TPM rewrite # 2..

I started mine about the same time as steve's; just didn't bother posting it till now..Anyway, here it is and hope you like it!

Star Wars
Episode I:
The Phantom Menace
IT IS A OF TURMOIL FOR THE ANCIENT GALACTIC EMPIRE. PROTESTING AGAINST THE TAXATION OF TRADE ROUTES TO OUTLYING SYSTEMS, THE GREEDY TRADE FEDERATION HAS BLOCKADED THE SMALL PLANET OF NABOO.
AS THE IMPERIAL SENATE ENDLESSLY DEBATES THIS ALARMING CHAIN OF EVENTS, THE EMPEROR HAS TAKEN A BOLD STEP TOWARDS REVOLVING THE CRISIS: HE HAS DISPATCHED TWO JEDI KNIGHTS, THE GUARDIANS OF JUSTICE FOR THE EMPIRE, TO NABOO TO RESOLVE THE CRISIS?.

Scene 1

An Imperial Cruiser roars across the screen towards the ominous sight of the Trade Federation blockade. Unarmed yet unafraid, it accelerates towards the fleet?s flagship: a DROID CONTROL SHIP.

INT COCKPIT
Captain to General Tasamos (On the DCS): ?The Ambassadors for the Emperor demand to board immediately.?
General Tasamos: ?Yes, of course. We are willing to allow them to board.?

Unhindered, the Cruiser lands in a minor bay filled with Battle droids. The March booms as the Cruiser lands, it?s ramp drops, and two Jedi disembark.

General Tasamos: ?We are honored by your-?
JEDI MASTER QUI-GON JINN: ?You may dispense with the pleasantries, ?General?, we are here to bring an end to your foolish blockade-with force if necessary.?
General Tasamos: ?That won?t be necessary, I assure you-we would never do anything with out the approval of the-?
Qui-Gon: ?Do not blather to me about the Senate, ?General?; you and I both know that what they say doesn?t matter to you-otherwise, you would not be here-now, show my Apprentice and I to the conference room.?

Scene 2-interior of conference room.

JEDI PADAWAN OBI-WAN KENOBI, APPRENTICE TO MASTER QUI-GON: ?You were rather hard on the general back there, Master.?
Qui-Gon: ?You have to be with these mercenary types, Obi-Wan; authority is all they understand.?
Obi-Wan: ?Yes, I understand, Master. Do you know how long the negotiations will be??
Qui-Gon: ?These Trade Federations scum are cowards. A little bit of domination by us and they?ll no doubt break and go home..and then, hopefully, the Senate will register how dangerous it is to allow arms to be sold to business groups.?
Obi-Wan: ?Yes, Master.?
Screen wipes to the DCS bridge
Doltay Dofine: ?What, what did you say??
General Tasamos: ?The Ambassadors, are, in fact, Jedi Knights. One of them?s a Master.?
Dofine: ?I knew it-the Emperor is not going to allow this to continue-he has dispatched Jedi!?
Nute Gunray: ?Calm down, Dofine-we?ll send a droid to delay them, and contact Lord Sidious.?
Dofine: ?Yes, that?s a good idea-send the droid!?
TC-14: ?Well, not from my perspective-what if I?m deactivated, ah, permanently by them??
General Tasamos: ?They won?t unless you attack them first. Now go!?
//fade back to the conference room
Obi-Wan: ?What in blazes could be taking them so long??
Qui-Gon: ?I don?t know. I sense an unusual amount of fear for something as simple as this blockade.?
TC-14 enters the room
Qui-Gon glances over his shoulder. ?A droid?they send a droid..?
Obi-Wan: ?Yes, Master-I?ll handle it.? Obi Wan gets up, walks over TC-14, produces a small electronic scanner, passes it over TC-14?s body, and says, ?It?s clean-no bugs.?
Qui-Gon: ?Good. Back to waiting, then.?
Back to the bridge

In a secluded area, Gunray, Dofine, Tasamos, and Haako are speaking to LORD DARTH SIDIOUS? hologram image:

Sidious: ?What is it??
Dofine: ?This game of yours has failed, Lord Sidious-The Emperor has dispatched Jedi, my Lord-we dare not go against them!?
Sidious: ?Are you saying you?re more scared of the Jedi than you are of what I can and will do if you go against me? I am amused.?//To Gunray: ?Viceroy, I don?t want this STUNTED SLIME IN MY SIGHT AGAIN!?
Dofine exits hastily.
Sidious: ?This turn of events is unfortunate but not totally fatal to our plans. We must accelerate them; begin landing your troops.?
Gunray & Tasamos exchange glances; this was unexpected.
Gunray: ?Is that lee-

 

UP!!

 

hehehe... I love these rewrites. its cool to see what other users think of the movies, and see how they could make it better! so now we really know why Jar Jar was banished from otoh gungah! its good so far!

 

Thanks, P716. I should have more up tonight.

 

Shouldn't this be called "TPM Rewrite #3"?

 

Nice stuff, Boba! I like the alernative version of why Jar Jar was banished from Otoh Gunga, as it makes slightly more sense of why Boss Nass wanted to execute him. Oh and the, "Obi-Wan: ?They blew up the ship!?
Qui-Gon: ?Do try to restrain yourself from stating the obvious in the middle of a war zone, Obi-Wan.? is a classic...

 

Keep posting! This is funny! The REAL reason whay Jar-Jar was banished was quite funny!