Before - Legends Tete-A-Tete (First sentence Challenge) - One-Shot

Title: Tete-A-Tete
Author: P_A
Timeframe: JA, AU
Characters: The 3 you know best
Genre: Mush?
Summary: Two Jedi have a talk.
Notes: I haven't been here in quite a while because my muse just ... left. I've dragged her back for a brief interlude. This isn't a great effort - but I had some fun writing it for the First sentence Challenge.

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It was always messy cleaning up after a murder.

?It is always messy, cleaning up after a murder.?

?Speak for yourself ? and if you?re speaking for someone else, kindly yank their hair or lekku for me. Our murders are always clean-cut, cauterized affairs.?

?You make it sound like a surgical procedure.?

?Light-sabers nearly always do make it surgical procedures. It?s better that way. Vibro-shivs are such crude objects ? bits of flesh and blood everywhere. Although it does enhance the artistic effect.?

?Must you so obviously relish these ? descriptions??

?My squeamish little padawan-brother.?

?Showing some disgust at a painful way of taking life amounts to being squeamish??

?Spare me your efforts at being a diplomat. I already know that Qui-Gon is bent on making you one ? kindly desist from displaying your lessons to me. Besides, disgust is an emotion and as we?re all mindless droids, I suggest you meditate yourself out of it before a Master catches a whiff of it.?

?I apologize for imposing on you, Knight DeCrion. I should have known better than to intrude and destroy your peace of mind.?

?Tut-tut. Do away with these impositions and intrusions. If I thought you really were guilty of those high-sounding faults you?d have known about it by now.?

???

?Are you just going to sit there in morose silence? Mulishness doesn?t become you, Padawan Kenobi.?

???

?If diplomacy works not, righteous silence always does, to quote Master Yoda when he?s not drunk on Swamp Juice.?

?I?m not righteously silent. I?m just ? silent.?

?At the moment, you?re not. Wait ? wait, don?t go. If I may, Obi-Wan, do stop looking so offended. That particular luxury is reserved for me. Ah, much better. Now what?s all this about messy murders? Have you just buried some deserving little idiot under the fourth stairway that leads towards the Council Chambers? If it?s that offending white-haired Brick ??

?Bruck.?

?I shall call him Brick ? he makes me want to stick him on a pointy temple spire and stuff him full of mortar. Would it be him? That would please more than one Knight and several padawans, even to my meager knowledge of your clan.?

?I wouldn?t murder even Bri ? Bruck ? that?s not what I came to talk to you about. And must you keep saying murder??

?So that?s what this is all about? Murder??

?Do we commit murder when we use our light-sabres??

?I must ask Qui-Gon to censor your reading material.?

?How did ?? I haven?t been reading anything.?

?Unhappily, unlike me, you?re a terrible liar.?

?I?m not ? lying.?

?How did you get your hands on a copy of An Essential Treatise on Jedi Living, Weaponry and Code??

?Is that what it?s called??

?What was your copy called??

???

?Stars ? this data-card looks aeons old ? what??

?I didn?t really ??

?Jedi: An Amateur's Treatise as Impartial Observer, Voracious Reader, Student of Philosophy into the Life, Dangerous Weapons and Murderous Tactics of the So-Called Guardians of our Galaxy and How They Destroy Our Lives ? are you sure the title stops there??

?I think so, yes.?

?I?m not going to dignify this piece of nerf-residue by calling it writing ? but I am curious to know why you, a supposedly intelligent life-form, chose to be ruffled by the libelous things it contains??

?Shouldn?t I have read it??

?If I told you that you shouldn?t have gone within a parsec of it, it wouldn?t make a particle of difference, I?m sure.?

???

?This data-card also says we eat human young for every meal and the intestines of twi?leks when Endor shines bright. I suppose you believe that too.?

?It does??

?Obviously, you haven?t read it all. The author of this thing ought to be banished to the Asylum For Criminally Insane on Zofur.?

?Then ?

 

Bravo! Tres excellent!

Now if you would be so kind as to update your languishing stories - you know, By the Pricking of my Thumbs, The Learner - I'm dying to know how those work out.

 

That's hilarious! Well done!

 

Aaaaaah, nice to see you here! Try a few drabbles, or idles chit-chat in Resources. That can shake out a few plot bunnies.

Such lovely sarcasm....so Obi-Wan has dug up some of Xanatos's old scribblings? Corrupting his mind with Xanatos's mis-spent youth. Yes, Qui-Gon should let Xanatos clean up after his own murders.

 

Thanks so much for this hilarious fic! I have to agree with the others though...can we expect an update on your other stories any time soon? We're anxiously waiting... Thanks again for the story!

 

?Even so ? know that you will have to perform service in the Garden of Penance for three months. On the charges of trying to corrupt impressionable minds.?

?Unjust!?

?It is always messy to clean up after a murder. Which is why I?m refraining from it.?



That was hilarious and mushy and wonderful! It's good to see you back! I was just thinking about you the other day. (And this is Layren, I've switched user names while you were gone. ) I hope we'll be seeing more of you around soon!