Before - Legends More Than Words -- Obi/Qui mush, 12 years pre-TPM, one post

Title: More Than Words
Author: ophelia
Timeframe: About 12 years prior to TPM. Obi-Wan is 13
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn
Genre: Mush and gentle angst
Rating: G--For nothing remotely offensive at all
Summary: Obi-Wan?s first attempt to build a lightsaber isn?t going well, and he doesn?t want to talk about it. Qui-Gon needs to figure out how to help.
Author Note: This story is set in my made-up ?alternate EU.? Obi-Wan?s backstory is quite different from in the JA books, but you don?t need to know the whole thing for the story to make sense. Just suspend disbelief and come along for the ride.

This story owes quite a lot to a story called ?Young Beginnings? by Siobhan.
(The version above is on the site shanobi runs. ?No profanity, slash, or smut allowed.? It?s safe.)

***********************

Qui-Gon walked down a Temple corridor that was as hushed as if it had opened into a holy site?which, after a fashion, it did. The rows of identical doors on either side of the hallway were workrooms, but not rooms for doing just any kind of work. Jedi built lightsabers behind those doors. Within those surprisingly small, unremarkable-looking spaces, the power of life and death literally took shape under their hands.

After a few decades in the service of the Order, the awe tended to wear off the place a bit, which was understandable, but improper. In Qui-Gon?s view, no Jedi should ever become so jaded by the world that he lost sight of what it meant to take a life, or save one. He had tried to impress that upon his thirteen-year-old apprentice, who was currently in one of the workrooms, struggling through his first real step toward knighthood.

Obi-Wan had seemed suitably serious, and suitably eager, and suitably responsible to undertake the task. He treated his training saber with respect, and he had not been pestering Qui-Gon for permission to build a killing blade as if it were some kind of exciting new toy. He did sometimes sigh after his classmates? ?real? weapons, especially when he saw one wielded by a Padawan younger than he was, but the boy was wise enough to realize that asking questions about whether he was ready would only prove that he wasn?t. Qui-Gon had made it clear early on that one should never treat the ability to kill as a privilege to be longed for. Rather, the opposite was true?Jedi children had the privilege of *not* having to take lives. This privilege allowed them to preserve their innocence. Adolescence brought new burdens, however, and for a Jedi, the power to wound or kill was one of them.

Since Obi-Wan had seemed ready for the challenge, Qui-Gon was puzzled about why he was picking up so much frustration from his apprentice. Actually, it was something deeper than frustration?it was more a nameless emotion quivering between rage and despair. That feeling was quickly growing more intense, and Qui-Gon had come down to the workrooms with the sense that all was not well.

The Master Jedi stopped outside the door of the room Obi-Wan was working in. For the moment, there were no sounds inside?just that feeling, as if the boy were rapidly approaching the limits of his emotional control. Qui-Gon stood by the door a long time, his hands folded in his mantle sleeves, waiting to see if the boy would pull out of his distress on his own.

He didn?t.

Instead, a sharp spike in directionless hostility came from inside the room, and Qui-Gon heard muffled clanging sound, like a metal object rebounding off a wall.

He palmed open the door.

Obi-Wan was standing with his back to him, his arms crossed and his fists balled up beneath his armpits. He?d been with Qui-Gon a little under a year, and in that time the Master Jedi had come to recognize most of Obi-Wan?s gestures. This one was his equivalent of sitting on his hands, so he wouldn?t do anything with them that would get him in trouble. He was obviously

 

I love this - I was trying to pick out passages but there are too many that I want to pick out.

The work was so valiant an attempt, but so utterly, spectacularly hopeless a project for a boy of Obi-Wan?s age, that Qui-Gon didn?t know whether to laugh fondly at the well-intentioned tangle, or weep with the poor child, whose spirit so painfully outstripped his abilities. Either reaction would have been unforgivable from Obi-Wan?s perspective, of course, and so Qui-Gon did neither. He also managed to stifle the urge to remonstrate with him gently, starting with the abhorred name ?Little one.? That was every Jedi child?s standard-issue pet name until he got to be around Obi-Wan?s age, at which time all self-respecting Padawan learners began refusing to answer to it. Awwww.

Qui-Gon knew his own sense of guilt was irrational?after all, one built the blade that one felt would best defend one?s life and the lives of others, not the blade that was easiest for one?s apprentice to copy. But still . . . Obi-Wan had been trying to give him the most precious thing he had to offer: a sign that Qui-Gon was his personal measurement of a Jedi, and a man. There were people who went their whole lives without being offered something of such value?and the whole attempt had been ruined by an unfortunate choice of power-cell arrangement.

Obi-Wan was not a person who was very comfortable with expressing emotion in words, so Qui-Gon spared him any elaborate declaration of personal feelings. Instead he just put his hands on the boy?s shoulders and bent down so he could look his apprentice in the eye. ?Thank you,? he said, with a sincerity he hoped Obi-Wan understood.

 

Drat you. Now I'm feeling all prickly about my eyes, because that was such a lovely piece of mush. The whole idea of Obi building a sabre, and how Qui-Gon chose to go about explaining why or how it wouldn't work at that time...

Qui-Gon knew his own sense of guilt was irrational?after all, one built the blade that one felt would best defend one?s life and the lives of others, not the blade that was easiest for one?s apprentice to copy. But still . . . Obi-Wan had been trying to give him the most precious thing he had to offer: a sign that Qui-Gon was his personal measurement of a Jedi, and a man. There were people who went their whole lives without being offered something of such value?and the whole attempt had been ruined by an unfortunate choice of power-cell arrangement.

I think that was the one I loved best. Also, where Kemé ended up with some bizarre oddity. And the absolute ease with wihich Obi trusts his Master.

When Obi-Wan was in the right mood, he liked a kind, firm touch from a trusted adult?it seemed to help him silence anxieties and get over the numerous bitter little frustrations endured daily by children who were no longer little, but were not quite big, either. When Obi-Wan *wasn?t* in the right mood, he definitely wanted people to keep their distance from him?and like many youths his age, his moods could come and go fast.

That is such a perfect image of who Obi-Wan really is.

And the last paragraph was beautiful. Now you've got the JA bug! (or, since you said you'd been bitten by it a long time ago, you're beginning to feel it's effects.)



Bravo!

 

Oh, I loved it!

He also managed to stifle the urge to remonstrate with him gently, starting with the abhorred name ?Little one.? That was every Jedi child?s standard-issue pet name until he got to be around Obi-Wan?s age, at which time all self-respecting Padawan learners began refusing to answer to it.

But that was surely my favorite part. The rest of it to me was very true of a student/teacher relationship in any industry. Student copies teacher in various ways while slowly finding his own voice. What I especially liked was that Qui-Gon didn't outright discourage him from copying his lightsaber, but instead helped him modify the design. That's a good teacher.

 

"it seemed to help him silence anxieties and get over the numerous bitter little frustrations endured daily by children who were no longer little, but were not quite big, either."

A beautiful, simple way of expressing Obi-wan's state.

This is a truly wonderful story, the kind that has my eyes a bit wet and makes me wish I had written it myself. Thanks for sharing.

 

Absolutely superb! I love your stories, the complexity and detail and insight you bring to these seemigly-simple events. Qui-Gon is such a wonderful teacher, patient and calm when needed, affectionate and caring when needed. I envy your ability to write the student-teacher relationship so wisely and effectively. And truly.

I especially liked the end, where Obi-Wan chose to walk in the circle of Qui-Gon's arm, and leaned against him the elevator with such confidence and sweetness. It's a sharp contrast to most JA fic at this age-period, where they are still trying desperately to grow comfortable with each other, usually with a lot of misunderstanding and hurt feelings. Those little notes of yours show what a huge difference it makes for Qui-Gon to have been accepting and supportive of Obi-Wan from the first, and it makes me ache for our usual fanon Obi. He missed so much.

 

Oh Ophelia, that was just beautiful. Such lovely mush. I loved how Obi-Wan let his temper finally get the better of him but showed remorse and embarrassment for acting like he shouldn't and Qui-Gon for understanding and poor Obi-Wan, attempting a Master's design at only 13 years.. one has to feel bad for him that it didnt' work. Excellent job.

 

You probably know my favorite part--That just left the job of taming Obi-Wan?s temper so that he became a wise and judicious man who was trustworthy with a lightsaber outside his Master?s supervision. The thought of an undertaking *that* massive left Qui-Gon feeling slightly faint, but then, he supposed that if he could train Waqkemé Noori to actually *pay attention*--and not just when things around her were exploding, either, but even when people were talking to her in a sane and civilized fashion?then he could manage to pull off another miracle as well.

But I'll mention it anyway. I love how Qui-Gon realizes exactly what Obi-Wan was trying to give him.

 

Valairy_Scot wrote: I love this - I was trying to pick out passages but there are too many that I want to pick out.

Thank you very much for stopping by to read and post . . . and I know what you mean about getting overwhelmed by the volume of material in a story and thinking, "Erk! What do I say?!" I confess that sometimes I close the window and tell myeself I'll come back "later" when I think of something "good." Later usually never comes.

I appreciate your willingness to reply anyway, and to quote the parts you liked.

P_A wrote: Drat you. Now I'm feeling all prickly about my eyes, because that was such a lovely piece of mush. The whole idea of Obi building a sabre, and how Qui-Gon chose to go about explaining why or how it wouldn't work at that time...

Well, the basic idea--Obi-Wan has a wretched time with his first lightsaber and Qui-Gon has to help him--I borrowed from an author called Siobhan. I ought to give credit where credit is due, especially with the plagiarism thread upped in Resource. I've always loved "Young Beginnings" because it captures the sweeter dynamics of the teacher/student and/or parent/child relationship (whatever Masters and Padawans are closer to) without having to resort to having someone kidnapped and flayed alive by an evil person. Nothing terrible or even unusual happens here--it's just a quiet rite of passage that has meaning for the characters involved.

Obi-Wan had been trying to give him the most precious thing he had to offer: a sign that Qui-Gon was his personal measurement of a Jedi, and a man. There were people who went their whole lives without being offered something of such value?and the whole attempt had been ruined by an unfortunate choice of power-cell arrangement.

I think that was the one I loved best. Also, where Kemé ended up with some bizarre oddity. And the absolute ease with wihich Obi trusts his Master.

I've always thought that Obi-Wan's greatest virtue and his deepest flaw was his loyalty . . . He's not much for passionate declarations of love, the way Anakin is, but he'll dismiss his own reservations and honor the requests of someone he trusts, even if their ideas are not the most brilliant in the universe . . . poor old Obi. He'll give absolutely everything he has to give--they guy won't even stay dead until after Luke offs the Emperor--but things sometimes just . . . don't turn out right.

And yeah, Kemé's a weirdo even by Qui-Gon's standards, which is saying something. I have this feeling that she would have been close to Dooku before he fell to the dark side. They coould be weirdos with strange lightsaber hilts together. I don't think he'd have tried to convert her the way he did Obi-Wan, though. Obi-Wan can be fierce and relentlessly obedient, which are pluses in a Jedi or a Sith. Kemé's a good light side philosopher, but she's pretty useless for the dark side. They probably don't want any poetry about the shiny raindrops of evil.

(For those who haven't read about her, I tend to write Qui-Gon's alternate-EU first student, Kemé, as a slightly mad Zen nun.)

That is such a perfect image of who Obi-Wan really is.

Loving in his own way, but a wee bit prickly . . . that's the way I see him too. I rather like that he never quite seems to lose his prickle ("Should I have?").

And the last paragraph was beautiful. Now you've got the JA bug! (or, since you said you'd been bitten by it a long time ago, you're beginning to feel it's effects.)

Thank you very much for your kind words, especially given the great JA stuff you turn out yourself . . . and yes, I've read JA-era fanfic for years--even wrote some a *really* long time ago (which isn't very good, so I won't link to it). I was just writing a Huge Freaking Fanfic Novel for most of the time I've been on TFN, and had no time to write anything else.

JS wrote: Oh, I loved it!

Thank you, it makes my day when people say things like that . . . Some autho

 

he?d been frustrated to the point of tears by Qui-Gon?s own eccentricities.

He's not the only one....the poor Council

The thought of an undertaking *that* massive left Qui-Gon feeling slightly faint

Perfect. That one sentence wraps up just how overwhelming it feels to be in charge of something so percious as a child. Wonderfully sweet!

 

Qui-Gon must have been so proud of Obi-wan knowing he wanted to build his sabre just like his.
He tried not to upset an already upset boy
Just like a Father figure.



?I can?t help you unless you tell me,? Qui-Gon told him.

?Well, you know . . . it was sort of supposed to look like yours.?


//Oh\\



He wants so much to be like his Master.

Lovely very mushhyy..

 

Lady_Snow_Kaguya wrote: He's not the only one....the poor Council

You know, I hadn't thought of that, but you have a point. Pretty much the whole galaxy has had to put up with Qui-Gon's eccentricities.

Perfect. That one sentence wraps up just how overwhelming it feels to be in charge of something so percious as a child. Wonderfully sweet!

Thank you . . . and I know what you mean. I don't have kids of my own, but I do have 14-year-olds who can't read walk into my classrom, and I think, "Oh. My. Lord. That kid has got to be able to function in society in 4 years, and it's my job to get him there."

Gkilkenny wrote: Qui-Gon must have been so proud of Obi-wan knowing he wanted to build his sabre just like his.

Yeah . . . there are lots of different ways to imagine Obi-Wan at this age--TPM is still a loooong way off--but I don't imagine him as the kind of kid who would come out and tell Qui-Gon how he felt about him. He has his own ways of communicating what he means, though.

Just like a Father figure.

I tend to write Obi & Qui like that . . . when I saw TPM, I just assumed that Qui-Gon treated all kids the way he did Anakin, and that the coolness between him and Obi-Wan was because Obi-Wan was at that "push 'em out of the nest and see if they fly" stage. It never occurred to me that they would have interacted that way when Obi-Wan was still quite young. So I tend to write them significantly mushier than seems to be standard.

He wants so much to be like his Master.

Yeah . . . *I* think there are times even in TPM when Obi-Wan gives Qui-Gon a kind of "I wanna be just like you when I grow up" look, but I've been told I'm wrong. Anyway, 13 is a big hero-worship age.

Thank you both very much for replying--I appreciate it.

 

Obi-Wan seemed to have been trying to keep the tears from spilling, but at last he had to blink. A teardrop escaped his left eye; then one escaped on the right, and both ran heavy and fast down his cheeks. Perhaps releasing even that much emotion helped to steady him, because he managed to say, almost casually, ?Well, you know . . . it was sort of supposed to look like yours.?

That seems so much like Obi-Wan! He dresses simlarly enough to Qui-Gon in TPM that you can see a strong desire to follow his master. And you can just see him looking for forgiveness and approval when he apologizes to Qui-Gon Naboo. Qui-Gon is so understanding and fatherly then as well; he knows by then that Obi-Wan thinks ahead much better than he does. It's the same with the lightsaber, except with the added drama and emerging teenage angst that comes with Obi-Wan only being thirteen. This is a wonderful little story.

 

This was lovely. I loved that Qui-Gon realized just what he had to do in order to get Obi-Wan to realize that he needed to start smaller and work his way up. Loved too, that Qui-Gon knew what a gift Obi-Wan was giving him in making the saber like his.

I especially liked.

Obi-Wan was not a person who was very comfortable with expressing emotion in words, so Qui-Gon spared him any elaborate declaration of personal feelings. Instead he just put his hands on the boy?s shoulders and bent down so he could look his apprentice in the eye. ?Thank you,? he said, with a sincerity he hoped Obi-Wan understood.

The boy probably did, since he got a bit fidgety, and had a pleased look on his face despite the fact that he avoided Qui-Gon?s gaze again. He didn?t appear to feel so awkward that he needed to back away, however, so the Master Jedi took a chance on embracing him. The boy hugged him back hard, half-crushing Qui-Gon?s ribcage.

Qui-Gon certainly knew how to get his Learner past the frustrations inherent in being a Padawan.

Great job.

 

ardavenport wrote: That seems so much like Obi-Wan! He dresses simlarly enough to Qui-Gon in TPM that you can see a strong desire to follow his master. And you can just see him looking for forgiveness and approval when he apologizes to Qui-Gon Naboo.

That's a good point . . . all indications suggest that he loves the old dingbat like a father--or whatever the Jedi equivalent is--despite the fact that Ewan and Liam's screen chemistry seemed slightly off. When I imagine Obi-Wan's relationship with Qui-Gon, I always remember that on the TPM DVD, GL mentioned that Padawan learners were only 7 or 8 when they were placed with Jedi Knights . . . kids are still learning to read and losing their baby teeth at that age. Whatever the EU says about Obi-Wan's youth, when GL was directing TPM, he was imagining that Obi-Wan had been tagging along behind Qui-Gon since he was the same age as an Earth second-grader. That's long enough for a Master Jedi to be a real parent. I actually like that version even better than my "alternate EU" one, and wish I'd heard it before I made it up.

It's the same with the lightsaber, except with the added drama and emerging teenage angst that comes with Obi-Wan only being thirteen. This is a wonderful little story.

Thank you so much for reading and posting to say you liked it . . . feedback always makes my day.

dianethx wrote: This was lovely. I loved that Qui-Gon realized just what he had to do in order to get Obi-Wan to realize that he needed to start smaller and work his way up. Loved too, that Qui-Gon knew what a gift Obi-Wan was giving him in making the saber like his.

Thank you . . and your're right that it's a good thing that Qui-Gon kept his eyes open for things like that. Missing a sign that a kid is trying to give you the greatest compliment he knows how can be crushing for the little guy.

Qui-Gon certainly knew how to get his Learner past the frustrations inherent in being a Padawan.

I guess I imagine Qui-Gon as the kind of teacher who can respect a kid as a person, and realize that there are things that suit him and things that don't, just like anybody else. It can be a hard judgment call, since sometimes kids just need to do things they really don't want to, and you can't take their preferences into account . . . but Qui-Gon's got the Force, so he has an edge in the "guess which way to jump" department."

Thank you very much for reading and replying, too, by the way--I really appreciate it.

 

Awwww...that was so sweet



I loved how Obi-Wan wanted his lightsaber to be just like Qui-Gon's.

Great job on this

 

aw - i love this...

Obi and Qui are both spot on...

Beautifully written...wonderful

 

Awww this was such a sweet short story! .. u left me wishing for more

I love the characterizations of both Obi Wan and Qui Gon.. i think u remained very loyal to how we see them in the movies, so very good job!

 

Honestly, my first thought was "Oh, I love that song, but if this is a song fic, I quit."

I'm so glad I looked!

What a delightful relationship you've built between them (I wish I'd heard that about becoming Apprentices, too.... But it only makes my own fics a little more believable! Thanks!). It was lovely, well written.

Thanks so much for sharing.

Just Jill

 

Really cute, I love the way Obi wanted a lightsaber just like his Master's

A really sweet one shot

 

Wow . . . lots of old stories popping up all of a sudden! Thanks very much for reading and replying, guys.

KELIA -- According to the visual dictionaries, anyway, Jedi Padawans tend to build their lightsabers to resemble their Masters' "as a sign of respect." Obi-Wan's TPM saber does look pretty similar to Qui-Gon's.

Presumably he's figured out all the tricky inside bits by then.

Kestrel_Kenobi -- Thank you! And thank you for taking the time to check out the story and respond. I appreciate it.

Veloz -- I haven't actually read the JA books, and therefore cannot technically be said to write JA , so I try for at least a plausible version of the way the characters come across in the films. It's been pointed out to me 9,000 times that there's as much or more evidence that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's relationship was always icy, but I don't care, so I don't write them that way.

Just_Jill wrote: "Oh, I love that song, but if this is a song fic, I quit."

LOL! I wrote a poem fic once, which I think works about the same as a songfic, but that's about it. Well, unless you want to count the "songfic" I wrote as a challenge in the OC Writers Anonymous thread, where you had to write a songfic with a Mary Sue in it--just to make things even "better." I believe I had Obi-Wan and an appalling Mary Sue singing "Fairy Tale of New York"--which starts out, "It was Christmas Eve, babe, in the drunk tank . . ." just for the record.

I have a tendency to name things after songs or twists on titles of "real" books, because I'm not actually very good with titles.

Healer_Leona -- Yeah, even Dame Dismal of Angst gets sweet and mushy occasionally. (I can't claim to be the Queen of Angst--you have to go pretty far down the peerage to get to me. "Dame Dismal"--or perhaps Doña Dismal! Maybe I'm Spanish--is about right.) And Qui-Gon does seem to be the sort who would take the whole "lethal weapon" thing very seriously--which is always for the best.

MASTER_KAYM -- Thank you . . . and kids that age still go out of their way to imitate admired adults--they're just dreadfully sensitive about it, and will scream at you if accused of "copying." Qui-Gon managed to dodge a laser bolt there by taking Obi-Wan *very* seriously. Not taking a middle school adolescent seriously has been known to be fatal--at least to the blundering adult.

Thanks once again for taking the time to read and let me know you liked the story, everybody. I very much appreciate it.

 

I read this and promptly dissolved into mush all over again. You manage to bring out the little intricacies of their relationship so well. Especially, like you said, Qui-Gon dodging a laser-bolt with that part. He had an instinctive handle on the right thing to do.

Actually, I can't help feeling that this is how it more or less was, later on their relationship (canon-wise.). Obi has that self-assured manner in TPM. Sometimes. [I haven't seen the movie in years, so I'm having some difficulty recalling the exact scenes.]

I'd love to read another vignette.

 

The work was so valiant an attempt, but so utterly, spectacularly hopeless a project for a boy of Obi-Wan?s age, that Qui-Gon didn?t know whether to laugh fondly at the well-intentioned tangle, or weep with the poor child, whose spirit so painfully outstripped his abilities. Either reaction would have been unforgivable from Obi-Wan?s perspective, of course, and so Qui-Gon did neither. He also managed to stifle the urge to remonstrate with him gently, starting with the abhorred name ?Little one.? That was every Jedi child?s standard-issue pet name until he got to be around Obi-Wan?s age, at which time all self-respecting Padawan learners began refusing to answer to it.

Oh, dear Ophelia, besides this being one of my favorite stories for months, let me tell you that I have wanted to light candles in your name, or give alms to the poor for that statement. Obi-Wan is a young man, not a 'little one'. Refreshing view of them is why I have loved this one so much.

Obi-Wan?s expression was hard to read?there seemed to be a spark of hope there, mixed in with deep disappointment.

Brilliant! Who among us can't recognize this feeling?

Actually, Obi-Wan probably hadn?t been properly fed in many hours, and before too long it would be the time he usually went to sleep. ?Why don?t we try it again tomorrow,? Qui-Gon said. ?If you like, I can help you find a grip that looks a bit like mine, but will take a single power cell. Would that be all right?? In a rare role reversal, he waited for a sign of his student?s approval. It was Obi-Wan?s blade, after all, and while Qui-Gon could offer guidance and support, the boy himself was ultimately responsible for choosing the saber?s design and doing the work of building it.

Great answer! Just the one a wise man worthy of training Obi-Wan would make and not the big lug-head that so many write him as .

Yes, I have loved this one for the months I have been lurking, but today I am telling you about it. I have read some of your others stories, but I chose my favorite to let you know how amazing I think you are.

 

Aww!! That was absolutely adorible!! I love that Obi-Wan tried so hard to copy Qui-Gon's lightsaber. This is a very sweet and well-written piece