Saga Different Truths - Obi-Wan POV; ficlet, finished

Title: Different truths
Author: Seremela
Genre: introspection
Characters: Obi-Wan's POV; Qui-Gon, Anakin, Ric Olie
Timeline: TPM, journey from Coruscant back to Naboo
Summary: Obi-Wan was pretty angry with Qui-Gon before the journey back to Naboo; so why did he apologize on Naboo?
Disclaimer: Star Wars and all its characters belong to George Lucas; this is just for fun, no money made.
Notes: This is written for the second challenge in the writing workshop 'From Idea to Story': Step out of your comfort zone and write in the point of view that you usually avoid like the plague.
I chose first pov and by the Force, have I agonized over it !

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[b]Different truths[/b]

Qui-Gon won?t talk to me. Instead he avoids me. All he has done since we boarded the Queen?s cruiser to go back to Naboo was give me this look, the disappointment in his eyes crystal clear. A look that made me feel all of thirteen years old again, and in the wrong.

How dare he do that? If one of us should be disappointed, it?s me. He is the one who cast me aside. And for what? For a boy he hardly knows, a boy filled with anger and fear. Even I can feel this Anakin is dangerous, so why can?t he? Correction, why won?t he? I know my master, he?s too strong in the Force to miss what the Council, and I, sense. He knows what lives underneath that cute innocent little boy-look as much as we do.

And he ignores it, even pushed me aside for it. Why? Because the boy is supposedly stronger in the Force than any other being ever was? Is that so important to him?

I keep hearing his angry words after I confronted him about the boy, just before boarding. It still hurts, that anger and the way he dismissed me like some wet behind the ears Initiate. He hardly ever gets angry with me. With the Council, yes. With beings who hurt others through their actions, very much so. But not with me. Instead he goes into teaching mode. Not that that?s always better, but this time I wished he had given me a lecture. Maybe then I?d known what?s going on in his that hard head of his, why he did what he did.

He had no right to get mad instead and dismiss me.

Okay, maybe a little. Thinking back I realize I shouldn?t have said what I said about the boy where he could hear me, that was uncalled for. I don?t even have the excuse that I didn?t see him, because I did. I was just too furious to stop talking, too busy to try and make Qui-Gon see reason. I do feel bad about it now. Whatever else this Anakin is, he?s also a small child who had to leave his mother and the only home he?d ever known, even if it was as a slave. When I walked away I heard him tell my master he didn?t want to be a bother. He sounded so forlorn. I fled into the cruiser at that point, not something I?m particularly proud of.

Maybe my master is disappointed in me because I hurt the boy?s feelings? That?d be a laugh, he hurt mine at least as much.

Somehow I don?t think that?s it though, or at least not all of it. There?s something about his silence, about his avoiding to talk to me about Anakin which reminds me of all the other times he let me stew and figure things out for myself. He has always done that, all through my apprenticeship.

I walk to the small porthole to stare at the streaking lights of hyperspace, always a soothing sight for me. Not this time though. Before I know it I?m pacing the small cabin they gave me from one corner to the next.

No matter how I turn things around in my head, I don?t understand why Qui-Gon pushed me away like he did. It?s not that I?m not ready for my trials, the Force knows I am, more than ready. It?s been harder and harder to keep myself in the background during our missions, or keep my mouth shut, especially when I see him do something I just know he shouldn?t. Oh, he lets me handle parts of our missions, he trusts me, I know he does, it?s just that when it comes to decisions he?ll

 

That was awesome!!!!

Great Job!

 

WOW what a nice piece of Obi-Wan. Absolutely beautiful and showing the great friendship Obi-Wan has with Qui-Gon.

 

Wow.

If you hadn't told us, then I would never had known you were out of your comfort zone.

Beautifully written.

 

I agree I never would have known you weren't used to this POV. Great fic

 

Thank you all so very, very much for your kind words and encouragement!

It is very much appreciated, especially for this, since it's a whole new experience for me.

 

Absolutely gorgeous!

 

Thank you so very much, VaderLVR

 

I shouldn?t feel betrayed because he has enough love in his big heart to give a dangerous, but also small and frightened boy a chance when no one else seems to want to, certainly not the Council.

As soon as we have some privacy I?m going to try and talk to him, apologize. Make him see I understand now, at least a little.

Ah, Obi, you've stumbled upon part of the story - Qui's side, of course, but don't diminish your very real feelings. You were pushed aside for another in his heart, not joined by another within that heart as it was executed, regardless of how it was meant.

To be kind to one was to be cruel to another.

That's the sadness within that scene.

 

Beautifully written, and that's not an easy scene to write about. It's all too easy to write it in an unbalanced manner (I know I would) but you've handled it wonderfully,

Well done.

 

Hi Valairy, thank you very much for reading and taking the time to react

I have to admit, I never did view the scene in the Council room this way myself. I saw it mainly as a part of showing the Jedi Council in all it's harshness (only busy with possible future dangers in disregard of the feelings and future of a very real person) against how different a compassionate individual would react, who maybe saw the personal too much, but at least tried to help a small, frightened boy. Not as some mean betrayal of Obi-Wan.

After all, Obi-Wan was an adult here, 26 years of age, hardly dependent on Qui-Gon anymore and probably having his own quarters (at least I'd hope so at that age) even if Qui-Gon was still his teacher. And of course theirs was a working partnership, like seasoned cop and rooki I guess, a powerful relationship of watching each other's back.

So it was a shock for me to find that view of betrayal here and elsewhere, and I guess that somehow came together in my head to form this ficlet.



joanne_jinn: Thank you very much, it's what I tried, show some balance, although I'm not sure if that worked completely. Maybe I should have added a Qui-Gon pov for that as well after all.