Saga When an Author has a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day **ONE POST** 10/16

Title: When an Author has a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Author: Durhelediel
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and I don't make money off of them, I just get to use them for letting off steam. I love to read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst, and although I use the terminology a lot, I do in no means wish to have anyone think that I am poking fun at the book. Truth comes in many forms: Ms. Viorst simply put it in a children's book.
Summay: When life plunges a fanfic author down the toilet, the author strikes back.

I calmly observed the Star Wars characters that I frequently write about as they stood in front of me. They were nervous: some shifted position from foot to foot, and others looked everywhere but at me. They sensed my mood and knew it boded ill for one of their number.

How right they were.

I had had one of those horrible days that you think you must surely be dreaming. One of those days that make you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs, and doing it until you passed out. One of those days that you wanted to take your precious china and glasses and just start throwing them around to know that you had control over something, even if it was just over inanimate objects that broke when they smashed into an unyielding wall.

A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

A day that made me want blood?and to avoid making it my own, I turned to my Star Wars characters.

Obi-Wan Kenobi in his stages of development stood next to himself. His padawan self was very nervous since the last time this happened I killed him in an alternate ending, and the time before I made him a girl going through puberty. His Knight self stood a little more certainly, though a bead of sweat on his brow alerted me to his fear. His Master self stood as calmly as I, waiting patiently for what I decided to do.

That irritated me.

Qui-Gon Jinn stood aloof, his hands clasped behind his back, watching me carefully. He normally took the brunt of beatings and torture when I had a similar mood. He knew this mood was blacker, darker, than normal and was watching to see what I wished. He, too, was calm.

That really irked me.

Kyran Josel, a character a friend of mine created, stood near Qui-Gon. He had suspicion in his eyes whenever I caught his glance. He knew that I was already leaning toward him and he was posed to run.

Like he could outrun my fingers.

Anakin Skywalker simply sat cross-legged, eyes closed in meditation. His older self was at peace. He knew that this time he was safe since I was using him in an epic that was not finished yet.

He was the only safe one.

Other characters stood or sat in line: Yoda, Leia, Han, Luke, Mara, Corran, Kyp, Jacen, Jaina, and the younger Anakin of Leia's children. They were not used as much in my writings and were very nervous.

I wanted blood tonight. I wanted death.

And they knew it.

I drummed my fingers against my chin as I thought. Who did I want to kill off? Killing prominent Star Wars figures wasn't something I did often. In fact, I had only done it truly once, but it was in an alternate ending so it didn't really count. Yet tonight nothing else would satisfy my day than to kill one of them. Yet whom?

I killed Luke a lot, but used other methods to bring him back, so he had been used a bit.

Mara usually escaped my notice, but I didn't write in the Extended Universe that often anymore and my fan base was in prequels. I wanted others to be able to read it and to sympathize.

I wanted a public execution.

The Extended Universe characters sagged in relief and left, talking and laughing. The Prequel characters grew only more tense and anxious. Even the older Obi-Wan was now showing signs of the strain.

I smiled.

Killing Yoda wasn't all that fun. People loved him, but no one would really mourn if he died. Really. I mean, he's old.

Yoda waddled off, glancing at Anakin as he did so. Anakin did

 

Whom to kill? And why was this decision so Sithspittin' hard?

A movement caught my eye. Kyran was writing frantically in a datapad. His will, no doubt. He was so sure that as an original character, though beloved, he was the next to die. Well, I didn't like doing things any other way but unexpected, so I finally let him off the hook.







Poor Ky, at least he gets off the hook this time He says thank you, by the way

 

Oh poor Knight Obi-Wan... first he gets picked to die, and then there's no detail!

wonderful job with this! I really enjoyed it.

I wonder who's next?

And for the sake of your characters, I hope that you don't have too many terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day's

jcs

 

My goodness, I know just how you feel, and I fear that my characters also no longer feel very safe. I commend you for taking out your negative energies on the hapless Obi-Wan.

 

Who hasn't killed off a character or two when we have a bad day. Very good work.

 

This is great!! I love the book a lot, and I like what you did with this And I can certainly empathize some days Brilliant!!

 

Priceless!

Killing Yoda wasn't all that fun. People loved him, but no one would really mourn if he died. Really. I mean, he's old.

Yoda waddled off, glancing at Anakin as he did so. Anakin did not have to remain, but he did just to rub it in that he knew he was safe. The remaining characters began to shoot him glares.

So that really left the Obi-Wans, Qui-Gon and Kyran. But which one?

After a moment of consideration, I let Qui-Gon go. The poor man had already been killed in the Canon, so it really would be evil of me to kill him again. I'd rather someone else have a turn at dying, someone who hadn't done that scene yet.

Qui-Gon let out a long sigh, smiled his thanks at me, and also left.

Obi-Wans and Kyran.

Whom to kill? And why was this decision so Sithspittin' hard?

A movement caught my eye. Kyran was writing frantically in a datapad. His will, no doubt. He was so sure that as an original character, though beloved, he was the next to die. Well, I didn't like doing things any other way but unexpected, so I finally let him off the hook.

All three Obi-Wans suddenly swallowed.

Poor Obi!

VERY unique and well written! A true joy to read!

 

That was hilarious!

I feel for the poor SW characters but I can totally relate to the need to take out your terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day on them.

Anakin did not have to remain, but he did just to rub it in that he knew he was safe.

That was totally out of character, don't you think?

Brilliant job on this!