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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends When one become two (the new longer version) updated 10/1/ Obi/qui and others please read I beg you

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi-gonjinn, Jun 20, 2006.

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  1. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    Hi this is my second shot at my first story this time it will be longer I assure you I hope you like

    title/when one becomes two

    author/ obi-gonjinn

    timeframe/pre TPM

    CHACTORS/ OBI-WAN QUI-GON AND OTHERS

    Genre/ AU

    summary/ Obi-wan Kenobi is involved in a fight and soon after is hit by a speeder, he slips into a

    coma for a few weeks and when he wakes up everything seems fine but Qui-gon soon comes to realise that

    Obi-wan is no longer the boy he trained, Obi-wan is now on the rampage and is able to control the

    Galaxy around him. the Jedi are in serious danger and only Qui-gon can stop his psychopathic Padawan

    who now calls himself the Dark Angel, but does Qui-gon have what it takes to kill his own Padawan?

    it is a story about attachment and what it can mean if you and the one you love are on different sides

    things will get nasty. as you learn of the place that is neither dark or light and

    you find out a secret about Obi-wan a secret that Master Yoda has kept safe since Obi-wan's birth.


    Notes/ some spoilers from the Jedi Apprentice books.


    disclaimer/ Star wars is not mine and never will be (but imagine if it did you'd be Rollin in cash!)


    Star wars is the property of George Lucas... I'm just borrowing his Characters for fun!






    CHAPTER ONE OLD FOES


    Obi-wan Kenobi ran along side his Master Qui-gon jinn down an alley their lightsaber drawn, they had

    been sent on a mission to over see two warring planets Rimya and Gallaca as they went through peace

    negotiations, but in the early hours of the morning the king of Rimya was brutally murdered, Obi-wan

    could see the killer up ahead a bounty hunter that went by the name of Death Glove, Qui-gon used the

    force to leap onto a wall about twenty foot high in an attempt to cut the bounty hunter off Obi-wan

    carried on running down the walk way in case the killer doubled back.

    Qui-gon leapt from the wall, knocking the bounty startled hunter to the ground.

    "You are under arrest for the murder of King Bicen you will be escorted to UMMMPHHHH!"

    Obi-wan stared in shock as his mentor's head cracked forwards and fell to the ground with a sickening thud.

    For a few seconds Obi-wan wondered what had happened and then to his horror a man with long jet black

    hair and a semi circle scar stepped out of the shadows it was Xanatos.

    Obi-wan had met Xanatos on the Planet of Bandomeer a few years before hand.

    Xanatos was Qui-gon's former Apprentice who had turned to the dark side, he had tried to kill Obi-wan

    and Qui-gon he had also Tried to blow Bandomeer up, and tried to kill Master Yoda when he invaded the

    Jedi temple then had tried to Blow the temple up he had kidnapped Obi-wans best friend Bant and tried

    to corrupt the planet Telos his home world.

    "YOU! what have you done to Qui-gon!??" Obi-wan demanded raising his lightsaber into a classic defence

    position ready to meet Xanatos's blows when the came. But Xanatos didn't move he just smiled,

    "Don't fret young one I haven't killed him yet, I'm going to kill you first I want Qui-gon to feel the pain that I did when he took my father from me , I want him to look at your lifeless corps and know that it was I who killed you." Xanatos sneered.

    Obi-wan stood still looking at Xanatos then it suddenly dawned on him.

    "You arranged for King Bicen to be killed, How could you he was an innocent man!" Obi-wan said in horror.

    Xanatos laughed and wiped away a few imaginary tears, but the sneer soon returned.

    "listen Kenobi King Bicen was many things innocent was definitely not one of those things, he deserved what he got, just as Qui-gon deserves what he is about to receive!"
    Without any warning Xanatos lunged at Obi-wan and their lightsaber met in a sizzling clash of blue and red fire.

    "would you like me to give Qui-gon a goodbye message, not that I would give it to him." Xanatos

    sneered and went for Obi-wans legs, Obi-wan leapt to avoid the hit and leapt on the high wall and smiled.

    "I
     
  2. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    i know my spelling is rubbish [face_frustrated] please let me know if there are any big mistakes:oops:
    and how i could improve my story line[face_batting]
     
  3. NoemiTenshi

    NoemiTenshi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 24, 2005
    Well bout the spelling I don't know.
    I'm from greek ^__^
    And the story is good so far.
    A little more background about how Xan met with the Jedi wouldn't be bad.
    But I can't complain.
     
  4. DarthStanny

    DarthStanny Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 22, 2006
    that was great i can't wait to read what happends next!!
     
  5. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    chapter one continues x


    Qui-gon Jinn awoke with a start.

    What in the seven hells of the Sith had happened?

    He was arresting the bounty hunter Death glove, the next second without any warning he had been knocked out.

    Qui-gon felt the back of his head gingerly, a large bump had formed.

    Qui-gon got up off of the ground and walked a few steps trying to regain his equilibrium, he felt

    dizzy and sick and was having trouble making sense of situation.

    Qui-gon grabbed hold of a nearby wall and looked around.

    Where was the bounty hunter?

    Where was Obi-wan!?

    Panic grabbed at qui-gon's heart like a ghostly hand.

    Qui-gon's dizzy spell suddenly faded away, he looked around the alley for any sign of his Padawan, but there wasn?t one obi-wan was not here.

    Qui-gon's heart thundered in his chest making him feel light headed.

    Qui-gon realized that he was panicking, so he gathered his and released it into the force.

    There could be a million different reasons as to why Obi-wan was not in the alley way, Qui-gon mentally

    told himself, Obi-wan could be pursuing the bounty hunter right now, after all Obi-wan was a Jedi

    and his duty as such was to bring criminals to justice, not to make sure his Master was ok, plus

    Obi-wan would have seen the blow and known that it was one that would not cause permanent damage.....

    Wait a second! The bounty hunter had been on the ground in front of Qui-gon there was no way that he

    could have knocked him out! That also meant that there were more then three People in the alley way

    there had been four, which meant that Obi-wan was out numbered!

    Qui-gon cleared his mind and allowed the Force to flow through him, then he focused on the bond that he

    shared with his Padawan, It was still there thank the force, but it was clouded and full of pain.

    Obi-wan was badly injured, his life force was unstable.

    Qui-gon thrust himself away from the wall.

    He had to find his apprentice, Qui-gon probed the force for an idea as to which direction Obi-wan was

    in, Qui-gon turned around and allowed the force to guide him, after walking down the abandoned alley

    way he came to a turning point the force guided Qui-gon down it, When he reached the end the end he

    saw a crowd of beings gathered around something in the middle of the road.

    Fearing for the worst, Qui-gon began to push his way through the crowd, if any of the beings were

    bothered by this they didn't say anything, after all Qui-gon was giant of a man and that alone was

    intimidating.

    As Qui-gon got closer to the centre of the throng of beings, a chubby human man dressed in a security

    outfit stopped him and said in a forced gruff voice,

    "I'm sorry sir but you can't come any closer there's been an accident."

    Qui-gon glared at the man and pulled his robe back slightly to reveal his lightsaber.

    "I'm a Jedi and I think that my Padawan has been involved in this accident."

    "A Jedi!" the chubby man said in a squeaky voice "That changes everything, come." with that the chubby

    man led Qui-gon into the inner circle, and it was in that moment that Qui-gon's worst fears were

    confirmed.

    Obi-wan lay motionless on the road surface and a deep wound to his head poured a scarlet river of

    blood down his face.

    Qui-gon ran over to his Padawan and removed his robe and placed it over Obi-wan, he then proceeded to

    rip a part of the fabric off and placed it on his Padawan's, forming a makeshift bandage to help stop

    the bleeding.

    It was then that Qui-gon noticed the body lying a few feet away from his Padawan, someone had placed a

    travelling cloak over the bodies head, to give it some dignity in death.

    Qui-gon got to his feet and moved over to the body, he then lifted the front of the cloak forward in a

    way so that the crowd could not see.

    What Qui-gon saw next almost made him scream, Xanatos's lifeless eyes stared back at him, it must have

    been Xanatos who had knocked him out, but why?

    Xanatos had the perfe
     
  6. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    I hope that the spelling is better [face_praying] I tried my best i hope you like it[face_praying] and i will:_| and8-} go crazy if you don't:_|
    i've tried my best:-B
    i hope you like it:D [face_praying] [face_dancing]


     
  7. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Hi there

    I just read the beginning and it has excitement and pain and angst, for Obi-wan
    all that is required to make a story[face_dancing]

    Dont worry so much about the spelling.
    If you type your draft of the story on a word document
    and then copy and paste it to the posting page the word document tells you which words are spelt wrong and corrects them


    I know cause thats what I do:D

    Keep going I will PM you

    I am reading =D=
     
  8. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    thank you,:D i will use word from now on!:D [face_dancing]
    I don't have word!!!!!!!:_|
     
  9. DarthStanny

    DarthStanny Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 22, 2006
    nice story pour Obi i hope he's alright!
     
  10. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    now to find that out you will have to wait for the ending:p is differnt than the last stories!!!! que the evil laugh mwaaaa haa haaa ha ha [face_skull] mwaaaaaa ha ha haaaaaa [face_skull]

    I'm so evil to you stanny ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
     
  11. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    If you happen to be following this story [face_mischief] it will be updated soon :D
     
  12. DarthStanny

    DarthStanny Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 22, 2006
    hurry i can't wait !=D=
     
  13. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    thank you more is on it's way:)


    does anyone except the three above acctually read my story?:_| [face_frustrated] :_|
     
  14. benkenobi151

    benkenobi151 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2005
    I'm reading it, it's pretty good. I'm waiting.
     
  15. XANl

    XANl Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 1, 2006
    I wish xani did not die. now with obi wan injured this story is turning sad. I like the plot and the idea of this great story. I hope you continue to post the rest of the story. I am intrigued about obi wan's secret, you could give out a little hint.
     
  16. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    no hints not even littel one's que the evil laugh mwaaa ha ha ha ha mwaa ha ha [face_skull] :D thanks for the replys the next installment is on it's way chapter two the waiting game:)
    p.s sorry for killing xanatos [face_worried]
     
  17. chace-windu

    chace-windu Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2006
    hi great story keep it up i canny wait:D
     
  18. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    the story will be a littel while yet [face_worried]
    and i have good reasons :)
    only a few know [face_thinking]

    mwwwwwwwwaaaaa h ha ha ha ha ha aha ha ha ha [face_skull]

    it will be updated soon :D
     
  19. benkenobi151

    benkenobi151 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2005
    Please hurry, I like this story so far.:D
     
  20. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    a couple more weeks :)
    :D
    the next installment should be good I will write more I swear on Qui-gons beard[face_praying]
    [face_laugh]
     
  21. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    I just discoverd word processor hidden deep within the jungle of my computer I didn't even know it was there:oops: :D
    the spellings good now but not anything eles [face_blush]
     
  22. benkenobi151

    benkenobi151 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2005
    I'm still waiting.[face_whistling]
     
  23. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    a couple more days I've just finnished writing the next chapter
    sorry for the wait[face_blush]
     
  24. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    [face_skull] Last night I-) a moth the size of a bird flew into my room :_|
    completly freeked me out it was lookig right at me [face_hypnotized]
    has anyone eles seen a moth as big as a bird or do you think I just found a new
    species or something if so i'm gonna call it
    the lucas moth after the creator :D

    I know you think Im mad but you did not see the size of that moth!
    it was evil I thought it was going to suck all my brains out [face_skull]

    p.s this is not funny as I am afraid of moths they are evil flappy devils
     
  25. obi-gonjinn

    obi-gonjinn Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2006
    With thanks to Micky-nikki your a life saver!@};- [:D]

    well here it is hope you enjoy!




    Qui-Gon paced impatiently across the smooth, blue-gold marble floor of the Royal Gallaca Healing House's waiting room. It had been four standard hours since he had arrived.

    Obi-Wan had been ushered into a private room by several Healers as soon as they had arrived. Apart from one healer called Aurus Tiion, who had only come out to inform Qui-Gon that Obi-Wan was alive and stable, Qui-Gon had heard no word as to his Padawan?s condition.

    Qui-gon knew that if he could be by his Padawan?s side, he could help him heal faster with the aid of the Force. Qui-Gon had mentioned this to a young Healer who had gone to check with her superior, who had then informed Qui-gon that it was against Gallaca?s medical policy. The best thing that Qui-gon could do was wait.

    So Qui-Gon waited as the minutes passed as if they were hours, and the hours as if they were days.

    Qui-Gon couldn?t wait to get off this Force forsaken planet, and get back to the Temple.
    Qui-Gon stopped pacing.

    I should contact the council and inform them of our situation, he thought as he thumbed his utility belt for his comm unit. Once he had it in hand he sat back on one of the large, emerald green stone chairs that lay under the huge windows and punched in the code for the
    Jedi Temple.

    After a few seconds a female voice answered.

    ?Jedi Temple receptionist Kayra Koova speaking, what may I help you with??

    ?Hello, this is Knight Qui-Gon Jinn. I would like to be put through to the Council immediately. Please, it?s urgent.? Qui-Gon waited for a few seconds as Kayra went to check on something. She returned a short while later, out of breath.

    ?I?m sorry master Jinn, but the Council is currently in a locked session. Would you like me to tell them that you made contact as soon as the session is over??

    ?Yes, thank you,? Qui-Gon said. ?May the Force be with you,? he added as an afterthought.

    ?May the Force be with you to master Jinn,? the girl replied.

    Qui-Gon cut the transmission and returned the comm unit to his belt. He slumped back into the stone chair.

    The Council sometimes took up to a whole day, if not more, to resolve certain issues, but Qui-gon didn?t want to be on this planet any longer than tomorrow. He just wanted to get his Padawan back to the Temple where he could receive the best care in the galaxy.

    Qui-Gon let out a heavy sigh. He hadn?t slept in two days. True, it was not long for a Jedi Knight, but with Obi-Wan sick it was beginning to get to him.

    The bump on the back of his head did not serve to make him feel any better. It was now ten times more painful then when it had happened.

    Qui-Gon quieted his mind, preparing to slip into a light meditation, but it seemed that today the Force was going to grant him no such liberties.

    ?I?m sorry for interrupting you, master Jinn, but you said you knew who the dead Human man was,? a male Mon Calimari said in a quiet voice.

    ?Yes, I did know him a long time ago. He was my apprentice,? Qui-Gon said, feeling suddenly old beyond his years.

    The Mon Calamari shifted slightly under Qui-Gon's gaze.

    ?Well, we were wondering if you had any plans as to what we should do with the body,? he asked Qui-Gon.

    ?I don?t know,? Qui-Gon said, getting up from the stone chair and looking out through the window across Gallaca?s lush landscape.

    Xanatos had taken so much of Qui-Gon away when he had betrayed him. But, then again, there had once been a compassionate, loving boy who had won Qui-Gon?s heart. That part of Xanatos deserved a farewell.

    ?Cremate him,? Qui-Gon stated and turned from the window.

    ?Will you be attending?? the Mon Calamari asked.

    ? Yes,? Qui-Gon replied ?there is a little boy I wish to say goodbye to.?

    ?Okay... the ceremony shall be ready within the next hour.? The Mon Calamarian walked away, looking slightly confused.

    Once he was gone, Qui-Gon allowed himself to slip into a light meditation, completely una
     
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