Saga Perceptions (Xanatos, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Anakin) - AU, one-shot

Title: Perception
Author: P_A
Timeframe: RotS
Characters: Xanatos DeCrion, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, Anakin Skywalker, others
Genre: Angst/drama/Action
Summary: Clash of the titans.
Notes: Originally written in response to a dare given by Birdy - I was supposed to write a viggie of an AU RotS. There were many more conditions, many of which I haven't used, primarily because the dare was issued such a long time ago and I'm writing only now. Apologies, Birdy. It turned to be soemthing quite ... different.

Note 2: The name 'DeCrion' belongs to o-e.



*********************


Entry: 8676765222 - 1
D-Version: 34WE
Date: 76.00.54.7
Time: 778.00
Author: Xanatos DeCrion

***TRIPLE ENCRYPTED***

***BEGIN ENTRY***

They have a habit of being right.

I know that I am behaving in a fashion not befitting a Jedi master but I cannot deny they are two of the most infuriating, irascible, aggravating Jedi I know. The others are that way too but I meet Masters Windu and Yoda the most which means I am qualified to pass judgment on them.

This is ridiculous. To talk about Mace and Yoda when I have other things to think about. Or not to think about.

They said that it would clear my mind. That it was full of too much though too much anxiety and worry and I was feeling physically chokedupnotquitecleraingthinkingithasto &^%&^5

*7798 ... calm myself. I have to calm myself. For his sake. For Obi-Wan. If not for myself. I cannot let this happen. GotopiecesIcannotujkxjkluwjrwruitesomething nobody will read this Xanatos. No body. Not if if I you I can help it. I cant let anyone read this

They told me to write. It is not enough if I use a simple voice-rec device or a thought-reader but I have to push myself to more. Ignore these voices inside my head. They have always been there and I cannot silence them but they will grow quiet if I put stylus to datapad. They will. They will. They will. They will.

They must.

Obi-Wan. What is Obi-wan doig I haven't checked on him he must have goo to sleep i hope he has.

Take. Deep. Breaths.

I was not surprised that he couldn't and that I had to deliver a rather forceful sleep suggestion to him. Considering his age and experience he has done well. It is I who cannot come to terms with it. I, the calm, assured Jedi Master. I , who have had years of experience in the field, confronting dark energies I should hva eseenn this felt it approachnbmbnwbut icoulddo nothing disbelieve that ray oflightbeu,kyljkn;lj
]
L*&^9898665
K
O
]-l;klcpofeivyoeiuw9[787777777777777777777777777777777777907[675955!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will try. Again. Do or do not, there is no try. Breathe. No thought. Feel thoughts float away. Just breathe. Visualize a light point. Focus. It is the centre of your existence. It is the only thing that exists. Real, Filling. It touches the edges of your vision. Feel the Force around you. This is real. This is the truth. You came from this. You will go back to this. It heals. It saves. It is the beginning and the end. Know this.

Nonononononononono.

Master master why did you do this? Why was it all for this? Qui-Gon Jinn, I can still not believe that you are dead. You cannot be. Large as life, towering over us all, shining with the light of the Living Force. Where and how did it become tainted? I cannot see. I do not know. You left me to follow the path you said I never must. I have lost you. I don't know if you are now with the Force. I cannot accept this but I wish to sense you, I must know that you are there, that some part of this wretched universe still contains something of you, that there is still something ...

You traitor. Traitor. Traitor. Scleret! May you rot in hell. You hear me? How dare you betray me this way? How could you tie Obi-Wan to me? How could you wean Anakin away from all that he learnt? So this was why you went to Tatooine. Do you know what angers me Qui-Gon? Do you know why I am seething mad, raging like a rancor strai

 

Oh, great stars above ... I'm...speechless. Another wonderful piece from one of the best on the boards.

I did not think any human could be capable of such force ââ?¬Â¦ or anger. You knew that I and Obi-Wan ââ?¬Â¦ and those little beings you had left behind at the Chancellorââ?¬â?¢s Chambers, along with Yoda, were the only ones standing between you and the galaxy. You were possessed. As I knew you would be. And you were at your scintillating best. All the lessons you taught me, all the maxims I learnt ââ?¬â?? I saw them all when you wielded your saber. I found myself wishing, even as I jumped from one wall to another, as I ran from room to room, stumbling over burnt remains and blasted columns, awed at your expertise with a sword of light.

You were The Force. Every thrust was precision. Cold hear the air scream around me, shrieking and clawing. I was being torn apart.

Such emotion..wow!

 

Wow! You never fail to move me.

You, like all the Sith before you, equated greatness with power.

My Obi-Wan is strong. Resilient. Noble. Worthy. Compassionate. It is kindness and compassion that the galaxy needs, Master. These are the things that make a great Jedi. Not the ability to produce Force Lightning.

He was yours for the asking. He would have slaved at your feet. You could have made anything of him.

But you could not see him. And the Force chose to give him to me.

If I had ever reviled this cosmic presence before, I now pay it full obeisance. It has given me what any Jedi master would yearn to have: the son of his heart. I value him for what he is; not for what he could be.

Rest in peace, Qui-Gon Jinn. May the Force be with you.

Absolutely gorgeous...

 

I really don't know what to say. WOW doesn't begin to cover it. That was an absolutely amazing piece.

 

I read this at school hours ago and have been thinking about it ever since. It's a wonder I haven't walked into more walls today due to the lovely distraction. I loved this , the universe, the characterization, the emotions. Your version of Qui-Gon is very plausible because it uses his existing traits, wanting to train the Chosen One, to have that kind of balancing power, and just grows from that. I loved the line where Xanatos says that Qui-Gon wanted to be the Chosen One, in a way. The Chosen One is meant to bring balance between darkness and light, but in searching for that, Qui-Gon loses his compassion. There's such a tragic, gut-twisting sort of beauty in the plot itself.

Xanatos's narration was fantastically done. It's still him, even though he's 'good'. He maintains his edge, while also having this deep love for Obi-Wan. It was perfect that Xanatos killed Anakin, but it was Obi-Wan who killed Qui-Gon. And beyond perfect that Obi-Wan is what Qui-Gon was hunting for all along, but was too blinded to see. It all works so well.

I think you're the Queen of Writing Transmissions, or letters, or whatever they're called in Star Warsian. They're always so realistic, with the right touches and details. I love your work.

 

You see the terrible irony, Qui-Gon? For a brief time, you had the Chosen One within your hands' grasp. But you failed to see him.

Ohhh, I liked this! The best was how Qui-Gon convinced Anakin to kill Palpatine. Didn't see that one coming. Excellent AU - Xan fixes everything.

 

Thank you, all.

Valairy_Scot: You're too kind. Thank you so much. Words like those mean much to me.

VaderLVR64: Coming from you, Vadey, that's a real compliment. Thank you, dear!

Healer_Leona: Lol, only after I completed it did I realize that it had all the ingredients of a full-blown epic. Alas, that would be too much to contemplate. At the moment, at least. Thanks, HL. I love Qui-Gon too - and writing him this way was a weird experience.

PadawanKitara: Ah, PK. Missed you. Thank you, dear one.

LuvEwan: I love, love your comments. They're so incredibly gratifying, and instantly make all my effort vanish into a puff of smoke. Thank you.

Yes, I drew upon Qui-Gon's existing characteristics on purpose. I always thought he stood right upon the very edge - the edge that separated common sense and a genuine wish to do good - against attaining great power and fame. Exactly what it was that kept him on the Jedi side in canonverse, I'm not sure; perhaps it was just his innate goodness. But I've sometimes thought it wouldn't take much to push him over. That's what I tried to write in this vig.

And Obi-Wan ... I believe Obi-Wan was the only reason Qui-Gon returned to some kind of a normal existence, after the trials of Xan's apprenticeship (in canon). And which was why he was so prepared to accept Anakin; he was now ready, in the proper mindset of a teacher. That too, I wanted to bring. Except that in this AU, Xan doesn't turn, which leaves Qui-Gon restless with something to accomplish. Desperate.

And I'm glad Xan came across.

JadeSolo: Yep, Xan the Fixer of all Things Broken. Maybe he fixed things too well. Thanks, Jade, Glad you liked.

 

What a cool story! I love Obi as the true Chosen One stories! And this was awesome! I totally didn't see it coming! Although, I always suspected something wasn't quite right with Qui-Gon Jinn!

Great job!

 

That was such a wonderful role-reversal between Xanatos and Qui-Gon.

My Obi-Wan is strong. Resilient. Noble. Worthy. Compassionate. It is kindness and compassion that the galaxy needs, Master. These are the things that make a great Jedi. Not the ability to produce Force Lightning.

Aaaaawwwww, that Obi-Wan has all that. Such a tragedy that the Sith-Qui-Gon missed it.

 

"You wanted a shining star in the Force. You wanted a Hero. Or a Heroine. You had always wanted one. I was not. Neither was Obi-Wan. You had searched for your perfect apprentice all the years you had trained both me and him, perhaps without any real hope that you would find him. And when you did find Anakin, we ceased to exist."

"You see the terrible irony, Qui-Gon? For a brief time, you had the Chosen One within your hands' grasp. But you failed to see him. He shone like a star, in a corner of your existence - a star that your Living Force extinguished. Your sense only showed the here and now; not the future. You saw Anakin's current enormous potential ... you refused to see what Obi-Wan could become."

Well, it's somehow comforting to know that some things never change: Jedi or Sith, Qui-Gon always manages to see only what he wants to see.

Terrific story with a Xanatos I actually like - which is rather seldom the case because he's often portrayed as a self-absorbed maniac with to high an opinion of his own importance. But your Xanatos is different, he has compassion for others and a good sense of justice without seeking revenge. I sympathize with him when he has trouble to accept that the man who raised him became a Sith master.

"No matter if that brat was the greatest, most Force-sensitive boy in aeons. Obi-Wan, in my opinion, was no less." I couldn't have said it better!!!

Really great story - thank you for sharing!

 

Sionnach-Airgid: Lol. Something not quite right qith Qui-Gon - he'll blow a fuse if he hears that. Not that he would ever accept it.His character rather lends itself to viewpoints like these, doesn't it?

Thanks!

ardavenport: Yep, tragedy that Qui missed all that. His vision desperately needed enhancement. . Thanks for reading.

ConStar: Wow, thank you for that lovely comment. Indeed, Xan is all that. In this universe, at any rate. And Obi-wan is the real Chosen One.