Before - Legends The Dead and The Dying. All humor. Qui & young Obi + pathetic life forms. Thx for Best Author nom!

Title: The Dead and The Dying
Author: Valairy_Scot
Timeframe: JA - Obi is a pretty new padawan
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn
Genre: Humor vignette
Keywords: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, pathetic life forms
Summary: Who'd have thought leaving Obi-Wan in charge of hearth and home would result in death?
Notes: Plot bunnied from They Who Are Left Behind in Saga




The Dead and the Dying



Oh, no ? I?ve killed it! Them! All of them!

For a wild moment, the boy within Obi-Wan overwhelmed the Jedi padawan he was. Master is going to kill me! Panicked thoughts crossed his mind in dizzy array ? he could replace them. Go to the zoo ? go to the gardens ? go somewhere far, far away where Qui-Gon couldn?t find him and kill him for killing them?until rational thought returned.

The guilt would follow him, even if he fled the scene.

He squared his shoulders, sniffed once at the thought of being in trouble the very second his master stepped through the door before they even greeted each other, and prepared to face his fate as a Jedi ? penitent, apologetic, and contrite.

Qui-Gon had trusted him ? and he had failed. Miserably.

The most important mission of his entire padawanship ? stewardship of something his master loved almost as much as the Force ? a mission entrusted to him as solace for having to remain behind. Qui-Gon knew how badly he wanted to be at his master?s side, where a padawan belonged, but this mission required he remain behind.

?I?m leaving you in charge of something terribly important ? guarding lives,? Qui-Gon had consoled him before he left.

Obi-Wan blanched in understandable fear at this task laid before him.

A finger under his chin lifted his face so he would see his master?s smile, twitching at his mouth. ?I trust you, Obi-Wan,? he intoned as Obi-Wan?s eyes grew wide.

Oh, no!

Surely his master hadn?t just adopted another pathetic ? living ? life form? What if this one had fangs and didn?t like him ? like the last one? It may have been an aquatic creature, swimming happily between transparisteel panels but it had nearly torn his fingers off that time he?d fed it at Master Qui-Gon?s request.

The resulting blood, introduced into its specialized solution had nearly killed the creature; its distress rolling though the Force in a soundless shriek.

Obi-Wan?s own surprised and quite audible shriek at his punctured fingers brought Qui-Gon rushing from his room ? rushing right past him and his bleeding fingers ? to scoop the creature up and transfer it into another container.

?Clean out the container, please, Padawan ? you?ve contaminated it ? didn?t I tell you not to touch anything, just shake some food over the surface?? his master threw over his shoulder as he cooed at the repulsive thing.

Even worse, the thing floated happily in its temporary container with its flat face pressed up against the side staring at Qui-Gon as Qui-Gon stared back, two happy beings, happy in each other?s company, as happy waves rippled through the Force.

He cleaned up the container, grumbling under his breath for he was not about to whine about how much his fingers hurt. It was, after all, just fingers, even if they hurt far more than one thought they should.

The next thing he knew, he woke in the Healers Ward, his entire hand invisible behind bandages and anti-toxin dripping into his veins.

?Padawan ? ah, I was quite worried about you,? Qui-Gon said, leaning forward and pressing a warm hand to his forehead as he stirred and blinked. ?When you only cleaned Pibble?s container without refilling it, I went to look for you and you were already pale and unconscious. I did, ah, warn you never to touch Pibble??

?Touched me?? he mumbled. At Qui-Gon?s surprised look, Obi-Wan lifted his hand ? and stared ? under the wrap it was easily twice its normal size. ?Bit me.? He smiled woozily.

?Pibbles wouldn?t bite anyone,? Qui-Gon sounded

 

Qui-Gon and his pathetic lifeforms.

Obi-Wan should know by now that he is one of them.
There at his Masters beck and call.

I wonder where we get the impression that Qui-Gon loves little critters and Obi-Wan doesn't

It made me smile
Great writing.

 

a great way to end a day of work pathetic lifeforms. Obi has had his share with them.

Lovely and one of your masterpieces

 

Aw, man - that was just too much fun.

Obi-Wan?s own surprised and quite audible shriek at his punctured fingers brought Qui-Gon rushing from his room ? rushing right past him and his bleeding fingers ? to scoop the creature up and transfer it into another container.

?Clean out the container, please, Padawan ? you?ve contaminated it ? didn?t I tell you not to touch anything, just shake some food over the surface?? his master threw over his shoulder as he cooed at the repulsive thing.

Even worse, the thing floated happily in its temporary container with its flat face pressed up against the side staring at Qui-Gon as Qui-Gon stared back, two happy beings, happy in each other?s company, as happy waves rippled through the Force.

That whole passage just about killed me. Seriously.

Qui-Gon had crossed his arms and was looking at him from under half-closed eyelids, probably wondering what he had done to deserve a padawan who didn?t know what to say to plants. This was definitely the one drawback to being paired with a master so attuned to the Living Force ? he knew what to say to plants ? and all sorts of beings ? even pathetic life forms.

A Jedi attuned to the Unifying Force hadn?t a clue how to talk to plants.

As did that one. My mom was always a plant-lover, and she adored gardening. I, on the other hand, did not. I must be attuned to the the Unifying Force, because I have absolutely no clue what one says to a plant.

This was excellent. Loved it.

 

What a fun post!!! Great job! This made my day!!

 

oh this was so great!!

Poor Obi-Wan all worried he had killed Qui-Gon's plants. Great use of the 'pathetic lifeform' expression. I wont be able to look at this scene the same way the next time i watch TPM

 

Nice light story. Thanks for a laugh.

 

This was fantastic!

Poor Obi-Wan, he tried so hard only to fall short. I'm glad Qui-Gon had the sense to make his padawan feel worthwhile at the end.

 

Hilarious! I've known people like that... who can kill a plant just by looking at it. I've always had a fairly green thumb, but for some, nothing but a silk plant will do. I think this story definitely rates a "poor Obi-Wan."

 

Aww, poor Obi.

I can understand his frustration-I also have a black thumb. I even killed a cactus once, I think I over-watered it.

?Padawan?? His master?s arms wrapped around him and hugged him. ?I don?t like Pibbles more than you. As much as you, perhaps?but I?d rather have you here with me than Pibbles. It?s selfish of me, I?m sure, but I don?t want to share you with all those zoo visitors.? Aww, Qui-Gon does care! I loved that flashback about Pibbles-did Qui come up with that name?


?Talk??

?Talk.?

?Sure, Master, I can talk. But to plants ? and what do I say??

?Good morning, perhaps? Good night??

?Sure, I can say that,? Obi-Wan agreed in a hurry. Qui-Gon had crossed his arms and was looking at him from under half-closed eyelids, probably wondering what he had done to deserve a padawan who didn?t know what to say to plants. This was definitely the one drawback to being paired with a master so attuned to the Living Force ? he knew what to say to plants ? and all sorts of beings ? even pathetic life forms.

A Jedi attuned to the Unifying Force hadn?t a clue how to talk to plants. Hee hee, poor Obi and Qui-Gon.


Thanks for sharing this, Valairy, I really enjoyed it!

 

Oh, this was great! Thanks for the laugh.

And I'm sure Pibbles (what a name ) has a mean streak, I don't know, but I think he was trying to get Qui-Gon for himself

As for talking to plants, I know, I know, it helps, and music too. That's why all mine are fakes now, they at least stay green I could totally relate to that part and to poor Obi-Wan. Loved Qui-Gon's answer in the end, must have made Obi-Wan feel a lot better

 

Gkilkenny I wonder where we get the impression that Qui-Gon loves little critters and Obi-Wan doesn't Fanfic of course. The truth is Obi probably is fine with little critters - just not Qui-Gon's biting, scratching, clawing critters.

Earlybird-Ob-Wan Glad you enjoyed it.

General_Kenobi_66 As did that one. My mom was always a plant-lover, and she adored gardening. I, on the other hand, did not. I must be attuned to the the Unifying Force, because I have absolutely no clue what one says to a plant. Some plants I can kill with a look; some struggle on despite me. It's tough.

Jedidas3 Glad you enjoyed it, though not as much as your birthday fic, right? (Especially the PM version )

Veloz Poor Obi-Wan all worried he had killed Qui-Gon's plants. Great use of the 'pathetic lifeform' expression. I wont be able to look at this scene the same way the next time i watch TPM Aw, how swwet.

Charie Poor Obi-Wan, he tried so hard only to fall short. I'm glad Qui-Gon had the sense to make his padawan feel worthwhile at the end. In his own unique way.

Bek Glad you enjoyed it.

P_stotts Hilarious! I've known people like that... who can kill a plant just by looking at it. Hmm naming names?

Bastet Thanks for reading.

Seremela And I'm sure Pibbles (what a name ) has a mean streak, I don't know, but I think he was trying to get Qui-Gon for himself.

So true, Pibbles LOVES Qui-Gon and Pibbles is jealous. None of Qui's creatures want to share Qui with Obi, so they try to push him out of his life, hurt, maim or kill him.

 

Shameless bump to see if there's any new readers out there.

 

Very good, Valairy_Scot!! Such a cute little piece! It's a real gem!

I especially loved this line-

Nothing so cute as a feverish, young Obi-Wan!

Thanks for a good chuckle!

~Celeste

PS- The shameless bump worked. I probably wouldn't have seen this otherwise.

 

CelseteAntola: Such a cute little piece! It's a real gem!
Aw, - thanks much.

Nothing so cute as a feverish, young Obi-Wan! He's adorable any age, any state of health.


PS- The shameless bump worked. I probably wouldn't have seen this otherwise. Then it was worthwhile.