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Saga Legends - Dooku reflects {Jinn, Kenobi, Skywalker, etc.} One-Post, Replies 2/3

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by corellian-jedi, Jan 31, 2007.

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  1. corellian-jedi

    corellian-jedi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Title: Legends
    Author: corellian-jedi
    Timeframe: All over the place
    Characters: Dooku (narrator), Yoda, Jinn, Kenobi, Skywalker
    Genre: Um, ruminations?
    Summary: In the afterlife, Dooku reflects on the line of legendary Masters and Padawans, and their ultimate downfall.


    Legends

    We were the greatest Jedi of our time. No one would ever deny that. We helped to shape the galaxy, or perhaps we destroyed it. That is perhaps a fairer assessment. Not all of us fell to darkness, but the darkness spoke to every one of us, and at some point in our lives, we stood at that point?in precarious balance between our best and our worst?and then the scale tipped, one way or the other. A few of us fell to our worst: I did, and so did the last of our line.

    My Master was the Grand Master of the Jedi Order, and his wisdom was valued by the entire galaxy. He could prevent an entire war with a few careful words, and despite his diminutive stature, his skills with the lightsaber were legendary. He was wisest of the Jedi, yet he was blind to so much.

    I never fancied myself a teacher, but when I saw him in the training salle, dancing with a lightsaber like it was an extension of his body and embracing the Living Force with such dexterity, I knew that he must be my student. He was going to be my legacy. His greatness called to me that day, even though he was only a youngling.

    As sure as I was that he would be my Padawan, he was just as doubtful that Obi-Wan Kenobi would be his. In the beginning, he pushed Kenobi away, who was at the time no more than a foolish boy with tremendous power in the Force and an uncontrollable temper. His previous apprentice had fallen, the spoiled and incompetent fool that was Xanatos. He was sure that Obi-Wan, with his brashness and volatile emotions, would be no different.

    Kenobi?s apprentice would be the last of our line of tragic heroes. He was the strongest of us, the greatest and the most terrible. He was the Chosen One, prophesized to bring balance to the Force. We did not underestimate him: from the moment he was brought to the Temple, we knew he was dangerous. We were all aware of it, but we still taught him the Jedi way, foolishly believing that he would embrace our teachings. I was not there to see his beginning days as a Jedi, but I know that he must have struggled. He was not raised in the Temple; he knew how it felt to be loved by a mother, and she had been taken from him. He did not make friends very easily. I think Obi-Wan was everything to him ? his mentor, his father, his brother, and his best friend.

    Many of us were close and shared bonds. At one time, I had strong bonds with my Master, and later, my apprentice. But the connection that Kenobi and Skywalker shared was far beyond the rest of us. The galaxy will never again be witness to a Jedi team quite like them. Their stories will be told over and over again; their legend will never fade. Some go as far as to call them gods.

    And yet despite all of that, when Kenobi?s life ended, it was by Skywalker?s hands. They loved one another, and ultimately destroyed each other. If love wasn?t enough for them, what could have been done?

    We were not always monsters. We once loved fiercely. Sometimes other people, sometimes each other. But inside every one of us, there was a hidden darkness, and sometimes it prevailed. We never thought we would fall. Even as we descended into the abyss, we did not know it was happening. Not until it was too late.

    We loved each other, but love does not translate to faith. We didn?t always believe in the ones we loved. How could we be open with one another if we did not trust each other?

    -----

    A successful mission. But I was unhappy.

    ?Great conflict I sense in you, my Padawan.? His gimer stick tapped me lightly on the shin. ?Center yourself. Find peace, you must.?

    I tried to obey his words, but I felt the Force too strongly. It did not calm me. I did not possess the mastery over it that I wanted.

    -----

    He was a rarit
     
  2. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    This was truly - almost beyond words.

    Many of us were close and shared bonds. At one time, I had strong bonds with my Master, and later, my apprentice. But the connection that Kenobi and Skywalker shared was far beyond the rest of us. The galaxy will never again be witness to a Jedi team quite like them. Their stories will be told over and over again; their legend will never fade. Some go as far as to call them gods.

    And yet despite all of that, when Kenobi?s life ended, it was by Skywalker?s hands. They loved one another, and ultimately destroyed each other. If love wasn?t enough for them, what could have been done?

    We were not always monsters. We once loved fiercely. Sometimes other people, sometimes each other. But inside every one of us, there was a hidden darkness, and sometimes it prevailed. We never thought we would fall. Even as we descended into the abyss, we did not know it was happening. Not until it was too late.

    We loved each other, but love does not translate to faith. We didn?t always believe in the ones we loved. How could we be open with one another if we did not trust each other?


    =D=

    Don?t ever die.?

    He winced the moment those words tumbled out. He waited for the impending lecture, the one that came too often. Obi-Wan was no doubt going to remind him of the Jedi Code. Again.

    Not this time, though.

    ?I?ll try my best, Anakin,? he said, smiling faintly. ?But you need to help me.?

    That was Kenobi?s weakness as a teacher. He loved Skywalker and cared about comforting him far too much. In moments like these, he became more of a parent than a responsible mentor. As Masters, we could not afford to be so personally involved.

    ?I won?t let you die,? promised the Chosen One.


    Too bad someone didn't point this out earlier.
     
  3. DancesWithBlasters

    DancesWithBlasters Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 22, 2006
    That was great! A really interesting peek into the legecy of the Jedi. I always thought that maybe Obi-Wan loved Anakin too much to believe he was Vader and perfered seperating rather than facing the fact the boy he had raised had turned, and I loved your way of showing it. I liked how Dooku felt about Luke. Great, great job! You're a wonderful writer, with infinite potential.
     
  4. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Absolutely gorgeous! [face_love] I love the part about Luke not giving up. Beautifully expressed.

    We were not always monsters. We once loved fiercely. Sometimes other people, sometimes each other. But inside every one of us, there was a hidden darkness, and sometimes it prevailed. We never thought we would fall. Even as we descended into the abyss, we did not know it was happening. Not until it was too late.

    We loved each other, but love does not translate to faith. We didn?t always believe in the ones we loved. How could we be open with one another if we did not trust each other?


    Bravo! =D= This was extremely moving. You're very, very talented. :)
     
  5. Luminara_Kenobi

    Luminara_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 6, 2006
    :D [:D] Oh, that was great! A different point of view on the legacy, and very well done...I've thought of that before...I mean, what a lineage. Anyway, some wonderful parts, like the loving but not trusting, and the flashback during the fight with Dooku. Nicely done!
     
  6. Laine_Snowtrekker

    Laine_Snowtrekker Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2003
    Absolutely wonderful!

    This was great, corellian-jedi! A very thoughtful piece.
     
  7. Charmisjess

    Charmisjess Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    You are profound.

    ---Just so you know. It?s often nearly impossible to recognize that quality in one?s own work, but you entirely have it. There is such an understanding, cohesiveness, and strength to your prose that entirely befits the legacy theme. You have it, entirely.

    I loved that you chose Dooku to narrate this. I confess that he is my favorite character--[face_batting] --but on a purely objective level, you pulled him off superbly, and I love the graceful wistfulness you manage to convey. You seem to have such a thorough understanding of the characters voice that I quite envy.

    Good instincts with the scene-selections. I like how they build and complicate; and you managed to make Anakin together entirely appealing and deeply unsettling, emotional responses that I?ve never really found myself feeling toward the character before. (If before I admitted to being a Dooku fan, in turn, and perhaps in connection, I must now confess myself to be a Anakin-dissenter. :))

    Qui-Gon ?checking for infection? made me smile out loud, as it were. :)

    Some of these lines, oh, wow.

    And Qui-Gon. We never stopped caring, but we had stopped speaking.

    I think that this is everything about the Qui-Gon/Dooku Master/Padawan relationship in a sentence. Absolutely brilliant.

    The point at the end about Luke was as effective as it was graceful. You drew out a strong, vivid piece of writing, and tied it together with elegance.
    Goodness gracious, I needed to read something like this today. I hope to see more from you soon.
     
  8. Persephone_Kore

    Persephone_Kore Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Ooh. Intriguing.

    *hugs Luke*

    Very vivid, the different relationships, and Dooku's insights. I'm not quite sure I believe everything he says, but I can so definitely believe it's what he'd say. And what he'd believe.

    I like this assumption that he's there in the Force, after the end, and waiting to welcome Luke.
     
  9. darth_treyvah

    darth_treyvah Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 26, 2005
    Tell your sister? You were right??

    Luke Skywalker was not one of us.

    He loved the man beneath Vader?s mask, but that did not set him apart from us. The difference is he never stopped believing. He never lost faith, like we did. No one could purge it out of him.

    Somewhere along the way, Master Yoda stopped believing in me. He thought I was lost forever.

    He wasn?t alone. I had lost my trust in him, too.

    And Qui-Gon. We never stopped caring, but we had stopped speaking.

    Kenobi and Skywalker were brothers. But in their darkest moment, they abandoned each other.

    We were heroes of the galaxy. We were cunning warriors and negotiators without peer. In the end, it was a naïve farm boy from Tatooine who was the wisest.


    That last sentence here was such a smooth, gentle and very crucial turn. I could very much see Dooku saying that last one. There is a ... state of elegance to it. I really respect what you did here, and this was a truly excellent story. You have done really well, and I look forward to seeing more.

    Good work, corellian-jedi. :D
     
  10. LLL

    LLL Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2000
    I love that last insight -- and the philosophical tone and slight tinge of regret with which it is delivered. So very Dooku!

    This is a really lovely piece. I did get a little mixed up there in the middle when the flashbacks started -- a couple of times -- but the scenes themselves, the theme, and the overall tone are perfect.

    I love Dooku. I can SO see him standing in the shadows at the end of the OT, thinking just exactly this.

    @};-
     
  11. Arcalian

    Arcalian Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2005
    Awesomeness.

    I note that Dooku doesn't really speak about his own fall much in specficis. That too is telling, and reflective of the character.
     
  12. brodiew

    brodiew Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 2005
    What a wonderfully rich and engaging fic, corellian-jedi. I was taken by the Dooku narration, and was pleasantly rewarded by his final line about Luke. I like that you ended the fic letting us know that Dooku is in the Force, a restored Jedi, waiting for Luke to come home.

    We were the greatest Jedi of our time. No one would ever deny that. We helped to shape the galaxy, or perhaps we destroyed it. That is perhaps a fairer assessment. Not all of us fell to darkness, but the darkness spoke to every one of us, and at some point in our lives, we stood at that point?in precarious balance between our best and our worst?and then the scale tipped, one way or the other. A few of us fell to our worst: I did, and so did the last of our line.

    Dooku's voice was at once objective and dispassionate, with a hint of nostalgia, pain, and even admiration for Luke. You wrote him well, though I haven't read many Dooku fics, in that he was engaging and easy to follow. I wanted to keep reading not only because of the rich character study, but because I enjoyed your writing.

    That said I loved the interesting ways the you wandered from Master to Padawan so quickly, but every sentence was rich and full of wonderful character study.

    I also enjoyed the flasbacks in that they illustrated your previous summaries of the characters in the first half.

    And yet despite all of that, when Kenobi?s life ended, it was by Skywalker?s hands. They loved one another, and ultimately destroyed each other. If love wasn?t enough for them, what could have been done?

    We loved each other, but love does not translate to faith. We didn?t always believe in the ones we loved. How could we be open with one another if we did not trust each other?


    Awesome questions, both. And questions that an entire Jedi Order ignored.

    I know I've meandered a bit in my review, but I think I made it clear that this is wonderful fic, and one that deserves to be read by as many as I can tell. Thank you for a satifying experience. =D= =D= =D=

    Edit: Plus everything Charmisjess said. Her review was as powerful and well written as your fic. :)
     
  13. corellian-jedi

    corellian-jedi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Notes: I know that Thame Cerulian was technically Dooku's Master. However, his role in the Star Wars saga was extremely minor compared to that of Yoda. In addition, Dooku was no doubt pretty close-knit with Yoda. I guess for the purposes of this story, you will have to just humour me and pretend that Dooku was Yoda's Padawan learner.

    Thanks to everyone for reading!



    Replies:

    Valairy_Scot

    This was truly - almost beyond words. Thank you so much for the encouragement. :) I'm glad you liked the Obi-Wan/Anakin scene.


    DancesWithBlasters

    Thank you!

    I always thought that maybe Obi-Wan loved Anakin too much to believe he was Vader and perfered seperating rather than facing the fact the boy he had raised had turned

    I pretty much agree ... I think Obi-Wan always loved Anakin, and to him, Vader was someone completely different. After all, he believed Vader to be irredeemable - like there was no trace of Anakin left at all. That part of Obi-Wan kind of frustrates me.


    VaderLVR64

    Thanks. [:D]

    I love the part about Luke not giving up. Yep, Luke is Luke. I really adore that little farmboy! And thanks again for your kind words.


    Luminara_Kenobi

    I mean, what a lineage. I know, huh. It's like looking at a tragic family tree. Still ... Yoda, Dooku, Qui-Gon, (Xanatos), Obi-Wan, and Anakin ... you can't find a stronger Jedi "family." Thanks for reading and commenting. :*


    Laine_Snowtrekker

    Thanks, I'm happy you found it to be your cup of tea. I tried to not go overly philosophical. :p


    Charmisjess

    First of all, thank you so much for all the kind words of encouragement. [:D] I'm happy to have the approval of a Dooku fan; I wasn't so sure that I could pull him off effectively. He's a complicated character, and this was my first attempt at writing him.

    I think that this is everything about the Qui-Gon/Dooku Master/Padawan relationship in a sentence. I pretty much tried to sum up their relationship based on that scene in AotC, where Dooku reveals that he's never had the pleasure to meet Obi-Wan before. I was like, "now that doesn't seem quite right..." [face_thinking]

    Again, thank you. :)


    Persephone_Kore

    I kind of want to hug Luke, too. [face_love] Bless his big heart.

    Thanks. [face_peace]


    darth_treyvah

    I could very much see Dooku saying that last one. I imagined that even in the Force, he would have retained his aura of elegance, while becoming more humbled ... and seeing beyond his prejudices.

    Thank you!


    LLL

    So very Dooku! Thanks. :) I was a little worried that I might warp his character or something, so I'm glad it turned out well.


    Arcalian

    I note that Dooku doesn't really speak about his own fall much in specficis. That too is telling, and reflective of the character.

    Yes, that is a little bit of who he is ... [face_shame_on_you] In life, he was quite the idealist, and quite blind to some of his own failings. Thank you. :)


    brodiew

    Thanks! [:D] I'm thrilled that you found the narration engaging. Dooku is one heck of an interesting guy, albeit I wasn't always so happy with him in the prequel trilogy. [face_devil] However, grasping his sort of - tone - was a bit challenging. I guess "yay!" for having it work out.

    And questions that an entire Jedi Order ignored. *sigh* They did that quite a bit didn't they? Aaack, so frustrating sometimes.

    Thank you for the lovely encouragement. :D
     
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