Before - Legends Our Latest Attraction: Q/O Vignette: Response to Quotation Challenge

[image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v673/LuvEwan/lights.jpg]

PG

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.

Summary: Qui-Gon Jinn goes to the carnival. Response to the Non-SW Movie Quotation Roulette challenge, #71: ?Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain?t heard nothing yet!? The Jazz Singer (1927)

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The sky has turned a burnished red-pink, softening the wrapper and confetti-littered ground. Every step seems to leave my boots with another layer of syrupy, gummy substance; each inhalation fills my nostrils with the stale warmth of food. Most of the grease-soaked snacks were devoured hours before, or abandoned, half-eaten, around the trash receptacles. In the midday, the crowds were unbearably thick, but now, only the occasional group of stragglers walked along the cluttered paths, clutching souvenirs or each other.

It?s the first day of the Grand Carnival of Ooheela, a collection of tents that roam from city to city, offering entertainment and diversions. The planet of Ooheela is large enough so that the arrival of the performers and sideshows in any given location was a rare, highly anticipated event. The cavalcade usually remainsin one spot for a few weeks, attracting countless spectators who swarm the Grand Carnival like fluttering insects to a deserted fruit.

And in the night hours, the locals whisper, what is left is a dark, ugly core. There are things that occur after the balloons wander off into the clouds and the animals doze in their cages?things that are despicable.

I am uncertain what these atrocities might entail, and in all truthfulness, I am loath to pull away the shroud concealing them. But it is quite necessary.

So I stride through the sleeping grounds, eyes staring straight ahead at my destination. The tent is a jovial red-and-white striped monstrosity looming in the distance, large enough to house hundreds of eager patrons. But as I move closer, the strings of colorful lights grow dimmer, and the beings more hollow-eyed. I draw my arms into my sleeves, for the wind has garnered a sharp chill, one that ripples across the slick top of the Big Show. During the day, it was the site of amazing spectacles and the buoyant laughter of children. Now, the underbelly has crept in, and a tattered banner has been thrust over the entrance, banning the admittance of the underage.

A heavyset man stands in the shadows cast by the tent, his muscled arms locked across his chest. He wears the loose, bright apparel of a clown, but the white face paint is rolling off with his sweat, and his mouth is a chiseled, severe line. When I make as if to move inside the Big Show, the man steps in front of me.

?Carnival?s closed.? He informs me.

I can hear the riled din of voices inside, barely muted by the thin wall separating them. ?I?m not here for the carnival.?

The man lifts an eyebrow, which is caked in old chalk. ?Then what?re you here for??

?Business,? I answer.

The bouncer snorts, wiping his hands on billowing orange pants. ?Nobody does business in there,? he motions to the tent with his head, ?without the money to back it up.?

I straighten. ?I have credits.?

?Yeah,? The man grunts, ?But you don?t look like you should be here. You look like one of those plants?a cop.?

A sigh escapes me. I had been hoping to avoid coercion, but by the sounds of it, the night?s Big Show is about to reach a fever pitch, and I must to be there for the rumored finale.

My hand emerges from my sleeve, drawing gently across the space between the decorated face of the bouncer and myself. ?I can go in,? I tell the man softly.

The man blinks, his pupils turned to huge black saucers, trained on me. ?You can go in.? He utters, even pulling back the striped flap door.

I smile grimly, duck my head, and walk inside.

Immediately I am assaulted with the sour stench of liquor, mixed with perspiration and unwashed skin. Candy and salty snacks still litter the floor, but have been pounded flat by the herd of onlookers. They push and shove at one another, some making their way through the cro

 

WOW

You paint such a vivid picture of amusement, then decay and finally, despair. This is probably your best so far!

 

Quite wonderful and terrible that Qui-Gon had to wade through that muck of human debris in order to rescue his Padawan. I loved that he threatened the Carnival owner, giving him his life in return for Obi-Wan.

Was I very expensive? What a poignant line. Damn.

Great job, LE, as always.

 

Great vig - nothing less than one would expect from you. Vivid imagery; you can feel the despair in the air.

 

Another great vig, LE. The way you chose your words simply holds me captivated every time. And you've managed to include the quote perfectly. It didn't sound forced at all. Very well done.

 

Methinks you are liking Qui-Gon more and more. I think we have a convert here. Well, a little, anyway. I know nothing will swerve you from your straight and narrow path of Obi-Wanness.

But oh, how I loved this. Especially as it was from Qui-Gon's pov. You've done comeplete justice to him.

?And I have been trained well in defense, Mr. Barulle, let me assure you of that.?

Lol, I *loved* that. Coming from the Master, especially ... well-trained in self defense. Hah to you, Barulle!

Beautiful, as always, LE. When hasn't it been so?

 

WOW Le, that was just amazing. I enjoyed it so very much. I loved how you did it from first person. It was very powerful to see everything from Qui's pov.

Excellent job!

 

This was such a wonderful vig. Your stories are always so unique and beautifully written. You have a way of sucking your readers in with the first few words that speaks highly of your talents. I loved that you did this from Qui Gon's POV. The thoughts and emotions you described really added to the over all effect of the story. And the ending was lovely Great work as always.

 

As always just WOW! I'm constantly in awe of your talent!

 

Wonderful! So dark and disturbing.

 

You are an incredibly powerful writer. The way you have conveyed the emotional depravity of the carnival and your choice of vocabularly really cleaves at the reader and adds to the devastation of both Qui-Gon's heart and Obi-Wan's spirit during and after the auction.

But I know something has been done to him. There is a change, a reason why he has not spoken to me or acknowledged my existence. If anything, he has bowed his head deeper. Does he think me another master, hiding a whip behind my back?

It was quite sad reading that, thinking that Obi-Wan was right there and yet unable to be drawn immediately out of his nightmare.

He really is magic. I know.

And this, the simple and gentle admission that is more far more powerful than the nightmare they have lived through.

Obi-Wan isn't the only one who is magic, my dear

 

gah!!! That last setence just melted me!!!

 

Oh, just wonderful...I loved so much of this...

?Was I very expensive?? Obi-Wan, my Obi-Wan, croaks.

Made my heart melt and cry at the same time.

He really is magic. I know.

Just beautiful - lovely...great challenge response.

 

Hopping on board the love train, especially with those two great lines that everyone has already pointed out. Fabulous.

 

Ooooh, first I miss this when it first appeared and then the boards are slow....

His tunics are gone, and there is only a strip of gossamer red fabric covering a part of his body. The rest of him is highlighted in silvery white paint, running up his legs, arms and chest. They have even dusted his face with it, and adhered three fake emeralds across his brow.

What?? Yowie, you do go far. And such and intensely sceneic environment; it was quite marvelous. Aaaah, and Qui-Gon can be most deadly serious when he's out to rescue his Padawan. And Obi-Wan needs to stay out of trouble.

 

?Oh,? he chuckles weakly, ?Well, you could have mine, but I think I?ve lost them.?

I like this bit of humor at the end of a very serious story. Good job.

 

Have I told you how gorgeous this is?

No?

Well, it is. Just thought you should know.

 

How do you manage to evoke such emotions in such a short piece as this?

Beautiful from beginning to end. Loved the last line - leaves one with such good feelings for the two, as if despite everything - they will both be okay

--shan