Saga J_L's Drabble Challenge stuff - Week 18: Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon

This thread is a response to the Ultimate Drabble Challenge in Resource. Join if you dare!


Week 1:
~~~~~~~~

1. beginnings

I ran down the hall, reading the placards on every door I flew past. My first day in the Senate and I was late.
I turned a corner and crashed into the diplomatic contingent from Malastare. At least I think that is who they were. They yelled at me in a language I have never heard before while I scrambled to pick up their scattered datapads.
A pretty young woman knelt down to help me.

"You're the new aide from Naboo?"

"Yes," I replied, blushing now to be found in such a predicament by this beautiful girl. "I'm Cos Palpatine."

~~~~~~~~

2. middles

?Come on, Cos. You can go over those reports tomorrow. Let?s go have some fun for once.?

?No, Rin. I need to finish this tonight. The Senator needs it for her presentation to the committee tomorrow.?

?It can wait a bit longer, can?t it??

?No it? What are you doing, Rin??

?Just loosening you up a bit, we?re alone right??

?Well, yes, but here, on the desk??

?I wouldn?t want to pull you away from your precious work.?

?Oh. Okay, but shouldn?t we at least lock the door??

?Sure. Now let?s see about killing two mynocks with one stone, love.?

~~~~~~~~

3. ends

I crumpled the flimsi and tossed it into the bin.
Choose between her and the Senate? Was she mad?
When I was elected Junior Senator, I told her things would change.
My long hours got longer, trips away from Coruscant more frequent.
She had some silly, romantic notion that we should run off and raise Shaak back home.
I am serving the people, I will not abandon that post!

?Just think of all the good I do for the galaxy,? I told her.

?The galaxy would move on without you,? she said.

She doesn't understand how much they need me.

~~~~~~~~

4. first

He is strong with the Force. His small planet overlooked; the Jedi?s search for potentials never focuses outside their beloved Senate.
He shall never be one of their kind.
All the better for me that the lad has lead a difficult life, suffering much grief and hard labor for one so young.
With my help he will learn to channel that anger into a power the Jedi have no desire to possess, the fools.
My Master was weak; he loved me far too much. This one I will suffer no such kindnesses.
He shall be my apprentice and my tool.

~~~~~~~~

5. last

He hates me for what I have done to him. His anger is full and powerful.
It is good; it makes him stronger.
I have worked harder on this one than the others before him, groomed him from the time we met.
He was but a child then and my challenge was great for my eternal enemy claimed him as their own.
Now he stands before me, blaming me for the demise of his wife and child, for the hideous visage he glimpses in mirrors.
He burns now as passionately as he has loved.
This one will not fail me.

 

Nicely done! It seems such a foreign concept to see the human side of the Palpatine. In so many, many ways he remains the faceless monster. He had to start somewhere, though...

You realize, of course, that reading this has started the wheels turning in my head. Now I wonder where exactly Palpatine came from. I want to see him in his innocence, preferably with a good family being taught sound morals. Then I want to see where it all goes wrong!!

Zonoma

 

Wow. I had no idea that you could do so much with a drabble.
This is a real eye opener for me.



I loved the way you arranged this. You got so much of Palpatine's character across in such a tiny amount of space.

**awestruck**

 

Those are wonderful! You did a great job with just a few words!

 

Wonderful JL - I really enjoyed these.

 

Very nice take on Palpatine! I love how the first three drabbles focused on something as normal as his relationship with Rin. ("Middles" was hilarious, and I loved the dialogue-only aspect of it. )

 

Nice job on capturing a very different side to Palpatine.

The first three drabbles almost made him seem likable.

Great response to the challenge

 

Z: oooh, turning wheels. that means plot bunnies are brewing. go ahead, Z, you know you want to.

oqi: really? wow. yeah, i guess i thought so at first, but then you start writing them and it becomes like potato chips. also awesome for keeping DWB at bay! why i wrote these as Palpatine, i'll never know, but it was fun to explore a different side to him.

VaderLVR: thanks! that's the challenge to these little things, of course, is getting as much bang for the buck as you can.

Kes: thanks, hon!

jedi_of_ennth: thank you! i actually went with A Christmas Carol with Palpy, here. i thought it would be interesting to put him in the Scrooge mould and see where it went.

KELIA: thanks! i had fun trying to give his youth a sympathetic angle.

 

Wow...great job J_L! You really did a great job showinf the human side of Palpatine. It's almost like he use to be a dedicated senator...maybe even a loving boyfriend?

 

thanks, Alley!

alrighty then. time for week 2:

Through Yoda's Eyes

6. hours
Good to see the young man smile, it is. Long did I hope Qui-Gon, another Padawan, would take. A youngling no more, is the ginger-haired boy. Proud of his braid, he is. The Force flows through him, shines, like a beacon, it does. Pleased I am that Padawan and Master have found each other. Hard will their training be, much sorrow before them, I foresee. Need each other, they will. Their bonds will keep them going and much good they will do for the galaxy. Wonder, I do, what the Knight will be like when Padawan he no longer is.

7. days
A dueling competition, Padawan Kenobi, has won. Many relax after such success, but like most, this young one is not. Meditated long after his triumph, then enter the training salle three days ago, he did, and has not emerged yet. I asked Master Jinn what his Padawan was doing. Told me, he did, that Padawan Kenobi learned much during the duel, changing all his stances he is, to make a better defense. A master duelist, that Padawan shall be someday, if pursue his technique so rigorously he continues to do. I shall watch the student of my student more closely.

8. weeks
Gone, his Master is. A rebellious Jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn was, but a good Master to Obi-Wan. Now a terrible burden his Padawan chooses to carry. Anakin, strong in the Force, he is, but full of fear. And now a new Knight trains him. Meet with Obi-Wan in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, I shall. See to their progress, I must. Grieves, he still does for his Master. Hides it from the boy, I suspect he does. A Jedi?s strength does not flow from secrecy. Learn to show his sadness, he must, and then learn to move on, he shall.

9. months
Returned unharmed, General Kenobi, has. Relieved I am to see this. Many friends he has seen fall. Grey hair, shows it does, on his temples. A great Jedi Master, he has become. Proud of him, is the Council. A space is ready in here for a new member. Tomorrow we meet and offer him the position, rest and food he needs first. Already know his reaction I do. Humble he shall be, claiming he is unworthy of the position. But accept it he will, he knows where his duty lies and he will serve the Council and the Republic well.

10. years
Strange it is to see him before me again. Aged him much, the desert sand has. Blue and glowing, a boy he no longer is. Long gone is his clan. Long gone are his friends. Many years, my friend, watched over you, I did. Now come to watch over me you have. Not long will we have to wait. The boy is coming. Sit with me now, this old Jedi will. Talk of the past and the future we shall. Ben he is called now. Likes the name he says he does, but Obi-Wan to me, he shall always be.

 

Impressive job you have done.

Captured Yoda's character well you have.

Enjoyed Yoda's reflection of Obi-Wan's life I did.

 

These are absolutely fascinating Jennifer_Lyn! I am impressed by how much depth you have conveyed in both of these posts.

Two thumbs way up!

 

Great drabbles! Very much enjoyed Yoda's POV did I. Palpatine's human side was nicely captured as well. I liked the creepy forshadowing in Ends, it ties in neatly with First and Last. Hours is my favorite in the second set. "Wonder, I do, what the Knight will be like when Padawan he no longer is." is definitely my favorite line so far. So much emotion, in so few words. Especially since we know what will happen.

 

Excellent, as always.
A Jedi?s strength does not flow from secrecy. Learn to show his sadness, he must, and then learn to move on, he shall.

The last one gave me chills.

 

Yeah I agree, they're absolutely amazing! Very nice!

 

Your description of Palpatine is somewhat shocking-- i've never expected to see him young and in love-- yet by 'ends' you can already see the darkness creeping in.

and I think you captured Yoda's voice perfectly in the second set.

jcs

 

J_L ~ I absolutely love reading your drabbles. Somehow, you manage to get inside the heads of the most mysterious characters and make them REAL. Brilliant, as always!

Zonoma

 

aww! thanks everyone! i'm so glad you're enjoying these. i'm having an absolute blast writing them. they are by far the best solution to keeping Darth Writer's Block at bay.

week 3: Obi-Wan at the end of RotS

11. red
There is something missing here, my mind does not accept what I know in my heart. She looks fine and healthy, a young woman in her prime, ready for motherhood. The children arrive one by one, crying out as if they already know what their future holds. I hold them, startled how strongly the Force flows through them. Then something shifts and she begins to fade, but it is wrong. These babes need her and yet still she goes. It is quiet and sedate, in war one forgets that death need not be so bloody and violent, drenched in red.

12. grey
Master Yoda speaks and I hear him, but I cannot react. I simply sit and I stare. He knows the grief I am not allowing myself to feel, knows I need time to think and make my mind understand what has happened. Yet he continues on, making plans, arranging things, staying strong until we are safe. I can do none of these things. I understand his plans, they are sound, I have no objections. We have little choice now. And still, all I can do is sit and stare at the man across from me and his clean, grey uniform.

13. white
They gave me a cabin. There is a bunk there, a lamp, a desk, a chair. Food will be sent to me, hot and comforting, perhaps even a cup of steaming tea. They mean well and do what they can for me, a few last comforts before sending me out on the hard road ahead.

I do not use that bunk, I do not eat that food. It is good and it is whole, but it is not for me. For now I walk these bright, white corridors. The blank color a soothing consistency in a world turned inside out.

14. black
I usually look out into the vastness of space and am dazzled by the stars. Many I have visited myself, so many more I know nothing about. I think of the map room and how the stars whirl around you and all you must do to learn about them is to reach out and touch one. But that room is no more. Tonight things are different and I understand negative space more clearly. Now I do not see the stars, but the black space, the void, in between each one. Such powerful distances that dark matter places between the stars.

15. blue
He opens his eyes as I climb aboard the eopie. I whisper to him ?All will be well, you are going to live with family. They will care for you.? His blue eyes fix upon mine and for a moment I think to care for him myself, raise him as my own. Then I remember another pair of blue eyes grown red in anger at the sight of me and I know that I cannot keep him. I have too much sadness and pain within me to raise him and I fear my own failure too much to even try.

 

Lovely JL - the last one had me !

Wonderful work

 

Poor Obi Wan! You really captured his emotions. In Red, he realizes that he's forgotten that there are other ways to die besides killing and violence. White and Grey paint an especially vivid picture of his grief. He can't eat, he can't sleep, he can't even plan his own journey. It's just too much for him. In Blue, he thinks himself too much a failure to even try to raise another child, but Black was my favorite.

I usually look out into the vastness of space and am dazzled by the stars. Many I have visited myself, so many more I know nothing about. I think of the map room and how the stars whirl around you and all you must do to learn about them is to reach out and touch one. But that room is no more. Tonight things are different and I understand negative space more clearly. Now I do not see the stars, but the black space, the void, in between each one. Such powerful distances that dark matter places between the stars.

You can feel his pain, even though he never expresses any. In a way, he and Anakin are stars, separated by Anakin's acceptance of the Dark Side. The metaphor is beautiful.

Brilliant Job!

 

As always I contend you write the most convincing Obi-Wan.

Now I must gush...

Red: I loved the insight.
It is quiet and sedate, in war one forgets that death need not be so bloody and violent, drenched in red.
That was quite eloquently put! Wow.

The details here are intoxicating. I have to resist the temptation of quoting every drabblicious word here.
I think of the map room and how the stars whirl around you and all you must do to learn about them is to reach out and touch one. But that room is no more. That was awesome.

And that last one. The temptation to take Luke as his own halted by his own guilt. Poor Obi.

Fantastic work, JL.
Now get back to writing about puppies

 

J_L ~

Tonight things are different and I understand negative space more clearly. Now I do not see the stars, but the black space, the void, in between each one.

I think that I?ve already told you how closely our minds ran on the color black but I feel the desire to tell once more how much I truly enjoy the subject. Hardly anyone discusses the clean, pure darkness between the stars. It is a womb, I think, for our imaginations to grow and build stories.

His blue eyes fix upon mine and for a moment I think to care for him myself, raise him as my own. Then I remember another pair of blue eyes grown red in anger at the sight of me and I know that I cannot keep him.

I loved these lines the first time I read them and I love them still. They ring so? true.

It?s funny, but everyone is thanking me for this challenge that you were so gracious to allow me to use. I am going to point that out in the thread with next week?s drabble set, too. Just in case I haven?t said it this week?

Thank you for this challenge, Jennifer_Lyn!!!!

Your inspired lil? sis,

Zonoma

 

thank you all for your kind words!

i'm sincerly humbled by your responses, they mean so much to me.

Z, you are most welcome and thank you for handling things on this end.

if you all get a little inspiration from these challenges, then i'm just thrilled. they started out as a means to get myself back into weekly writing and i so glad it's helping you all out as well.

*follows oqi's orders and goes back to writing about puppies*

 

I do not use that bunk, I do not eat that food. It is good and it is whole, but it is not for me. For now I walk these bright, white corridors. The blank color a soothing consistency in a world turned inside out.



Awww J_L that was so poignantly powerful! You've captured Obi-Wan's anguish perfectly here. Well done!

 

You captured Obi-Wan's anguish so well...