Before - Legends Once Upon A Drabble (Qui, Dooku, Obi, OC's)~~ Week Eighteen 1/12~~

Author: Layren
Title: Once Upon A Drabble
Summary: My collection of drabbles for the Ultimate Drabble Challenge hosted by Zonoma.
Characters: Qui-Gon, Dooku, Obi-Wan, OC's
Author's Note: This is the first thing I've written solo in a long time I'm very pleased with how it turned out. Feedback is much appreciated. The drabble titled First, is also in response to the Qui-Gon First Padawan challenge with my character who used to be a Mary Sue, Lay'ren Tholan. I have dusted her off from the bunny stack and this is her first appearance on the boards

Edits -- for grammar and editing the title bar to show characters.


Beginnings

The beginnings of a mission are fraught with promise. Qui-Gon is eager to leave. He has only been off planet twice in his life.

Dooku admonishes him gently. They are doing a service as servants of the Force.

Qui-Gon is still excited. Servants or not, the mission will be lengthy and the planet has an abundance of plant life. He is thrilled about getting to be outdoors.

Dooku is exasperated that Qui-Gon is looking forward to the plants the most. He resolves to make sure Qui-Gon brings nothing home with him.

He has not fully recovered from the last time.



Middles

The middle of the mission is always the busiest. It's when things are going well and the enemy has had time to keep watch on their prey. Negotiations go smoothly, until the middle when the padawan is taken. To say the Master is displeased with his apprentice's capture would be an understatement.

It takes a great amount of control for him to continue the negotiations despite his padawan's kidnapping.

Dooku never has been very good about sharing missions. But here he has no choice to call for backup. His hands are tied. He hates it when his hands are tied.


Ends

The rescue team finds his apprentice, thank the Force. He looks terrible and half-starved after having been held for almost a month while the negotiations continued. Bacta and Healers will be necessary, Dooku's gaze runs over his beaten apprentice, assessing the injuries.

One bleary eye cracks open. "Master?"

Dooku smiles. "Padawan," he says, holding his hand.

"I have failed you, Master, I'm sorry," Qui-Gon says. He has been given a chance to atone for failing and ruining the mission.

"Stars child, you haven't failed. This was not your fault. Hush now. It's over."

"Yes, Master," he replies, his eyes closing


First


I am Master Jinn's first apprentice. I've been an apprentice for four years. Today I am doing birthday meditation. I remember when Master Qui-Gon came to the crèche that day to watch initiates spar. I had never dreamed in my mind he would choose me.

I remember Myrah encouraging me. She told me Master Qui-Gon would pick me. She's only eight, two years younger than I am and she is Master Josel's padawan. She was chosen at four. I was picked almost at the same time she was. I was six.

We remember the past to learn lessons from it.


Last

When he awoke that morning, on Coruscant, he had no idea it would be the last day of his apprenticeship. He had no idea that he would defeat a Sith, lose his Master, and acquire an apprentice all in the same day.

It had to be one of the worst days of his life. So many things went so wrong that day. If only Qui-Gon had waited for him to catch up.

So many if only's. It would not do to dwell on the past and forget the present. He would be a credit to his Master's teaching and legacy.

 

When he awoke that morning, on Coruscant, he had no idea it would be the last day of his apprenticeship. He had no idea that he would defeat a Sith, lose his Master, and acquire an apprentice all in the same day.

It had to be one of the worst days of his life. So many things went so wrong that day. If only Qui-Gon had waited for him to catch up.

Of course the Obi lover in me would latch onto that part in particular, but you did a great job with all of the characters, following the trail of time as each in turn moved from apprentice to master.

I liked how you used the not-as-popular first person and present tense. It gave the drabbles a neat, unique feel.

 

Excellent drabble, Layren. I think Ends is my favorite. We see Dooku's displeasure at his appretice's capture and his irritation at asking for help, but to the Padawan's face, he is all peace and assurance. Excellent contrasts.

I also like the young padawan's thoughts on being chosen as Qui-Gon's first apprentice. Is she jealous of being chosen as an older innitiate?

Good job shaking up the pov and persons involved as well.

 

Interesting. I read very little with Dooku as a Master.

KT

 

Starved him did you? Poor Qui
Only you, my dear old Master!

But the fact you had him in some of these!

Well done! Drabbles are juz a mite bit difficult for me to tackle so I applaud your dabbling in it! Perchance one day, mayhap I'll dabble with a drabble

 

References like this always make me laugh, partly because my brain doesn't do a "young Qui-Gon" image too well--so I see the adult version chasing after some little fuzzy thing...

"Ends" and "Lasts" were especially wonderful. You're really rocking the drabble challenge here, lady!

Same time next week?

 

Yay Layren's drabbling!

Wonderful m'dear...I enjoyed them all!

 

Aww. You wrote Dooku.


I really liked this. And how you divided them all up, pretty clever! More??

 

Great entry!

Dooku is exasperated that Qui-Gon is looking forward to the plants the most. He resolves to make sure Qui-Gon brings nothing home with him.
He has not fully recovered from the last time.

Loved that.

I liked the flow of the drabbles, especially the feel and pacing of "Middles".

 

Wonderful work, Layren! I especially enjoyed Beginnings and Last. I loved Dooku thinking about how he couldn't stand Qui-Gon to bring something else home with him... and I especially adored the idea of that last morning Obi-Wan had to wake up with everything "okay" before the world went to pieces. We're all like that after a major loss. It is just... natural.

Much

I like this idea of drabbles. Wee little bits for me to read when I only have time for... a wee little bit.

 

Wonderfully done Layren!

The corresponding histories of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are so well done. You really get a strong sense of their characters.

We remember the past to learn lessons from it.

It would not do to dwell on the past and forget the present.

I thought these two lines were just great! Tells a lot about Obi-Wan's state of mind at those different times. Great drabbles!

Cheers,
Wyo

 

Layren ~

Forgive me for allowing personal quirks to dictate me favorite, but I loved BEGINNINGS. The very idea that Dooku hadn't recovered from the last time that Qui brought home a new plant is hilarious to me.

My grandfather once came to visit in the South from Colorado and saw wysteria. He being an avid gardener and wysteria being a beautiful vine, he insisted on finding some in the wild and digging it up. He took it home, put it in the corner of the yard, tended to it faithfully. He was baffled and frustrated by the lack of blooms next spring. Of course, he was also baffled and frustrated by the vicious recurring rash he had aquired in the past year- until a friend, native Southern friend, asked him why he had poison ivy in his garden.

So yeah, I like BEGINNINGS.

Zonoma

 

*stares at Zonoma, covers mouth* Oh, no.... I hope your grandfather was able to kill it once he knew? I hear it can be hard to get rid of.

I hope that's not the kind Qui-Gon adopted! You'd think he'd be able to sense something. Or that Dooku would, for that matter.

Of course, there is the complication that some people have the odd genetic blessing of not reacting to poison ivy....

 

He resolves to make sure Qui-Gon brings nothing home with him.

I wonder how many time Qui broke that resolve?

I loved the different POV's - Obi's was the most heartbreaking.

Great response to the challenge

 

Very nice! Also, an unusual twist for you to do an Obi pov. You did good work, Lay, my friend. Now if I can only finish my blasted drabbles... lol

 

I loved "begginings" and "ends"!

For on I love the Dooku/Qui master/padawan bind..hee!

Qui-Gon and his plants..oh my!

I also loved how reasuring Dooku was in "ends."

 

Awww, so cute! I love Last... Obi-wan just makes me cry sometimes. Poor guy.

 

BRAVO Layren!!!

When he awoke that morning, on Coruscant, he had no idea it would be the last day of his apprenticeship. He had no idea that he would defeat a Sith, lose his Master, and acquire an apprentice all in the same day.

That was great.

Excellent job.

 

My goodness I had no idea that my little drabbles would get so much attention! I truly am flattered by all of your kind words!

Nienna_Narmolanya But of course! Everyone loves Obi angst I've gotten really fond of writing in present tense for these drabbles, which is really odd because normally I have a very hard time working in first person, yet my muse oddly insists that these drabbles be that way. Thanks for reading!

brodiew Thanks so much! I work hard with Dooku. I'm never quite sure I get his character right, he's a tough one for me to do, so your comments are especially gratifying. As for the OC, she's not jealous per say, she's just reflecting on the fact that she was young to be chosen. Most initiates are chosen around nine and ten. Thanks for reading!

Killik_Twilight Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed them!

Kynstar Of course I did I have fun with Qui whumpage you know even in drabble form and part of the reason I wrote Dooku was for you You should drabble, they're really quite addicting. It's gotten my muse unstuck from where it's been stuck the past several months. Thanks for reading!

Fluff-Slayer I imagine little Qui was always coming home with something or another. I bet Dooku wasn't too fond of what he brought home I'm really glad you liked them and as for next week, I think I'll go ahead and post now instead Thanks for reading!

Kestrel_Kenobi Yep I'm drabbling Glad you enjoyed them. Thanks for reading!

Charmisjess Yep, you were the other one I had in mind when I wrote Dooku. I was inspired by Clasp and They Are Thanks for reading!

jedi_of_ennth Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's kind of hard to pace things with only 100 words to work with Thanks for reading!

Luna_Nightshade Thank you m'dear, and now you've finally read something in Before! See, branching out isn't so bad is it And as for Obi-Wan, I was like that a lot after my open-heart surgery. It is completely natural. Thanks for reading!

WyoJedi I'm actually a little confused, that was from an OC, not Obi-Wan, but glad you enjoyed them just the same Thanks for reading!

Zonoma Wow what a story! That is so something Qui-Gon would do! I may have to steal that and use it in a fic sometime, giving you credit of course That is such a great bunny. Thanks for reading and sharing that story with me!

Persephone_Kore Well it wasn't *this* time As for other times well... like I told Z -- something I can definetely see happening Thanks for reading!

Kelia Probably far too many for Dooku's taste Obi angst is fun to dabble in little bits at a time. Thanks for reading!

Durhelediel Wonders never cease, I did some Obi angst ones in the new set too Thanks for reading!

Alley_Skywalker Those two were the funnest to do I think I'm glad you enjoyed them! Thanks for reading!

Bobill Awwww well didn't mean to make you cry *offers tissues* I'm glad you enjoyed them. Thanks for reading!

oqidaun Thank you! I don't usually write Obi angst, I usually prefer Qui angst but it's fun in small doses Thanks for reading!

 

Week Two




Hours

Obi-Wan's pov


How many hours has it been since you last had awareness? I should have been fast enough to stop that bolt from coming, but I missed. Because of me you lay here, hooked to a dozen monitors, fighting for your very life. Can you hear me, Master?

We all need you, Qui-Gon. Master Josel and Master Callister are here with me, fighting to bring you home through your bond you three share.

The Healers tell us you've slipped into a coma. They have no idea if you will live. You've never let me down.

Don't start now. Please, Master, live.



Days

Kyran Josel's pov


"You gave us quite a scare old friend," I said sincerely, squeezing Qui-Gon's shoulder gently.

"I'm sorry. At least I didn't break my old record. I've only been here a few days," he teased.

I snorted and glanced at Obi-Wan. "We are all grateful you've made it."

"I am too," Qui-Gon said softly. "Obi-Wan?" he directed his next words to his apprentice. "Stay with me awhile. We have a lot to talk about, my son."

I smiled as I slipped out of the room to give them some privacy. Qui-Gon's heart was finally allowing what it should have long ago.




Weeks

Obi-Wan's pov

The initiate glances at the calendar, biting his lip. He has just a few more weeks until his thirteenth birthday and nobody has chosen him as an apprentice. Then he hears the news. Master Qui-Gon is returning to the Temple for the first time in years. His heart leaps with joy. He has another chance.

He fights for Qui-Gon, but it is not to be. He is sent away before his thirteenth birthday. His nights are haunted with the nightmares of the unchosen.

He has an unexpected third chance. The will of the Force guides them together, Master and Apprentice.



Months

Shmi's pov


How many months left until the baby is due? Shmi Skywalker caresses her swollen belly gently. "Not much longer, my love," she says. The baby will be born in two months. She smiles feeling him kick. He will be a strong one. She has no idea who the father is, but she knows he will be strong, and special. She has already named him.

"Anakin," she whispers. "My Anakin."

The heat of Tatooine leaves her exhausted in pregnancy, but she is a slave. She continues her chores feeling a stirring within her; a burst of strength from Anakin helps her.



Years

Shmi's pov


Anakin is five today. It has been five years since that fateful night that she gave birth in the slave hovel. How the years have passed. Her precious child is so bright, so innocent, so quick to learn. He deserves better than a slave's life, but she has nothing else to give him.

She resolves in her heart that someday Anakin will be free, even if she cannot. Anakin must be free. The galaxy needs him, she knows, or he would not be here at all. Even if she does not know how he arrived to bless her, he did.

 

Love this paragraph. The rest is awesome, too, particularly "Weeks"--the tense was peculiar, but it really worked perfectly for the concept. It was like... I dunno... a bedtime story. I can picture Obi-Wan narrating such a story to a little one. That would be cute, no?

Awesome drabbles. Again.

Am I beginning to see a pattern here?

 

*De-lurking*

Week 1
Beginnings
Dooku is exasperated that Qui-Gon is looking forward to the plants the most. He resolves to make sure Qui-Gon brings nothing home with him.

He has not fully recovered from the last time.

That is so Qui-Gon. Collecting plants and other "pathetic lifeforms" is just something that can't be helped, no matter how hard Dooku tries to cure it.

Last
When he awoke that morning, on Coruscant, he had no idea it would be the last day of his apprenticeship. He had no idea that he would defeat a Sith, lose his Master, and acquire an apprentice all in the same day.

That was so heart-breakingly (is that a real word?) poignant. I give three tissues.

Week 2
I Love how you divided these drabbles by time and wrote each from a different POV.

Drabbles are quite addicting, aren?t they? I can't wait to read Week 3's posts.

I know I said I was going to go crash, but I couldn't before I read these and commented. These were well worth staying up late to read.

 

Aaaah, nicely drabbled. And what a great way to arrange them, too, by time. Drabble are a good way to flex those fanfic muscles.

And from an earlier one...

It had to be one of the worst days of his life. So many things went so wrong that day. If only Qui-Gon had waited for him to catch up.

If only, if only....

 

Very very nice, sise. Not much of a drabbler myself, but good to see yours.

I can't pick a favorite, alas, for they were all very well-written. That and you know, only Sith deal in absolutes. And picking a favorite is an absolute. But paradoxically, so is the previous statement. *head explodes*

Anyway....keep up the good work!

 

For some reason I get seriously creeped out as that drabble progresses. Like the past, which was so innocent, creeping toward the period of darkness... I think Anakin will always creep me out, no matter how cute he seems in the beginning. Nice stuff!