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Saga Seeking Balance, AOTC-ROTS AU (Anakin/Padmé, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Shmi) - Updated 8/21

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Lisbev, Jun 12, 2008.

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  1. Lisbev

    Lisbev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 11, 2008
    Title: SEEKING BALANCE
    Author: Lisbev
    Timeframe: AOTC - ROTS
    Characters: Anakin/Padmé, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon/Shmi, others
    Genre: AU, Romance/Family/Friendship/Adventure/Dry Humor
    Summary: AU where hard work, dedication, & the love and guidance of Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan & Shmi help shape Anakin into becoming a model Jedi. BUT while on assignment to protect a different Senator from Naboo, he meets a certain dark angel that threatens to thrust him into a state of unbalance.

    Disclaimer: George?s jungle





    [face_good_luck] [b]SEEKING BALANCE[/b]

    [face_good_luck] [b]Prologue[/b]

    Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi have successfully helped Queen Sabidala save her home planet of Naboo from the Trade Federation Blockade. Soon after they defeated Darth Maul, Obi-Wan became knighted and Qui-Gon was allowed to take nine year-old Anakin as his new apprentice, although much to the dismay of the Jedi Council.

    Qui-Gon was a ?Living Force? Master that disagreed with the Jedi Council?s code on many aspects, including attachments. He frequently took Anakin home to visit his mother, Shmi. After doing so for two years, Qui-Gon and Shmi fell in love, secretly got married then relocated to Dantooine. Less than two years later, the council learned of their marriage and expelled Qui-Gon from the order. At Qui-Gon?s insistence, Obi-Wan begrudgingly agreed to take Anakin as his apprentice.

    As frustrated as he was with his former master, Obi-Wan respected the former Jedi immensely and continued to heed his wisdom. Every so often Obi-Wan and Anakin would sneak in a trip to Dantooine. Over time Obi-Wan found that he looked forward to visiting them. Naturally Qui-Gon and Shmi doted on Anakin, but what took Obi-Wan completely by surprise was that they treated him like a son as well. The generously affectionate family chemistry was undeniably warm, and he couldn?t help but feel attached to them. Qui-Gon had always been a great master, but Shmi brought out the fatherly side of him that helped to soften Obi-Wan?s heart. These new feelings made Obi-Wan wonder about the Jedi Code on attachments as well.

    Much to the surprise of the Jedi Council, Anakin became the model padawan. He excelled in every aspect, quickly earning the adoration of nearly everyone in the order. Even his biggest critics, Masters Windu and Yoda were pleasantly surprised. They never doubted the boy would excel in lightsabre training, but they were quite concerned about his temperament. At the time of their assessment, he was an emotionally charged boy. They had sensed lots of anger and fear, things that commonly led straight into the darkside of the Force. The two senior masters were quite pleased by young Skywalker?s dedication and self reservation.

    Anakin enjoyed his training immensely, he had dreamt of being a Jedi since forever so he worked hard at accomplishing it. The accomplished padawan felt his life couldn?t be any better. He didn?t have to sever ties with his beloved mother as he originally thought, and as a bonus, he now had a father figure, a great step-dad that loved and took care of his mother. To top things off, he had the best relationship with his master, Obi-Wan. With every passing year Obi-Wan seemed to be less prude and more light hearted. Unlike the other padawans, Anakin felt comfortable enough with his master that he could speak to him freely.

    Life was good, yes indeed. Everything was settling into the right place for Anakin Skywalker.

    - - -

    ?I am humbled by your praise and deeply honored that you consider I am ready for the trials. I know Master Kenobi was the youngest padawan to take and pass the trials, but he was 22. I barely just turned 20.? Anakin spoke modestly to the three Jedi Masters sitting in front of him.

    Mace Windu beamed a rare smile. ?Readiness to take the trials is unique to each padawan. Don?t worry young one, we have discussed this thoroughly and we feel confident that you are ready. We sha
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    This looks great! :D Please put me on the PM list!

    =D=
     
  3. Lisbev

    Lisbev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 11, 2008
    VaderLVR64 thanks for reading. Hope you like the next post.

    Author?s Note: The first few chapters of this story are mostly re-caps of AOTC with my little twist. I realize this may cause things to move a bit slowly, but it was necessary. I wanted to convey that Anakin & Obi-Wan?s personalities are different from canon despite the similar circumstances. Hope hope hope this doesn?t discourage anyone from reading this story. I promise this fic will take on its own life soon.





    [face_good_luck] [b]Ch 1 - Shaken Equilibrium [/b]

    ?Anakin, why are you so quiet?? Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi asked his padawan of seven years as they rode up the lift to Senator Sabidala?s penthouse.

    ?Sorry Master, but I?m just trying to figure out the reasoning for this assignment. It just seems ?? The lift door slid open before Anakin could finish his sentence.

    ?Obi! Meesa so happy to see yousa.? Jar-Jar Binks greeted the Jedi Master with juvenile delight.

    Sabé and Captain Typho rose from their seats as Obi-Wan and Anakin were being led into the apartment by Jar-Jar Binks.

    ?It?s a pleasure to see you again, Milady.? Obi-Wan bowed slightly as he politely greeted the beautiful young Senator from Naboo.

    Sabé flashed a bright smile, ?It has been far too long Master Kenobi. I?m so glad our paths have crossed again.? She noticed a young man standing behind Obi-Wan and couldn?t resist staring at him. ?Ani? My goodness you?ve grown.? Senator Sabidala finally asked with surprise and jubilation in her voice.

    ?Yes Milady, it?s me [i]ANAKIN[/i].? Anakin replied, feeling somewhat awkward that she referred to him by his childhood nickname. Such privileges were reserved for his beloved parents only.

    ?You?re no longer the little boy I knew from Tatooine.? The senator commented, taking notice that he was now a very tall, handsome young man.

    ?Our presence will be invisible, Milady, I can assure you.? Obi-Wan spoke up upon noticing that the senator had tuned him out and was now focusing on his padawan learner.

    The group took their seats in the common room before Sabé responded. ?Invisible? Don?t tell me you?re going to just stand around and wait for something to happen. I don?t need more security, that?s what I have Captain Typho for. What I need is answers. I want to know who is trying to kill me.?

    The security chief nodded in agreement. ?I?m Captain Typho, head of Queen Jamillia?s security service. I?m very grateful you?re here, Master Kenobi. While my team and I are capable of protecting the Senator, we need your assistance in finding the culprit behind these attacks.?

    ?We?re here to protect you Senator, not to start an investigation.? Obi-Wan gently tried to inform the senator.

    ?I agree with the Senator. Protection is a job for local security... not Jedi.? Anakin interjected, trying to sound as polite as possible. ?The Council may not have said in so many words, but think about it, why else do you think we were given this assignment, if not to find the killer??

    The Jedi Master gave his padawan an exasperated look. While Obi-Wan understood Anakin?s line of reasoning, he still felt uncomfortable with his [i]interpretation[/i] of the assignment. ?We must follow the Council?s mandate,? Obi-Wan replied, sounding slightly weary.

    ?Yes, of course, but I honestly believe investigation is implied in our mandate.? Anakin quickly added, knowing that his master was beginning to see his point.

    ?Perhaps with merely your presence, the mysteries surrounding this threat will be revealed. Now, if you will excuse me, I will retire.? Sabé said then gave the young Jedi a warm smile before retreating to her bedroom. [i]Such a perceptive young man[/i], she noted to herself, feeling quite impressed by Anakin?s intuition and good looks.

    [i][b]- - -[/b][/i]

    ?Stay here!? Anakin exclaimed then rushed out of the senator?s apartment to find his speeder. He raced through Coruscant?s sky traffic at a suicidal speed. A loud thud sounded as Obi-Wan?s body slammed onto the speeder?s hood. ?
     
  4. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    The last thought brought Anakin back to his senses, helping him deduct that his musings about he girl were most likely wrong. While the connection was there like it was with the two Jedi Masters, the way they met was completely different. This can?t be right. He finally admonished that it?s never a good sign when someone shoves their knee into your ? OUCH.

    I've got three sons. This is something their sister learned early on. [face_laugh] [face_sick]

    Loved the update! I can't wait for more. =D=
     
  5. Lisbev

    Lisbev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 11, 2008
    A/N: There are two parts to this chapter.
    The second part will be posted within a day or two.
    [face_blush]





    [face_good_luck] [b]Ch 2 ? Part 1: UGG! Sabé[/b]

    ?We can stay in the Lake Country. There are some places there that are very isolated.? Sabé grinned at the thought of being alone, in a romantic setting with her handsome Jedi protector. ?How does that sound?? She waited for the young Jedi?s response, ?Anakin??

    ?Uh ? what ? where?? Anakin stammered in embarrassment. ?I mean, that sounds fine. This is your home planet and you would know it better than me.? He quickly continued, hoping that Queen Jamillia and Governor Bibble hadn?t noticed that he had tuned out their conversation with Sabé.

    ?Perfect. It's settled then. Sabé, I had an audience with your father yesterday. I told him what was happening. He hopes you will visit them before you leave... your family's very worried about you.? Queen Jamillia informed the young senator at the conclusion of their conversation.

    - - -

    [i]Naberrie home after a warm, cozy dinner with Sabé?s parents ?[/i]

    ?Is this you?? Anakin asked while looking at a holo-photo on Sabé?s bedroom wall.

    ?That was when I went with the Relief Group to Shadda-Bi-Boran. Their sun was imploding, and the planet was dying. I was helping to relocate the children. We did everything we could to save them, but they all died. They were never able to adapt... to live off their native planet.? Sabé sadly explained while filling yet another suitcase with her elaborate dresses.

    ?That?s tragic.? Anakin stated while considering Sabé?s last words, [i]they all died ? they were never able to adapt[/i].

    - - -

    Anakin and Sabé arrived at the secluded Lake Country retreat the following afternoon. They stopped at a waist-high cobblestone wall that overlooked a serene lake. Leaning down on the wall with his forearms, Anakin gazed at the beautiful view. The leaning reduced Anakin?s height considerably, allowing for Sabé to have a dead on, direct view of his handsome profile.

    ?When I was in Level Three, we used to come here for school retreat. See that island? We used to swim there every day. I love the water. We used to lie on the sand and let the sun dry us.? Sabé said in a dreamy voice.

    ?I don?t like sand. It?s coarse ... rough ... irritating, and it gets everywhere.? Anakin explained as a feeling of melancholy trickled over him. He and his mother were the lucky ones; they escaped the wretched place that was Tatooine. He vowed one day, when he became an accomplished Jedi Knight, that he would work to rid all planets of the injustice referred to as slavery.

    Anakin was so deep in thought that he didn?t realize a small hand had slid over his, caressing it ever so gently. The hand moved to his face, turning it to the right and before he knew it, a pair of soft lips covered his.

    ?You shouldn?t have done that.? He yanked his face away and immediately stood up straight, leaving a bewildered Sabé blinking in frustration.

    ?I'm sorry. It?s the stress, I haven?t been myself lately.? Sabé quickly apologized, feeling disappointed and quite embarrassed that Anakin had rejected her.

    - - -

    [i]?Do you understand why this is necessary?? The deep voice questioned vehemently.

    ?Yes Milord.? The girl replied, bracing herself for the inevitable. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists tightly as series of whips struck her back.[/i]

    Anakin?s eyes fluttered open, the dream having been so vivid that it jolted him awake, again. [i]These dreams are getting worse[/i], he thought as he took in a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. Knowing that resuming sleep would be impossible, Anakin walked out to the veranda to meditate instead.

    He was unsure how long he had been standing in the traditional Jedi meditation stance when a soft voice spoke to him. ?You had a nightmare again. I heard you from across the hall.? Sabé stated, wondering if Anakin was dreaming about his [i]friend [/i] again.

    ?Yes.? He continued to keep his eyes closed hoping she would get the
     
  6. Darth_Leia_6669

    Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Wow, another post up already?! I haven't gotten a chance to read it yet, but I wanted to chime in with what I think of reast of it anyway.

    Hmm, I?ve seen references to Qui-Gon and Shmi, but this is probably the first story I?ve come across that took it this far. I like it, don?t get me wrong, especially since it allowed Anakin to have contact with his mother. I always felt that was one of the Council?s mistakes, severing all contact between them. I also like that Qui-Gon became his father figure. Yes, the way you set it up makes perfect sense for Anakin to have turned out like he did here.

    Another thing that I like is your little injections of humor. Nice little touches, coming out just how they would in real life. Well done on that score!

    This bounty hunter is quite intriguing. Dare I guess who it could be? [face_laugh] An awesome start!

    Please, if you have a PM list, I would like to be added. :D

    Don't worry, I'll be back in a day or two to let you know about this chappie. It's the way I do this until I got net at home.

    --later?
    6669 [face_devil]
     
  7. Helen_Taft

    Helen_Taft Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Yowser! I have been out of touch the last week, lol. A new fic I didn't see and three chapters up. This is great! I love your AU. Like your reader above, I too think it was one of the worst mistakes the council made in severing Anakin from his mom. I think it's pretty obvious that she was a balancing factor in his life---so I'm really interested to see where you take this. Also, I'm seriously intrigued about Padme's role in this fic with the canon one already taken. Great ideas. I'm already hooked.=D=
     
  8. Darth_Leia_6669

    Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Interesting twist to the story. Having him dreaming of (I?m guessing Padme ;)) instead of his mother and Sabe flirting with him is making this such a good read. I can?t wait to see how this is going to turn out, and how much will deviate from AOTC, and how much will parallel it.

    --later--
    6669 [face_devil]
     
  9. Lisbev

    Lisbev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 11, 2008
    VaderLVR64 I've got three sons. This is something their sister learned early on.
    WOWSERs! 4 kids? How do you stay sane enough to write all those wonderful stories? I only have one son & I can barely keep up. Well, does it count that my hubby is a baby in a man?s body?

    Darth_Leia_6669 Wow, another post up already?! I haven't gotten a chance to read it yet, but I wanted to chime in with what I think of rest of it anyway. Hmm, I?ve seen references to Qui-Gon and Shmi, but this is probably the first story I?ve come across that took it this far. I like it, don?t get me wrong, especially since it allowed Anakin to have contact with his mother. I always felt that was one of the Council?s mistakes, severing all contact between them. I also like that Qui-Gon became his father figure. Yes, the way you set it up makes perfect sense for Anakin to have turned out like he did here. Another thing that I like is your little injections of humor. Nice little touches, coming out just how they would in real life. Well done on that score! This bounty hunter is quite intriguing. Dare I guess who it could be? An awesome start!
    Interesting twist to the story. Having him dreaming of (I?m guessing Padme) instead of his mother and Sabe flirting with him is making this such a good read. I can?t wait to see how this is going to turn out, and how much will deviate from AOTC, and how much will parallel it.

    O Gosh, thank you so much for the kind words. I?m just ecstatic about your review. Writing doesn?t come easy for me so I?ve been worried if any of this even makes sense. I mean, just because it makes sense to me, doesn?t necessarily mean it will make sense to anyone else. Receiving a detailed review like yours telling me that the things I?ve tried to convey have indeed meshed in the right way just makes me thrilled to pieces.

    Helen_Taft Yowser! I have been out of touch the last week, lol. A new fic I didn't see and three chapters up. This is great! I love your AU. Like your reader above, I too think it was one of the worst mistakes the council made in severing Anakin from his mom. I think it's pretty obvious that she was a balancing factor in his life---so I'm really interested to see where you take this. Also, I'm seriously intrigued about Padme's role in this fic with the canon one already taken. Great ideas. I'm already hooked.
    YAY! Thank you for reading. I wholeheartedly agree with you & Darth_Leia_6669 that the council were a bunch of stupid morons for forcing Anakin to sever ties with his mom. And to have her die the way she did ? LOL no wonder he was so obsessed with becoming more powerful to save Padmé.







    [face_good_luck] [b]Ch 2 ? Part B: Words of a Wise Man[/b]

    After breakfast the next morning, Qui-Gon and Anakin journeyed into the village to pick up a few household supplies.

    ?Something bothering you?? Qui-Gon asked his stepson and former Padawan.

    ?I don?t understand what you?re talking about.? Anakin replied despite knowing that his dad probably sensed something amiss about his mood.

    ?Have you forgotten that we have a strong Force bond between us?? Qui-Gon put a gentle hand on Anakin?s shoulder.

    ?I?m ... just confused.? The young Padawan stated hesitantly.

    ?Does this have anything to do with your nightmare from last night?? Qui-Gon asked then continued before Anakin could answer, ?Yes, we heard you.?

    ?I?ve been having strange nightmares about someone I barely met. I see her as clearly as I see you right now, standing in front of me. Somehow I feel like I?ve known her for a very long time, but I don?t.? Anakin explained with confusion evident in his voice.

    ?The Force is a mysterious entity, indeed. But you must always remember nothing happens by coincidence.? The former Jedi Master confidently stated.

    ?Are you saying I should do something about this?? Anakin looked to his former m
     
  10. Darth_Leia_6669

    Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    What a cliffie! I enjoyed the banter between Anakin and Qui-Gon, and his advice was exactly what I imagine it would have been. Anakin using the flying as his meditation was also well done.

    I understand totally what you mean about worrying that things won't make sense to someone else even if they make sense to you. I have that problem all the time! [face_laugh] I wouldn't worry on that front, as this is working out quite well. Let me know when the next chappie is up!

    --later--
    6669 [face_devil]
     
  11. Helen_Taft

    Helen_Taft Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Another wonderful update! It was great to get some back story on Qui-Gon and Anakin through their talk. I?m highlighting the below because I thought it was so well written, and in character for Qui-Gon.

    ?The Force is a mysterious entity, indeed. But you must always remember nothing happens by coincidence.? The former Jedi Master confidently stated.

    ?Are you saying I should do something about this?? Anakin looked to his former master, hoping he would offer some clear-cut answers.

    ?I can?t tell you what to do Anakin, for this vision is yours, not mine. But don?t worry, the situation will just present itself and you?ll just know what to do.


    AND?

    Swerving between trees at harrowing speeds, the young Jedi apprentice basked in the exhilarating sensation of flying. He had not been able to ride like this for ages. This was his meditation, his way of connecting to the Force. It wasn?t just his physical body that was flying. Anakin felt the Force?s energy flow through him, taking his soul up so high that it seemed to soar into the heavens.

    This also leapt out at me (in a good way). This is so Anakin. Wonderful characterisation and so emotively descriptive too.

    You?ve really got into the heads of the characters and it makes all the difference when reading fics for me when an author can do that. Great job! =D= =D=

    Now for my thoughts on that evil cliff-hanger.8-} ARGGGHHH!!!! Totally evil! You better have a new update soon.[face_praying]
     
  12. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Evil cliffie! [face_devil] [face_shame_on_you]

    Loved this:

    ?Your failure has cost us valuable time. Our Master is most displeased with you. Failure is not acceptable.? The man bellowed in fury as he delivered strikes to the girl?s back.

    ?Yes Milord.? The girl breathlessly agreed as the excruciating pain began to overwhelm her senses.

    Anakin?s eyes snapped open. His breathing was labored and his body was drenched with sweat despite the cool night air. It wasn?t just a vivid dream like before; this time, he actually sensed the girl?s pain as if it were his own.


    =D=
     
  13. p_stotts

    p_stotts Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2001
    That's right, draw me in and leave me hanging! :mad: ;) :D This is an excellent story, Lisbev. If you have a pm list, please add me to it. I certainly hope Qui-Gon isn't too far away to assist Anakin. He needs to help that girl escape. Of course, we all know who the girl is, don't we? ;)

    Great job! =D=
     
  14. Lisbev

    Lisbev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 11, 2008
    :eek: What?! I didn?t know I had another reader! YAY! Does happy dance.[face_dancing] [face_dancing] [face_dancing] Welcome aboard p_stotts!

    Author Responses:

    p_stotts - That's right, draw me in and leave me hanging! This is an excellent story, Lisbev. If you have a pm list, please add me to it. I certainly hope Qui-Gon isn't too far away to assist Anakin. He needs to help that girl escape. Of course, we all know who the girl is, don't we? Great job!
    Oh WOWSERs, thank so much for the kind words and thank you for reading.:)

    Helen_Taft - Wonderful characterization and so emotively descriptive too. You?ve really got into the heads of the characters and it makes all the difference when reading fics for me when an author can do that. Great job!
    [:D] I can?t tell you how much I appreciate your constructive reviews.[:D] As you can see, I?m a characterization junkie too. I?ve gotta admit though, that it has been challenging at best to convey just the right amount, ?cause I know too much or too little of it isn?t a good thing either.

    Darth_Leia_6669 - I enjoyed the banter between Anakin and Qui-Gon, and his advice was exactly what I imagine it would have been. Anakin using the flying as his meditation was also well done.
    [:D] I?m soo thrilled you noticed the flying meditation thingy, I was rather proud of that segment. Thanks again for reading. :)

    VaderLVR64 - Evil cliffie!
    That is such a great compliment, cause I worked really hard at it. :p Thanks again for reading. :)


    *** The next chapter will be posted SOOON. ***
     
  15. VAPa

    VAPa Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2008
    This is a really fun story you?ve got going here. Anakin seems so sweet and I love the healthy, positive relationships he has with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.

    I agree with the other readers about Anakin using the bike riding flying as his form of meditation, totally fits his personality.

    Sabe?s flirting and Anakin?s awkwardness about it is so cute.

    Dare I guess who this bounty hunter with the ?angelic face? is? [face_thinking] o_O

    Please include me on the PM list.
     
  16. Inperfect

    Inperfect Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2008
    Ive never really seen, Qui-Gon and Shmi together, i always like Qui-Gon\Tahl, but this is good, good job.
     
  17. CommanderK23

    CommanderK23 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 4, 2004
    Well, you've got me hooked. May I please be on the PM list? :)
     
  18. Lisbev

    Lisbev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 11, 2008
    :eek: What?! More readers! YAY! Does double happy dance.[face_dancing] [face_dancing] [face_dancing] [face_dancing] Welcome aboard VAPa, Inperfect , CommanderK23 !!!

    Author Responses:

    VAPa
    - This is a really fun story you?ve got going here. Anakin seems so sweet and I love the healthy, positive relationships he has with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. I agree with the other readers about Anakin using the bike riding flying as his form of meditation, totally fits his personality. Sabe?s flirting and Anakin?s awkwardness about it is so cute. Dare I guess who this bounty hunter with the ?angelic face? is? OMG! Thank you sooo much for your kind words. I?m having so much fun writing this story and am just thrilled that you?ve enjoyed it thus far. [:D]

    Inperfect - Ive never really seen, Qui-Gon and Shmi together, i always like Qui-Gon\Tahl, but this is good, good job.
    I agree that the Qui-Gon/Shmi pairing is quite different, but I couldn?t resist, [face_blush] it was the perfect set-up for Anakin to have loving parents. Thank you for giving this story a chance, I truly appreciate it.

    CommanderK23 - Well, you've got me hooked.
    YAY! I?m thrilled that you?re hooked![:D] Hope you like the next post, and thanx for reading.




    [b]A/N: [/b]

    1) Sorry it took like forever for me to update this story, DRL has been Force choking me.

    2) I tried my darndest (don?t think that?s a real word) to do a little action thingy & I only managed to come up with a tiny snippet of it. So yeah, I fully admit that it sucks & it doesn?t do any justice to The Chosen One, but hey I?m new to writing fanfiction and am still in the process of learning. Gotta start somewheres, right? Anywho, thanks in advance for bearing with my inadequacies. Oh wait, another thought, the action may suck, but at least I worked on it myself & it?s mine. I recently stumbled onto a topic/post that was locked/removed due to plagiarism, and [i]EWW YUCK[/i]! Can?t believe this happens even in fanfiction ? LOL. Some people have no shame, UGG! Sorry for the long a/n.

    [hr]


    [face_good_luck] [b]Ch 3 ? Rescues, Part 1[/b]

    Two men emerged from the tunnel with weapons in tow and ready to strike the Jedi. One whirled a metal chain while the other swung a long blade. With the aide of the Force heightening his already keen senses, Anakin quickly ducked his head while his hand captured the chain midair, forcefully yanking one man down. At the same time, he extended his long leg and swept under the other man?s feet, causing a crisp smack on the cave?s floor with the sudden collapsing of his body. Determined not to be bested by a lone Jedi, the men scrambled to their feet ready to launch a counter attack.

    ?You?ll need to be quicker than that.? Anakin taunted, knowing the few seconds it took for them to regain focus was more than sufficient time for him to subdue them further. Utilizing the Force?s energy still coursing through him, the tall padawan hastily waved his hands in the air, unleashing a fierce Force blast. Painful grunts echoed throughout the cave as the men?s bodies crashed into a wall and for a second time, tumbled to the ground in a tangled heap.

    Quickly crouching down, Anakin hoisted the girl?s unconscious form onto his shoulder and raced through the cave?s passage.

    A third man stepped out of the tunnel after the young Jedi vacated the cave?s vicinity. ?Fools!? He bellowed angrily at his accomplices? failure. Finally managing to regain their composure, the men proceeded to go after the girl?s kidnapper, but halted as their master ordered differently. ?Stop! We don?t have time to go after her right now. Lord Sidious will be in contact with the instructions for next assignment.?

    Turning on his heel, Darth Tyranus let out a frustrated sigh as he made his way into the bowls of the cave. He sat on the s
     
  19. Helen_Taft

    Helen_Taft Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 2008
    LMAO! I'm in work and you had me snorting out-loud with the inner dialogue between Anakin and Qui-gon. [face_laugh] I'm so glad that Anakin managed to rescue his mystery angel and I loved how you described their connection. I can't wait for them to have a proper meeting! Yee!=D= @};-
     
  20. p_stotts

    p_stotts Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2001
    You really are a mean one, Lisbev! [face_shame_on_you] Leaving us like that. Now what? It looks like Padme won't be cooperating with Anakin's plans for her. And what is Anakin thinking? :confused: Or is he thinking?

    I like Qui-Gon's sense of humor in this. Why won't Anakin at least confide in his dad as to what's going on?

    Don't mind me. Just some random rambling of my mind. :-B Great post!
     
  21. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Great post! Loved the dialogue between Anakin and Qui-Gon! :D

    =D=
     
  22. CommanderK23

    CommanderK23 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 4, 2004
    Hmm... I wonder what's gonna happen now? Excellent update =D=
     
  23. VAPa

    VAPa Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2008
    The action part was short but I felt you got the point across just fine. Don?t be so hard on yourself. Besides, didn?t you describe this story as friendship/romance anyways? [face_thinking]

    This was another really fun chapter. I love your portrayal of Qui-Gon, he?s so witty, just like in canon. I like how Anakin and Padme are so connected, but I have to admit I?m really nervous that she?s a Sith. [face_worried]

    The young brunette?s eyes fluttered open at the sound of a loud snort and some gurgling noises projected directly into her ear. HILARIOUS,[face_laugh] I almost snorted myself when I got to this part. :p
     
  24. Darth_Leia_6669

    Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Fight scenes just take some practice, don't fret about it. The rest of it was as well done as always. I especially liked Qui-Gon teasing Anakin about the lip-rouge. Hilarious! I can?t help but to wonder where things will go from here.

    --later--
    6669 [face_devil]
     
  25. AnakinLuver

    AnakinLuver Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2006
    Add me to the PM list... this is a very interesting twist to the original story... I am really intrigued by it though so I can't wait for more!

    Rachel Rose@};-
     
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