banoodly!
Author's Note: This is done with the express permission of Jemmiah and I am grateful to her for lending me the plot bunny, character, and the background information. She owns Jemmiah Gleshan and Simeon Cates and any other strange names in this story. George Lucas owns the rest.
*****
"A holiday?" Obi-Wan said skeptically. "Are you sure that's...prudent?"

Qui-Gon sighed heavily, which was slightly uncharacteristic for a man of his patient nature, but he felt completely justified, considering that Obi-Wan was asking the same question that Yoda, Mace, An-Paj and Jemmiah had voiced as well.

"Of course it's prudent," he said through gritted teeth. "It's been quite an eventful year and our apprenticeship family has gained a very important member."

"We gained a tornado on legs, to quote you exactly," Obi-Wan reminded. "Are you sure that you and your amazing collapsible nose would want to go on holiday with her?"

"Quite," Qui-Gon protested, planting his hands on his hips. "She deserves a break just as much as any of us and it would be a good time for us to bond."

The look on Obi-Wan's face was thoroughly unreadable, but was something akin to the time that he had gotten his head stuck in a fresher for the whole hour before his oral report and was treated for disorientation from the fumes.

"You've been talking to Master Sidatu again," he accused.

"I have been doing nothing of the sort!" Qui-Gon insisted.

Obi-Wan looked far from convinced and highly suspicious.

"All right," Qui-Gon conceded. "If you must know, it was Master Berling..."

"Oh, no!" Obi-Wan brayed, his look of consternation changing to one of full-blown and rather unnecessary alarm. "I'm not going anywhere on the recommendation of Sexy Dexy."

Qui-Gon had to admit that the thought did give him pause, since Dex Berlingside was more likely to recommend a good brothel than to plan a successful family vacation, but despite his reservations, the situation was ideal.

"It's a cabin owned by the Chandrilan Consulate," Qui-Gon assured him. "Unless you know something about Senator Turot that I don't, I feel perfectly confident that it is a perfectly respectable location."

That, at least, seemed to soothe Obi-Wan's nerves, since they had journeyed to Chandrila last year and he had left with the impression that not a more civilized planet existed. At the very least, Qui-Gon guessed, there would be running water and flushing 'freshers. That alone was a vast improvement over the usual Temple vacation fare.

"And it's for holiday," Obi-Wan said cautiously. "No hidden training motives, no fifty-mile hikes..."

"I'm bringing Jemmiah along," Qui-Gon reminded. "While it would give her a good laugh, I don't espouse that sort of abuse..."

Obi-Wan snorted.

"Publicly," Qui-Gon conceded.

Obi-Wan responded with a grudging shrug, but did not contradict him.

"As it is," Qui-Gon continued as if he hadn't noticed, "we leave in two days' time, after Jemmmiah returns from school and we will not be returning for four days."

"Four days?!" Obi-Wan brayed. "But, Master, it's Jay's birthday this weekend and I can't miss..."

"You can," Qui-Gon growled, "for the good of Jemmiah."

For a long moment, Obi-Wan stared at him, the look on his face suggesting that he had been gutshot by his best friend. "That's not fair," he said more quietly.

"Neither is what happened on Nagotria," Qui-Gon reminded, patting him affably on the shoulder. "I think it will be good for her."
*****
"We're only going for four days," Qui-Gon observed. "Why do you have three cases each?"

"We have to be prepared," Jemmiah declared.

"For a nuclear winter?" Qui-Gon countered. "You could feed a third-class system with the contents of those!"

Sending him a rather hurt look, she opened all three bags. "I have clothes, hair bows, beads, Corellian Orchid bath oil, bath soap, bath pillow, bo

 

YOu know what is really scary Ish? Jemmiah packs for a trip like that as I would.. can't go without the bath stuff, and she didn't EVEN get to all the hair stuff.

Poor Qui-Gon. I feel sorry for him already much as I did the brother that acted as our priesthood chaperon at girl's camp all those many years ago......

 

LOLOL Ish this looks like a great beginning -- I can't wait for more

 

Oohhh, excellent so far. Can't wait for more!

~Rhi

 

You started it! Do you know, I loved the bit where Qui was comenting on the cases and what they contained! Jemmy not budging without her all-pupose duck (love that phrase) and Obi-Wan opening his own case only to be shot down in flames! And Obi-Wan's doubts at Qui-Gon's hidden agenda and whether there would be any training in it for him was priceless! He knows Qui-Gon so well at this stage!

Well done!

 

Great opening Ishtar.

 

Brilliant start Ish!

I love Snordle the all-purpose duck! And that plasti-duck has been EVERYWHERE!

 

Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?

 

I have Snordle," she continued.

"Another bath item."

"He is an all-purpose duck," she protested indignantly, "and I'm not moving from this spot without him!"

My own Snordle agrees.

Can't wait for more.

 

Noelie--YOu know what is really scary Ish? Jemmiah packs for a trip like that as I would.. can't go without the bath stuff, and she didn't EVEN get to all the hair stuff.

Jemmiah packs like my little sister.

Poor Qui-Gon. I feel sorry for him already much as I did the brother that acted as our priesthood chaperon at girl's camp all those many years ago......

Oh, dear, that's why we didn't have a priesthood chaperone. We had grumpy directors and the bishops came up once that week.

Layren --LOLOL Ish this looks like a great beginning -- I can't wait for more

Thanks. COming from a Qui-Gon hardcorer, that means a lot.

TheLurker --Oohhh, excellent so far. Can't wait for more!

Thanks!

Jemmiah --You started it! Do you know, I loved the bit where Qui was comenting on the cases and what they contained! Jemmy not budging without her all-pupose duck (love that phrase) and Obi-Wan opening his own case only to be shot down in flames! And Obi-Wan's doubts at Qui-Gon's hidden agenda and whether there would be any training in it for him was priceless! He knows Qui-Gon so well at this stage!

Well done!

I started it after three days in a row of walking to and from the bus stop in snow. I'm glad you like the APD. I figured it was very appropriate to Snordle. And yeah, Obi-Wan should be a better example, but he's Obi.

Healer_Leona --Excellent start Ish.

Thanks, Leona, hope you like my version of Qui-Gon in this one.

DarkMan77 --Great opening Ishtar.

Thanks.

mouse2--Brilliant start Ish!

I love Snordle the all-purpose duck! And that plasti-duck has been EVERYWHERE!

Exactly. From Coruscant to Urior... He is exactly the duck for all occasions, which is why I love him.

BrightFeather --Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?

Hey, the plot bunny is Jemmiah's; you can't blame me if it goes horribly wrong!

Aya-Na_Bashu--I have Snordle," she continued.

"Another bath item."

"He is an all-purpose duck," she protested indignantly, "and I'm not moving from this spot without him!"

My own Snordle agrees.

Can't wait for more.

LOL, thanks to you and your own Snordle.

 

Other than the usual fight over who got the front seat, which Jemmiah got by virtue of Obi-Wan being "too old not to know better;" and the customary trip to the 'fresher, which occurred ten minutes after Qui-Gon had reminded them for the last time to use the 'fresher before they left, the trip was going without a hitch.

The Temple speeder was hardly top of the line, since it was provided by some of the more annoyed bureaucrats to plague the universe, but it had the unique virtue of having a functioning heater. Jemmiah was curled up next to it, half-turned in her seat for the express purpose of tossing takkini chips at Obi-Wan while he tried to finish his history essay with a distinct air of superiority.

"I have no time for childish games, Jemmiah," he said with stiff formality, jabbing at the keys of his datapad as if he were performing a very hostile version of acupressure. "A proper Jedi must devote his attentions to the Force first, his education second, and his personal follies third..."

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..."

"You disagree?" Obi-Wan sniffed.

She schooled her features into a look that suggested that she was suffering from a terminal illness. "Simeon warned me that you'd be boring as table salt when you turned fifteen," Jemmiah said sagely, "but I never thought it would be this bad."

"It's not his fault," Qui-Gon interjected apologetically. "There's a point in every Padawan's life when he actually starts paying attention to the boring discourses his Master has been spewing and becomes something close to insufferable. You just happen to be witnessing it first hand."

"Maybe that's why no one ever has an extra apprentice," Jemmiah mused, pausing in her chip-hurling to ingest a few pensively. "It's cruel and unusual punishment to whoever would be the third wheel."

"Undoubtedly," Qui-Gon agreed.

Glancing back to the young man who had his nose about a millimeter above the screen of the datapad, Qui-Gon sighed. "Obi-Wan, it's a holiday. You can put off your work for the duration of the ride."

"And when I find my essay unfinished five minutes before class?" Obi-Wan protested.

"Fake a cerebral hemorrhage and turn it in the next day," Jemmiah suggested. "From the way An-Paj talks about you, it wouldn't be too far-fetched."

Sighing with the dramatic flair that only an overwrought fifteen-year-old could muster, Obi-Wan dutifully saved the document and packed it away into his book bag.

"Fine," he said brusquely. "If you want some family time, you come up with a topic of conversation."

"I've got one," Jemmiah piped up helpfully. "Weird talents!"

"Jedi don't have those," Qui-Gon said a little too quickly.

"I beg to differ," Obi-Wan contributed. "Simeon has this toe trick that is the talk of the town."

"Only because there's nothing talented about that trick," Qui-Gon responded with a heartfelt shudder. "It is simply unnatural!"

"I've heard some of the female Knights talking about Master Berlingside's talents," Jemmiah mused. "Is it really true that..."

"I don't want to know what the female Knights are saying about Dex's talents," Qui-Gon roared urgently.

Obi-Wan and Jemmiah didn't respond, only shared rather conspiratorial grins. Obi-Wan stuffed a chip into his mouth.

"I can fit thirty-six of these into my mouth at once," he boasted.

"I'd like to see you try," Jemmiah shot back.

"Oh, no you don't!" Qui-Gon protested. "The last time he tried, he had blisters for a month afterwards!"

?I remember that,? Obi-Wan said with an air of fond reminiscence. ?There was a carnival fund-raiser for the Padawans? retreat that week and I was supposed to be manning the kissing booth??

?Only because I knew nothing about it,? Qui-Gon reminded. ?Why Master Berlingside thought it would be a suitable activity for a thirteen-year-old boy??

He broke off, looking thoughtful.

?No, I know the answer to that,? he admitted, ?but it doesn?t make it right!?

?Anyway,? Obi-Wan continued in exasperation, ?I couldn?t stop

 

Qui-Gon regarded her for a long moment, obviously doubting the wisdom of divulging such information, then returned his gaze to the road. ?I can sing the Jedi anthem in seventeen languages,? he said rather shyly.

?Pah!? Jemmiah snorted. ?You?re no fun at all!?

?Sadly, I am not,? Qui-Gon agreed with a smile, ?but it?s a better torture method than half the weapons in the galaxy."



Hahahahah you update so fast! Great job with it Ish~!

 

OH.. well considering that our camp was just over the hill from the Canadian Army camp, I guess they figured we needed one, especially since the our homemade showers and potties (we REALLY roughed it in Canada okay?) were on the path that the boys soon learned they liked to take during the week we were camping.

We actually had a song.

"We love you.. Brother ________,
Your the only man that we adore!!!
In the Morning...when the Bears come,
We'll be knocking at your leanto door!"

 

LOL, Nedra, you have this inexpressably funny life. Now, here's a story of my own.

The story about Obi-Wan and the takkini chips is very loosely based on when I was a missionary. I was trying to get "ethnic" by eating anything our people in California would give me and one day, I was given a lollipop that was watermelon-flavored. What I didn't know is that it had chili pepper in the middle. So I was sucking on the lollipop while doing the service project (Grouting a tile floor) and all of a sudden started screaming while everyone laughed at me. I rinsed out my mouth, but when I woke up in the morning, my mouth and lips were covered in blisters. For a week, no one would do the traditional cheek-kiss thing because they thought I had leprosy or something.

Heehee, thanks, Layren!

 

Hey, I know just the lollipops! My sons Tyler and Jayson ( henceforth known as "the firebugs) bought them for me once.
I am game for about anything, but I will also say that once was enough for me on these ones.

Hehe..Leprosy.. Strangely enough that also came up at work during my Saturday trying to be Quality supervisor thing. You are going to wonder if we actually really WORK on blended.

 

Naw, I was over there, remember? I know you guys don't work--all you do is talk about body butter and take mass-breaks.

 

All work and no play makes Obi-Wan a dull boy...(good thing there's no typewriter around!)He'd do well to remember that, except he wouldn't be the Obi-Wan we all know and love if he did! Typical! Even on a holiday poor Ben has to study! I laughed out loud when Jemmy complained he was becoming dull. And Qui-Gon singing all the verses of the anthem? ROFLOL! A good thing he didn't! I can just see Jemmy throwing chips and complaining "are we there yet!" Not to mention talking herself into a coma...I really liked that phrase. But my fave bit was Jemmy's answer to Obi-Wan when he asked what he should do when he found out the deadline for his essay was looming: faking a cerebral haemorrage indeed!

 

LOL. You're lucky this isn't me in my younger days--I once had a former Padawan suggest to his Master's new Padawan that the only way she could get a sick day was to fake a skull fracture and then she actually got a skull fracture on the first mission. Yes, Obi-Wan would be a dull boy if he were like this. This is largely based on my brother at 16, which is pretty much when he got that maddening air of superiority (also due to him being the youngest in the family), just like Obi-Wan. Glad you're liking Jemmy. I'm not very confident writing 11-year-old Corellians.

NOTE TO ALL: On the advisement of a wise person, I am only going to PM those who ask for it. So far, my list for PMs is:

Layren
Brightfeather
mouse2
Noelie

 

"I can sing the Jedi anthem in seventeen languages,? he said rather shyly.

Personally I'd make him prove it! But that's just me. Poor Obi... Tryiong to pull off the "I'm cool yet responsible" thing. With Jemmy around he's going to fail miserably.

I think I hurt myself laughing because I didn't think of ol' Jack. (If I was stuck with Shelley Duvall saying 'Hi Hon!' every five minutes I'd go crazy too!) I thoughts go straight to The Simpsons with this little quote...

HOMER: No beer and no TV make Homer something something.
MARGE: Go crazy?
HOMER: Don't mind if I do!

I have warped my frwaggle wittle brwain!

 

Please add me to your list.

I want more!

 

I'll give more, probably later today.

Yeah, I'd make Quiggy prove it too. I was reminded, while writing this, of a part of To Kill A Mockingbird where they're talking about the things their Dad can do and their maid says that he can play Jews' Harp. The daughter is so disgusted by his lack of talents, then finds out he's the best shot in the County. I wonder what Qui-Gon's got up his sleeve, besides a sexy accent?

 

It was difficult to tell if there was actually a person in there.

Certainly, the pile of jumpers, parkas, snowtrousers, scarves, and fuzzy caps, complete with a garish bobble, could have been inhabited by an eleven-year-old Corellian girl, but then again, it could have been simply a pile-up of her snowgear.

Obi-Wan squinted doubtfully between the scarf and the hat and could swear that he saw a pair of reproachful eyes glaring back at him, but it was hard to tell. With that option eliminated, Obi-Wan poked an experimental finger into the general area of the pile's midsection.

"MMPF UMPPPH MPPPPPPPPPPPH!"

Or, at least, that was what it sounded like. Beyond that, he was unable to understand a thing she was saying.

?Sorry?? he queried. ?I didn?t hear you.?

Her arms waved, but he couldn?t tell if she were trying to free her mouth from the scarf or trying to hit him. He pulled the scarf down and she gasped theatrically for breath.

?I said,? Jemmiah repeated grouchily, ?that I can?t breathe!?

Obi-Wan sighed sympathetically. ?Master?? he called.

?Yes, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon responded wearily without bothering to wait for the question, "it?s necessary and if you want to survive your next trip to the Healer?s, you?ll let me do exactly what An-Paj ordered.?

?Blasted bluebutt,? Jemmiah muttered. ?I?ll die of heat stroke before he?s satisfied!?

?Not when the temperature is so low that your sweat could turn you into a glacier in two seconds flat,? Qui-Gon countered.

?Really?? Jemmiah said keenly. ?Can I try??

?NO!? they both said hastily.

She went back to sulking, or at least, as much sulking as a walking ski-shop could manage.

?All right,? Obi-Wan said at last. ?I think I?m suited up, so I?ll help you waddle outside.?

?How kind of you.?

He took hold of her arms, applying alternating pressure on each so that she tilted to the right enough to move her leg.

?I?ll be out soon,? Qui-Gon called after them. ?I just have to retrieve something for this sniffle of mine."

"No sniffling!" Jemmiah protested loudly as Obi-Wan steered her down the front steps. "This is a holiday and there's no such thing as sniffles!"

"All right," Qui-Gon laughed from behind a handkerchief. "I'll just fail to mention it."

There was a slight screech, then a series of thuds, followed unexpectedly by a loud giggle.

Obi-Wan turned a slightly sheepish grin on his master. "Well," he admitted, "there's one advantage to all that gear."

"Which is?" Qui-Gon was afraid to ask.

"She might have broken a few bones if those hard steps had been able to get through the jumpers to her body."

Qui-Gon shook his head, then turned his back, suddenly in need of something for his headache.
*****

 

Oooh an update and I get to be first!

Awwww poor Qui-Gon has a headache and love Jemmy all wrapped up in what looks like a ski shop The rest of my family ski's in Colorado just about every year so it's really easy to imagine poor Jemmy like that

 

LOL. Hope she doesn't have to use the 'fresher any time soon...