Before - Legends They Are---Qui-Gon, Dooku. oneshot. ...vs. pirates.

Title: They Are
Author: Charmisjess
Timeframe: Pre-JA
Rating: PG
Author's Note: I thought it would be fun to try to write an in-motion word picture of Qui-Gon and Dooku, in all of their confessional glory. Kind of a fanfictional experiment. Present tense, all-knowing perspective. The Force's POV, you might say, or history's. Weird, but I hope you enjoy it. I had a good time with this one. I hope it makes *some* sense.


~*~



This is an image of Qui-Gon Jinn and his Master Dooku. They are running through a hallway thick with blaster bolts, green and gold blades waving off the deadly laser storm.

They are saving the galaxy.

That is, if you asked Qui-Gon.

If you were to, perchance, ask Dooku, he would roll his eyes and tell you that Qui-Gon is just over-excited by the mission, and would do well to meditate on their objective.

He would say all of this calmly and sternly, as if inside he isn?t a bright ball of static excitement in his own right. The lightsaber bits are by far his favorite part of being a Jedi, although he might even admit to liking research too, under certain circumstances.

(?Perhaps, only to a particular lady archivist he, on rare occasion, likes to impress.)

Dooku has long dark hair, usually swept up into a ponytail. If he?s feeling particularly elegant, he?ll draw it up halfway, leaving the bottom bit loose. His Padawan always thought it looked nicer that way, but he certainly wouldn?t say so to the Master.

As it happens, today Dooku is not feeling elegant. His hair is tied out of his way. Today he is saving the galaxy.

He imagines that he looks absolutely ridiculous when he smiles, so he doesn?t very often. The Master has dark eyes: deep brown like kaf with just a touch of honey stirred in. They are very distinctive eyes, and he doesn?t know, but he got them from his father, the last Count of Serenno. He doesn?t know because he has no memory of his father. He only remembers a breeze of his mother. However, what he does remember of his noble parents, and vividly, is that they both gave him up to be a Jedi instead of a Count. And that at the time, at the age of three, he didn?t understand why and had cried into Yoda?s tunic the entire trip back.

So maybe not a great tragedy: the fact that he can?t remember their faces.

In this moment, he is only Dooku, having left everything else behind on Serenno.

The youth: Qui-Gon, pauses at the end of the hallway, chest heaving, his lightsaber pulsing in hand. His Padawan braid is dancing over his shoulder, shadowing his motion. He isn?t sure which way to go, and his eyes find Dooku?s.

Dooku is his compass point.

A slight head tilt from the Master, and they are on their way again. The space pirates definitely picked the wrong transport ship to attack; this is going to be great fun. The best of games for Dooku, a good learning experience for Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon is sixteen, meaning he has known Dooku for almost six years. The boy?s braid just laps his collarbone by now, but it?s about as far as the official Jedi Padawan look gets for him. His crop of light brown hair falls around everywhere, long enough to get in his eyes, but too short to ponytail. The hair is a source of endless woe for his neatly groomed Master.

?But you look like a street urchin!? Dooku often despairs.

For which Qui-Gon has memorized any number of standard Jedi platitude responses about the exterior of a person being less important. But he does try to keep clean, at least, because Dooku is somewhat of an obsessive-compulsive regarding personal hygiene, and more than willing to take desperate measures.

He thinks the galaxy of Dooku. There is something of little boy hero worship leftover, even still, even as they take the steps toward becoming colleagues, rather than Master and Padawan. And among his peers, in a rare contrary moment, Qui-Gon takes odd, secret comfort in thinking that his Master could beat any of theirs in a duel.

Qui-Gon adores most everything about life. He opens his arms

 

I really loved the way the scene kept jumping from POV to POV so that we saw both doing what they do best as well as how they view each other. I was so sad at the last paragraphs.

They walk off together, and everything between them is smooth and good. They are just a boy and his Master now, each proud, and warm, and fond of the other. They don?t have any reason not to believe that it?s going to be like this forever.

Because, for now, for them, everything else is unwritten.

I guess at least Qui-Gon never has to go after his old Master and bring him down.

Great job.

 

Ohhh! Well done my dear!! Looooooooved it! Especially:

He would say all of this calmly and sternly, as if inside he isn?t a bright ball of static excitement in his own right. The lightsaber bits are by far his favorite part of being a Jedi, although he might even admit to liking research too, under certain circumstances.

(?Perhaps, only to a particular lady archivist he, on rare occasion, likes to impress.)

Dooku has long dark hair, usually swept up into a ponytail. If he?s feeling particularly elegant, he?ll draw it up halfway, leaving the bottom bit loose. His Padawan always thought it looked nicer that way, but he certainly wouldn?t say so to the Master.

As it happens, today Dooku is not feeling elegant. His hair is tied out of his way. Today he is saving the galaxy.

He imagines that he looks absolutely ridiculous when he smiles, so he doesn?t very often. The Master has dark eyes: deep brown like kaf with just a touch of honey stirred in. They are very distinctive eyes, and he doesn?t know, but he got them from his father, the last Count of Serenno. He doesn?t know because he has no memory of his father. He only remembers a breeze of his mother. However, what he does remember of his noble parents, and vividly, is that they both gave him up to be a Jedi instead of a Count. And that at the time, at the age of three, he didn?t understand why and had cried into Yoda?s tunic the entire trip back.


lady archivist!

Poor thing crying into Yoda's tunic!

Well done on the descriptions! Loved the describing of Dooku!

I agree with diane on that last lil bit how sad indeed... perhaps it is well that Qui didn't survive to see his Master fall.

 

Excellent vignette! Really enjoyed this unique pov shot. Loved it immensely!!

 

Oh, Jess, my goodness, this was exhilarating. (I tried "fun" and "brilliant," which also apply, but finally hit on a better one.) I think I'm a little out of breath myself; Dooku and Qui-Gon are moving fast and then the story's going even faster to snatch up bits of things that aren't going on right then.

I love the idea of Dooku as a baby star, and that he'd be stern about it but he's really just as excited and having just as much fun. Until it isn't fun any more, of course, and he's a little maddened by the stop at the realization that's so very Qui-Gon and compassionate but could, indeed, get him killed. I love their pride in each other and the way they work so well together, totally different styles but in tune, and the tornado/storm-cloud image is brilliant.

I like the way you have "They are saving the galaxy. That is, if you asked Qui-Gon" and then that Dooku would roll his eyes, but a little bit later that "Today he is saving the galaxy."

I like that he doesn't smile often because he thinks he looks ridiculous, but he laughs when Qui-Gon surprises him with a new (and effective) move.

I went gooshy about him crying on Yoda all the way to the Temple. Poor little one. And yet, with the memory of hiding in the rose garden, I can't help suspecting the Countess wouldn't have held him the way Yoda apparently did.

Dooku as the compass point, and Qui-Gon stopped but still in motion and ready to go, and the very tiny signal to send him on his way were so vivid.

The grooming -- I love Qui-Gon teasing Dooku back about it, and am cracking up at the thought of the "desperate measures," because I'm picturing Dooku -- younger than me and perhaps just a little wild-eyed -- hauling a grimy Qui-Gon into the bath and scrubbing his hair. Shampoo in his eyes, possibly, and I think Dooku's going to need a bath of his own afterward.

They wouldn?t have ever met, if the Jedi hadn?t brought them together. Qui-Gon is what Dooku?s biological family might refer to as ?of low birth.? Dooku realized this at some point, when the Master/Padawan team went to the boy?s homeplanet years back; a hopeless trip to help save an economic disaster zone. During his time there, Qui-Gon never even asked Dooku once about attempting to contact his parents. He did, however, collect a rock.

Dooku isn?t sure what that means, but he thinks it?s very Qui-Gon-like to carry around a bloody rock.

...Awww.

?I am Jedi Master Dooku, and this is my apprentice, Qui-Gon Jinn.? A pause, eloquent as always. ?Perhaps you?ve heard of us." A pause, and an indulgent look to Qui-Gon. "We shall be accepting any and all surrenders at this time.? There are a few confused grunts from the rowdy band, and Dooku raises one eyebrow, his voice managing to sound rather pleasant and deadly together. ?Anyone??

It's too bad he didn't stick around to get along with Obi-Wan.

After he realizes that Qui-Gon is all right, that nothing came of the near-fatal pause, the tightness thaws. The boy looks shaken, so he drops an awkward hand on his Padawan?s shoulder and keeps it there briefly. He is never very physical. But his eyes are all affection; warm amber brown. ?You did well, child.?

*melts*

Qui-Gon?s young features are soft and thankful. He always believes his Master.

It is a mercy that he?ll never know any reason not to.

Oh, Dooku, what will you be thinking....

They walk off together, and everything between them is smooth and good. They are just a boy and his Master now, each proud, and warm, and fond of the other. They don?t have any reason not to believe that it?s going to be like this forever.

Because, for now, for them, everything else is unwritten.

Right.

And the pride in each other, which I loved, I suspect lasts -- at least on one side -- even after the rest shatters.

 

Makes sense? Oh, yes, it makes perfect, lovely, charming sense.

A few favorite bits:

 

This was just wonderful! I love all the imagery. Dooku being stern on the outside and inwardly "a bright ball of excitement" is so absolutely perfect. And I love the little tidbits about grooming techniques -- Dooku's perfect hair, pulled back to save the galaxy or with just a touch of elegance, versus Qui-Gon's despairing fly-away.

The last line in particular just made me ache. Amazing job.

 

...Dooku is somewhat of an obsessive-compulsive regarding personal hygiene

he would get along well with my sister

Qui-Gon adores most everything about life. He opens his arms to embrace every lost soul, stray pet, idea, life, or blade that finds him.



Dooku?s Makashi compliments Qui-Gon?s wild Ataru in all the right places. Dooku is like a tornado, and the boy is his storm cloud. What Qui-Gon leaves open, Dooku is covering, and when Dooku stays low, Qui-Gon flies up. They are both cat and bird, predator and prey together, chasing each other, the air, and perhaps even the enemy, if they should get around to it.

very cool!

It was very adventurous of you to write this in the present tense like that - and you pulled it off wonderfully. Wonderful, wonderful job.

 

What a wonderful 2nd person narrative! Very unusal and nicely done. It describes them in action so well, in the Jedi Zone, I suppose. Wonderful ending, too.

They walk off together, and everything between them is smooth and good. They are just a boy and his Master now, each proud, and warm, and fond of the other. They don?t have any reason not to believe that it?s going to be like this forever.

Because, for now, for them, everything else is unwritten.

They have the whole galaxy ahead of them!

 

Wow! Wow! The omni-PoV which I always Love when it's used well... the pacing, the history, the characterization... to say nothing of the Story!


(?Perhaps, only to a particular lady archivist he, on rare occasion, likes to impress.)

Yah!


He imagines that he looks absolutely ridiculous when he smiles, so he doesn?t very often.

Awwww....


Dooku is his compass point.

Stars, how you write!

And among his peers, in a rare contrary moment, Qui-Gon takes odd, secret comfort in thinking that his Master could beat any of theirs in a duel.


Together they are passion; they are color; they are brilliance.
o wow! o wow!

They are both cat and bird, predator and prey together, chasing each other, the air, and perhaps even the enemy, if they should get around to it.

If they get round to it.


Because, for now, for them, everything else is unwritten.
*flings hat, coat, roses to the stage*

Bravo! Bravo! Sheer BRILLIANT writing! Bravo!

 

<3


dianethx: Thank you! I'm really glad my POV swap worked---I wanted to be in both of their heads at once, and I couldn't decide how that was going to work. With Qui-Gon and Dooku, both of their perspectives are so equally appealing...

Kynstar: Kyn!! Are you back online?? Oh, I've missed you! Thank you so much for reviewing! *grin* The archivist part---oh, I went back and forth so much with it! But then I thought, how could I not?

Laurie: Thank you, m'dear, you know how much I treasure your opinion.

PK: Ahhh, you're so sweet. I so much appreciate your feedback on this, especially after you and I have had so many conversations about Dooku's character...
The image of Dooku trying to give Qui-Gon a bath like one might a misbehaving puppy is absolutely! I might have to write that, at some point...
Yes, definitely, some things last between them.

Ara-gon: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! *grin* I'm also happy you liked the duel line. It was a weird thought.

Dreagoddess: Oh, *blushes* it's always the little things that make fics fun, isn't it? I've always personally been fascinated by Jedi hair. Thank you so much, Drea! Your feedback means a great deal, you being such a fabulous author yourself.

Meredith_Kenobi: he would get along well with my sister

Oh wow. A Dookish sister. You poor thing!

Thank you!

ardavenport: I always kind of think of it as a Jedi zone myself. The sort of rhythmn between Master/Padawan...an Anakin/Obi-Wan in the beginning of Ep 3 kind of thing.
Thank you for the review!

leia-dearie!: He imagines that he looks absolutely ridiculous when he smiles, so he doesn?t very often.

Awwww....

*grinning* If you'd like to know the truth about this line...in the course of writing this, my Christopher Lee autobiography literally fell on me. (*mumbles about cats on bookshelf and not properly stacking books*) But, so, naturally, I abandoned what I was doing to flip through, and I came across pictures of Mr. Lee grinning over his kids/wife/friends/amusing things. And he has the goofiest smile. It was absurdly comical, totally unDookish. I kept thinking---no wonder Dooku's so reserved!

Thank you for the kind review, and the flowers!

 

Sheesh, Jess. I hope you feel the need to "expirament" more often, if this is the result!

Brilliance. Your descriptions were alternately hilarious and artful (more often both at once), and I loved the characterizations you wrangled.

The differences of opinions was presented to us at once, here in the beginning, where you first caught our attention so deftly. The description of the actual fight was perfect, and the shift from playful prose to somber, and then almost back again...

I'm very impressed!

 

Fluff-Slayer!


Haha, *sheepish bow* thank you! I enjoy experimenting, although it's sometimes hard for me to tell the good experiments from the bad. (The Good Experiments: Fun POV stories, The Bad Experiments: Dooku trying to chew gum)

I'm so glad you enjoyed this; and really, thank you so much for reviewing. I appreciate you taking the time, and you know, feedback is like author crack to me.